Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?" - Page 6

KSUViolet06 · #1 08-28-2008, 06:04 PM

I forgot this gem from the weekend:

I ran into a girl I went to HS with at the grocery store (age 24). She is getting married in a week. She asked me if I was married and I said no, and she said "That's a shame."

I ignored that and asked her what she was up to lately, and her response was "Oh we both are still at WalMart."

She asked me what I was up to and I told her (grad school). She said "Oh wow that's great, I didn't really wanna go to college, I felt like it wasn't something I needed to be successful in life."

She went on to tell me that they are living with his mom right now, because they put an offer on a house but "isn't sure why but they turned it down." I tried to sound concerned like "Wow that's a shame." She was like "OMG we were soo upset, I mean we both have great part time jobs I don't know what happened."

Then she ends the convo with "Oh I forgot to tell you, we're having a baby, so you should give me your address for shower invites. I'm soo excited, that's the thing we both want more than anything!"

AOII_LB93 · #2 08-29-2008, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I have this theory that it's because they've gotten to the point that they've settled into a life CONSUMED with parenting responsibilities that leaves no time for themselves (or each other). They're getting to that point where they've let themselves go and only care about their kids. Their marriages are no longer fulfilling and they're miserable.

So they want every other married couple they know to get to that point to because they can't stand seeing them childless, happy, and still concerned with things other than diapers, dishes, and dinner.

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Hey, I'm always concerned with what's for dinner, if it was up to my husband it would be hot dogs, steak, or spaghetti.

I agree. I want children, but just not now. What is so wrong with this concept, people? So what if I'm 32. I'll be having one by 35, so STHU. I'm going to hate going back to work on Tuesday for this particular reason. Two women are pregnant and both got married after me, so all the old hens in the staff lounge as well as the new moms are all going to gang up on me. I've been getting it for a few years now. "When are you going to have kids? You should just have them? Why isn't your husband ready for them yet?"

What business is it of anyone's? I think my new response may become, "Why? Did you start a college fund for my future progeny?" or "We practice daily, but we're enjoying the practice a little too much to stop just yet."

aephi alum · #3 08-28-2008, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

It sounds like the pressure to reproduce is even crazier than the pressure to get married. Why do people want everyone around them to have kids?

Misery loves company?

Sorry, I've got my snark on tonight.

But seriously - whether to have children, how many to have, whether to adopt, whether to abort an unwanted pregnancy or see it through, whether to pursue IVF, whether to pursue permanent sterilization, etc. is nobody's business but the individual's / couple's. And whether / when to get married is up to the couple in question, and no one should get married just for the sake of being married.

nikki1920 · #4 08-30-2008, 04:30 PM

I vote for the second response.

Or you could just ask them when they will be available to babysit. Or just ignore them until they get the point that you don't want to talk about it.

kchaptergphib · #5 09-08-2008, 02:38 AM

I'm one of those girls who's almost always single, and I usually tell people it's because I see so many shitty (sorry, but it's true) relationships I'm like, "Really? You mean, I could have a crappy boyfriend, too? Wow! NO THANK YOU." It's just disgusting what some guys (or girls) get away with. I'm still boycrazy, but not boy-certifiably-insane to date someone that isn't good to me.

And as far as the kids go, I just see so many IDIOTS breeding little idiots. And I'm happy living for myself right now. I don't need kids (and, again, not in a relationship, so not gonna have a kid on my own...)

Okay, I've been Negative Nelly enough for tonight. I do like kids, and would love to find that right guy for me, but HONESTLY! I see so many nutters getting married and having nutter kids, it's kind of off-putting!

christiangirl · #6 09-08-2008, 04:24 AM

I went to a baby shower today...for a girl who has been married, divorced, and now has gotten pregnant by a married man on purpose because she "really wants a baby."

And she's 21.

AOII_LB93 · #7 09-09-2008, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

I went to a baby shower today...for a girl who has been married, divorced, and now has gotten pregnant by a married man on purpose because she "really wants a baby."

And she's 21.

WTH is wrong with her? and in that respect WTH is wrong with women who go for married men? Yes I realize men are dogs, yadda yadda, but when someone finds out he's married, why not just cut the strings and bail? That is just shady.

We've reached a new low here...one of my students asked me today when I was going to have kids. Granted she's 14, and has no tact, but still...

She seemed horrified that at 32 I didn't have kids yet. Who's next? We got it all day Saturday at my husband's grandma's 80th b-day too, along with an aunt who made the snide remark, "Well since we weren't invited to the wedding..." which my husband cut off with, "You were invited, you just chose not to come." That stopped the BS.

Yay husband!

nikki1920 · #8 09-08-2008, 08:36 AM

I feel sorry for that child. The unborn baby, not your friend.

agzg · #9 09-09-2008, 09:03 AM

This is awesome. My boyfriend and I moved in together LAST WEEK and I've already gotten several questions from friends/family along the lines of "are you guys engaged yet?"

Um. No. We just moved in, LAST WEEK. Nine hours away from home for me. I don't have a job yet, and I have no friends here. Are you cracked? Give me a chance to unpack all my boxes first!

christiangirl · #10 09-09-2008, 01:58 PM

^^^They're probably asking if you moved in together because you're engaged, not the other way around.

agzg · #11 09-09-2008, 02:21 PM

Some, yes. Others probably just don't approve of living with someone when you're not married. My take on it is... fine I can get my own place but those who don't approve of living with someone can pay half my rent!

christiangirl · #12 09-10-2008, 12:55 AM

(Back when I thought 20 was old) I used to want to be married at 22 with my first child at 24.

BUMP THAT, life is too fun right now! Between my classes, job, volunteer work, and figure skating, I'm too busy for a fish let alone a family.

epchick · #13 09-10-2008, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by christiangirl

(Back when I thought 20 was old) I used to want to be married at 22 with my first child at 24.

BUMP THAT, life is too fun right now! Between my classes, job, volunteer work, and figure skating, I'm too busy for a fish let alone a family.

Haha sounds like me! lol When I was younger (maybe around 12-13), I was POSITIVE that I was going to get married at 20, and have a baby by 21. I figured that was old enough (because I did want to be a young mother, just not a teen one) and I would be ready for a baby. Ummm...yeah, no! lol.

LightBulb · #14 11-15-2008, 09:36 PM

"Hey! Single-malt scotch! You're thirty years old! When are you gonna settle down and get married.. to my stomach?" -- Stephen Colbert

XOMichelle · #15 11-15-2008, 11:04 PM

My divorced parents are starting to ask me if they think my 25 year-old sister is going to marry her boyfriend of 3 years. They independently ask my sister if she thinks I will marry my boyfriend of 2 (I'm 28). They don't ask us directly, they ask the other sister. It's a riot!