Dating/marrying outside your religion

[HBADPi]

Originally posted by Marie
Is this something that has happened to you personally, or are you referring to someone in the thread? If it is the latter, then who?

Does it matter?

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by HBADPi
Does it matter?

Yes.

-RC
--If you're an Internet gossip monger.

[MTSUGURL]

Wouldn't date/marry someone outside of my religion or my denomination because I believe it's important that both attend church together, and because my religion is such an integral part of who I am. I also believe that the man is to be the spiritual leader of the home, and I'm not following anyone whose beliefs are something that I don't ascribe to.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by Marie
Is this something that has happened to you personally, or are you referring to someone in the thread? If it is the latter, then who?

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
Wouldn't date/marry someone outside of my religion or my denomination because I believe it's important that both attend church together, and because my religion is such an integral part of who I am. I also believe that the man is to be the spiritual leader of the home, and I'm not following anyone whose beliefs are something that I don't ascribe to.

Why can't you both go to church together? Not that hard...

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
Wouldn't date/marry someone outside of my religion or my denomination because I believe it's important that both attend church together, and because my religion is such an integral part of who I am. I also believe that the man is to be the spiritual leader of the home, and I'm not following anyone whose beliefs are something that I don't ascribe to.

I totally agree with you. For the man to be the spiritual leader, you both need to be on the same page! (...and that is a whole 'nother thread )

[MTSUGURL]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Why can't you both go to church together? Not that hard...

If we have different religions or beliefs, we're most likely to go to different churches. I wouldn't mind switching churches if it were in my denomination, but I wouldn't switch to another one.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
If we have different religions or beliefs, we're most likely to go to different churches. I wouldn't mind switching churches if it were in my denomination, but I wouldn't switch to another one.

I'm not saying switching. I'm saying you go to early services at yours and late services at his.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Can I just say that when two people who are of different religions are making it work it is pretty freaking rude to tell them exactly why you think it won't work and the decisions they have made about it are wrong?

BECAUSE IT IS.

I agree. I think I said this before, but it's the intensity that each person in the relationship feels for his/her own religion that matters, and then the matter of how much he/she can respect the feelings of the other person.

I'm pretty hardcore about being a born-again Christian, and as I look at the few men I've dated outside my religion, they have been almost exclusively Jewish. Each has understood my need to be who I am while worshipping, and since I feel that a BA Christian is somewhat of a "completed Jew", I'm quite at home at Shul. I just could NOT keep kosher - I tried, but can't.

But if you can have that relationship with ANY two religions, that's a good thing. Again, it's the agreement between the two people involved, and not cut and dried.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by honeychile
I agree. I think I said this before, but it's the intensity that each person in the relationship feels for his/her own religion that matters, and then the matter of how much he/she can respect the feelings of the other person.

I'm pretty hardcore about being a born-again Christian, and as I look at the few men I've dated outside my religion, they have been almost exclusively Jewish. Each has understood my need to be who I am while worshipping, and since I feel that a BA Christian is somewhat of a "completed Jew", I'm quite at home at Shul. I just could NOT keep kosher - I tried, but can't.

But if you can have that relationship with ANY two religions, that's a good thing. Again, it's the agreement between the two people involved, and not cut and dried.

I don't know that I could because it would be a huge difference but I know it works for people. The thing that boggles me is the people in this thread who won't date anyone that's not their exact flavor of Christian.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I don't know that I could because it would be a huge difference but I know it works for people. The thing that boggles me is the people in this thread who won't date anyone that's not their exact flavor of Christian.

Ah, but you didn't grow up with a much older brother becoming a pastor and having you memorized large passages of the Bible in both English & Hebrew! Trust me, it's a mixed blessing!

I also had a paternal grandmother who felt that anyone who wasn't a Lutheran or Christian Scientist was on a greased slide to Hell. We didn't hit it off very well!

Seriously, my church had a very large portion of people who were Messianic Jews - and I taught the part in Sunday School which compares/completes the two.

[LeslieAGD]

Originally posted by jubilance1922
Understandable, but I'm glad that you know that not all Muslim men are that way!

Nope, I don't think any one group of people is all "one way."

[MTSUGURL]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I'm not saying switching. I'm saying you go to early services at yours and late services at his.

Because I don't just go to service, and since I want someone active in ministry, they probably won't either. I teach a class on Wednesdays, I have a Sunday school class, I work with the youth... If I had not committed to serving in ministry, it would be as simple as, "Hey, we'll go to your service at 8 and mine at 9:30."

For me, my religion isn't just a Sunday morning thing. It's an every day, from when I wake up until I go to bed relationship, and I won't marry anyone for whom that isn't true as well.

It's ok that your mind is boggled. However, this is me personally. I would not say, "Excuse me, but I think you should leave your significant other because you are a different religion and it can't possibly work," to a couple that is making it work. It's their call, not mine, just as my choice to date/marry someone only within my denomination is my call. It makes things much easier in my realtionship and my service to do so, and I don't expect most people to understand.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
For me, my religion isn't just a Sunday morning thing. It's an every day, from when I wake up until I go to bed relationship, and I won't marry anyone for whom that isn't true as well.

It's ok that your mind is boggled.

I don't know if it's intentional, but your post reeks of a smugness that implies that if somebody goes to services of her own denomination as well as those of her significant other, religion is just a "Sunday morning thing" for her.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by valkyrie
I don't know if it's intentional, but your post reeks of a smugness that implies that if somebody goes to services of her own denomination as well as those of her significant other, religion is just a "Sunday morning thing" for her.

I thought the same thing. I guess I'll have to let my boyfriend the pastor's son know that the INTERWEB RELIGION GODDESS does not deem his participation appropriately and tell the priest who presides at the Mass where I assist that I don't care about religion.

And it's a Sunday evening thing for me!