RFM question now that bid day is here

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by NWGreek

My daughter is going thru recruitment and is seeing her favorites disappear each round and is feeling very disheartened. She still has a full schedule and I am encouraging her to be happy about the really strong chapters she still has on her list. However; there are a few she is really not loving that stay on her list each round. I am of course, anticipating the worst case scenario, so, for example, if she had 2 she really liked at Pref and one she really would not accept a bid from, what is the out come if she lists 2? If she got neither could she be eligible for a quota ad or a snap bid? I have never been clear about the difference. Thank you - I wish it were acceptable to have a glass of wine at work.....

If she attends 3 chapters for Pref Round, but only lists 2, and does not fall high enough on either list to get a bid then:

-- she would not be eligible to be a Quota Addition. QAs are placed at the time of bid matching and only PNMs who list all options are eligible. Because they are matched at the same time as the rest of the pledge class no one knows that they are a QA and the chapter doesn't know either. (Save for maybe 1-2 high level recruitment team members, and they don't share that info)

-- she is eligible to be a Snap Bid. However, Snap Bids are not common and should not be expected. The only time that Snap Bids are given is when a chapter learns that they did not make quota. The recruitment advisor and 1-2 chapter members receive a list of women who did not match during the bid process and/or who withdrew during the recruitment process. From that list they select the PNM(s) that they would like to offer a bid in order to reach quota. This happens after bid matching but before Bid Day activities. The PNM who receives a snap bid will know she is a snap bid because she will receive a call from the chapter telling her to go to the Bid Day activities. It is *possible* that a few other PNMs may be aware too- for instance a roommate who knew the PNM had earlier gotten a call from the Rho Gamma stating that she didn't match and saw her crying or upset, or someone who may be around when the phone call from the chapter comes through. However, in general most/all members of the pledge class will not know and most/all members of the chapter will not know either.

QAs are common. Snap Bids are not.

[NWGreek]

Thank you - I appreciate your replies. I do realize that I am putting the cart before the horse - a bad habit of mine! She knew this would be competitive, and it is. It takes a her a few minutes to realize what is left on the schedule, to see and appreciate the bright spots that are still there and get over the ones she had been hoping for that are missing.

[Titchou]

If she did not match to any group she is free to pledge thru COB as she is an eligible PNM

[DubaiSis]

I would strongly suggest she accept what she's given and really give it a shot. Rush is such a bubble and all this ranking makes it seem like there really is a right and wrong answer. In real life do you rank your friends from best to worst? Once rush is over and she starts meeting girls, even in a chapter she may have to grudgingly accept she will likely make plenty of friends. However, she does have to TRY. It doesn't happen magically, and if you read through posts here you will find as many where a girl got her dream chapter and is disenchanted as the girl who got stuck with her last choice and is disenchanted. The term we call it here is Unicorns Pooping Rainbows syndrome. The girls think there is some magical perfect answer. The day after rush, the members go back to their lives; the singing stops, the tear-filled hellos and goodbyes stop, and it can really seem like it was all a lie.

The purpose of rush, and sorority membership for that matter is to make FRIENDS. That is not instant, and except for the snarkiest among us, you are not choosing your friends based on looks or where they live. Try to keep that in mind and maybe it will help. All of the houses she still has want her. That needs to be worth something.

[NWGreek]

Thanks for the advice. I have read here for months. She got 3 and ranked. Got 2nd choice. Very sad today. I have said everything a person could think of. It is a good house, girls of substance, you still have all of your old friends from high school in other houses - you name it. I said it. And all of it true. Just going to have to wait and see. A friend got what she wanted by suiciding. She played by the rules. I know it isn't a perfect system and no one is entitled to a bid at all. She has a chance to be Greek. It is up to her now. Tough duty for mom today.

[Sororitysock]

Originally Posted by NWGreek

Thanks for the advice. I have read here for months. She got 3 and ranked. Got 2nd choice. Very sad today. I have said everything a person could think of. It is a good house, girls of substance, you still have all of your old friends from high school in other houses - you name it. I said it. And all of it true. Just going to have to wait and see. A friend got what she wanted by suiciding. She played by the rules. I know it isn't a perfect system and no one is entitled to a bid at all. She has a chance to be Greek. It is up to her now. Tough duty for mom today.

It's because your daughter played by the rules that she has a bid at all. If she had suicided like her friend did, she would have been bidless since she obviously was not on their first bid list and would have been ineligible for quota additions. Additionally, she doesn't know whether or not she was a quota addition for #2. It's completely possible that she wasn't on the first bid list of any of her three preferenced sororities, and without RFM she could have been bidless. Your daughter was an RFM success story. If this isn't one of the things you have discussed with her, it's probably time to bring it up. She got her second choice for crying out loud. This will be a valuable life lesson in coping with disappointment and learning gratitude.

[Lagniappe]

Thank you for the wonderful explanation! I should've known it wouldn't be that simple

She's at Texas A&M; festivities begin at 3:35 with bid card reveal at 4:45.