Do you want kids?

[A Random DphiE]

i want to adopt more than anything in the world!

( preferrably multiple siblings )

i have a feeling this is one of my life's "purposes"...

( but this will have to wait 'till sometime after gradschool )

yea i'm weird like that.

[Indie_Superstar]

Rose, I completely understand how you feel....not about having kids specifically, but I've had some "friends" in the past who've tried to pressure me into putting a ton of time and effort into my hair, make-up, clothes, etc., so that boys will like me. They never seemed to understand that I'm just not interested in dating, and I don't know if I ever will be. Fortunately, though, in the later years of high school and my first two years of university, I've made some awesome friends who like me for me. But that lady was really rude to butt in like that. She's right that there's nothing wrong with having kids, IF you want them....but there's something wrong with constantly shoving your beliefs down people's throats. I think it's far worse to have kids when you don't want them, just because you think it's "the thing to do," than to do the mature thing, realize you'd be happier without kids, so you don't end up bringing children into a family situation where they're not really loved or wanted.

[aggieAXO]

My mother was on the phone tonight with her physician's partner. Mom proceeded to ask the Dr. if she had kids (if so my mother was going to wish her a happy mother's day). The Dr. said no, she did not have any children. My mother then said, "well someday you will." I was livid. I explained to her that some women don't want children (or maybe can't have them) and a comment like that is inappropriate.

[Glitter650]

So many people don't think for themselves and just go along with what society tells them they need to be happy (marriage, picket fence, and the 2.5). More people need to start thinking, hey maybe children don't HAVE to be in my future, and that's alright, becuase I know A LOT of people that NEVER should've had children.
I also spent a summer at a camp that proves just because you are financially able to suport a child doesn't mean you should have children either.

[tri-d]

Well I just had my first, a daughter on Christmas Eve 2004. I can tell you, that I hated being pregnant--and I had the world's easiest pregnancy. Labor was a cake walk as well, and she is the greatest miracle I have witnessed. But I am still up in the air as to whether we will have any more kids. It's funny, but before she came, I thought oh for sure I will keep working and all that, but once she was born, I didn't feel the same way. I took a semester off of teaching and now am going to go back only parttime.

I love being a mom, but it is a huge sacrifice and I commend those who know they don't want kids and don't have them--there are too many people in this country that seem to have kids because it is what is expected of them. But these same people aren't ready for everything that a child entails and that is why, IMO, that we have so many kids with so many problems.

[texas*princess]

I don't think there's anything at all wrong about not wanting kids. At this point in my life all I want is a puppy

That soccor mom is a great example of people that I don't like. I mean, if she LOVES kids and has 15 of them, is the soccor mom, takes her kids to ballet practice, band practice, soccor practice, and still has time in her life for herself, her husband, and the PTA, good for her! She's getting what she wants in life, right? But there's nothing wrong with you or anyone else who doesn't want that life for themselves and that lady has no reason to get all defensive.

Personally for me, I think I may want kids eventually... but not at all anytime soon. No more than 2. I grew up in a family with 3 siblings and while it was crazy sometimes, it was a lot of fun growing up... and even now when I want to talk about something, but not really to my friends, I know I can always talk to my sisters or even my brother to get a guy's perspective So that is the reason I would want 2 if I ever decided I really did want kids in the future.

If I had kids, I would definitely want them sometime within the next decade maybe... because personally, I wouldn't want to be like 70 when the kids are graduating kindergarten.

[Dionysus]

I'm not crazy about having kids. I don't find child labor and cleaning up kiddie puke at 4 a.m. attractive at all. But...more than likely it will work to my advantage in the long run. When you get older the people who you used to take care of you often die or get sick, like your parents. I'm female, and wives often out live husbands. I don't want to become that lonely old woman with 81 cats (any watched Oprah yesterday?). Too make it short, your children (and sometimes grandchildren) will likely be there for you more than anyone else. My mom takes care of her mother, and my dad takes care of his mother. No one else is really there for either of my grandmothers, except for my parents. I also don't want to put a lot of burden all on one kid (like my grandma did to my mom), so I think I will want more than one child. This sounds selfish, but this is the reality for a lot of old folks.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by aggieAXO
My mother then said, "well someday you will." I was livid. I explained to her that some women don't want children (or maybe can't have them) and a comment like that is inappropriate.

I agree. Comments like this really get under my skin, especially when they're coming from older ladies who think they're the ones who know what I want and what's best for me. I don't want kids. I don't like kids. Not everyone thinks like me, and that's a good thing because if they did the world's population would seriously be dwindling right now, but people should also realize that it's not safe to assume that every girl will want children in the future. That's why I hate family reunions...you always hear at least once, "Well, when you have kids one day, you'll understand."

[blueGBI]

I've always wanted to have children. I hope to have maybe 3-4 when I'm married but thats not going to happen anytime soon. I also would like to adopt an older child or be a foster mom if the man I marry would be cool with that.

I do understand why some people don't want to have children. I grew up with a father that even though he's married to my mom and he's been around all my life, he never ever wanted to have my brother and I. I don't wish the sadness and all of the other issues that come with knowing that one of your parents wishes that you were never born. My mom tried to make up for it with extra love and gifts and stuff but its not the same. Its better to not have kids than to have kids that you don't want.

[texas*princess]

Originally posted by Dionysus
I also don't want to put a lot of burden all on one kid (like my grandma did to my mom), so I think I will want more than one child. This sounds selfish, but this is the reality for a lot of old folks.

You're totally right.. it is the reality for a lot of old folks, which is honestly why I don't understand 50-60-something just *starting* to have kids.

I can understand their desire for a child, but sometimes I think that they might not realize what kind of burden it would put on their kids (at such a young age) when they fall ill as they age further. But I guess that is a topic for another thread, another day.

[Glitter650]

Originally posted by tri-d
Well I just had my first, a daughter on Christmas Eve 2004. that is why, IMO, that we have so many kids with so many problems.

Well if astrology/ your date of birth has anything to do with how you turn out, then your daughter will be perfect, just like me, as I was born on CHristmas eve too, so have no fear.
I do agree with the messed up kids part though. I heard on the radio the other day about a survey which found that some large percentage of parents (don't remember the exact number) don't even really like spending time with their children.

[AOPIHottie]

When I was 18/19 I always thought I wanted to married and have a child by the time I was 22. Well, that didnt happen(I am 27 now, and divorced) All these years I wanted kids but I knew I was NOT ready-emotionally, financially- for kids. And now, my boyfriend and I are both very financially secure, we own a house, cars paid off, great jobs, very much in love and happy. We are at a place where 'society'(meaning our families ) Think we should be married and popping out the grandkiddies. But, we just dont want kids right now! I always saw myself as the 'soccer/cheerleader mom' but I dont see it now. I want a happy marraige first, then a happy family! But I agree that people who dont WANT kids should not have them, and POSSIBLY resent the kids for a long time. I agree it just contributes to the problems!

[texas*princess]

Originally posted by AOPIHottie
When I was 18/19 I always thought I wanted to married and have a child by the time I was 22. Well, that didnt happen(I am 27 now, and divorced) All these years I wanted kids but I knew I was NOT ready-emotionally, financially- for kids. And now, my boyfriend and I are both very financially secure, we own a house, cars paid off, great jobs, very much in love and happy. We are at a place where 'society'(meaning our families ) Think we should be married and popping out the grandkiddies. But, we just dont want kids right now! I always saw myself as the 'soccer/cheerleader mom' but I dont see it now. I want a happy marraige first, then a happy family! But I agree that people who dont WANT kids should not have them, and POSSIBLY resent the kids for a long time. I agree it just contributes to the problems!

I think it's awesome that you're committed to working and making sure you have a happy marriage first. Sometimes people forget that part and just go straight to popping out the kids and then there's no telling what could happen next

I have a friend who is 27 and just about to get married for the first time and the first thing on her mind (besides the wedding of course) is popping out kids. More power to her if that is what she wants.

Personally I would want some time alone w/ my husband first, but that's just me

[AOPIHottie]

Originally posted by texas*princess
I think it's awesome that you're committed to working and making sure you have a happy marriage first. Sometimes people forget that part and just go straight to popping out the kids and then there's no telling what could happen next

Personally I would want some time alone w/ my husband first, but that's just me

Thanks!!

My group from high school that I stay in touch with always wonder why "she's not married, no kids...how sad for her", they are all married to high school sweethearts, have 1-3 kids, and are almost all unhappy. Um....and my problem is????

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
I want to have children. I want to start as soon as I get married.

You'll be an amazing mom, and I'm not saying that to be nice.