The Fat Lady Sang

[Jen]

Here's the link - http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...threadid=48423

[ms_gwyn]

you also may want to look at
this thread

[Lil' Hannah]

Originally posted by ms_gwyn
you also may want to look at
this thread

Yes, after shopping around at several other GLOs, she was offered membership in a GLO she hadn't even considered. Sounds a lot like AI for the sake of AI to me.

[ms_gwyn]

Originally posted by Lil' Hannah
Yes, after shopping around at several other GLOs, she was offered membership in a GLO she hadn't even considered. Sounds a lot like AI for the sake of AI to me.

If that is the way you want to view it...is your prerogative.

Personally, I don’t see it that way. A member of a GLO after some time and heartbreak, Pm’ed her with an opportunity that I think most would explore, I am sure they knew her situation. It looks like she fit with the AC and the rest is history. AI is about getting into that organization, but its also about fitting in WITH THE ALUMNAE CHAPTER, no matter how much you know that a GLO is for you, if you don’t fit with the AC you are not going to be offered the opportunity to pursue AI in that org. PERIOD.

Am not going to argue the point, I keep repeating myself. As much as AI and new member recruitment is not the same, in a lot of ways it is the same. I see nothing wrong with looking around and finding the group that fits you and the group believing that the potential AI fits them. She made a list, unless you know 100% that her org is not on that list, you can’t say…AI for the sake of AI, that is an insult to her, me and a lot of AIs and potential AIs.

Untilyou walk a mile in someone’s shoes, you can not say you know what they’ve gone through.

We can also agree to disagree.

[WCUgirl]

Originally posted by Lil' Hannah
Yes, after shopping around at several other GLOs, she was offered membership in a GLO she hadn't even considered. Sounds a lot like AI for the sake of AI to me.

Yes, but, isn't that how it ends up for a lot of AIs? For example, when we installed our colony as a chapter at Greensboro College, we initiated some faculty members as they would become advisors. AFAIK, these women had not previously considered joining a sorority, and the opportunity was dropped in their lap.

I don't know if they had previously looked into AI with AXiD or even with someone else, and quite frankly, I really don't care. What matters is that they are now my sisters and they are volunteering their time to the sorority, which is more than I can say for the rest of the girls in my own pledge class who, after only four days of looking at the five other sororities on our campus, chose Alpha Xi. It's obvious that unless an unexpected invitation is extended to an AI, some women have spent years pursuing the group they want.

We constantly remind our PNMs that it's a mutual selection process. Well, I think it's safe to say the same holds true for our AIs.

To everyone who is against "sorority shopping" -- in your opinion, how many groups is too many to look at when searching? Should our AIs only pick one group to pursue, and if it doesn't work out, so be it?

[adduncan]

Thank you, ms_gwyn.

I've been MIA for a few months now due to pregnancy and other life issues (including holding a new office in my AC). I only noticed the recent AI drama when I got an automated email notice that people were adding to this thread.

You're right, there is a lot of insulting in those latest posts. But insulting AIs (including me) is just the tip of the iceberg.

Valkyrie et al are also insulting:

• sageofages - Pam Backstrom, a former national chairman who had investigated me quite thoroughly before asking me to consider Phi Mu. She was also my guide through initiation.
• Both the Alpha Pi and Theta Zeta collegiate chapters of Phi Mu. Both of which were willing to sponsor me. (Please read the "A New Hope" thread for the reason why this process began in one city and ended up in another.
• Both the Houston and Greater North Fulton alumnae chapters who were willing to sponsor me for membership.
  All of the above knew the details of this pursuit, including in these posts, and all of them had met me in person.

And most of all, they are insulting.....

• The National Council of Phi Mu who ultimately made the decision to issue my bid.

That's a lot of insults to lob around at people you've never met, or even PM'ed! (No, none of these people approached me with their issues. Suprised? I'm not.) The two eldest individuals involved in this little tempest in a toilet bowl are both Alpha Phi AIs. I wonder what part of the Alpha Phi creed this behaviour falls under?

So if there are any PHI MUs who doubt my sincerity as a sister and the process that got me there I'll be at the new HQ dedication at the end of September. Feel free to cross-examine me to your hearts' content. As the content of these posts confirm, I've never had anything to hide. I don't need to rely on e-courage to make my point.

Now since my OB has advised me to lay off the stress, I'm out of here. Those who know me know how to contact me.

Adrienne Duncan
President, Greater North Fulton Alumnae of Phi Mu
www.northfultonphimu.com

[Lil' Hannah]

The example you provided with faculty members being initiated is nothing like what we see here on GC. And I'm not insinuating that AIs can't be valuable, hardworking members of the sorority. I personally am very proud of the AI DGs that I've met on GC. Hell I'm proud of a lot of the AI women on GC.

I guess it seems that some bad apples are spoiling the bunch, perhaps? We see lots and lots of women who research, use the correct avenues, and use our favorite buzzword - discretion. But not all are like that and I think that's what has been bothering a lot of GCers about the AI forum.

In response to your question: "Should our AIs only pick one group to pursue, and if it doesn't work out, so be it?" There is nothing stopping a woman from persuing AI at a later time with that org. If you loved basketball, if it was your favorite game and basketball was in your heart but you got cut from the team, would you suddenly take up cheerleading? No, you'd work on your game in the off season and come back for try-outs next year.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Actually being contacted by the org and invited to meet the women is EXACTLY how AI is supposed to work in an ideal situation (which nothing is ever ideal). That is the preferred method.

It would be a little different (at least for me personally) if the woman contacting her had been part of a group who had already said no, but I doubt this is the case.

Ok, here is how I would recommend someone approach AI who is looking at it without an inside "pull". That is without knowing someone already in the group.

1) You research all 26 of the organizations and narrow it down to the few (4 or 5) that have values that mirror yours or speak to you.

2) Determine if those groups do AI. If it's a group where AI is VERY rare and you don't personally know a member of the group then I wouldn't waste the time.

3) You find out if those orgs have alumnae chapters near you. If they don't, then what's the point.

4) Get the contact info for those groups and contact them. Develop a list of questions that will help you further narrow the groups.

5) Attend an event if possible, but don't waste their time if you are still undecided.

6) Find the ONE that you want and devote time to that group getting to know them.

My AC requires our AI's to attend a number of our events to show their commitment. If that woman is doing the same for a number of groups, she's going to be VERY busy.

[WCUgirl]

Maybe it's b/c I haven't been on GC as long as some others, but other than mshoole (who we don't even know if she ever WAS initiated), but I haven't seen any "bad apples." Who are they?

[Tom Earp]

A very good explanation.

It does and can happen.

To may proof of the puddings on GC!

[33girl]

Originally posted by AXiD670
Maybe it's b/c I haven't been on GC as long as some others, but other than mshoole (who we don't even know if she ever WAS initiated)

She was not.

Thank you for providing me with a way to clear that up without my being unnecessarily mean.

[Rudey]

Don't worry. She has a history of insulting others and making false claims. She has put down GC before and is a pro at playing the victim.

-Rudey

Originally posted by Lil' Hannah
The example you provided with faculty members being initiated is nothing like what we see here on GC. And I'm not insinuating that AIs can't be valuable, hardworking members of the sorority. I personally am very proud of the AI DGs that I've met on GC. Hell I'm proud of a lot of the AI women on GC.

I guess it seems that some bad apples are spoiling the bunch, perhaps? We see lots and lots of women who research, use the correct avenues, and use our favorite buzzword - discretion. But not all are like that and I think that's what has been bothering a lot of GCers about the AI forum.

In response to your question: "Should our AIs only pick one group to pursue, and if it doesn't work out, so be it?" There is nothing stopping a woman from persuing AI at a later time with that org. If you loved basketball, if it was your favorite game and basketball was in your heart but you got cut from the team, would you suddenly take up cheerleading? No, you'd work on your game in the off season and come back for try-outs next year.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by adduncan

That's a lot of insults to lob around at people you've never met, or even PM'ed! (No, none of these people approached me with their issues. Suprised? I'm not.) The two eldest individuals involved in this little tempest in a toilet bowl are both Alpha Phi AIs. I wonder what part of the Alpha Phi creed this behaviour falls under?

Hold up.

HOLD. UP.

Adrienne, you know I consider you a friend an ally, and I held your hand through a lot of the stuff that happened prior to your becoming a Phi Mu. But you were TOTALLY out of line by questioning the Alpha Phi Creed. What is in that Creed and whether or not members of my Fraternity live up to that is none of your concern.

I understand that your feelings were hurt. I get that. But as I said in a message to you earlier, the actions of individuals should, in NO way, reflect on the mission, policies, and procedures of Alpha Phi International Fraternity.

Damn. Don't go stepping on my crest, and I won't go stepping on yours.

[midwesterngirl]

Originally posted by adduncan


That's a lot of insults to lob around at people you've never met, or even PM'ed! (No, none of these people approached me with their issues. Suprised? I'm not.) The two eldest individuals involved in this little tempest in a toilet bowl are both Alpha Phi AIs. I wonder what part of the Alpha Phi creed this behaviour falls under?

[/B]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
Hold up.

HOLD. UP.

Adrienne, you know I consider you a friend an ally, and I held your hand through a lot of the stuff that happened prior to your becoming a Phi Mu. But you were TOTALLY out of line by questioning the Alpha Phi Creed. What is in that Creed and whether or not members of my Fraternity live up to that is none of your concern.

I understand that your feelings were hurt. I get that. But as I said in a message to you earlier, the actions of individuals should, in NO way, reflect on the mission, policies, and procedures of Alpha Phi International Fraternity.

Damn. Don't go stepping on my crest, and I won't go stepping on yours.

Valkyrie just bumped your thread,she didn't write it. People are going to see perceive it how they want to perceive it good or bad. That is totally beyond your control. Looking at the replies directly after she bumped it,there were two totally different interpretations. Aries just provided a correct link to a totally different thread.

Neither of these instances gives you any right to question the creed of my organization and whether or not any individual member lives up to it.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by adduncan
Thank you, ms_gwyn.

I've been MIA for a few months now due to pregnancy and other life issues (including holding a new office in my AC). I only noticed the recent AI drama when I got an automated email notice that people were adding to this thread.

You're right, there is a lot of insulting in those latest posts. But insulting AIs (including me) is just the tip of the iceberg.

Valkyrie et al are also insulting:

• sageofages - Pam Backstrom, a former national chairman who had investigated me quite thoroughly before asking me to consider Phi Mu. She was also my guide through initiation.
• Both the Alpha Pi and Theta Zeta collegiate chapters of Phi Mu. Both of which were willing to sponsor me. (Please read the "A New Hope" thread for the reason why this process began in one city and ended up in another.
• Both the Houston and Greater North Fulton alumnae chapters who were willing to sponsor me for membership.
  All of the above knew the details of this pursuit, including in these posts, and all of them had met me in person.

And most of all, they are insulting.....

• The National Council of Phi Mu who ultimately made the decision to issue my bid.

That's a lot of insults to lob around at people you've never met, or even PM'ed! (No, none of these people approached me with their issues. Suprised? I'm not.) The two eldest individuals involved in this little tempest in a toilet bowl are both Alpha Phi AIs. I wonder what part of the Alpha Phi creed this behaviour falls under?

So if there are any PHI MUs who doubt my sincerity as a sister and the process that got me there I'll be at the new HQ dedication at the end of September. Feel free to cross-examine me to your hearts' content. As the content of these posts confirm, I've never had anything to hide. I don't need to rely on e-courage to make my point.

Now since my OB has advised me to lay off the stress, I'm out of here. Those who know me know how to contact me.

Adrienne Duncan
President, Greater North Fulton Alumnae of Phi Mu
www.northfultonphimu.com

Wow. Never have two little words accomplished so much insulting!