advice after the cuts - Page 5

amanda6035 · #61 08-18-2005, 03:35 PM

wow, this thread has me excited. I cant wait to hear the results! I too, am keeping my fingers crossed!

TexasStar · #62 08-18-2005, 03:39 PM

I'm so anxious to hear how it goes. Just want her to "bloom where she's planted!"

pinkmom · #63 08-18-2005, 03:47 PM

Perhaps someone can provide some words of wisdom to ease my breaking heart for my daughter. My daughter went through rush at UGA but dropped out after second rounds. She is a Phi Mu legacy plus had recs for Phi Mu from several sisters and recs for four other groups. She did not receive a invite back after second round to any of these groups but did receive them from other groups without any "connections". What concerns me the most is some comments that were made such as " what a cute dress- what size is that?" and "your hair is so curly - are you Jewish?". Hopefully someone out there can help me as I struggle through this.

tunatartare · #64 08-18-2005, 03:50 PM

I'm sorry about your daughter. Depending on the tone of voice of the person who said it, the things don't necessarily sound negative. It could be like "your dress is so cute, what size is that? oh that's my size, can I borrow that some time?" or "your hair is so curly, are you Jewish? I'm Jewish too, what are you doing for Rosh Hashanah?" You get the idea.

GeekyPenguin · #65 08-18-2005, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KLPDaisy
I'm sorry about your daughter. Depending on the tone of voice of the person who said it, the things don't necessarily sound negative. It could be like "your dress is so cute, what size is that? oh that's my size, can I borrow that some time?" or "your hair is so curly, are you Jewish? I'm Jewish too, what are you doing for Rosh Hashanah?" You get the idea.

There's no reason for that to be asked during recruitment, though...why would a girl who you've never met before who may or may not want to join your sorority lend you her dress?

I am really sorry this happened to your daughter - did she not like any of the other groups that invited her back?

Jhawkalum · #66 08-18-2005, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pinkmom
"your hair is so curly - are you Jewish?". Hopefully someone out there can help me as I struggle through this.

None of us can totally judege the question out of context -- but it sounds like this woman was fishing for information that shouldn't make a bit of difference during recruitment.

Your daughter should talk to her recruitment counselor or a member of panhellenic judicial board about that question, because that is soooooo inappropriate if that's how it really happened.

UGA mom · #67 08-18-2005, 04:30 PM

So sorry for the daughter going thru rush at UGA. It can be truly brutal. I am also a Phi Mu. My daugher went thru rush there and is now on the other side. She was also cut from Phi Mu after the second round. However, luckily, she went into rush with an open mind since she had heard lots of stories about rush at UGA. Her heart was broken after second round when she was cut by a few of the sororities at the top of her list. However, she hung in and found a sorority she just loves. They were also on the top of her list so she was truly blessed to find this sorority.

As to recuitment rules at UGA, the girls in the sororities were told lots of rules on the don'ts. They were not supposed to complement anyone (may give false hope), not supposed to hug anyone - even if a friend until prefs(may give false hope). They were not supposed to say "It's great to see you!" but could say it's nice to see you back in our house. Obviously some sororities play by the rules and some don't.

I also think it was rude of someone to comment on curly hair and dress size. I don't care if she's a size 4 or 16. It's rude.

I'm so sorry for the experience. I was there last year when my daughter was crying her way through the six parties before prefs.

AXiDTrish · #68 08-18-2005, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Your daughter should talk to her recruitment counselor or a member of panhellenic judicial board about that question, because that is soooooo inappropriate if that's how it really happened.

I absolutely agree. Those comments seem really inappropriate to me!! If the comments were in context of a discussion, then Panhellenic will be able to at least verify and act (or not act) as needed.

I'm sorry your daughter dropped out before visiting the chapters that did invite her back. I would wager a guess that there are broken hearts on both sides for those chapters as well. Too bad.

FSUZeta · #69 08-18-2005, 05:02 PM

i find those questions really bizarre-whether she is a size 0 or an 18 what should it matter? and i must be out of the loop- i didn't know that only jewish people had curly hair. were these questions asked by the same person or people in the same house? all i can say is WOW!

oldrusheenowmom · #70 08-18-2005, 05:09 PM

Well, Iowa State has a very excited new KD. My daughter just called from the house and is totally excited!! My thank you card to the Rho Gams will be in the mail tomorrow and my heartfelt thanks go out to all of you-- My support goes to all the other moms--

sugar and spice · #71 08-18-2005, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FSUZeta
i find those questions really bizarre-whether she is a size 0 or an 18 what should it matter? and i must be out of the loop- i didn't know that only jewish people had curly hair. were these questions asked by the same person or people in the same house? all i can say is WOW!

The thing that I find so bizarre about the "What size is that?" question is that it's not like you can't make an educated guess. I mean, a girl who's a size 12 is not going to be able to disguise herself as a size 0 for the duration of rush. If it really matters that you don't have any fat girls in your house, that's something you can SEE -- you don't need to ask.

The "Are you Jewish?" question makes a little more sense, although it obviously is still inappropriate -- but at least it's not something that's readily apparent.

Edited so I can be the first to say "Congratulations!" to oldrusheenewmom and her daughter.

Lindz928 · #72 08-18-2005, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pinkmom
Perhaps someone can provide some words of wisdom to ease my breaking heart for my daughter. My daughter went through rush at UGA but dropped out after second rounds. She is a Phi Mu legacy plus had recs for Phi Mu from several sisters and recs for four other groups. She did not receive a invite back after second round to any of these groups but did receive them from other groups without any "connections". What concerns me the most is some comments that were made such as " what a cute dress- what size is that?" and "your hair is so curly - are you Jewish?". Hopefully someone out there can help me as I struggle through this.

Reminds me of the house on my campus that asked everyong, "So, what does your dad do for a living?" Not mom, just dad. HOW is that at all relevant to whether or not a girl will be at home in your house??? Beats me. I just thought it seemed spoiled and materialistic.

But, I'm so sorry that happened to her. Those are both questions that do not need to be asked during rush (at least not in that way).

AUDeltaGam · #73 08-18-2005, 05:12 PM

Congrats to your daugter and Kappa Delta!

amanda6035 · #74 08-18-2005, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by oldrusheenowmom
Well, Iowa State has a very excited new KD. My daughter just called from the house and is totally excited!! My thank you card to the Rho Gams will be in the mail tomorrow and my heartfelt thanks go out to all of you-- My support goes to all the other moms--

YAY KD!!!!!!! Congratulations to your daughter!!!!!

Lindz928 · #75 08-18-2005, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by oldrusheenowmom
Well, Iowa State has a very excited new KD. My daughter just called from the house and is totally excited!! My thank you card to the Rho Gams will be in the mail tomorrow and my heartfelt thanks go out to all of you-- My support goes to all the other moms--

YAY!!! Congratulations to your daughter and to KD!!!

So happy for her.