Concerns for Boyfriend going through Recruitment

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by dnall

I like the SEC in terms of history & also a lot of fraternity chapters but that's not restricted to SEC, not so much sororities, which are large also.

Honestly 70-115ish is solid for any greek org. You have enough money to operate at a high level, but you also have few enough people to be close to them & avoid too much cliqueiness as long as you really stay on top of it.

Disclaimer: Seriously, no offense to chapters bigger or smaller than that, I'm just stating an opinion.

Disclaimer2: why are disclaimers necessary?


Of course there's more to it then that. I'm far from imperfect, but she had some issues about the age thing beyond just the age thing between us & beyond the constant shit from outside, that compounded with some family stressors to put it beyond dealing with anymore. It's a painful situation for both of us, and ultimately about a huge laundry list of things, the vast majority of which were less about our direct one-on-one relationship than... well just other outside things.

In any case, I appreciate the understanding. I'm quite confident though that GC is not the place to go for therapy.

You can have your opinions, we all do, but what you believe is right and proper is unrealistic for many schools, let alone other fraternities, sororities, and beyond that groups that aren't historically and predominantly white and Christian.

It is hard not to take offense when you have posts like these:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...10#post2027910

Originally Posted by dnall

I don't know how many "pacific" chapters you've visited of any fraternity, but they are just not the same. Greek life in a lot of places in those regions is not strong. Many of those chapters don't care much about the ritual. I would prefer not to expand strongly in those directions. Not when there is so much other fertile territory elsewhere. Especially in places we've had chapters before.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...97#post2029697

Originally Posted by dnall

Greek life in the west sucks. It's a different thing completely. Unless you've spent some time around it in the south or on the east cost and to a lesser extent some places in the central US, you really don't understand what I'm saying.

In any case, this is an ATO asking about expansion in a geographic area where most locations are very weak. Nationals will try to keep things geographically balanced to some degree, but ultimately it's a business. You want big strong stable chapters with higher percentages of alumni that stay involved, preferably from schools where they have a better chance at doing well in life.

Why would I support going to a school with flat to declining recruiting numbers that support average chapters of 30 guys? Especially when I can go a dozen other places that will jump quickly to 70-90 guys and have strong regional alumni support.

There is also your post about groups shutting down or reinventing, which is also insulting. There are ways to express an opinion to get people to engage in a constructive dialog, which I find difficult to do when I read your posts. Why discuss something with someone who has a narrow focus and idea and can't or won't see the ideas and opinions of others without belittling or insulting people in the process?

[Regina.George]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

You can have your opinions, we all do, but what you believe is right and proper is unrealistic for many schools, let alone other fraternities, sororities, and beyond that groups that aren't historically and predominantly white and Christian.

It is hard not to take offense when you have posts like these:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...10#post2027910



http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...97#post2029697



There is also your post about groups shutting down or reinventing, which is also insulting. There are ways to express an opinion to get people to engage in a constructive dialog, which I find difficult to do when I read your posts. Why discuss something with someone who has a narrow focus and idea and can't or won't see the ideas and opinions of others without belittling or insulting people in the process?

My favorite was this one, in speaking about all GLOS that are not historically white:

Originally Posted by dnall

I would say their founding was short sighted. They have lost their purpose & therefore should dissolve or remake themselves with a new change the world purpose. Otherwise it's sitting in a car that's out of gas blasting the radio and pressing on the pedals thinking you're getting to your destination. I'd rather see them out of the way so those members will go to orgs that do actively have a serious change the world mission to accomplish.

Now that we let 'those folks' in, those other shortsighted organizations have no purpose.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Regina.George

My favorite was this one, in speaking about all GLOS that are not historically white:



Now that we let 'those folks' in, those other shortsighted organizations have no purpose.

I guess every org should just rename themselves ATO and be done with it.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by dnall

In any case, I appreciate the understanding. I'm quite confident though that GC is not the place to go for therapy.

Au Contraire, Mon Frère. That's exactly what we do here.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Au Contraire, Mon Frère. That's exactly what we do here.

Seriously, KSUViolet should gets hours towards a professional requirement in "a helping profession" for how nice she's been to some people in the recruitment forum. We already have our own GC DSM thread.

Is it therapeutic if sometimes coming to GC and reading certain posts or posters makes me feel more confident and grounded in how awesome my life and choices are? Should I ask if GC can receive some of my Health and Wellness insurance benefit?

I doubt they'd cover any medical issue arising from meat in a sink or GC after dark, how would that be coded? We better hope Planned Parenthood stays open and funded if people with meaty sinks are blowing up twatter.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I doubt they'd cover any medical issue arising from meat in a sink or GC after dark, how would that be coded? We better hope Planned Parenthood stays open and funded if people with meaty sinks are blowing up twatter.

I think those are covered by STD/Short-term Disability.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I think those are covered by STD/Short-term Disability.

I think a short term mental disability was present to contract anything from meat in a sink willingly, and I don't think shame or hysteria would count as a short term disability after the fact.

If it can be cured by antibiotics I don't think there's a short term disability unless there's a disfiguring rash or someone is unable to walk or sit. Of course 100 years ago female hysteria would often result in a prescribed orgasm at the doctor's office, therefore preventing contact with any meat.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by dnall

Honestly 70-115ish is solid for any greek org. You have enough money to operate at a high level, but you also have few enough people to be close to them & avoid too much cliqueiness as long as you really stay on top of it.

Disclaimer: Seriously, no offense to chapters bigger or smaller than that, I'm just stating an opinion.

Disclaimer2: why are disclaimers necessary?

Because you use words like "any" in the bolded statement, which risks transforming your opinion of what is good to a generalization so broad as to be meaningless.

You speak from a specific experience: a large NIC fraternity. And you speak with a specific bias: SEC or SEC-like schools. There is nothing wrong with the NIC, the SEC or your experience. But the Greek world is much bigger than the NIC or the SEC, and it's much, much bigger than your experience. Ditto the slice of the Greek world represented on GreekChat.

There are campuses where your "solid" 70-115-person-chapter would be ludicrous. There are people who have no desire to be part of chapters that big. There are fraternities and sororities that would never consider chapters of that size because (and this should strike a chord with you) their experience is that chapters that large hinder their mission. One size doesn't fit all, even when that size is 70-115.

Avoid over-generalizing and speaking as though your fraternity experience defines the fraternity experience and you can avoid the disclaimers.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

Seriously, KSUViolet should gets hours towards a professional requirement in "a helping profession" for how nice she's been to some people in the recruitment forum. We already have our own GC DSM thread.

Is it therapeutic if sometimes coming to GC and reading certain posts or posters makes me feel more confident and grounded in how awesome my life and choices are? Should I ask if GC can receive some of my Health and Wellness insurance benefit?

I doubt they'd cover any medical issue arising from meat in a sink or GC after dark, how would that be coded? We better hope Planned Parenthood stays open and funded if people with meaty sinks are blowing up twatter.

I personally come to GC during the workday to get my crazy out. While I do belong to several groups and organizations that do appreciate my particular sense of humor, my workplace is not one of them.