Discipline: Spanking

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by epchick

THIS didn't warrant a spanking in your household? So you were allowed to talk back?

If I talked back or gave a smart-ass remark, that was an IMMEDIATE slap across the mouth.

Of course I was punished, but my parents did not spank me just for talking back. There are a million ways to discipline a child besides spanking, and I agree with them that something like talking back does not warrant a spanking.

And they never, ever slapped me across the mouth.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Of course I was punished, but my parents did not spank me just for talking back. There are a million ways to discipline a child besides spanking, and I agree with them that something like talking back does not warrant a spanking.

And they never, ever slapped me across the mouth.

ehh to each their own. If my kids talk back, they'll get a slap on the mouth too.

[Drolefille]

This falls into the "there are many ways to discipline and the vast majority are neither abusive nor going to screw a kid up for the rest of their life" category.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

This falls into the "there are many ways to discipline and the vast majority are neither abusive nor going to screw a kid up for the rest of their life" category.

To each their own.

[FleurGirl]

Brief spankings for seriously bad behavior can be effective so long as it is clearly and calmly explained to the child afterwards why they were in trouble to begin with. Using spanking excessively or overly forcefully can actually lead to an increase in behavioral problems and damage the child's relationship with the parent forever. It's not that I'm dead-set against it, but I do think it should be used with discretion. For minor misbehavior something like a time out can work better. There are several journal articles out there on this topic; it's pretty interesting.

[AGDee]

One of the key things is that you do not do it out of anger/while angry. So, when the kids are on your last nerve and it's been a long, bad day and you find yourself getting really angry, that is not the time to spank them. Socially isolate them (and you if you need to) until you are calm and then decide the best punishment.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AGDee

One of the key things is that you do not do it out of anger/while angry. So, when the kids are on your last nerve and it's been a long, bad day and you find yourself getting really angry, that is not the time to spank them. Socially isolate them (and you if you need to) until you are calm and then decide the best punishment.

I find that ANY discipline while you are REALLY upset isn't good.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I find that ANY discipline while you are REALLY upset isn't good.

I found "Go to your rooms NOW" effective when when I was really upset.

[KSUViolet06]

With little kids, you'd be surprised at how much a time-out, threat of punishment, or even a stern look does.

My g-daughters are 7 and 4. The threat of being sent upstairs or going to bed early gets them to shape up most of them time.

Me: "If you guys can't stop fighting, then you will go to bed at 7:30 with no snack."

Kids: OhmygoshAuntieViolet noooooo please don't take our snacks. We promise we'll be good.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

With little kids, you'd be surprised at how much a time-out, threat of punishment, or even a stern look does.

Oh man, THE LOOK got me every time, especially when my father did it. That may have been the reason that I never got spanked!

[IrishLake]

I've found saying "I've had a bad/sad day and I'm very angry/tired/have a headache and am not in the mood," prompts them to go find something quiet to do on their own.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

I've found saying "I've had a bad/sad day and I'm very angry/tired/have a headache and am not in the mood," prompts them to go find something quiet to do on their own.

My mom would do that when I was little and I knew that meant I'd better behave myself and would go play with my brothers instead of bother her. Granted, I was a particularly...stubborn...child, but they rarely had to spank me because I knew not to push them that far. Sending me to my room, withholding desert (sweets or treats were rare in my house so threatening to take away future deserts worked on us kids), and time out worked well. I can still remember that time out was the worst. We would have to stay in the hall where there were no toys or books without anything to do and I would get bored quickly, but attempting to flee resulted in a longer punishment. Five minutes seemed like a century.

[sanjiyan69]

My Dad's way was belts. Then again, I grew up in a traditional Chinese family where punishment is mostly getting hit. This is where my wife and I butt heads because that's not how her family operates. My mother-in-law has the "look" and my father-in-law is the lecturing type. I'm all about corporal punishment....especially seeing a lot of disrespectful kids. They need to be squished like a bug.

I do know that violence doesn't equal respect. But somehow it worked for me and a lot of people over in Asia.

[Tulip86]

I got "The look" and when my mom called me by my whole name (first and last name) I knew I was in trouble.
I never got grounded though, and never spanking. Worst I would get was a tap on the arm but even that was very very rare.

I never really got into any big trouble...

[dekeguy]

I think I had it easy. When we were very small Dad would bark NO, DON'T DO THAT and give a light swat to the butt. After we got a little older he would tell us once to stop donig what we were doing or what we had done. That was usually enough. If we didn't shap up pronto he would give us a stern look and send us to our rooms. Only once did I push the limit and repeated the offence the next day. Dad looked at me with the 'look' and said, "After yesterday you know better. I am disappointed" That was the worst thing I ever heard and it really got to me. At that age, and still today, I hero worshiped him and the thought that I had disappointed him crushed me.
I think I missed the whole episode of teenaged rebellion due to deep respect and admiration for both parents.