Interracial relationships, the acid test of racism?

[Optimist Prime]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
I think hormones supercede politics... Something to be said about "physical attraction" and "libido"-- when it all comes done to it, folks will get busy no matter what their politics are...

Thomas Jefferson once wrote that black people could never achieve the same level of civilization as white people. He either really believed that or used that as a justification of his behavior.

[Taualumna]

Question: Mr. Tau just revealed to me that he can't tell some family members of his about our relationship because I'm not white and Jewish. Has anyone experienced this? I have relatives that won't approve of me dating Mr. Tau either (in fact, some relatives prefer that I date a Chinese guy of the same cultural background (i.e. family from Hong Kong), but I really don't care what they think! Should Mr. Tau care?

[Honeykiss1974]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Question: Mr. Tau just revealed to me that he can't tell some family members of his about our relationship because I'm not white and Jewish. Has anyone experienced this? I have relatives that won't approve of me dating Mr. Tau either (in fact, some relatives prefer that I date a Chinese guy of the same cultural background (i.e. family from Hong Kong), but I really don't care what they think! Should Mr. Tau care?

It depends on Mr. Tau's family dynamics and who these family members are. If he's talking about aunt and uncles that you two would only see every blue moon maybe at a funeral, then I don't see why their opinion matters. But if we're talking about brothers/sisters/cousins and if his family is very close knit, I can see why he would care.

[Phasad1913]

It is really irritating that so many posters have started their posts off with the whole "I may not want to date a short person or a person who is of a different religion, etc etc etc. but does that make me prejuduced against short people or people of such and such religion?" thing. The thread was started specifically about whether refusing to date someone of a different race despite being attracted to them in all other areas made that person racist. You all know damn well that race, especially in this country, is something in a category of its own and people look at it and feel differently about it than all of those other characteristics and physical traits mentioned and compared to it. You all know that if you took home someone of your same race who was short and possibly even in a different financial bracket, the reaction would be different than if the person was of a different race. I hate it when people play this game and beat around the bush. This is a very good topic and the question posed is an interesting one because race and all that people in this country do to go around it is something that americans refuse to deal with. So many people talk all day long about how much the country has changed and yada yada yada, yet when it comes down to it, in most people's intimate lives, things really haven't changed. I think that at the root of it all, you see the hesitation and down right refusal in many instances to date outside of ones race because of the generationally inherited notion of either supremacy, hatred or resentment. Its that simple and not facing that is what continues to drive the divisions in this country.

I always say this in topics on this issue, the laws may have changed, but people found a way to continue to foster their racist beliefs anyway, which is why the country is so heavily segregated and there still remain a lot of inequality and divisions. That being the way the people of this country want to be, you can expect to find a lot of people not wanting to date outside of their race. Its pretty logical to me.

The fact that anyone has to deal with so much crap when they simply meet someone that they like but they happen to be of a different race, and the fact that this type of thread would even be posted, shows that there are plenty of issues yet to be resolved with regard to race.

[BobbyTheDon]

Originally posted by Phasad1913
It is really irritating that so many posters have started their posts off with the whole "I may not want to date a short person or a person who is of a different religion, etc etc etc. but does that make me prejuduced against short people or people of such and such religion?" thing. The thread was started specifically about whether refusing to date someone of a different race despite being attracted to them in all other areas made that person racist. You all know damn well that race, especially in this country, is something in a category of its own and people look at it and feel differently about it than all of those other characteristics and physical traits mentioned and compared to it. You all know that if you took home someone of your same race who was short and possibly even in a different financial bracket, the reaction would be different than if the person was of a different race. I hate it when people play this game and beat around the bush. This is a very good topic and the question posed is an interesting one because race and all that people in this country do to go around it is something that americans refuse to deal with. So many people talk all day long about how much the country has changed and yada yada yada, yet when it comes down to it, in most people's intimate lives, things really haven't changed. I think that at the root of it all, you see the hesitation and down right refusal in many instances to date outside of ones race because of the generationally inherited notion of either supremacy, hatred or resentment. Its that simple and not facing that is what continues to drive the divisions in this country.

I always say this in topics on this issue, the laws may have changed, but people found a way to continue to foster their racist beliefs anyway, which is why the country is so heavily segregated and there still remain a lot of inequality and divisions. That being the way the people of this country want to be, you can expect to find a lot of people not wanting to date outside of their race. Its pretty logical to me.

The fact that anyone has to deal with so much crap when they simply meet someone that they like but they happen to be of a different race, and the fact that this type of thread would even be posted, shows that there are plenty of issues yet to be resolved with regard to race.

Oh ...

[XOMichelle]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Question: Mr. Tau just revealed to me that he can't tell some family members of his about our relationship because I'm not white and Jewish. Has anyone experienced this? I have relatives that won't approve of me dating Mr. Tau either (in fact, some relatives prefer that I date a Chinese guy of the same cultural background (i.e. family from Hong Kong), but I really don't care what they think! Should Mr. Tau care?

Ohhhh -- Not cool.
I suppose it depends on your relationship stage. If you guys are really serious he needs to be able to defend you to his family. If he can't do it now, he'll never do it.

Then, it also depends who it is;
If they are old great aunts who are stuffy who you will never see (unless they die and leave you money -- esp if they leave you money), then let them believe whatever they want. Just don't send them pictures.

If they are people that you will see, then it's really bad.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by XOMichelle
Ohhhh -- Not cool.
I suppose it depends on your relationship stage. If you guys are really serious he needs to be able to defend you to his family. If he can't do it now, he'll never do it.

Then, it also depends who it is;
If they are old great aunts who are stuffy who you will never see (unless they die and leave you money -- esp if they leave you money), then let them believe whatever they want. Just don't send them pictures.

If they are people that you will see, then it's really bad.

We've been going out six months and his family is in another city, so I suppose we're okay right now. I don't think his parents mind too much, but he does have family members who are really religious. Basically, if I ever see these family members, it would be like once a year (Passover).

[moe.ron]

I've dated a girl who was half Ethiopian and half Serbian. She was hot yow.

[XOMichelle]

Originally posted by Taualumna
We've been going out six months and his family is in another city, so I suppose we're okay right now. I don't think his parents mind too much, but he does have family members who are really religious. Basically, if I ever see these family members, it would be like once a year (Passover).

6 months isn't that long.... I mean, are you going to his house for passover next week? If you are: it's an issue. If not, it's less of an issue.

ETA: Some people in my family raised a few eyebrows at my current boyfriends obviously latino name. I happily squashed the single concern that was raised and challenged the offender to unearth their underlying reason for bringing it up. So -- how hard can it be???

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Question: Mr. Tau just revealed to me that he can't tell some family members of his about our relationship because I'm not white and Jewish. Has anyone experienced this? I have relatives that won't approve of me dating Mr. Tau either (in fact, some relatives prefer that I date a Chinese guy of the same cultural background (i.e. family from Hong Kong), but I really don't care what they think! Should Mr. Tau care?

To be blunt, unless he's like 17 years old, I'd hold out for someone who is less of a pussy.

[starang21]

Originally posted by valkyrie
To be blunt, unless he's like 17 years old, I'd hold out for someone who is less of a pussy.

LOL, cotdayum.

[OrchidAlum]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Question: Mr. Tau just revealed to me that he can't tell some family members of his about our relationship because I'm not white and Jewish. Has anyone experienced this? I have relatives that won't approve of me dating Mr. Tau either (in fact, some relatives prefer that I date a Chinese guy of the same cultural background (i.e. family from Hong Kong), but I really don't care what they think! Should Mr. Tau care?

My grandparents would not approve of me dating or marrying a non-Jew. I dated a guy for a while with a German last name (which could pass for Jewish). My grandmother assumed that he was Jewish and my mom and I never bothered to correct her.

But, aside from my grandparents, I don't think I could marry someone who wasn't Jewish (or wasn't willing to convert). It's important to me to raise my children as Jews, and for my husband and I to share our heritage and values.

[USCTKE]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
I think hormones supercede politics... Something to be said about "physical attraction" and "libido"-- when it all comes done to it, folks will get busy no matter what their politics are...

I have to say I pretty much disagree with that. Personally I dont care how attracted I am to someone if they are a liberal hippy freako (sorry for such the technical terminology)...it aint happenin

[JonInKC]

Originally posted by USCTKE
I have to say I pretty much disagree with that. Personally I dont care how attracted I am to someone if they are a liberal hippy freako (sorry for such the technical terminology)...it aint happenin

What's that, frater? So if there were an incredibly gorgeous girl, but she had different political views than your own, you wouldn't even hook up with her? Not talking long-term.

I guess politics are more important to some than others...lol

[USCTKE]

for a one time hookup maybe...but anything over than that its not gonna happen