Rush - What to NOT do or say - Page 7

KSUViolet06 · #91 08-01-2005, 12:47 PM

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KerriMarie · #92 08-03-2005, 07:48 AM

Don't ask your rushee what kind of car she drives.

This actually happened to me! We were talking about on-campus parking, and what a pain it is, and yadda yadda... and suddenly, the girl I'm talking to asks what kind of car I drive. So I tell her that I drive a silver 1989 Volvo 240 station wagon. Affectionately referred to as "the tank" or "the brick." I miss that car.

MissBehaves · #93 08-05-2005, 12:30 PM

DON'T stare but DO make eye contact! This applies equally to actives and PNMs. I remember as a PNM there was one house where the girls tended to stare a bit too much. I felt like a specimen in a lab or something and it made me really uncomfortable.

DON'T slouch. It can indicate low self esteem, and besides everyone looks thinner with good posture.

KSUViolet06 · #94 08-05-2005, 09:29 PM

*Saying anything like "OMG I so HATE this chapter." or "Well, I can't WAIT to leave here..." (while AT a party) in my opinion is RUDE. Chapters (whether 10 or 200 girls, house or shack) spend COUNTLESS hours preparing for these parties so think about that when you're at the end of your day and at a house you don't particularly care for. If it helps, put the shoe on the other foot. You'd feel like crap if your rusher said, "Wow, I sure don't like you and can't wait til this round ends."

OtterXO · #95 08-05-2005, 09:39 PM

On that note also don't perpetuate rumors you may have heard about that chapter. For example "I heard your chapter always hangs out with the ____ fraternity, is that true?" sounds ridiculous and immature.
Also, refrain from dropping names of guys in fraternities that you know or talking about your boyfriend who just happens to be in a house. It sounds like the only reason you want to be in a chapter is for hooking up. A girl came through at my school and put as one of her ACTIVITIES: "hang out with and am currently dating a Pike" and proceeded to talk about him the whole party... needless to say she was released early.

Basically avoid talking about: alcohol, fraternity guys you've hooked up with, fraternity guys you want to hook up with.

Just my 2 cents

KSUViolet06 · #96 08-05-2005, 10:24 PM

Don't say, "Oh my gosh, ME TOO!" to everything a sister comments about. Be YOU.

KSUViolet06 · #97 08-06-2005, 12:40 AM

*DO NOT THINK THAT BADMOUTHING ONE CHAPTER IS GOING TO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD TO THE OTHERS. It won't. It just makes you look like a TACKY GOSSIP. There was a girl who came through this past recruitment (2004) and I guess she didn't like a particular house. She made no secret of it.

Well I happened to rush her during 2nd party. Here's how the convo went:

Me: Hi Patty (fake name), welcome back to Sigma. How are you today?

Patty: I just came from AB and their craft sucked really bad, they made us do this stupid thing. I hope I don't go back there tomorrow. They're all catty and fake.

Me: So, what did you do last night?

I just changed the subject really quickly, but there were alot of my sisters and girls from other chapters who said she did the SAME thing at their party.

She thought trashtalking AB was going to work to her advantage, but it backfired. She got cross cut. Moral of the story- just don't talk about other houses at other houses parties.

OtterXO · #98 08-06-2005, 04:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JocelynC
*DO NOT THINK THAT BADMOUTHING ONE CHAPTER IS GOING TO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD TO THE OTHERS. It won't. It just makes you look like a TACKY GOSSIP. There was a girl who came through this past recruitment (2004) and I guess she didn't like a particular house (which if you go to Kent you know this is one of the top groups, good girls and everything). She made no secret of it.

Well I happened to rush her during 2nd party. Here's how the convo went:

Me: Hi Patty (fake name), welcome back to Sigma. How are you today?

Patty: I just came from AB and their craft sucked really bad, they made us do this stupid thing. I hope I don't go back there tomorrow. They're all catty and fake.

Me: So, what did you do last night?

I just changed the subject really quickly, but there were alot of my sisters and girls from other chapters who said she did the SAME thing at their party.

She thought trashtalking AB was going to work to her advantage, but it backfired. She got cross cut. Moral of the story- just don't talk about other houses at other houses parties.

To add to this, don't ask: "what are the best houses here?" or "so i heard you are the top house here, is that true?". The answer to any of this type of question will be a quick change of subject and likely a release from the house.

KSUViolet06 · #99 08-06-2005, 09:35 AM

*Don't rush to join the TOP GROUP. This isn't the Olympics. Rush to join the group YOU click with. If the house you love just happens to be one of the top, then great. But if you KNOW you only keep going back just to say, "How cool am I? I got invited back to XYZ!" and really don't like them, then you're doing yourself a disservice.

*On that same token, DO NOT CUT GROUPS JUST BECAUSE ALL YOUR FRIENDS/ GIRLS IN YOUR RUSH GROUP DO. If you cut just to follow your friends, you may end up somewhere that doesn't fit YOU because you were so worried about being with your friends.

*While we all love a good joke sometimes, RUSH IS NOT THE PLACE FOR EVERY JOKE YOU KNOW. We are trying to get to know you, and constantly spouting bad jokes doesn't help.

KSUViolet06 · #**100** 08-06-2005, 02:07 PM

*On that same note, KNOW YOUR RIGHTS as a PNM. You do have the right to be treated fairly, not be pressured or coerced, and make informed choices on your own. If ANYONE (be it a sister or conselor) violates your rights, let someone know.

*Chew with your MOUTH CLOSED.

*SPEAK UP. It gets loud at rush parties and alot of times, the rusher might not be able to hear you.

Indie_Superstar · #**101** 08-06-2005, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JocelynC
*DO NOT THINK THAT BADMOUTHING ONE CHAPTER IS GOING TO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD TO THE OTHERS. It won't. It just makes you look like a TACKY GOSSIP. There was a girl who came through this past recruitment (2004) and I guess she didn't like a particular house (which if you go to Kent you know this is one of the top groups, good girls and everything). She made no secret of it.

Well I happened to rush her during 2nd party. Here's how the convo went:

Me: Hi Patty (fake name), welcome back to Sigma. How are you today?

Patty: I just came from AB and their craft sucked really bad, they made us do this stupid thing. I hope I don't go back there tomorrow. They're all catty and fake.

Me: So, what did you do last night?

I just changed the subject really quickly, but there were alot of my sisters and girls from other chapters who said she did the SAME thing at their party.

She thought trashtalking AB was going to work to her advantage, but it backfired. She got cross cut. Moral of the story- just don't talk about other houses at other houses parties.

This doesn't really apply to me, because I'm not looking to join a sorority (I've gotten involved in other activities, but a lot of my friends are Greek), but what if Patty had said "I just came from the AB house, and their craft was really fun and cute, and the girls were really nice. But I'm having lots of fun at Sigma, and I think you girls are really nice too?" Would that have been okay, or could it have been construed as either favouring AB over Sigma, or just sucking up?

OtterXO · #**102** 08-06-2005, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Indie_Superstar
This doesn't really apply to me, because I'm not looking to join a sorority (I've gotten involved in other activities, but a lot of my friends are Greek), but what if Patty had said "I just came from the AB house, and their craft was really fun and cute, and the girls were really nice. But I'm having lots of fun at Sigma, and I think you girls are really nice too?" Would that have been okay, or could it have been construed as either favouring AB over Sigma, or just sucking up?

I would say that you should refrain from saying anything specific about any chapter except if you want to compliment the chapter at their own party. Generally saying "everyone has been so nice!" or "all the girls in all the houses seem great!" or something equally as generic is fine, but you don't want to give the impression of being a gossip.

Also a big effect this can have is that the chapter may think that the rushee is psyched for the other house and release her because of that.

I would suggest treating rush like a job interview somewhat. You wouldn't walk into an interview and say "actually I already went to X Corp. and I really had a great interview!" You would pretty much be shooting yourself in the foot if you said that. Likewise, talking a bunch of sugar about another house may seem nice but it will just seem like you're stoked on the other house. You want to have the decision to be yours so put your best foot forward and make a good impression at every house.

Sidenote: I really hope this thread doesn't terrify PNMs!

KSUViolet06 · #**103** 08-06-2005, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Indie_Superstar
This doesn't really apply to me, because I'm not looking to join a sorority (I've gotten involved in other activities, but a lot of my friends are Greek), but what if Patty had said "I just came from the AB house, and their craft was really fun and cute, and the girls were really nice. But I'm having lots of fun at Sigma, and I think you girls are really nice too?" Would that have been okay, or could it have been construed as either favouring AB over Sigma, or just sucking up?

That's fine to me. I would simply say thanks and smile at that, then change the subject. I generally try to steer clear of discussig other chapters period.

OtterXO · #**104** 08-07-2005, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Carried Away
LOL.. it's a little frightening but it's been VERY helpful! A big THANK YOU to everyone for all the advice!

I thought it might be...lol. But if it's helpful too then that's good!

KSUViolet06 · #**105** 08-07-2005, 11:23 AM

Some in-house etiquette:

*If you're at a house during a round where food is served, and they happen to offer you something that you don't particularly care for, a simple "No thank you" is fine. Or you could just accept it and not eat it. But there's no need for, "Eww quiche!" or "Oh gross, I HATE carrots!" This isn't first grade.

*It's okay if you accidentally spill/drop something on the floor/couch/etc. Don't make a big scene or a big deal out of it. It happens all the time. A sister will most likely take care of it.

* If you're on a house tour, take care not to break anything. This can be prevented by NOT TOUCHING/PICKING UP things without asking.

*A good rule of thumb is to just act as a guest in their home. That's what you are. You wouldn't go to a friend's house and damage/steal things. These girls are opening up their homes to you, so respect their property.