"I'm rushing 'for' a certain chapter"

[lake]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

And all too often, the "chapter of their dreams" ends up being a nightmare, as witnessed by the number of resignations ("drops"). What I find fascinating is the membership retention of the "below them" chapters versus the "dream chapters"... to me, that's the litmus test of what a "dream chapter" really is.

This is *exactly* what I assume would happen if someone chose a sorority for any other reason than feeling comfortable with the members or feeling like they are at "home".

Maybe it's like fashion...they're willing to tough it out even if it's painful or uncomfortable because the "label" is so prestigious!

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Little wonder that there is still confusion where recs are concerned (at Bama anyway) – especially among moms who are not Greek and using this “official” source of information.

***I've never noticed the "send in your own" suggestion before. Perhaps it has been there in the past, but I never noticed it. And I don't know of any PNMs who have done that.

.

Or among moms who were Greek, but at a noncompetitive school. (I'm so glad my daughter chose not to rush; I knew NOTHING about Texas and would have given her very very bad information. Even though I belonged to an alumnae group, this was not something we ever discussed.)

For all the people who get told "contact your Greek Life office; a bunch of strangers on the internet don't know" (not only this site, mind you), we shouldn't be surprised that there is confusion among those who weren't raised with the SEC-sorority mindset.

[SWTXBelle]

That's why God invented Alumnae Panhellenics!

Seriously - the vast majority of the GKAP pnms have mothers who didn't go Greek. We work EXTRA HARD to educate both them and their daughters. It's one reason we have such a great percentage pledge - EVEN AT TEXAS AND BAMA! (Love my GKAP panhellenic cousins!)

*GKAP - Greater Katy Alumnae Panhellenic

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

For all the admonishing about PNMs and college bound students hedging their bets, you'll never see this behavior go away because for as much as we bitch about it, there aren't dire consequences for every student who does it. PNMs go through recruitment every single year with this attitude. Some have magical recruitments, some have nightmares. The ones that end up where they wanted feed the beast. We all know it happens. Pretending like the system magically spits out each and every person who dares not be Panhellenic is stupid. We do get to see a lot of these girls go home when they drop out rather than take a bid from a chapter "below them" but there are plenty whom get the chapter of their dreams. Honestly, if they would rather drop out then join a group of women having a great time without them...a doubt they'll be missed.

This is all true. However, since it either borders on tent talk or is actual tent talk, it would not be serving our PNM public well if we did not do everything to quash this sort of thinking.

The PNMs for which the "rushing certain chapter(s)" works are what most of GLO women here feel are the extreme minority of PNMs. If we don't say something about how it's not the way to approach recruitment then we are reinforcing that approach that "rushing certain chapter(s)" is okay. The PNMs will assume it's okay for most of them to just rush one chapter, and not just the PNM with the magical recruitment that gets the ONE chapter she had her heart set on from the beginning.

Here's an analogy which is similar to this kind of thinking from recruitment: It's like depending on the fact that you Special Snowflake PNM are a legacy to a 100+ year chapter "FGH" at Magnolia Republic University (MRU) to get you onto the MRU FGH 100+ year chapter first bid list . . . You may not relaize you are competing with many, many, worthy PNMs at MRU and that older chapter cannot take all of its legacies due to the generations of FGH Alumnae that MRU FGH has produced. Those women had many more daughters than sons it seems. MRU Legacy PNMs cannot depend on their legacy chapters and here at Greekchat we tell them that information routinely here. To do otherwise is a disservice to those legacy PNMs.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by DGTess

Or among moms who were Greek, but at a noncompetitive school. (I'm so glad my daughter chose not to rush; I knew NOTHING about Texas and would have given her very very bad information. Even though I belonged to an alumnae group, this was not something we ever discussed.)

For all the people who get told "contact your Greek Life office; a bunch of strangers on the internet don't know" (not only this site, mind you), we shouldn't be surprised that there is confusion among those who weren't raised with the SEC-sorority mindset.

Just giving credit where credit is due...
The quote you've presented in this post as mine was actually posted by Hartofsec.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

This is all true. However, since it either borders on tent talk or is actual tent talk, it would not be serving our PNM public well if we did not do everything to quash this sort of thinking.

The PNMs for which the "rushing certain chapter(s)" works are what most of GLO women here feel are the extreme minority of PNMs. If we don't say something about how it's not the way to approach recruitment then we are reinforcing that approach that "rushing certain chapter(s)" is okay. The PNMs will assume it's okay for most of them to just rush one chapter, and not just the PNM with the magical recruitment that gets the ONE chapter she had her heart set on from the beginning.

Here's an analogy which is similar to this kind of thinking from recruitment: It's like depending on the fact that you Special Snowflake PNM are a legacy to a 100+ year chapter "FGH" at Magnolia Republic University (MRU) to get you onto the MRU FGH 100+ year chapter first bid list . . . You may not relaize you are competing with many, many, worthy PNMs at MRU and that older chapter cannot take all of its legacies due to the generations of FGH Alumnae that MRU FGH has produced. Those women had many more daughters than sons it seems. MRU Legacy PNMs cannot depend on their legacy chapters and here at Greekchat we tell them that information routinely here. To do otherwise is a disservice to those legacy PNMs.

I don't disagree. I think it's entertaining sometimes watching us swim against the tide.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I don't disagree. I think it's entertaining sometimes watching us swim against the tide.

: D

[33girl]

Originally Posted by greekdee

Amen, I completely see why there is confusion. Parents who attended the Preview Weekend seem to have a much better understanding of what is needed, but some who didn't rely a lot on what they read at the website, and some trust it more than they do a few alums telling them differently. On another note, I had a UGA mom tell me she heard recs were "being phased out" and not a big deal anymore. Wow, wonder what UGA she is talking about? Not the one in Athens, Georgia.

The problem is that Panhellenic (the entity) cannot say that recs are recommended, or even required, as they are NOT required to take place in rush (a Panhellenic event). However, to actually receive a bid to the participating partners, you need one.

Analogy: A mall cannot disallow you from walking into the mall without cash, checks or a credit card. However, to buy anything at any of the stores in the mall, you will need one of those things.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^That analogy is pretty accurate.

What sucks is that people spread "recs are being phased out" and those not "in the know" or familiar with UGA Greek Life think "Oh, so it's all good. I don't need these" when that is not the case at all.

[AnchorAlumna]

Re: the Alabama confusion.
I believe the idea behind this is that some PNMs simply cannot find recs for certain groups. There is no alumnae panhellenic in their area to help.
They can send their resume stuff to the chapter so they have more complete info and/or can share it with an alum from that girl's hometown.
....which makes no sense, since chapters have all that info when they register for recruitment.

[FSUZeta]

I would like to know if chapters actually look at unsolicited resume/transcript/photo information, especially at those colleges with mega-recruitments, and lots of recommendations to work their way through.

Good analogies today: swimming against the tide, and the mall/shopping w/o money. I sometimes wonder if some folks are so adamant about believing that recommendations are not needed because it frees them from having to put forth the effort to find them?

[SWTXBelle]

ME: "Oh, your daughter is going to Texas State? I'd be happy to help get her recommendations."

MOM - "Oh, her sister is an Alpha Delta Pi, so she's going to pledge them. They have to give her a bid. She doesn't need any others."

ME:

[Sciencewoman]

When we dropped our daughter off at college last fall, we attended two parent welcome meetings. One mom specifically asked the student life panel about recommendation letters for sororities. One (male) Dean specifically said, "For those of you used to hearing about SEC recruitment, relax. Your daughter's friends have probably been spending a lot of time gathering them. You don't need to worry about that here. The sororities won't even look at them."

That last sentence is just flat out wrong, and I found it rather troubling that he would presume to share what the various groups do or don't consider during membership selection. You can imagine how badly I wanted to raise my hand and say something. I didn't, and I didn't even want to post it until my daughter was through recruitment. Her recs had already been sent in by that point, and several rec writers had been thanked, including the alumna of the sorority she eventually joined.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

ME: "Oh, your daughter is going to Texas State? I'd be happy to help get her recommendations."

MOM - "Oh, her sister is an Alpha Delta Pi, so she's going to pledge them. They have to give her a bid. She doesn't need any others."

ME:

I'd have a real hard time not saying "good luck with that."

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

When we dropped our daughter off at college last fall, we attended two parent welcome meetings. One mom specifically asked the student life panel about recommendation letters for sororities. One (male) Dean specifically said, "For those of you used to hearing about SEC recruitment, relax. Your daughter's friends have probably been spending a lot of time gathering them. You don't need to worry about that here. The sororities won't even look at them."

That last sentence is just flat out wrong, and I found it rather troubling that he would presume to share what the various groups do or don't consider during membership selection. You can imagine how badly I wanted to raise my hand and say something. I didn't, and I didn't even want to post it until my daughter was through recruitment. Her recs had already been sent in by that point, and several rec writers had been thanked, including the alumna of the sorority she eventually joined.

Oh my gosh, I felt the same way when attending the Greek Life info. sessions at my daughter's freshman orientation. The Panhellenic Recruitment VP stood on the stage and told the audience that recommendations had to come from alumnae of the chapters at that school. I mentioned to the lady I was sitting next to that that was incorrect and she tried to get me to correct the girl, but i wouldn't dare, for fear that it would impact my daughter's recruitment. I was flabbergasted that the recruitment VP was so ill-informed.

And SWTexasBelle, I had a similar experience with a man whose younger sister was supposed to rush at Bama. I offered to write a rec. for her and he informed me that that would not be necessary since his grandmother, mother and sister had all been XYZs at Bama and therefore his baby sister would be also I was amused that when rush came around I did not find her name on the bid list to any of the sororities at Bama, nor the next year or the year after that!