DARK/LIGHT...SKIN COLOR.........Is this still an issue? Let's be honest Sorors & SF'

[pinkies up]

My students don't know what color I am. They always ask me if I'm black or white and I ask them if they would behave differently if I told them. To this day, none of them really know and I started thinking if they treated white teachers with more respect (without having to be threatened) than they do black teachers.

[BellaSF]

Hello,
I'm new to GC and i felt compelled to reply to your thread. I am brown-skinned and my older sister is dark-skinned. She experienced the same thing on more than one occassion. People today still allow the color of skin to influence them. I've had friends that hate themselves because they were dark, friends that believed they were better because they were light and other ridiculous mumbo jumbo. Fortunately, I have always been around all types of people of different shades so I'm accepting. Even I as a brown-skinned woman have been put down. Yes, discrimination,ignorance, racism,etc. still exists.

[KAY10]

You ladies should read this book called "Color Complex". It's really interesting. It talks about fraternities and sororities too. I guess back in the day XYZ frat and XYZ sorority would only pick lighter toned men and women. Check the book out if you've never heard of it. It's really deep. I think it's unfortunate that these kinds of things still go on. I don't think it's really that bad with black men, but with the women it's really bad.

A lot of people think I'm half black half white. I've had people think I'm Indian too. My parents are black.

I usually see women more attracted to darker men, but I usually see men more attracted to lighter women. Me? I like em' all.

[cjoanell]

Originally Posted by deja

Is this an issue? I was in the mall a few days ago and a nice looking brother in his late 30's maybe early forties approached me. (Very nice looking Sorors) Any whooo, we were in engaged in a little small talk and all of a sudden I lost my hearing,,,,,yes I went absolutely deaf. I just could not hear pass the words that left the lips of this fine, well built 6"5 about 210 "dark-skinned" brothers full lips (beautiful white teeth). The words Sorors & SF's were......."You are so pretty to be sooo dark." I still cannot believe that. Is it written some where that dark-skin sisters are biologically challenged, where beauty is concerned? Is it an unwritten law/belief that beauty is only among the white/prit near white?

Surely this is not still an issue!

Deja

------------------
TO WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN....MUCH IS EXPECTED.

I've heard all my life and still do. My father was dark skin and I took his side although my mother is closer to light skin. Being that both of my parents are from the south, I have gotten used to it. It's sad that I have learned to get use to it. I think that society has beaten this into our heads along with the average size of a woman is a 4, when in reality now it is a 10, along with straight hair v. natural hair. Then they wonder why our children are so confused and vain.

[cjoanell]

Originally Posted by KAY10

You ladies should read this book called "Color Complex". It's really interesting. It talks about fraternities and sororities too. I guess back in the day XYZ frat and XYZ sorority would only pick lighter toned men and women. Check the book out if you've never heard of it. It's really deep. I think it's unfortunate that these kinds of things still go on. I don't think it's really that bad with black men, but with the women it's really bad.

A lot of people think I'm half black half white. I've had people think I'm Indian too. My parents are black.

I usually see women more attracted to darker men, but I usually see men more attracted to lighter women. Me? I like em' all.

The sad part is when outside people look at you, they still fall into those stereotypes..... oh you're light, I take it you're a member of XYZ or you're a member of XYZ, you were the darkest on your line huh? CRAZY....

[KAY10]

Originally Posted by cjoanell

The sad part is when outside people look at you, they still fall into those stereotypes..... oh you're light, I take it you're a member of XYZ or you're a member of XYZ, you were the darkest on your line huh? CRAZY....

I feel ya. It is sad. Both my parents are from the south too. My father is dark and my mom is light.
Have you ever heard of the Willie Lynch theory? Before the Civil War Willie Lynch wrote a letter and it was basically a letter to keep blacks separate. That part of the whole light/dark thing. It's in that book I was talking about.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by pretty edAKAted

I asked her who told her that she was yella and she says that her teacher told her that. (Surpised as heck!) So i told my sister and she and her husband had to talk to her.

This just makes me ...

I can't say that I've been negatively or positively affected by my skin tone. I'm pretty fair, and I get a lot of compliments on my eyes. A few people ask me what I am or where my parents are from; when I studied abroad in Italy, some of the Africans thought I was from Morocco or Egypt.

I don't think having a "preference" in skin tone is wrong as far as dating goes. I wouldn't date a morbidly obese man, so why should I hate on someone for not wanting to date a light-skinned woman?

[cjoanell]

Originally Posted by KAY10

I feel ya. It is sad. Both my parents are from the south too. My father is dark and my mom is light.
Have you ever heard of the Willie Lynch theory? Before the Civil War Willie Lynch wrote a letter and it was basically a letter to keep blacks separate. That part of the whole light/dark thing. It's in that book I was talking about.

Mom B'ham and Dad Orangeburg, S.C..... I know all about it.

[PrettyBoy]

I don't really think African American fraternities and sororities are still like this, but I know years ago XYZ sorority had a test called the brown paper bag test. If an interest was darker than the brown paper bag she would not have a chance of getting selected. That made me wonder if greek organizations made this problem worse. I don't think it's like that now, at least I would hope not.

[nonchalant]

I believe this is still an issue. Most of this stems from peoples upbringing as well as their surroundings. As stated in a previous thread, I was raised to think light is right. There isn't a need to put a paper bag next to me, for my mother didn't allow us to play in the daylight. Once you grow and become educated and open-minded, you realize those things were petty. I still love my light skinned pretty boys over the chocolate men. Now that's just a personal preference.

[southernelle25]

Originally Posted by pinkies up

My students don't know what color I am. They always ask me if I'm black or white and I ask them if they would behave differently if I told them. To this day, none of them really know and I started thinking if they treated white teachers with more respect (without having to be threatened) than they do black teachers.

Ha, ok Professor Grayson! Your story reminds me of an episode of The Cosby Show when, during a discussion of the diverse ethnic backgrounds of the Egyptians, Theo's teacher encourages the students to guess her own heritage.

[cjoanell]

Originally Posted by nonchalant

I believe this is still an issue. Most of this stems from peoples upbringing as well as their surroundings. As stated in a previous thread, I was raised to think light is right. There isn't a need to put a paper bag next to me, for my mother didn't allow us to play in the daylight. Once you grow and become educated and open-minded, you realize those things were petty. I still love my light skinned pretty boys over the chocolate men. Now that's just a personal preference.

[pinkies up]

Originally Posted by southernelle25

Ha, ok Professor Grayson! Your story reminds me of an episode of The Cosby Show when, during a discussion of the diverse ethnic backgrounds of the Egyptians, Theo's teacher encourages the students to guess her own heritage.

It's a trip because I finally told them my background (mom is white, dad is black) and they were like *blank stare* Then they asked me what I consider myself to be. I told them that I am black. I grew up with the black culture and understandings and this is who I am.

[DSTCHAOS]

What is interesting about this topic is that it is still a "big deal" to many people, which is why it is still a topic to be discussed. However, discussing it keeps the topic a "big deal" to many people as opposed to the assumption that discussing something combats ignorance and changes people's thoughts and actions.

I have found that instead of thinking and talking about this "color complex" I just make it a point to correct (usually, black) people when I see or hear them displaying colorisms or hair texturisms. For instance, if I hear some ignorant soul say "good hair" or say "I need to stay out of the sun because I'm black enough as is," I go on (what my friend calls) my Angela Davis speech. I say "no such thing as 'good hair' unless you're talking about healthy hair" and "no such thing as being 'black enough' but you need to stay out of the sun to protect yourself from UV rays and skin cancer, not getting darker. Interestingly enough, your beautiful dark skin protects you from the sun's rays and skin cancer more than lighter or white skin does." I remember when a classmate told me when I was little that I needed to stay out of the sun to make sure that I stayed pretty and lightskinned--my family doesn't talk crazy like that so I was really shocked when I was told that by an outsider. No, I don't need to stay out of the sun to avoid getting shades darker but I do need to stay out of the sun because I have less melanin to protect my skin.

Either case, people have generally learned not to make certain comments around me. I could be changing the world if I force everyone to interact with me on a daily basis. Then I'll be their #1 source of socialization.

[pinkies up]

Actually I stay out of the sun because it's too dayum hot in Mississippi to be hangin' outside