"You'll end up where you were meant to"... - Page 7

Peaches-n-Cream · #91 02-02-2003, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
AND THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO POINT OUT!!!! It's awful when we say that and then some kid ends up with "that" house and her self-esteem is shot to hell because she thinks that if we wise folks on GC (or her counselor) said it, it must be true.

What exactly is "that" house?

carnation · #92 02-02-2003, 10:02 PM

The one that James described--"the house no one wants to be in". Okay, y'all, again I am not talking about one of the smaller groups or one that's less visible or isn't full of queens. I'm talking about the house you get on some (not all) campuses that is full of skanks or known for vicious hazing or has so little spirit that they--all at once--have by far the lowest GPA, refuse to enter Greek Week or intramurals, and won't contribute to anyone else's philanthropies with bucks or bodies.

You guys know what I mean--it's the group that the PNMs know after first parties (even if they went into rush with a totally open mind) that they don't want.

And right now I don't know of a group like that on any particular campus but I have seen several in the past.

Peaches-n-Cream · #93 02-02-2003, 10:16 PM

Oh, the skanks. They were pretty popular when I was in school.

Just kidding! lol!

I was afraid "that" meant the smaller, less visible group. Thanks for clarifying.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #94 02-03-2003, 12:06 AM

Well, I do think that in the minds of a rushee "that" house usually does mean the smaller, less visible, and less popular one. I was in one...............

justamom · #95 02-03-2003, 08:21 AM

I think if everyone had read what Carnation has said about problems on her OWN campus not to mention all the things she and others have read on GC over the past few years, you would have a better idea of what she is referring to.

Small does not equal "bad" or anything else in this particular discussion. It's talking about a house that is sorority in name only.
Not EVERY campus has one, but they do exist.

Consider the basis of rush. Most girls going through recruitment have similar experiences, goals, activities and are in a GPA range that varies by a few points. They can turn to any one in their group and have SOMETHING to talk about be it soccer in HS, choir, journalism... but SOMETIMES, no matter WHAT, you have ZERO in common with people and THAT is what I believe Carnation is referring to.

You can have a few houses that describe OTHER houses with negatives or terms that hit a lot of PNMs where it matters. This is a dirty rush tactic. However, when no words need to be spoken as the chapter speaks for itself, PNMs can walk out of a party and know full well, they would be miserable.

When baby girl rushed, there were a couple of houses that SOME
would have spoken less highly of than others. There are NO houses that fall into the category of down right BAD! Would she have fit anywhere? Maybe, on THIS campus, but some would "fit" better than others. I take that back. She would NOT have fit in a high maintenance situation...she's too laid back and doesn't like Prada!

James · #96 02-03-2003, 10:26 PM

Who is Baby girl?

Quote:

Originally posted by justamom

When baby girl rushed, there were a couple of houses that SOME
would have spoken less highly of than others. There are NO houses that fall into the category of down right BAD! Would she have fit anywhere? Maybe, on THIS campus, but some would "fit" better than others. I take that back. She would NOT have fit in a high maintenance situation...she's too laid back and doesn't like Prada!

Megerts · #97 02-04-2003, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KillarneyRose

I feel that I started rush with a big advantage over most of the other PNM's; I was friendly with many sisters, I knew what the different houses were like in "real life" as opposed to the image they presented during rush and I knew enough about which sisters were involved in what non-Greek activities that I could ask what I felt to be intelligent questions. I didn't feel that I needed a two week rush period to learn where I belonged because I'd done a couple years of independant research.

So I guess what I'd like to know is does everyone think the advantage I gave myself was unfair to the other rushees or do you feel that "all's fair" in love and....um, rush?

That's awesome that you got to go to all the parties and really experience what the sororities were like before rush, but what about those girls who don't live near the school of their choice? Maybe I was totally off, but you seemed to give the impression of "Hey, I went and did all this work, don't expect me to feel sorry for you"...

Well, what about those girls who don't know what school they are going until way after graduation. In my case, I was soooooo sure that I was going to a certain school in Virginia that I didn't even consider other schools. I know that had I gone to that school I would be set in the greek community.

But I didn't exactly get into that school... Then I come here, clueless about rush (that's another story! apparently all the girls from Texas didn't recieve the rush guide... sketch, huh?), but still feeling good about it. I go to the parties, I know a couple of girls in one of the houses, have a total blast just meeting all those new people. I thought everything went amazingly well, i go into to pick up my invites and bam! Cut from 9 of the 10 houses. I felt like a BIG loser. The whole time i kept hearing people say "you'll end up where you belong"... Oh sooo apparently I am uncool and belong to be sitting in my room alone while all my friends are at the house....

Yep, I definetly belong here.... riiiiiiiiiiight

So basically I think that's a horrible thing to say...

mmcat · #98 02-04-2003, 11:47 PM

baby giirl is jam's daughter who pledged dg last year...
and from all reports doing beautifully.
all good and correct, jam?

justamom · #99 02-05-2003, 08:01 AM

mmcat, you are correct! All is PRETTY good...though I wish her grades were a little better.
She is "enjoying" her college experience!

Megerts-there are so many stories about rush that didn't work out for wonderful girls. Some of us have first hand knowledge of this fact. Others have seen the friends of our children have a bad experience. That's why this is such an important topic.

What seems the saddest part of all this is some girls let it color their self confidence and carry it with them for years. Others just move on and never look back. It has to be difficult in a large Greek system where campus activities seem to center on Greek life, but there really is a whole other world out there that is just as thrilling and fun as being in a GLO. It's a little more difficult because YOU (universal) have to make it happen.

Killarney-I think knowing the ropes and the "real" personalities is a good thing. Maybe it would allow women to see past the cute skit or the "rep" they THOUGHT was true about the different houses.

My daughter came home Sat. for a BABY SHOWER!!! Anyway, we did have a LONG conversation about things. So much about rush is out of "individual" hands. It really does help if you have people who can speak up for you. (Unless they were NOT your friends in HS)

One last point, and perhaps this belongs on a different thread, but I think it's important.
Many actives will say if you get cut, it isn't personal. Then you hear others say keep an open mind, and some get rather upset if a girl seem determined to go after certain houses. Well..........it IS
personal from the PNMs perspective. Just like we advise the PNMs,
perhaps some of the houses should consider that THEY shouldn't take it personally if someone cuts THEM. From THAT perspective, do all the houses really end up with the girls who belong there? Just food or thought.

33girl · #**100** 02-05-2003, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Megerts
That's awesome that you got to go to all the parties and really experience what the sororities were like before rush, but what about those girls who don't live near the school of their choice? Maybe I was totally off, but you seemed to give the impression of "Hey, I went and did all this work, don't expect me to feel sorry for you"...

I don't think that's what KR was saying at all - more like she was worried that what she did was unfair and did hurt other girls. It's hard not to do around here though - Pittsburgh is called "the biggest small town in the US" and it's very very true - everyone knows everyone and a lot of people go to the same colleges.

adduncan · #**101** 02-05-2003, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
everyone knows everyone and a lot of people go to the same colleges.

I think it's important to point out that educating freshmen/women about Greek life is going to have to be in two tiers:
1) when your school is made up of students from the local HS - see example above
2) when you have many students relocating from hundreds or even thousands of miles away, and are not as familiar with the system, or culture, or traditions of the local city.

Case in point: I reported on another thread (cf, Sororities and HS info--or something like that) that Boston U recruits students in every state. Houston is over 1500 miles away from Boston, and Texas has a "national" flavor very different from anything on the east coast.. (Let's not even talk about applicants from Los Angeles, Tacoma, Anchorage, or Honolulu..... )

Even with Spring formal rush for freshmen, so they have a semester to get "settled in", how in the hell are 18-year-olds from another part of the country with a different culture of its own supposed to be as up-to-date on New England Greek life when they apply and accept to the school??? Long-term campus visits during the school year are not an option. And even if they were, the rumors and stereotypes are even more jumbled for an out-of-town freshman, then for someone who was born and bred in the area where they go to college.

Let's have a little mercy on the frosh who may be dazed and confused by the rush process, esp if they're out-of-towners. IMHO, there is always room for improvement when it comes to educating new students about rush and each GLO.

Just my $4.36 from an active college alumna....

Adrienne (PNAM 2003)

KillarneyRose · #**102** 02-05-2003, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Megerts
That's awesome that you got to go to all the parties and really experience what the sororities were like before rush, but what about those girls who don't live near the school of their choice? Maybe I was totally off, but you seemed to give the impression of "Hey, I went and did all this work, don't expect me to feel sorry for you"...

So basically I think that's a horrible thing to say...

I'm really sorry if you (or anyone else who's read my post) got the wrong impression! 33Girl is right; I was only saying that I felt I had an advantage over girls who came to Pitt from out of town.

I do feel sorry for PNMs who basically get lost in the rush numbers and I wish that everyone had the opportunity to do what I did. But I think that is the same with everyone who goes to school in their hometown. Rush can be such a brutal experience, and it makes me sad that some awesome women are cut because the active members don't get the opportunity to know the "real" person.

XOMichelle · #**103** 04-25-2003, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by carnation
AND THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO POINT OUT!!!! It's awful when we say that and then some kid ends up with "that" house and her self-esteem is shot to hell because she thinks that if we wise folks on GC (or her counselor) said it, it must be true.

Sometimes the people who would never think of joining a house, because they are "that house" actually ARE a good fit, they just can't see themselves loosing the popularity contest. Also they think they have to be like everyone in the group to have it be a good fit.

I mean, if you can find people you like there in a group, why not??? One thing i have learned from my sorority experience, is that college is only 4 years of your life. Sometimes it is what happens after that matters.

texas*princess · #**104** 04-25-2003, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cream
Oh, the skanks. They were pretty popular when I was in school. Just kidding! lol!

lol Cream you crack me up!

James · #**105** 04-25-2003, 08:15 PM

This is wise . .

Quote:

Posted by Justamom
One last point, and perhaps this belongs on a different thread, but I think it's important.
Many actives will say if you get cut, it isn't personal. Then you hear others say keep an open mind, and some get rather upset if a girl seem determined to go after certain houses. Well..........it IS
personal from the PNMs perspective. Just like we advise the PNMs,
perhaps some of the houses should consider that THEY shouldn't take it personally if someone cuts THEM. From THAT perspective, do all the houses really end up with the girls who belong there? Just food or thought.