"You'll end up where you were meant to"...

[roxydiva]

ill bite, and add my two cents!

as some of you might know, i rushed at IU this past...fall/winter. whatever. i dropped out after the first round, disappointed in the houses that had asked me back. then i participated in COB, and was only asked by one of the houses that i didnt return to during formal rush. now i went to this house, and while they were nice, i knew it wasnt for me. now many people on here understood my point of view, others were disappointed i did not keep going during formal. now the opportunity is somewhat arisen that i am one of the girls that is helping attempt to bring tri sigma back to IU. i couldnt be happier (though if it doesnt work out...i might be just a TAD upset!) and i realize that this was meant to be for me. i knew when i dropped out of COB that it wasnt the end of my greek opportunity.

now im sure there are plenty of circumstances where people dont not end up in the houses they were "meant to be in" or what not, but i think for the most part, it all works out the way its supposed to, and it all happens for a reason. hope you all enjoyed my story!

roxydiva

[StarGirl02]

My first rush was something I wish I could forget. I was having a great time, till our 4th round picks came along. Getting a call from my PX just minutes before meeting up with my rush group and saying "you didn't get any bids back," upset me, and I was in tears. What made it even worse was the fact that every other rushee in my rush group got a bid on Bid Day. Like any other person, I was upset, and I started to think if this was something i really wanted. And another thing that really hurt was when a PX told some other girls and I something to the point of, if you make it to the 3rd round, you'll get a bid. When COB events started coming up, I figured, what would it hurt to go? Still, nothing happened.

Then came informal rush. By this time, I knew this was something I wanted. And I guess in a way, I was kind of lucky, b/c I knew which sororities I wanted to visit. But again, nothing came of it. Talk about being slapped across the face twice.

Luckily, everything worked out in the end, and now I'm with a great group of girls, who I love dearly.

[Glitter650]

Although my school's rush isn't competetive AT ALL (we only have 3 NPC sorors) and half of the people on our campus don't care if we exist or not and most people outside the greek system don't even know the reps of any group...I have to say I'm one of those girls who ended up where I belong.... and it was quite a road for me to get there... I know in a larger system that is very hard for EVERYONE to say... however I think if a lot of people that think they "belonged" in "top tier" sororities really thought about why they wanted to belong it may be for the wrong reasons. I believe what truly makes a woman "fit" in a sorority is personality... not their stats on a piece of paper. I mean of course what they've done before rush and their GPA can say something about a PNM, but I'm just trying to say that just because someone is beautiful, has a 4.0, discovered the cure for aids when she was 12, figured out a way to end world hunger, and cleans up the highway in her spare time doesn't mean she should assume she belongs in a "top tier" sorority.
That point aside, and getting back to the point it seems to me(PURELY MY OPINION) some of these "top tier sec sororities" are picking girls for the wrongs reasons... and that seems to be more the problem than us here at GC telling us they will end up where they belong...

[FuzzieAlum]

I think that every top tier sorority eventually rolls down and someone else bubbles up to the top. The chapter that was #1 when I rushed is now definitely #3 in terms of recruitment, and the group that was #1 when I graduated seems to have been replaced by yet another chapter.

I think a chapter really becomes "top tier" through the luck (?) of getting a few strong, go-getting members who really influence the organization and draw new girls in. But in the process of getting the most popular, beautiful, smart girls, it's inevitable that some people will think they are snobs, and the next round of go-getters go somewhere else, bringing their house up to the top.

At least, that's my theory.

[nycgirl]

It is so interesting to hear that girls visit colleges and sororities before they attend. It is also wierd to imagine going to a college where you know a lot of people from high school. what happens to girls from out of state who rush. I am especially interested in this because my younger sister considering applying to some big southern schools. being from ny she doesn't know many people in sororities except me and my friends, and definetely would not know anyone at a southern school (in fact i don't think she knows anyone living south of jersey. would this put her at a huge disadvantage for rush? what are some things that might help her?

[Lil_ChiO_Lady]

nycgirl--
I was in the same shoes as your sister..I came from out of state from the eastcoast as well (Philly) and I moved to Texas...I didn't know much about Greeks and was a little worried about the whole "RUSH THING"..It seemed difficult in the beginning b/c getting referances for me was a pain in the ass to get and I was truely worried b/c I thought these girls are gonna look at me differently for not being a local and I know nothing about the city and OMG,lol...

She just has to be herself going into rush and not stress it, there isn't a disadvantage to being from out-of-state unless you make it a negative..They really get very interested knowing a rushee is not from around the area..They take advantage of that fact and welcome you with open arms..

I found out it was such an easy outlet in conversations.It helped me to talk about myself and my background and they learned so much about me and it really helped for them and I to make my decision in choosing of where I wanted to be..So in my opinion it was actually easier to be from out of state and also you don't know anyone from your high school that you may already have pre-concieved notions about.It is starting anew and making a great impression on these ppl who are gonna be your lifelong friends.I have found myself to be a more confident,outgoing person with leadership skills that I never thought I had.It is pretty BADASS!

Chi Omega-"Womanly Always,Discouraged Never"

[justamom]

I have to agree with Lil_ChiO_Lady, It isn't a negative. In fact, it can be much better if you DON'T have a "history" with girls from your HS. When you walk into a chapter that has even a FEW girls you know, it doesn't always turn out as you might hope. Old rivalries, stereotypes, or something as minute as a single moment in time that you "weren't at your best" can pop into the memory of active members. Last year, some of the girls that shared activities with active members were cut right off the bat-legacy or not. It could be traced back to competition in HS. In some of the cases, the girls expected it. Here it is, a year later and a couple of the Moms are STILL upset over the outcome and the PERCEIVED reasons behind the "snub". If you had a glowing reputaton and "everybody just LOVED you", of course it can help.
The most beneficial relationships seemed to be those where families were socially intertwined and the younger girls were friends of a respected active member. This leaves a lot of room for all the great girls that let their personality and CONFIDENCE shine though during rush.

[blueyes]

It also depends upon the school. If you're going to one that has a very competitive Greek system and just "show up" for rush with a few recs you stand a good chance of getting lost in the numbers.

We work on rush all summer, with the actives from each city (or area) meeting weekly and sifting through the possibles. By the time rush begins we have a pretty good work-up on most PNMs.
They're always a few surprises, but not as many as you'd think considering we pledged 70 last year. This is the only way you can effectively handle it when almost a thousand PNMs are coming through the first parties.

[AlphaChiCutie]

At my school, approximately 1300-1400 girls rush each fall, and we are only second to Ole Miss as the most competitive rush in the nation. Most of the girls who go through are from Atlanta or other large cities in Georgia and are some of the most beautiful college co-eds around. That being said, sorority rush there is sometimes compared to the male "Hell Week" (even though many greek people don't like that word, it happens on our campus at least). Anyways, I had my heart set on a certain prestigious sorority but was cut after 2nd round because a certain girl and I just "didn't click," despite all the other people I knew there who liked me. I ended up pledging Alpha Chi, and although it was not where I ever thought I'd be, it turned out to be a great choice. In the end, the phrase "you'll end up where you are supposed to" turned out to mean something more like "you may not end up where you thought you would, but you'll still end up in a happy place and your life will go on." I've told several younger friends who are about to go through rush at different schools to keep an open mind. Even though I'm not where I thought I'd be, I'm just happy to be in the greek system. It's been a very rewarding experience.

[ROWDYsister]

I went to UF with my best friends from high school but I didn't know one Greek soul. I doubt that had any effect on whether I got a bid or not, b/c even in the most competitive Greek systems, it boils down to whether or not you like the sorority and they like you. I knew absolutely nothing about Greek life but I clicked with the girls. All your sister has to do is learn as much as she can about each of the sororities during rush and just be herself. Seriously, I think many houses consider it more important to have someone who is fun and well-rounded and would make a good contribution to the house than a girl who has her nose in the air and is snobby but is beautiful. These are going to be your sisters, after all, not your cover girls...I'm sure you know that, being in a sorority yourself. Knowing other girls is a nice reassurance during such a stressful week but is by no means necessary.

AphaPhiCutie, it's so funny that you refer to Recruitment Week as "Hell Week," too. It was the hardest, longest week, and if any frat guy ever has the nerve to think that we didn't "earn" our initiations b/c our pledge periods were easy, then they obviously do not understand how taxing "water parties" can be.

[bets]

Ooh what a tricky little topic this is.

I have conflicting thoughts on this, so bear with me.

1. in my case, I pref'd the 2 "best" sororities, and then the "weak". I chose the smaller "weaker" sorority b/c I am a girl that LOVES to be in the center of attention, and I like to speak out and be heard. Part of my decision process was that I knew I would be able to stand out better, be better able to hold offices, etc. in the latter. I TOTALLY agree that sororities that seem weak may not really be, conversely, strong, may not be strong. After being in my chapter for 6 years, I would not change a thing. I have realized that I have probably worked harder for my sorority than anything else in my life, and it has made me a world of a better person for it. And in that work, I have found the beauty and strength of my so-called weak chapter.

2. AND , in the last few years, i have seen the TOPS go down a bit, the BOTTOMS come up a bit, and like college, realized collegiate sorority life is cylical, and is constantly evolving every four years.

3. On the other hand, I don't think everybody goes where they are meant to be. I rushed with my real sister, we never discussed ANYTHING, b/c we wanted to make our own decisions.
She made a bad choice, in the way that her chapter did not support her when mine would have, and she regrets that she had not chose differently. It's all in the chapter and the person.

4. And possibly most important, is that the conundrum of RUSH is that it's just that! You are forced, as a PNM and Member, to judge a person in a very short period of time. Which sux. My feelings on this have always been is that A) My mom's friends didn't know everything about me coming out of high school, and had they known every stupid thing i did, would have not given me a rec. (Thank God they did) B) Anyone can put on a front for a week, and look like an angel with a good resume, and C) for the most part most girls could be molded into excellent, upstanding women with the right help. (Does this come from sororities? You be the judge) Some just need the right peer pressure.

Ok. Now I'm babbling. Lost my point somewhere in there. Hopefully you'll be able to suss it out.

[shadokat]

Where did you live near Philly Lil_ChiO_Lady, and what school did you go to in Texas? One of my dearest friends lived here in Philly and then went to UTEP for college. She was a Chi O there, although the chapter has now closed! She has nearly the same story as you

Originally posted by Lil_ChiO_Lady
nycgirl--
I was in the same shoes as your sister..I came from out of state from the eastcoast as well (Philly) and I moved to Texas...I didn't know much about Greeks and was a little worried about the whole "RUSH THING"..It seemed difficult in the beginning b/c getting referances for me was a pain in the ass to get and I was truely worried b/c I thought these girls are gonna look at me differently for not being a local and I know nothing about the city and OMG,lol...

She just has to be herself going into rush and not stress it, there isn't a disadvantage to being from out-of-state unless you make it a negative..They really get very interested knowing a rushee is not from around the area..They take advantage of that fact and welcome you with open arms..

I found out it was such an easy outlet in conversations.It helped me to talk about myself and my background and they learned so much about me and it really helped for them and I to make my decision in choosing of where I wanted to be..So in my opinion it was actually easier to be from out of state and also you don't know anyone from your high school that you may already have pre-concieved notions about.It is starting anew and making a great impression on these ppl who are gonna be your lifelong friends.I have found myself to be a more confident,outgoing person with leadership skills that I never thought I had.It is pretty BADASS!

Chi Omega-"Womanly Always,Discouraged Never"

[Lil_ChiO_Lady]

Where did you live near Philly Lil_ChiO_Lady, and what school did you go to in Texas? One of my dearest friends lived here in Philly and then went to UTEP for college. She was a Chi O there, although the chapter has now closed! She has nearly the same story as you

I lived in North Philly and moved up to Northeast during my high school years... I now attend the University of Houston..I have never had the pleasure of meeting her.

[Cluey]

I am one of those girls who "got lost in the shuffle" at a large SEC school. I believed all those little half-truths about the sorority getting the recommendation, you just turning in your little information sheet, etc. I secured no recs based on this lie.

I think I had a worse experience for a couple different reasons.

1. I was the only person from my high school at that particular university. There were girls from my hometown, but they all went to the prestigious private school and looked at me exceedingly weird when I said I went to a public high school.

2. I was very young, though everyone says it shouldn't have anything to do with it. I was actually 16 when I rushed and turned 17 later that fall.

I had the grades. I had the involvement in activities. I had the community service. On paper, I looked good.

I went onward to rush with no preconceived notions about any of the sororities. At the particular school that I attended, there are 18 sororities. During the first round, we visited all the houses and I thought, despite the reputation of being from a public school, that I had made a good impression. Imagine my surprise received my invitations to round 2 and I only had *2* houses left. Talk about a gut check moment. My rho chi couldn't believe it. After all the other girls left to go get ready for their first party, she talked to me for a while. She advised me to go to the 2 parties, even though I was a wreck, and so I did. I came back the next day and those 2 houses had dropped me. My rho chi cried with me when I dropped out of rush. She said she didn't understand why they wouldn't like me and I, honestly, I have no idea to this day.

My point is this, yes, there are girls who go into rush saying, "If I don't get ABC, then I don't go anything." I wasn't one of those girls and, yet, I still had an unsuccessful rush. I would have been more than happy to just find *A* home. Yes, at some level, it does effect your self esteem, but you can choose to dwell on it or live your life.

I ended up transferring to a college that did not have sororities. I'm currently persuing alumna initiation, so maybe things do work out for the best. It just might take a while for them to work out.

[carnation]

We've acquired a bunch of new members lately and I'd like to know your views on this topic that affects so many PNMs, especially at the Mega-Greek schools.....