Hello! New and Needing help! :D (Mother/Daughter sorority)

[adeleilori]

You know, I don't typically like confrontation.. but I'm also a journalist and dont like for replies to go un-answered. But looking over the posts, maybe I just read things like this as a mean statement:

"Eh, if some greek letters on a t-shirt make her feel closer to her daughter, whatever." As insulting, where someone else would have seen them as a compliment or nothing at all. (but typically talking about someone like their not a part of the conversation is seen as rude).

All in all, I just came here for some advice, and instead of people saying "well, using someones letters, even the two of you, will make people upset?" Or asking questions like "Oh, that's different, why do that?" I got a whole slew of (what seemed to me) condiscending "why? seriously? for real?" and "Eh, if some greek letters on a t-shirt make her feel closer to her daughter, whatever." It could have all been my perception, I'm fine with that. It's clearly obvious that I know NOTHING about sorority's, never wanted to be in one, never have been in one, never have even looked into one! But thought it woudl have been neat for my 9 yr old.. this situation was my very first experience with a group of people in sororities and although it was not at all a good one, I'm gonna chalk it up to just THIS place, misunderstanding, whatever.. I'll make sure we emphasis some kindness, and helpfulness in my daughters little group though.. I'll tell her all about this encounter I had, and I'll make sure to find letters that are not being used by anyone!

Thanks ya'll

[DZsis&mom]

Sorry I'm late to this little Club....but I have a few things to add.

First) Have you ever heard of that little organization called THE GIRL SCOUTS?? You want to really bond with your daughter & do stuff, form a troop & be the leader. I did it for 6 years. Some of the best memories my oldest daughter had was me doing that for her.

Second) Most of us are moms, & quite a few of us are "old" (just ask) so it isn't like we don't understand you trying something different with your precious girl.

Third) My oldest had a group of friends who got together every Tuesday after school & us moms would join along. The girls ended up naming the TAS club (Tuesday After School) - not random Greek letters picked by us moms. A club is a club to a little girl no matter what you call it.

Forth) I don't understand if you are journalist that you didn't understand the importance of Greek Life from being in college (unless you got your degree online). Then you come to GC & I believe you didn't read any of the previous post or you would have understood the confusion by stating your randomly wanted to Make a Greek Sorority for you & your daughter.

I have more...But I don't care to go on.

[adeleilori]

Originally Posted by DZsis&mom

Sorry I'm late to this little Club....but I have a few things to add.

First) Have you ever heard of that little organization called THE GIRL SCOUTS?? You want to really bond with your daughter & do stuff, form a troop & be the leader. I did it for 6 years. Some of the best memories my oldest daughter had was me doing that for her.

Second) Most of us are moms, & quite a few of us are "old" (just ask) so it isn't like we don't understand you trying something different with your precious girl.

Third) My oldest had a group of friends who got together every Tuesday after school & us moms would join along. The girls ended up naming the TAS club (Tuesday After School) - not random Greek letters picked by us moms. A club is a club to a little girl no matter what you call it.

Forth) I don't understand if you are journalist that you didn't understand the importance of Greek Life from being in college (unless you got your degree online). Then you come to GC & I believe you didn't read any of the previous post or you would have understood the confusion by stating your randomly wanted to Make a Greek Sorority for you & your daughter.

I have more...But I don't care to go on.

I have heard of the girl scouts, but she's more intersted in doing things one on one with mom.. From the initial comments, and the many why's? It did seem as if no one understood me trying to do something different with her, but now I see that it may have been why the letters? why a sorority type club? but I wouldn't have known that initially.. I think we're all clear about that now though.. and now that I've learned the importance of these letters, I'll be using something else..

I'm glad TAS worked for you're girls.. I'll come up with something just as cute for my little one, and be sure not to do the greek letters, I get it now thanks to some of the ladies here!

I'm not sure I really get what you're saying in your last point there. but, yes, I am a journalist, graduated form Ga State University and had no dealings with greek life, so not sure why its confusing that I didn't know the importance of the letters. Because I never mingled with greeks, all I saw were people with letters.. thats it really.. didnt' really glean anything deeper and never thought a second time about it. Just thought of them like the other clubs on campus, but with sister hoods and houses, I guess.. I did actually read the posts, but they didnt' help me understand anything, most of them (not all) simply said "why?" that didn't lead to any further education on how greeks feel about their letters.. lol! But further into the conversation, some deeper conversation began to develop that did lead to understanding.. and that's what helped me get it. Thanks!

[IrishLake]

Whatever you end up deciding, I wish you the best. I'm glad you've relaxed a bit and can appreciate things a little from our perspective. Cherish the time with her now! Before you know it, she will be wanting to do everything with her friends and she'll be 16 and hanging with mom won't be nearly as fun!

[IrishLake]

(Random off topic but the Girl Scouts mention made me remember it... did anyone else see the story about the state politician in Indiana that pulled his daughters out of Girl Scouts because he believes he's found evidence that TGS are a cover for a hidden Planned Parenthood agenda to corrupt the youth in the organization?)

[adeleilori]

yeah, so very true!! Thanks!

[knight_shadow]

What a crock of shit.

[DZsis&mom]

I have a REAL problem with you bringing up your daughter's need to have "mommy & daughter" time with a house full of "boys". I think it is YOU who has a need, not her.

LOL...my son grew up with all girls: mom, sisters & damn even our dogs were female....but he didn't "need" boy time with dad.

What are these parents doing to these kids today? I do not understand.

Bill Cosby taught us: if we brought them into this world, we had a right to take them out. (damn he is brilliant)

to: now moms are forming individual sororities for their daughters for "special" time.

Give me a FREAKIN" Break!!!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DZsis&mom

Bill Cosby taught us: if we brought them into this world, we had a right to take them out. (damn he is brilliant)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAFg4zY2itg

One of my favorite exchanges on this show!

This is all I have to contribute to this thread.

[DZsis&mom]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAFg4zY2itg

One of my favorite exchanges on this show!

This is all I have to contribute to this thread.

LOL...& my quote was from his Stand up from the early 80's... a lot of it ended up in the show.

Thank you for posting....it was my favorite show!!!!

[jessica.lanelle]

I usually keep quiet, but I have to say something here. If people see you guys in public wearing that stuff, they are going to laugh.
Now I am going to go start a co ed sorority for my dogs. They are like my kids, and I do need to bond with them more. Hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

[DubaiSis]

As 4th child of 5, and 4th within 5 years, I understand the desire to spend one on one time with mom. We got our time together when she drove me to swim team to be around other kids and gain confidence by being good at something other than academics. I don't necessarily have a problem with home schooling, but when it's done correctly (and I have seen it done correctly) the kids get out and away from mom and dad on a very frequent basis, play in sports, participate in Girl Scouts (or one of the other myriad groups for girls that moms can also participate in), and perform community service. Finding another way to be only at home and only with mom can only be unhealthy.

Whether you call it a sorority or a club, it's still creepy and feels like the first 5 minutes of the Lifetime Original that ends with Mom throwing herself and all of her kids off a cliff. And no, I'm not kidding. I think both you and ALL of your children need help.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

As 4th child of 5, and 4th within 5 years, I understand the desire to spend one on one time with mom. We got our time together when she drove me to swim team to be around other kids and gain confidence by being good at something other than academics. I don't necessarily have a problem with home schooling, but when it's done correctly (and I have seen it done correctly) the kids get out and away from mom and dad on a very frequent basis, play in sports, participate in Girl Scouts (or one of the other myriad groups for girls that moms can also participate in), and perform community service. Finding another way to be only at home and only with mom can only be unhealthy.

Whether you call it a sorority or a club, it's still creepy and feels like the first 5 minutes of the Lifetime Original that ends with Mom throwing herself and all of her kids off a cliff. And no, I'm not kidding. I think both you and ALL of your children need help.

This is what I was thinking, but I didn't want to say it.

I don't have kids, and I won't pretend to be an expert on the subject.. However, if your daughter is spending her entire day with you, and she wants to be with you more, I don't think you should then try to create an exclusive club that includes only the two of you.

Again, a group like the Girl Scouts (or something similar) provides a good opportunity for your daughter to spend time with you, but to also branch out and meet other young girls her own age.. Which is very important at this stage in her life. You don't want to pull her in more and inadvertantly make her attached to you. I've seen it happen - one of my friends in college did EVERYTHING with her mom growing up (almost every story she told started with, "My mom and I..") and then she couldn't even get a C on a paper without calling her mom and crying about it. She dropped out halfway through her sophomore year to go to a community college 10 minutes from her house.

It's great that your daughter wants to spend time with you.. Just make sure she's getting out and meeting other people. And don't try to "shut out" the outside world by creating an exclusive group for just the two of you. You're mother and daughter.. That's a pretty special club in and of itself.

And if your daughter saw the show Greek and is interested in what Greek life is about, explain to her that sororities are groups that girls join in college, and when she gets to college, she can try to join one too.

[MysticCat]

Everything else aside, I really don't understand why some are finding it so hard to believe that it's possible (very possible in my experience, if not the norm) for people to go to a school with Greek life and still know next to nothing about fraternities and sororities beyond what popular culture has told them. If Greek life wasn't on their radar screen while they were in school, and if their social circle in school didn't intersect with Greek circles, why would they really know anything about it, especially if the school was a large one where it is quite possible to go without really interacting with Greeks?

[AXOmom]

^^^Speaking as one of those people - yes to all of the above (and for the record I agree with everyone else that this whole thing is too weird for words, but hey, if a club makes her daughter happy and her happy...whatever).

Now back to MysticCat's point......


Als463, I don't know what the campus culture is like at Georgia State. Maybe Greek life is the dominant social force there and a person would have to be a hermit not to have some passing awareness of how Greek life works and what it means, and I agree with you that there are several other holes in this story. Still, I can tell you as someone who attended what I think is a typical public university, with a typical size Greek system and a typical percentage of the student body involved that I wouldn't have had a clue how Greeks viewed their letters, whether or not they were important to them, or how they differed from any other campus club and/or organization.

I had some friendly aquaintances that were Greek, but I couldn't have told you at the time what chapter they were in or whether or not it meant anything to them - never came up in our casual conversation. I had a general awareness of where our Greek row (or block) was located and I knew where the two houses they used to film "Animal House" were at because that was an orientation requirement (LOL). That was the sum total of what I and any of my friends knew about Greek life or, frankly, cared to know at the time.

In addition (and this may be a regional thing), I met many people after college who were in fraternities and sororities in college; I can tell you that most, not all, didn't take it any more seriously than I took my college activites. To them, it was strictly something they did as a way to make friends and have some fun while they were in school. On that basis I can understand why it might not occur to the mom that some people would find this offensive. That some people would find it freakin' weird - okay, that should have occured to her.