"I'm rushing 'for' a certain chapter"

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by pshsx1

FWIW, I know that fraternity recruitment is way different than formal sorority recruitment. Keep in mind, though, there are plenty of schools, like my own, where formal recruitment does not exist which is why I still use the term "Rush." Also, a random PNM who stumbled on this board may have absolutely no idea that there is a difference.

Also, to elaborate, I told an NPHC org that I was rushing SigEp. So, had I not gotten a bid from SPE, I instantly ruined some of my chances.

But nonetheless, my post was not at all in regards to how mush "easier" or different fraternity recruitment is or anything along those lines. I was just pointing out that the posts calling PNMs stupid were uncalled for. Ignorant? Sure.

How much knowledge does it take to know that there is nothing to be gained by being rude and insulting, which is what announcing you are not interested in a group which is hosting you for an event, formal or informal, is?

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by Titchou

Yeah, I was under the "you can go to any school you want but the only one I'm paying for is Alabama" rule....

That's what my dad said to me about Michigan. (actually, he said he'd only pay for the application fee to Michigan, but since he paid for my tuition when I transferred to Maryland, I guess he got over it)

I have to say that my daughter had a preconceived "favorite" last fall that stayed the same right through January recruitment, and that's where she joined. In her case, her favorite was based on women she met during the through common clubs/activities, and where she thought she'd best fit; it was not based on tiers. I confess I actually considered ordering some Pi Phi items during the Lily Pulitzer half-off sale the week before her recruitment, but I refrained. Missed that deal...but I didn't want to jinx it.

Winter recruitment is a different animal, though. In her case, girls had to make an effort to get to know sorority members during the fall...recruitment was a 4 month process. By the time formal recruitment week rolled around in January, she had a good idea about where she'd made connections, and where she hadn't.

[angels&angles]

To be fair, the only girls I really judge are the ones who come HERE and talk about which chapters they want, because those girls literally have the answers at their fingertips and ignore everything.

However, my freshman year, I fell in love with a group of girls who were rushing me hardcore and then told everyone I knew that I "wanted to be an XYZ." Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. My second night of rush, everyone but XYZ dropped me. (What did I think was going to happen? [Obviously, I thought everyone was going to looooooooove me and I would get to choose which group I wanted to join]). It worked out in the end, as I joined XYZ. It was my dream chapter, even though it was lowest on the totem pole at the time, and I loved every minute of it.

But I was so, so, so clueless.

[carnation]

I've seen dozens of recruitment brochures and websites over the years that seemed to suggest that the PNM was in the driver's seat, that she would be doing the choosing. Some of these were even from highly competitive schools!

A lot of PNMs buy into this and are horribly shocked when they get first returns. I don't understand why anyone would advertise her choices, though, whether she was basically clueless about rush or very sophisticated. I have to wonder if some of these girl hope that their choices' members will see their posts and be flattered.

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

To be fair, the only girls I really judge are the ones who come HERE and talk about which chapters they want, because those girls literally have the answers at their fingertips and ignore everything.

However, my freshman year, I fell in love with a group of girls who were rushing me hardcore and then told everyone I knew that I "wanted to be an XYZ." Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. My second night of rush, everyone but XYZ dropped me. (What did I think was going to happen? [Obviously, I thought everyone was going to looooooooove me and I would get to choose which group I wanted to join]). It worked out in the end, as I joined XYZ. It was my dream chapter, even though it was lowest on the totem pole at the time, and I loved every minute of it.

But I was so, so, so clueless.

I don't think my daughter was quite this overt, but I absolutely think the "word was out" on her and Pi Phi.

Also, A LOT of fraternity guys were fishing for information in December and via FB over break. There was a lot of "so, which chapter do you like best?" and "I heard that XYZ and DEF really like you. What's your favorite?" I told my daughter, probably too late, to evade these questions, because this appeared to be serious fishing in the guise of casual conversation. I had every reason to believe this info was going right back to their sorority friends.

Originally Posted by carnation

I've seen dozens of recruitment brochures and websites over the years that seemed to suggest that the PNM was in the driver's seat, that she would be doing the choosing. Some of these were even from highly competitive schools!

A lot of PNMs buy into this and are horribly shocked when they get first returns. I don't understand why anyone would advertise her choices, though, whether she was basically clueless about rush or very sophisticated. I have to wonder if some of these girl hope that their choices' members will see their posts and be flattered.

I agree...I think those brochures are trying to downplay the "exclusivity" reputation that goes along with recruitment. In many cases, that's false advertising.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I agree...I think those brochures are trying to downplay the "exclusivity" reputation that goes along with recruitment. In many cases, that's false advertising.

Same as "it is the sorority's job to find a recommendation for you." In the real world, that rarely happens.

[carnation]

OMG! I am currently trying (maybe fruitlessly) to convince some UGa PNMs that no matter what the website says, they HAVE to get recs! Their non-Greek moms keep parroting, "But the Panhellenic site says you don't have to..."

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by carnation

OMG! I am currently trying (maybe fruitlessly) to convince some UGa PNMs that no matter what the website says, they HAVE to get recs! Their non-Greek moms keep parroting, "But the Panhellenic site says you don't have to..."

Now, now - sure, they don't have to have recs, they only have to have recs for chapters they might want to join (or that mom wants them to join.)

(maybe mom doesn't think they are up to recruitment....)

[angels&angles]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I told my daughter, probably too late, to evade these questions, because this appeared to be serious fishing in the guise of casual conversation. I had every reason to believe this info was going right back to their sorority friends.

You would be correct.

[greekdee]

Originally Posted by carnation

OMG! I am currently trying (maybe fruitlessly) to convince some UGa PNMs that no matter what the website says, they HAVE to get recs! Their non-Greek moms keep parroting, "But the Panhellenic site says you don't have to..."

I had that come up last year with some Alabama PNMs. The statement that it's the sorority's responsibility to find recs was posted near the top of the websites's info section...I think some stopped reading right there, believing they had nothing to worry about. This year, it says in the first few paragraphs that it's not the PNMs responsibility to find the official rec forms alumnae use. The other comment about sororities securing recs is still in there, but tucked in much further down.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by carnation

OMG! I am currently trying (maybe fruitlessly) to convince some UGa PNMs that no matter what the website says, they HAVE to get recs! Their non-Greek moms keep parroting, "But the Panhellenic site says you don't have to..."

"Don't listen to your non-Greek mother on this one."

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by greekdee

I had that come up last year with some Alabama PNMs. The statement that it's the sorority's responsibility to find recs was posted near the top of the websites's info section...I think some stopped reading right there, believing they had nothing to worry about. This year, it says in the first few paragraphs that it's not the PNMs responsibility to find the official rec forms alumnae use. The other comment about sororities securing recs is still in there, but tucked in much further down.

I was typing a post about that very info too. And check the instruction at the end of the page.

From the lengthy page devoted to “Letters of Recommendation” on the Bama Panhellenic site:

http://uapanhellenic.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=15&It emid=32

First sentence on page:

Recommendations/References are not required to participate in Formal Recruitment at The University of Alabama, but they are a helpul tool in introducing the potential new member to the sorority.

Also:

Please note that while potential members can seek out letters of rec; it is ultimately not the responsibility of the potential member to obtain a copy of the Recommendation/Reference Form for the alumna or collegian.

Last (next to last) sentences on page:

*Potential New Members are encouraged to obtain Recommendations/References for all the Panhellenic sororities, however in some instances this is not possible. If a Recommendation/Reference is not obtained, the PNM may send her resume, transcript and headshot photograph to the chapter PO box.

Little wonder that there is still confusion where recs are concerned (at Bama anyway) – especially among moms who are not Greek and using this “official” source of information.

***I've never noticed the "send in your own" suggestion before. Perhaps it has been there in the past, but I never noticed it. And I don't know of any PNMs who have done that.

.

[carnation]

You are kidding. Send in your own? Now who on earth is going to accept that?

[Hartofsec]

Originally Posted by carnation

You are kidding. Send in your own? Now who on earth is going to accept that?

It really doesn't make any sense, especially when the PNM has already submitted the same information to register for recruitment (from Bama's Panhellenic Sorority Recruitment Registration page):



Prepare yourself before you begin to register by having the following items ready:

• Personal Information (UA Campuswide ID Number, Crimson email account, etc.)
• List of extracurricular activities, honors, community service and work experience
• Sorority legacy information
• Digital photograph, preferably a head-shot (1 MB Max)
• Digital Copy of your Resume (1 MB Max)
• Digital copy of your high school or college transcript (1 MB Max)
• Credit or Debt card for online payment

I wouldn't recommend sending in your own info to chapters there. Panhellenic really needs to reword and reorganize the information concerning letters of recommendation to be more accurate.

.

[greekdee]

Little wonder that there is still confusion where recs are concerned (at Bama anyway) – especially among moms who are not Greek and using this “official” source of information.

Amen, I completely see why there is confusion. Parents who attended the Preview Weekend seem to have a much better understanding of what is needed, but some who didn't rely a lot on what they read at the website, and some trust it more than they do a few alums telling them differently. On another note, I had a UGA mom tell me she heard recs were "being phased out" and not a big deal anymore. Wow, wonder what UGA she is talking about? Not the one in Athens, Georgia.