depledging - Page 6

33girl · #1 09-15-2005, 03:03 PM

Well, you said make suggestions, those are my suggestions, Pollyanna as they may be. If it's a Panhellenic effort, it should be "well if you blow off XYZ you can't mix with ABC."

I've seen women do the same thing to the guys. It should go both ways. It's a mixer people!! It's not like you're going to be matched with someone and have to marry them 2 hours later. God, if you can't learn how to spend a few hours with somone other than the perfect man/woman, you have issues beyond whatever damn tier your sorority is in.

valkyrie · #2 09-15-2005, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
I've seen women do the same thing to the guys. It should go both ways. It's a mixer people!! It's not like you're going to be matched with someone and have to marry them 2 hours later. God, if you can't learn how to spend a few hours with somone other than the perfect man/woman, you have issues beyond whatever damn tier your sorority is in.

True dat.

I never understood the whole mixing with fraternities thing -- I mean, it's not hard to meet guys, well, ANYWHERE when you are in college, so who cares if you're mixing with fraternities or whether you're mixing with the "top" fraternities or whatever.

kddani · #3 09-15-2005, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
True dat.

I never understood the whole mixing with fraternities thing -- I mean, it's not hard to meet guys, well, ANYWHERE when you are in college, so who cares if you're mixing with fraternities or whether you're mixing with the "top" fraternities or whatever.

And truth be told, I think we had more fun with the non-top fraternities. We trusted them more, became friends with them, and knew that they weren't going to be skeezy with us. They were happy to hang out with us and made an effort to show us a good time. Unlike many of the top fraternities who thought their mere presence was enough

AlphaFrog · #4 09-15-2005, 03:11 PM

I was under the impression that the whole point of mixers was for your sorority to hang out with XYZ fraternity...not a giant combination blind date/speed dating. If that's what your looking for, MTV has shows for that.

amycat412 · #5 09-15-2005, 03:16 PM

Everyone has a point, a good one. But USC is USC and it is its own particular beast.

It is true that the non top fraternities are nicer guys and make better friends. That was my experience at SC as well

It is true that what you will remember when you are out of school is the time spent with your sisters, not the date parties and exchanges.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #6 09-15-2005, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani
And truth be told, I think we had more fun with the non-top fraternities. We trusted them more, became friends with them, and knew that they weren't going to be skeezy with us. They were happy to hang out with us and made an effort to show us a good time. Unlike many of the top fraternities who thought their mere presence was enough

Yep, that was my experience too. And that fraternity still holds a place in my heart...........

sugar and spice · #7 09-15-2005, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by amycat412
Everyone has a point, a good one. But USC is USC and it is its own particular beast.

It is true that the non top fraternities are nicer guys and make better friends. That was my experience at SC as well

It is true that what you will remember when you are out of school is the time spent with your sisters, not the date parties and exchanges.

I'll say it if you won't.

Some people in this thread are being extremely judgmental about a system they don't seem to understand much about. If YOUR purpose for going to fraternity mixers was "hanging out," that's fine. But your experience is not everyone's. There are plenty of people who do want to meet attractive single men at fraternity mixers and there is nothing wrong with that. Not everyone joins a sorority for the sisterhood, philanthropy and academics (and that's absolutely fine, as long as they are still actively participating in sisterhood, philanthropy and academics).

A number of you went to schools where I'm guessing the average fraternity size was on par with, or not too much smaller than the average fraternity. At many of the larger schools, if a fraternity is not "top tier" it will be significantly smaller than any of the sororities. At my school (which is not even as bad as USC), if you were talking about any fraternity below the "top" 1/3, you're talking about 35-40 guys, tops, for 80-120 women. While the guys may like those odds, you're not going to meet too many "great guys" if three of your sisters are talking to him first.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #8 09-15-2005, 03:33 PM

Ok, I just looked at the websites for 6 of the NPC groups (the others don't have USC sites) and they are phenomenal. I'd take any of them (and probably the others too since I'm guessing they're the same)

This will sound very harsh and I don't care.

I have no sympathy for the OP. If you don't like your group, drop and let someone else who wants to be there have your spot. Otherwise, get over yourself.

amycat412 · #9 09-15-2005, 03:37 PM

"looking phenomenal" on a website and having the reputation in the social scene at USC to go with it are two ENTIRELY different things. And that is what is not getting across here.

I do understand what the OP is going through and her concerns are legitimate given the climate of the greek scene at USC.

valkyrie · #10 09-15-2005, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
Ok, I just looked at the websites for 6 of the NPC groups (the others don't have USC sites) and they are phenomenal. I'd take any of them (and probably the others too since I'm guessing they're the same)

This will sound very harsh and I don't care.

I have no sympathy for the OP. If you don't like your group, drop and let someone else who wants to be there have your spot. Otherwise, get over yourself.

It's impossible to know what it's like to be in a chapter by looking at the website.

adpiucf · #11 09-15-2005, 03:46 PM

I agree with Amy. Web sites don't tell you anything about a chapter and the culture of the campus. As I stated to the poster, if you make an effort and it doesn't click, get out before initiation so if you want to try again later (which I don't advise, but cover your butt anyway) the option is still there. It sounds to me as though she has taken our comments to heart and is going to give it another go.

And if she pledged the chapter I think she pledged, she did join a chapter with a great sisterhood that's had to distance itself from an old and unfounded repuation. I wish her the best with her efforts to get involved and to "find the sisterhood"-- clearly they saw something very special in her. I hope she's able to find the same within their sisterhood.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #12 09-15-2005, 03:53 PM

Yes, but these websites do tell you the social functions they've had and have pictures of the guys who've been there which the OP has said is important to her.

33girl · #13 09-15-2005, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by amycat412
I do understand what the OP is going through and her concerns are legitimate given the climate of the greek scene at USC.

Amy, I apologize because I do feel like we're ripping on USC and that's not what I'm trying to do. We had another thread about a school that's got a similar social situation and everyone was quite understanding after it was explained.

My gripe is that the OP originally made it out to be a situation where she wasn't feeling comfy with the sisters or like part of things - so we all were supportive and wanted to help her with that. Then the truth comes out and she says it's because of the lack o' socializing with her chapter.

And after that revelation, I echo SBGPB and say, if you don't like where you are, drop and let someone else who will enjoy herself have the spot.

KSUViolet06 · #14 09-15-2005, 04:02 PM

Social events do have a role in chapter popularity here at Kent, though not a really huge one. One issue is that the fraternities ASK the sororities to mix with them. Whether or not your chapter has mixers with guys really depends on whether a fraternity approaches your social chair during the year and asks. The average chapter I'd say gets invited to do a mixer/social like three times a year.

amycat412 · #15 09-15-2005, 04:02 PM

Thank you Sheila.

As for the OP, I think her issue is probably both not feeling comfortable (YET) with her sisters. Its been 3 weeks. And if other houses new member classes are having more social opportunities than they are--well that could have forced issue #2 to the front.