Real World 10

[CRMSNTiDEGRL717]

Thanks DSTlove--- that really does help You're right, your post was very well put. Whites don't have to be around blacks. Why is that? I don't know the answer, this is a really complicated subject. But, I'm glad that you tried to help me see where blacks are coming from on this topic. I appreciate it I enjoy hearing all of your thoughts on the subject, b/c as you said I hardly ever have contact w/ a black person, and if I do it's in a setting that doesn't allo me to actually talk to them. It's just passing on the street or a restaraunt or whatever. Thanks again for explaining to me where you're coming from in such a helpful manner

[DST Love]

Originally posted by CRMSNTiDEGRL717:
Thanks DSTlove--- that really does help You're right, your post was very well put. Whites don't have to be around blacks. Why is that? I don't know the answer, this is a really complicated subject. But, I'm glad that you tried to help me see where blacks are coming from on this topic. I appreciate it I enjoy hearing all of your thoughts on the subject, b/c as you said I hardly ever have contact w/ a black person, and if I do it's in a setting that doesn't allo me to actually talk to them. It's just passing on the street or a restaraunt or whatever. Thanks again for explaining to me where you're coming from in such a helpful manner

You're very welcome!! Glad I could help !!


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#10 Sigma (Clark Atlanta University) Spring 1999
Currently: MAL, Southern Region

[Tsunami]

I was not upset by what Mike said in the first episode -- that was his ignorant uncle's limited experience. What upset me was the fact that he lacked the sentivity and common sense to curtail his words in the presence of two African-Americans.

I feel that Malik's decision to school Mike on African-American history was very constructive. I can totally understand why Coral may not want to take on the role of the "educator." I find that people of color are always placed in the position of being sensitive to other people's ignorance and trying to help "others" understand. The "educator" role can get old real quick, because quite frankly, we have to do it TOO often.

HOWEVER, Coral seems to go out of her way to insult and embarrass Mike. If Coral doesn't like Mike, she should just not speak to him. If he says something offensive that is one thing, but if he admits that he doesn't know something, that is an entirely different situation. It was very rude of Coral and Malik to openly laugh at Mike for admitting that he did not know the answers to their questions. You know if their other housemates were to openly laugh at them about something they thought everyone should know, both Malik and Coral would be very upset (and they would probably think it was a racial incident). Of course, after being tutored, Mike was obnoxious enough to say that he was going to tell Malik's friend about HIS history and then proceed to get some of the details wrong. One remedial lesson and he thinks he is an expert!

I like how Malik's friend challenged Coral's "superior than thou" attitude. He was very diplomatic. And how in the world can Coral be so presumptuous to say that she doesn't do anything that bothers Mike? She bothers me and I am not living with her! For someone so stuck in her ways, she really shouldn't expect Mike to change his ways overnight.

[OhSoPrettyNikki]

Hey I were my sunglasses at night also. Its a little thing called flossin' NYC style.

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"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

When da EAST is in da house....Oh my GOD!!!! DANGER!

[maxx5]

I could not resist talking about Real World...again.

I can understand that Coral was hurt and disappointed by Mike's comments. I am sure many of us would feel the same way. In my opinion, she was right to correct him, right then and there in the restaurant. She was right in letting him know how insulting it was to hear those comments, especially in front of her and in front of Malik...and truthfully, in front of anyone else at the table. I can't remember if it was Lori or Rachel was at the table, but what if she(Lori or Rachel)has a parent, relative, etc. who is black. Mike needs to learn that it IS inappropriate to say comments like that in front of anyone...unless he is talking to his "IGNORANT A$$ UNCLE". BUT...now Coral is being a B*%$# about it. Yes, it is true the hurt is not going to go away and no matter how many times we say "I forgive you"...it is hard to forget. I have a relative who is a lot like Coral. She likes to push people's buttons and has no problem telling someone(myself included)to their face that she thinks they are stupid if they do or say something that she does not agree with. She never says, "I am sorry...and I don't think she admits to being wrong about anything. It's either her way or no way. I am not trying to cut her down and berate her, but I am just trying to make the point that she is a lot like Coral. Sometimes I admire my relative her for her guts... but, other times her actions are inappropriate and down right rude...and mean! There is a time and a place for everything. Coral needs to learn that. She is wasting a lot of energy on Mike! Yes, he said that he wants to learn... but he doesn't seem that sincere. Julie, from RR-New Orleans...asked a lot of questions and she seemed sincere (and at time humble) in her quest to learn. And I am sure that there are a lot less black people where Julie is from than in Alabama...Mike's home state. I understand that Mike has not been exposed to many black people, but come one....in Alabama...!

Yes, Mike is not the "sharpest knife in the drawer" and to me he lacks common sense(what else could possibly explain him making the statement that his uncle won't hire blacks because they are slow, in front of two black people that he barely knows...actually it shouldn't make a difference if he made that comment after being in the house 1 day or 5 months...that!!!...to me is DUMB!

I applaude Malik for taking the time to try to teach Mike a few things, but Mike used poor judgement and demonstrated...AGAIN!
his lack of common sense when he told Malik's friend that he knew his history and then proceeded to butcher the facts. Coral was a little hard on Mike about not knowing about Marcus Garvey ...but he didn't know about Rosa Parks??? Oh yeah, he did say that he knew the name from an (Outkast??)song...not from school. I went to private and public schools, and the two people that they talked about when discussing black history are MLK and Rosa Parks. And it is not just taught in grade school, but taught in high school, too. I think both Coral and Mike are wrong, and it is going to be interesting to see how they relate to each other for the five months that they are at the loft. Yes, both of their actions are understandable, but that doesn't make it right. Maybe Coral is not used to such blatant ignorance, while Malik is. Remember he went to Berkley, so I am sure that he has run across his fair share of ignorance. He just handles it in a more mature way. If Mike didn't learn the first time, it should not have taken him long to figure out that Coral thinks he is ignorant. And if he has any sense he will figure out that Coral is opinionated and probably will not change her opinion. I too, noticed the look she gave Malik's friend...that to me, demonstrated her ignorance. On the casting special Coral said that she meditates every day because people get on her "d*#% nerves". Can you imagine what she would be like if she didn't meditate daily???

I think that Coral is attractive and very intelligent, but her quest to be "bi**% queen is neither attractive or intelligent. Mike should be taken at face value, maybe he will get something out of the five months that he is there, but not if he continues to let people like his uncle or family?? continue to influence his beliefs. All I can say is it is going to be an interesting show!!

And remember, this is just my opinion....

[maxx5]

SORRY EVERYONE!!! I didn't realize that last post was so long.

The whole subject demonstrates why diversity training is sooo important. Teachers, Do they have diversity training in high schools?

[AKA2D '91]

Where I teach the majority of the population is Black, then you have a population of Vietnameese, Hispanic, and White, not necessarily in that ranking order. The school is public. Whatever the students are taught, they have learned it from one another, primarily. There isn't a set curriculum offered which provides multicultural teaching/learning. These students have been "together" since grade school, except for the Vietnamese. They recently got here, some of them.

Many of the students are products or they are around an environment of "interracial" relationships, not limited to Blacks and whites. Even though the school system and the parish (county) that this school is a representation of is NOT diverse, the school campus is.

Now, if you are speaking of the teachers. Most of the teachers have been in the profession for over 20 years. Multiculturalism? Diversity? they aren't really trying to hear that (some). They have been teaching the SAME subjects, with the SAME lesson plans, AND the SAME tests for soooo long that the only thing they are worried about are the days left before retirement.

Personally, I feel that this is something that needs to be introduced AT HOME. That guy has the knowledge, or the lack there of because of an IGNORANT parent. If the parent was more knowledgeable then that guy would would know truth from fiction. Since that is not the case, The Real World is an outlet for him to learn (the hard way) about diversity and the REAL WORLD.

[maxx5]

I agree, it should be taught in the home, but if the parent(s) won't teach them, where will they learn about people that are different from them (e.g. culture, ethnicity, sexuality, etc.)? I know that a lot of people don't want to know about others. I mentioned teaching it in the schools because some of the parents only know what has been told to them...and that information may be incorrect.

About 5 years ago, I attended a diversity workshop...and at that time, I thought that my mind was pretty open, but that workshop shed light on areas that I really knew nothing about.

(Sighing)...I guess in a perfect world......

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by maxx5:
I mentioned teaching it in the schools because some of the parents only know what has been told to them...and that information may be incorrect.

LOL. I knew that was coming. ONE MORE thing that SCHOOLS have to be responsible for...

Do you know how hard it is just to teach these children how to read? Do you realize that there are high schoolers who STILL DO NOT know how to read? And they are NOT in Special Education!

They ARE NOT paying us teachers ENOUGH money to be the MOMMA, DADDY, NURSE, DOCTOR, COUNSELOR, PRIEST/PREACHER/(whatever religious person)/FRIEND/CONFIDANT/NURTURER/ROLE MODEL/ALLY/PROTECTOR...LET ALONE TEACHER!

Parents have to be held responsible and accountable for their children. I'm sorry, but they do! Hopefully, with our generation, our children will be more multiculturally astute and tolerant.

We (teachers) already have TOO DAYUM much on our plates to be added with something else. Maybe you'd understand if you were in the classroom day in and day out!

The hope lies with our future. One can only hope that things will get better.

[maxx5]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
LOL. I knew that was coming. ONE MORE thing that SCHOOLS have to be responsible for...

Do you know how hard it is just to teach these children how to read? Do you realize that there are high schoolers who STILL DO NOT know how to read? And they are NOT in Special Education!

Although I did not teach, I worked in the Fairfax County AfterSchool program. They have..or had, at the time, before school, after kindergarten and after school sessions for K-6...and I understand what you are saying.

I apologize if I came off in a disrespectful manner. I am not trying to disrespect any of the teachers or add another responsibility to the many "hats" teachers are asked/expected to wear today. I have mad respect for you guys. After working with the kids in Fairfax county for 4 years, I knew I did not have what it takes. You guys are definitely overworked, underpaid, do not receive the respect that you deserve.

I am a member of a service org. that is located in another county nearby. Let me tell you, it was an eye opening experience and I have seen first-hand adults, (my age) and their children that can not read...or struggle when they read. It is heartbreaking.

I am sorry if I mentioned diversity training in the schools. I only mentioned the schools because I did not know of any other place other than home. As you stated, maybe this generation will be more enlightened than previous generations. I do not have any children, yet...but I do believe in home-training and they will learn what is right and wrong in my household
Have a good night...and thanks for the enlightenment...I will try to think before I speak next time .

[AKA2D '91]

Apologies are not necesary, no disrespect over here.

I understand that you assumed that the easy answer would be to 'take it to school'. Many feel that way not only about diversity, but other areas affecting our society. Often times, the schools are not the sole answer. Schools are sometimes used as the scape-goat.

I don't have any children either, but I am very blessed to have had the parents that I have/had. When I (we) do have my (our) child, I (we) will ensure that he or she is exposed to as much as I (we) possibly can, including home-training.

THE END!

[SweetestDiva]

I thought Mike was from Ohio?

[kiml122]

DST LOVE,

I just read your post to the response of CRMSNTiDEGRL717 and I want to say you said it all. As I was reading your post I was nodding my head because I could relate to everything that you said. Also it was very well stated.


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Holla - 2001
KL

[maxx5]

Originally posted by SweetestDiva:
I thought Mike was from Ohio?

Oops!...my bad. You are right. I don't know why I was thinking Alabama ">

[jali0004]

I am an HR major, so I know how trainers approach diversity issues. There will "always" be a need for diversity training in the workplace...in the REAL WORLD. But I don't see how that would fit into the school system. Maybe because I have studied so much about andragogy (adult learning/teaching) that I don't see a need for schools to have a a class or seminar on "Diversity Learning" I think that the adult education field wants to take that responsibilty, including HR. All the talk and workshops that go along with diversity training can go in one ear and out the other with students, esp. if you go to a school where there really is no diversity to practice your new skills...but, if you work for a firm or an organization where they feel diversity training is an issue to be handled and is very important to the company, then I think it would "stick" with unenlightened folks more so when they know their survival at the company is dependant on it. Of course, this is just my theory..

I also went to a Catholic High School, but I didn't have the experiences some people here have had about not learning our history. My school was a fair mix of white and black, with few hispanics and asians. I can say that while I didn't learn all the who's who of black history, my american history teacher tried his best to include black history into the mix. His efforts were not included in the textbook, but I remember doing a family tree, and discussing how our family's were a part of American History, learning about slavery, and how it affected blacks, bringing in soul food, and discussing how it came to be soul food, how blacks voted in presidential elections, and how "we" switched from the GOP to being Democratic, and a few other things. He was a white man, and while we didn't necessarily learn the "big names" we learned how black culture has shaped American history...okay that's my spiel..

We also had our diversity training in other areas of the school experience. It shouldn't be limited to history..what about English, Religion, Civics, and other classes?? I gained an appreciation for black literature from a white man who taught my jr. english class..who would've thought?? So, I guess what I'm trying to say is the schools may be doing their part in diversity training, just not in the way a trainer would by developing a workshop geared for it.

And with Coral, I give her some slack..1)we don't know how MTV has edited the first episode, and what they left on the editing floor. 2)Mike was making the situation as long and messy just as much as Coral. Remember when she was like he should get a haircut?? I think that was her way of breaking the tension, and to make fun as way of showing she wasn't mad, but of course he brings it back up, and now she's hot and angered again. 3)Mike won't let it go....in his confessionals all he talked about was Coral...maybe he has a thing for her, and they are playing childrens' games, like hitting each other to say tey like each other...

Just something to think about..

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"I am not yet the author of my life; I am still it's unenlightened protagonist"
---Unknown

[This message has been edited by jali0004 (edited July 13, 2001).]