Pregnant Prospective Members?

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by AOIIsilver



Fourth, as is continually mentioned on these boards, commitment to a GLO is a lifetime commitment. The other side of that commitment coin is the GLO's responsibility to its members. That responsibility entails supporting men and women throughout their lifecycle, including growing older, getting married/having a partner (if he/she so chooses), and having children (if he/she so chooses).

Taken together, higher education students are changing, and higher education students are changing on many campuses. If GLO's wish to survive on some campuses in these times of academic/student diversification, then perhaps they had also better consider the needs of the various PNMs who will be coming to the institutions.

My academic 2 cents....
Silver

Wow, well-said! I cut some of your statements down, if that's okay.

We go on and on about how membership is a lifetime commitment, and NPC/NIC groups often receive the brunt of questioning about how we tend to be a "college thing." Well, when we're not accepting of the wide range of what someone may experience in a lifetime, we're making light of that commitment. Not everyone's life trajectory goes from Daddy's house to sorority house to husband's house--we must be more accepting of "non-traditional" life paths, because they're becoming the rule, not the exception.

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If a married woman wants to join, she has probably already weighed the pros and cons and is making the best decision for HER. You don't have the right to tell her what she should and shouldn't do, and you don't have any right to tell her what her priorities are or should be when you aren't her.

Did any of you think that maybe, just maybe ANY non-traditional member would have the seriousness of purpose to contribute to your sisterhood a little bit more than organizing the mixer with Kappa? Did anyone stop to think that she probably knows how to juggle her responsibilities and priorities a little bit better than a 19 year old? Did anyone stop to think that, at an age a little bit older than your average collegian, GPA might be a top priority and wouldn't consider joining if her grades and workload could handle it? No, probably not--because so many of the young women who posted were more concerned about how it "looks" to have a married or pregnant prospective member, and what other people would "think."

Women have been juggling marriage and academia for decades now, with a considerable degree of success.

[mommag2]

Originally posted by Munchkin03


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If a married woman wants to join, she has probably already weighed the pros and cons and is making the best decision for HER. You don't have the right to tell her what she should and shouldn't do, and you don't have any right to tell her what her priorities are or should be when you aren't her.

Did any of you think that maybe, just maybe ANY non-traditional member would have the seriousness of purpose to contribute to your sisterhood a little bit more than organizing the mixer with Kappa? Did anyone stop to think that she probably knows how to juggle her responsibilities and priorities a little bit better than a 19 year old? Did anyone stop to think that, at an age a little bit older than your average collegian, GPA might be a top priority and wouldn't consider joining if her grades and workload could handle it? No, probably not--because so many of the young women who posted were more concerned about how it "looks" to have a married or pregnant prospective member, and what other people would "think."

Women have been juggling marriage and academia for decades now, with a considerable degree of success.

Thank You for your post.

You are so right when you say that most of the post have been about how it "would look" and "what would be said about XYZ" if theyhad a married/mommy/pregnant PNM/NM/Sister in their group. It is so true when you say that most older/married/mommy's would be more concerned about gpa's then a party with MNO, I know I am.

Having a Non-Traditional student in a sorority can be such a positive experience. She would bring a different perspective and ideas to the group concerning various issues.

Another thing Non-Traditional students are growing in numbers and some wonderful ladies out there right now are going back to school and some will be rushing in the Fall. So please keep an open mind and don't just cut someone because they are older or have a child, or are married. If you do you just might be MISSING OUT on ONE HECK OF A SISTER.

I'm GLAD mine didn't.

[Bama_Alumna]

Did anyone stop to think that she probably knows how to juggle her responsibilities and priorities a little bit better than a 19 year old?

Frankly, and I know I'll get flamed for this... I think that if she got pregnant in the first place, she probably wasn't being responsible with birth control. But I think that you and I are on two different wavelengths in this thread anyway. When I see the phrase "a pregnant PNM" I envision a 17 or 18-year-old freshman, because those are the PNMs at my school. Yes, there are the occasional sophomores or juniors, but by and large we are talking about girls straight out of high school. And if one of them is pregnant, rush should be the last thing on her mind, and it certainly shouldn't be a top priority.

I would be highly suspect of any pregnant or even married woman who wanted to join the collegians for Tuesday and Thursday night swaps, weekend parties, study hall hours, weekly chapter meetings, etc. I would also be suspicious of a twenty-five year old who wanted to join a sorority here, because there is such an enormous age difference. I am under 30, and I can't imagine wanting to go to a fraternity house with a bunch of 18 year olds, even if they are my sorority sisters!

I also think that any of you can do anything anyway you want to on your particular campus. At my campus, it ain't happening. Maybe in the future, but right now? No. The houses at Bama aren't "recruiting" members into our sororities, the PNMs are coming to them. This year, my house will have far more legacies going through rush than they could possibly accept. These girls' mothers, sisters, & grandmothers, who are alumnae...most even alumnae from my chapter, are breathing down our actives' necks. If my chapter gave Suzy Pregnancy a bid instead of one of them, they would have a lot of explaining to do. It would greatly hurt the chapter's relationship with alums, and would more than likely hurt numbers in future recruitments. Which would hurt the alum relations even more...which would lead to a decrease in funds... it's a downward spiral. So, there is a lot more here than meets the eye. And you can say all you want that "that's not the way it should be." That is the reality our chapters are dealing with. And I think it will continue to be like this as long as there are hundreds of women competing for a bid.

[deuika]

Originally posted by Bama_Alumna
I think that if she got pregnant in the first place, she probably wasn't being responsible

Wellllllllllllllllllllll!!!!!
My thoughts exactly.

[Munchkin03]

Well, let's just say sometimes I get down on my knees and thank G-d that the world is larger than the University of Alabama's NPC Greek System.

When I said that, I was referring more to married and older students.

[justamom]

OK-I'm bored and have seen this thread for several days.
Maybe it's small minded-small town call it the South-

I can NOT believe this is even a topic for discussion.

.......and ALL that statement implies!

[XOMichelle]

I'm getting tired of this discussion as well... I am open minded, and that's about all I can say about that.

I've enjoyed playing the liberal though, can I spin again?

[justamom]

head on over to moe.run's thread about driving in a car!!!!!!

"I thought it only happened in pornos"
Ala-Chit Chat!

[IheartAphi]

I agree with Bama- Except I feel parents and friends need to do a much better job educating people about proper protection and people that can't remember to take a pill everday should use other methods of prescription contraception.

I also agree that pregnant PNM really should really think hard about rushing. They really should hide it if they really want a fair shot at a bid. If they are going to raise the baby, greek life is not in their best interest.

[James]

After the posts in this thread, I don't want to hear word one about how The new book Pledged may present sororities in a superficial and judgemental light lol.

Thanks.

[James]

Would you ladies make exceptions for special cases?

Let me make it easy for you. Amy graduates high school and gets raped, not date raped, but raped. She gets pregnant and being conservative like a lot of yall decides to keep it.

She is just one of those Dahlin' girls, future junior leaguer and all, all the high school activities you could want, and a great GPA.

And added plus, Amy is wealthy. I mean wealthy. She could buy your house and everyone in it, or her parents could but they dote on her so it amounts to the same thing.

She wants to Rush because she is a psychologically healthy girl that has recovered emotionally from her rape, and understands that she is going to be a mom but doesn't see why she can't make a relatively normal life, especially with the enormous financial resources she has available.

Now she could lie, cause she is not showing, but decides not to . . . and yall here the real story through that wierd southern sorority connection yall have.

So . .. Does Amy get a fair shake? Or is she a ruined woman forever?

[TSteven]

Originally posted by James
. . . and yall here the real story through that wierd southern sorority connection yall have.

Too Funny.

FYI. It's not just the sororities in the south that have that weird Southern connection thing going on.

[NutBrnHair]

Originally posted by James
Would you ladies make exceptions for special cases?

Let me make it easy for you. Amy graduates high school and gets raped, not date raped, but raped. She gets pregnant and being conservative like a lot of yall decides to keep it.

She is just one of those Dahlin' girls, future junior leaguer and all, all the high school activities you could want, and a great GPA.

And added plus, Amy is wealthy. I mean wealthy. She could buy your house and everyone in it, or her parents could but they dote on her so it amounts to the same thing.

She wants to Rush because she is a psychologically healthy girl that has recovered emotionally from her rape, and understands that she is going to be a mom but doesn't see why she can't make a relatively normal life, especially with the enormous financial resources she has available.

Now she could lie, cause she is not showing, but decides not to . . . and yall here the real story through that wierd southern sorority connection yall have.

So . .. Does Amy get a fair shake? Or is she a ruined woman forever?

I don't believe this would ever happen the way you described it...I think she would move away to her aunt's house to have the baby and put it up for adoption.

[James]

Ahhh . . . work with me here gorgeous , I'm the writer, thats what my Amy decided to do, write your own Amy later . . .

In the meantime, what will you ladies do with my noble Amy coming through Formal Rush.

PS: I hope you don't do that to movies lol, I'll send you my screen play for critiquing

Originally posted by NutBrnHair
I don't believe this would ever happen the way you described it...I think she would move away to her aunt's house to have the baby and put it up for adoption.

[IheartAphi]

I just do not think a pregnant PNM would get a bid from a sorority at my school or a few others that I have close friends in chapters there.

However, if a PNM came through rush talking about her abortion, I think she would be axed too. There are just some things that aren't discussed until you personally know the person better.

Also- there are some nonhazing physical aspects of being in a sorority that a pregnant women could not do.