Defense of Alumni Initiation Sub Forum

[tinydancer]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Because people are sorority shopping and I don't like it. I also don't want some woman coming into Gamma Phi after 7 other sororities have rejected her. I think the idea of AI is absolutely wonderful and I am thrilled that my sorority offers it, but it makes me very sad to think that some women expect us to take them after they've been rejected elsewhere. They should want us for who we are and what we stand for, not because we're all they can get.

I agree with my sister. That last sentence says it all.

[ms_gwyn]

Originally posted by ASUADPi
Okay if someone is going to publically announce that she was dropped by 7 houses, yes you would be concerned but on the flip side unless I'm a member of those houses I don't know the reason for it.

When she was in college it could have been because of her GPA. Automatically at some schools on the first night of FR girls are dropped specifically b/c of GPA. So let's say she had a GPA of 3.4 but the cutoff is 3.5, so automatically she would be dropped.

I say this because it's not for us to hold it (being dropped from houses) against them. We don't know why these houses dropped them. And even if someone on GC happens to know this potentail AI, that person would only know the reason their house dropped them.

I'm sure there is always a part of us that is thinking "they are only interested in us because they couldn't get the other one". But the same thing goes with FR and those girls get the benefit of the doubt.

We need to do the same thing for the PNAM's.

I was writing the same thing...you've said it some much better.

to add: they may be looking for a group to show devotion to and be the best sister they could possibly be, or they could have been dropped by all 25 groups and 1 picked them....It all depends on the culture of the AC and if the GLO on the national level is willing to say, go for it....who are "we" to say..no? She may just become the most dedicated member of that AC.

I understand the point of not wanting "letter-wearers", but I think that is a concern on both the collegiate level and the alumna level.

I am not targeting ANY group by any means....

but just because Alpha Psi Omega has 20 AIs (on a messageboard) doesn't mean that their standards are lower than Sigma Beta Delta. And if any person, within the org or a PNAM thinks that...they should be doing their own self-evaluation.

I will be honest and say that yes, when looking at websites and reading the missions statements/creeds/purpose. I felt a connection with each and every organization, because of the beauty of the statements. And a glimpse of each organization stood for…. Did that make me want to email ALL 26 GLOs? No. I had a list I believe of 6 GLOs that I was very interested and we know my story from there, why should I rehash it here.

I understand that most of us would like to plan for the worst case scenario and lets face it, it does happen, but not on average.

[Tom Earp]

Maybe, just maybe, they are just searching to find a group to be with.

Shopping as an AI is not all bad even though some think it is so vile. Dont Undergrads Shop when in Rush?

They dont know. Giving advice is a heck of a lot better than giving a kick in the teeth or at least a bad taste against GLOs.

If they dont find or stick, then it is no skin off of anyones nose on this site is IT?

Maybe the 7 House Dropped Poster was so dropped for reasons that not a one of us know, then let it go!

She may just have aspiations, whether She makes it or not is a different story.

Let the Local AC handle it.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Because people are sorority shopping and I don't like it. I also don't want some woman coming into Gamma Phi after 7 other sororities have rejected her. I think the idea of AI is absolutely wonderful and I am thrilled that my sorority offers it, but it makes me very sad to think that some women expect us to take them after they've been rejected elsewhere. They should want us for who we are and what we stand for, not because we're all they can get.

Thank you. To those who would say that this doesn't happen, it does.

[SFHopefull!]

I think the difference between "maximizing the options" and "shopping" is HUGE! HUGE!

I've learned alot from my process, as short as it has been so far. Here are my thoughts...

There is a differnece between the woman who contacted four or five groups she felt a particular connection with, and contacting twenty. It's one thing if all four groups you contacted respond that they don't do AI, don't have an alumna chapter in your area, etc., and then to move on to more groups. But to contact 13 at once is a slap in the face to those who are already members and those who are still finding their way. Also, remember that just becuase the person doesn't openly post she's contacted 20 groups doesn't mean that she hasn't. I know of two different women who've contacted over ten at the same time.

I'm not a sorority member, but a PNAM. In my opinion, what's the point of contacting that many groups at once? Yes, the 26 NPC groups are all outstanding - that's why they've stood the test of time - but I would seriously question the woman who felt the need to contact over six or seven at the same time. And I'm not even a member. It is not true to the process, not true to your *future* org, and not true to yourself. Joining a sorority, in my opinion, is not just something you do on a whim. It is a huge commitment. In my opinion, those who join as AIs should be (in theory) more committed and wasn't just 'something they did in college' (this may be the sister I hope to be talking - not that anybody on GC is like this - obviosly you are all extremly commmitted to your respetive groups otehrwise you wouldn't even be on this website, but I do belive I have read a thread on here that only a quarter of women stay involved with their sorority after college) becuase they've gone they've already taken the initiative to go the non-traditional route.

Finally, I am a firm believer that you get out of the experience what you put in. Contacting over a certain amount of groups at the same time dillutes your experience. If that person still finds her AI home, she knows that she contacted 25 groups before the one that was hers. Just becuase your sisters don't know that's how you ended up a part of the organization does not make it any less of a reality, and that is something the AI needs to live with herself.

(please don't flame me if you disagree - of course I realize there are exceptions to everything I wrote above and nothing is set in stone!)

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Very well said.

And GC is just like any other aspect of life. Just because someone doesn't openly post how many orgs they contacted, doesn't mean we don't know...........or can "just tell".

And to those who say that the collegiates shop, well that's because WE force them to. We are the ones who tell them how recruitment works so all they can do is play along.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by ms_gwyn
Just trust your org and your sisters to do the right thing for their AC and GLO.

Exactly.

If my collegiate sisters have spoken, I will listen.

[kddani]

Some of you that are pursuing AI but have not been given an invitation to join as of yet:

Did you ever think if GC was hurting your chances? There are relatively few AIs out there, and your posts usually give a sufficient amount of detail about you that it would be easy to determine who you are if a person was familiar with those pursuing AI with their org.

There are national and international officers of many of the groups that actively AI on this board every day. There's many that just lurk and don't post, some who openly post, and some who post but you have no idea they're an NO or IO.

I'm not saying this has happened, because I'm not privy to that sort of info.

But just like in the recruitment threads, discretion is key, and many of you would be pretty easy to identify.

Originally posted by kddani
Some of you that are pursuing AI but have not been given an invitation to join as of yet:

Did you ever think if GC was hurting your chances?

I've read the posts from the GCers who believe that "AI Shopping" isn't necessarily a bad thing -- especially since PNMs go "Sorority Shopping" when they go through Rush.

I do know that collegiate recruitment and pursuing AI are two very situations, so I'm not gonna even touch on that.

But....if we're going to draw similarities between the two pursuits, we've seen in past rushes how something posted on GC by a PNM actually hurt her bid day chances. I'm going to assume that the same can happen for a woman seeking AI.

[blueangel]

This thread is starting to smack of "elitism." What is wrong with a woman who has been "cut hard" in college pursuing AI?

Are we now down to labeling people and branding them for life?
I find this attitude quite disturbing.

Did you know that Rachel Welch was bullied mercilessly in school because of her height? I remember her telling Johnny Carson that she was an outcast.

Think of the "outcasts" who end up founding software companies worth billions of dollars.

Remember too... sometimes the "in" group in school find themselves "out" later in life.

My perception of what I'm reading in this thread is "fear". It seems that there is fear about the "status" of AI.. as if this forum somehow "cheapens" AI or "cheapens" their sorority.

It doesn't. It simply provides a place where women who, for one reason or another, didn't join a sorority in college, and now wish to be of service to one later in life can find out information and share their journey.

Originally posted by blueangel


My perception of what I'm reading in this thread is "fear". It seems that there is fear about the "status" of AI.. as if this forum somehow "cheapens" AI or "cheapens" their sorority.

I've never thought of AI as something that would lessen the value of my sorority.

However, I do see GC as an instrument that can lessen the value of the AI process.

When a sorority takes down its public info regarding AI off their website to review their AI policies, and when other sororities follow suit and attempt to clearly define to their members how to go about sponsoring someone for AI, then it's something to think about. I'm not saying that it was GC's fault, but for a while not too long ago -- the AI market was hot and on fire for GC PNAMs.

I'd hate for a PNAM to AI into AGD because she got an easy break from someone on GC. I'm not saying that it happens to everyone, but I know it has happened before.

[Sister Havana]

Originally posted by kddani
Some of you that are pursuing AI but have not been given an invitation to join as of yet:

Did you ever think if GC was hurting your chances? There are relatively few AIs out there, and your posts usually give a sufficient amount of detail about you that it would be easy to determine who you are if a person was familiar with those pursuing AI with their org.

Granted, I may not be the best one to answer this question since my AI pursuit has been kind of on the back burner for quite a while while I get other things in my life stabilized. I would hope not, though. I try not to post things here that I'd be embarrassed to be identified with, if that makes any sense. But that's my general rule for all the places I post. You never know who's out there.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by OTW
...sorority takes down its public info regarding AI off their website to review their AI policies, and when other sororities follow suit and attempt to clearly define to their members how to go about sponsoring someone for AI, then it's something to think about.

OTW, you ain't never lied.

[SFHopefull!]

Do I think posting on GC is hurting my chances with the AI process? I honestly don't know. I haven't thought of that before now. I haven't met or heard back from any groups yet. I've only been pursuing this since June, but if I haven't heard back from the few groups I contacted becuase of something I've said on here then that's too bad. I don't think I've said anything that isn't true, and I don't think I have the wrong motivation to want to pursue AI.

As for an AI having an 'easy break' becuase of a relationship she's made on GC...I don't know what to say to that. I can understand why making a friend on GC who's in the org a woman is interesting in can help her get her foot in the door that group, but I really don't think that would be the only reason why the woman was initiated. I am not sure if I am understanding exactly what you mean OTW, so I don't really know how to respond to that. For me, there is one woman on GC that I've spoken with about her organization. If that does help me with her group, than I think that's great. However, I do belive it is up to me to make a great impression upon this group if and when I meet with them. They are not going to initiate me becuase of a relationship I have with a person on GC. If nothing comes between me and the group of the woman I've been pming with on GC, that's fine too becuase I really like that woman, I've made a friend out of the situtation, and it obviously wasn't a 'fit' between me and that org.

I never went through recruitment, but, the woman who was cut hard from recruitment in college wanted to AI, she would have to look at her motivation for wanting to join as an AI just like anybody else would. If she came to the conclusion that her motivations for wanting to join as AI are grounded, than of course I see nothing wrong with that.

If you consider all the women who've come to greekchat with the wrong 'motivation' for joining as an AI (just for the letters, etc), how many of them have actually found a home? I've only been reading the board since January or something, posting since May or June, but I haven't read one successful AI story of somebody that turned out to be a trainwreck.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by blueangel
This thread is starting to smack of "elitism." What is wrong with a woman who has been "cut hard" in college pursuing AI?

Are we now down to labeling people and branding them for life?
I find this attitude quite disturbing.

Did you know that Rachel Welch was bullied mercilessly in school because of her height? I remember her telling Johnny Carson that she was an outcast.

Think of the "outcasts" who end up founding software companies worth billions of dollars.

Remember too... sometimes the "in" group in school find themselves "out" later in life.

My perception of what I'm reading in this thread is "fear". It seems that there is fear about the "status" of AI.. as if this forum somehow "cheapens" AI or "cheapens" their sorority.

It doesn't. It simply provides a place where women who, for one reason or another, didn't join a sorority in college, and now wish to be of service to one later in life can find out information and share their journey.

I find the fact that you have been a ZTA for about five minutes and yet you think you know everything there is to know about being in a sorority everywhere at any time disturbing. You have a lot to learn.