bid day gone wrong..so sorry this is long but heres my story

[33girl]

Is this really RFM? Isn't this just plain old bid matching? I thought RFM was just to do with who got invited back to parties and the percentages of attendees that the chapter had to cut, not matching bids.

I mean there were QAs before RFM came to be...I didn't think that the fact groups are using RFM is what changed how they are worked, I thought the two just happened to come into practice at the same time.

Originally Posted by thetalady

That is exactly the hypothetical that I posed... Polly was either very low on all 3 bid lists (or perhaps not on the bid list for OMG or LOL at all). All 3 houses filled before any group got to her name. She made sure that she was very low on 2 of the lists because of her behavior at those pref parties.

Personally, I do not think that she deserves a QA bid to KMA. I think she violated the spirit of RFM by trying to game the system.

Unless of course, OMG and/or LOL know EXACTLY what she's doing and put her on their first bid list just to pull her chain and know she will decline the bid, and therefore snootypants gets no sorority.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

The change with RFM is that QA's are more or less unlimited now. They used to be 5% of quota.

As for the hypothetical situation, I'm not sure how many groups adjust their bid lists after prefs. Many do them prior to pref and only make changes in extreme circumstances. I don't want to get too much into MS, but it's obvious to me that, if the XYZ's are out at the bar twenty minutes after the last pref party concludes, then XYZ did their bid lists after second invitational.

[pinapple]

Originally Posted by CMDelta

I have a question maybe Pineapple or someone familiar with UT can answer. If a PNM attends 3 pref parties and lists them all on her bid card, isn't she guaranteed to match to one of them with the system that is in place now? I know that's the case at many other schools but I wasn't sure if UT adhered to that? I have a rec girl that it happened to and when her mom told me, I just didn't know what to say.

Unless there was a major character concern brought by all three chapters to Panhellenic AFTER pref, then the version of the girl's story is not correct.

[CMDelta]

Thanks everyone for such great examples and understanding. I thought I knew how it worked and just wanted to confirm. Not sure if it matters but this PNM was a sophomore who was unable to complete last year's recruitment week due to illness. So she really wanted to be involved in Greek life. It was my understanding that she really liked all 3 she attended on Pref day as they are all GREAT chapters at UT. But, you ladies are right - something sounds fishy to me.

[CMDelta]

Just wanted to post an update - the mom gave me wrong info. I finally heard from the PNM and she was released by all 3 BEFORE pref parties. I heard there were more sophomores going through this year at UT and not enough spots.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by CMDelta

Just wanted to post an update - the mom gave me wrong info. I finally heard from the PNM and she was released by all 3 BEFORE pref parties. I heard there were more sophomores going through this year at UT and not enough spots.

There were as many spots as there women at pref. The sororities can have an entire class full of sophomores if they want to. Upperclass quota doesn't mean that's the only upperclassmen they can bid.

[sigmagirl2000]

.... I think some of the information presented in the last few days isn't 100% accurate, but it's a fairly close approximation and probably about as good as the average greek will interpret it....

[carnation]

I'm bumping this for general info. How many times does a PNM tell us that there was a mistake and her friends in her top choice swear she was on their first list?

I bet that if one of my friends had rushed and not gotten a bid, I might have told her the same thing, though. Southern courtesy plus what else can you say?

[FSUZeta]

A ba-zillion times. At least.

[AOII*Azra-elle]

We had one girl in absolute tears this year. She preffed us and another house. Her friend accepted a bid from the other house and she from us. She lied to us at Bid Day and told us that her parents were in town and wanted to soend time with her. Two of our sisters walked her out when her ‘parents’ got there only to find out she called friends to come get her bc she didn’t want her bid from us anymore. Why accept the bid if you aren’t going to at least give the new member process a chance? Why take the spot from someone else who may have really wanted a bid from us? And then why lie? As I am handing you your new member goodie pack and book, just be straight with me.

My understanding is that she thinks they’ll give her a bid—-that she cannot accept for a year. And, that chapter is above campus total, so they won’t be doing COB or spring recruitment. I have no sympathy at this point.

If you accept a bid, give it a chance and get to know the women. You may truly love it. If you don’t see yourself in that house, don’t pref them.

Originally Posted by pinapple

Had your niece not listed this 3rd choice chapter, she would have gotten a phone call that she had been released from recruitment. The process worked for her. She got a bid. I saw a few girls outside of HOGG on Monday who I was down right embarrassed for. Girls who had cards in their hands and walked away. They will never experience bid day even if they change their mind and take their bid (which by the way your niece can still do) Girls who were with THEIR MOTHERS and still walked away. I guess closed mindedness is a taught skill. Really really sad.

[33girl]

Exactly- once you’re bound for a year, you literally have nothing to lose by trying to get to know the sorority. Unless you have some sort of delusion and think that being Polly Pouty Pants and refusing to accept an offer of friendship makes you more attractive to other sororities.

[navane]

Originally Posted by AOII*Azra-elle

My understanding is that she thinks they’ll give her a bid—-that she cannot accept for a year. And, that chapter is above campus total, so they won’t be doing COB or spring recruitment. I have no sympathy at this point.

Oof. Let us know how that works out. If the other chapter wanted her enough, she would have been higher on their bid list.

[anongreek]

I knew girls who completely dropped out of rush way early into the process after only being dropped from their #1 top choice, which seemed sad to me. Why not at least continue rush and give the other sororities a chance! I know SO many girls who came into rush with the idea in their head they HAD TO HAVE XYZ, and then when they went through rush and met all of the sororities, they totally fell in love with another sorority,got a bid from them on bid day and were absolutely happy with their choice, and that they allowed themselves to get to know all of the other orgs before choosing! It is so easy to say I want to be XYZ, because my best friend at _________ University is a XYZ!!! But every sorority at every school is different! You may find a sorority you fall in love with that you never expected! I hate that so many people in greek orgs have such sad bid day stories/ rush stories

[NYCMS]

Originally Posted by anongreek

I knew girls who completely dropped out of rush way early into the process after only being dropped from their #1 top choice, which seemed sad to me. Why not at least continue rush and give the other sororities a chance! I know SO many girls who came into rush with the idea in their head they HAD TO HAVE XYZ, and then when they went through rush and met all of the sororities, they totally fell in love with another sorority,got a bid from them on bid day and were absolutely happy with their choice

Agree. I remember a chapter legacy who rushed the year I did - I think her grandmother also was a Gamma Phi She was released the first year and dropped out of rush at that point. Determined to be a Gamma Phi despite 11 other wonderful sororities.

She rushed her sophomore year. We released her after 2nd round, not a personality fit. She dropped out of rush again. I met her the next year through friends and when she learned I was a Gamma Phi, she told me she just couldn't imagine being anything else, hence dropping out of rush.

So sad because there were so many great chapters at my alma mater. Never learned why she was so fixated on her legacy house, but there you go. She totally robbed herself of a sisterhood experience.

[DaffyKD]

PNM have to remember/learn that whatever goes on behind closed doors during recruitment, stays behind closed doors forever. I know a young lady who went through recruitment years ago. Her mother and grandmother were members of a sorority that was on the woman's campus. Gramma was a charter member of the chapter on the PNM's campus. She "knew" she would be a sister to her grandmother and sister following recruitment. To her surprise, the chapter her grandmother helped to charter dropped her. Luckily, PNM although very disappointed, did not drop out of recruitment and went on to join a chapter that was a perfect fit for her.

DaffyKD