Cautiously dipping a toe in here...

[33girl]

Originally Posted by dukemama

And honestly, I don't believe XYZ sorority IS my best opportunity regardless of what my friend said at our college reunion. I can't, with a clear conscience, attempt to join a group where I know specific members did not wish me to belong. It's a matter of personal pride, I guess.

What if you had received a bid from XYZ, everything is going wonderful, and then had your ex-roomie tell you "I did everything I could to get you cut, I wish I didn't have to call you sister." Would you have terminated your membership? Or would you have tried to work it out or at the very least, agreed to coexist and stay out of each other's way?

I knew there were specific members who wished I wasn't a sister as a collegian. I know there are specific members who think the same of me as an alum. Am I going to let them chase me out of being involved? Hell no.

It just sounds like you are way too hung up on something that happened DECADES ago. Is this woman involved with your local alumnae chapter at all? Is she a national officer or volunteer of any sort? Is she an involved alumna of your school? If the answers are no, you're probably never going to cross her path again. So why would you let her opinion ruin something you want to go for in the here and now?

Sororities are not all roses and daisies. No one is going to like every single one of her sisters, every time every where, unless her chapter is very small or her brain is very small.

Don't let pride stand in the way of something that could make you happy.

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by 33girl

What if you had received a bid from XYZ, everything is going wonderful, and then had your ex-roomie tell you "I did everything I could to get you cut, I wish I didn't have to call you sister." Would you have terminated your membership? Or would you have tried to work it out or at the very least, agreed to coexist and stay out of each other's way?

I knew there were specific members who wished I wasn't a sister as a collegian. I know there are specific members who think the same of me as an alum. Am I going to let them chase me out of being involved? Hell no.

It just sounds like you are way too hung up on something that happened DECADES ago. Is this woman involved with your local alumnae chapter at all? Is she a national officer or volunteer of any sort? Is she an involved alumna of your school? If the answers are no, you're probably never going to cross her path again. So why would you let her opinion ruin something you want to go for in the here and now?

Sororities are not all roses and daisies. No one is going to like every single one of her sisters, every time every where, unless her chapter is very small or her brain is very small.

Don't let pride stand in the way of something that could make you happy.

Point taken, 33girl. My freshman year roommate lives several states away and since graduation I've only seen her at reunions. She's been cordial to me at those events. More than her opinion of me, however, was the concern that the GLO could somehow find out about her rejection of my membership if I pursued AI with them (I was assured in a prior post that that would be unlikely). It looks like it may be a moot point anyway, since according to the moderator's list on this forum XYZ sorority rarely conducts AI if at all.

I appreciate the reality check, though...I mean that sincerely.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by dukemama

according to the moderator's list on this forum XYZ sorority rarely conducts AI if at all.

I would take that list with a BOULDER SIZED "grain of salt" - those are not official postions on AI. Although I believe most of those on there that say AI is rare are correct, please don't assume that the others that are not marked that way are open to AI.

[PenguinTrax]

Originally Posted by dukemama

I'm probably (one of the) oldest, too! < back atcha >

Hmm...don't think so...lol.

[SWTXBelle]

I am fairly confident that no headquarters keep records of PNMs who were not invited back to a party. Can you imagine the paperwork?? I'm in the process of touring all 26 headquarters (7 down, 19 to go!) and I have yet to have a guide say "And here is where we keep the records for everyone a chapter did not invite back or extend a bid to!"
As was expressed eloquently above, you will never have a situation where everyone in a group gets along. I believe that any time you have 3 or more people, there is conflict. So I second the idea of leaving the past behind and going forward. Good luck -

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Although I believe most of those on there that say AI is rare are correct, please don't assume that the others that are not marked that way are open to AI.

Rest assured, I never assume.

[twocutetx]

Hi Dukemama!

I've been around her for awhile (well about two years now I guess *laugh*) -- I'm 34 and finishing my undergrad this summer. Through this past couple of years I've talked to people from a number of sororities about their programs, philanthropies, etc.

Reading the boards here really has provided some great information as I've been on this journey. I had no idea AI even existed until I returned to school to finish my undergrad. I was one of those that pledged and left prior to initiation (I didn't do formal rush -- I did COB -- and the sorority I pledged and I were not a good fit) a million years ago because I wasn't ready for school/being an adult/etc.

The thing is now, I have a lot more to offer and *I* know this about myself. The questions people ask here -- all the WHY questions -- why do you want to do this? Why now? Why not before? Answering those for myself has helped me answer a lot of my own questions. My why -- I'm going to be in school for awhile longer. This semester (my last long semester as an undergrad) is as bad or worse than any of my graduate semesters will be (I have a heavier course load and 4 clinic clients -- honors clinic -- grad school max will be 15 hours and probably 2 clients *laugh*). I do a lot of volunteer work -- or rather have in the past. I enjoy it immensely and want to be part of an organization of women banded together as sisters & friends, supporting philanthropies together. I have met so many amazing alum (both men and women) -- and I've met a lot who do nothing with their organization after graduation.

ANYWAY -- I'm just babbling LOL -- I'm not sure where I'll end up, but the journey itself has taught me a lot about myself, and about the National level of many groups.

*hugs* and good luck!

~B.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by twocutetx

I enjoy it immensely and want to be part of an organization of women banded together as sisters & friends, supporting philanthropies together.

www.apo.org

www.gammasigmasigma.org

www.omegaphialpha.org

If your main reason for wanting to AI is philanthropy - you might check out the above orgs, as that is their focus. I'll be honest - many NPC Alum Associations don't do much philanthropy. There are some exceptions, but on the whole, this is not the purpose or the focus of Alum Assoc.

[ASUADPi]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

www.apo.org

www.gammasigmasigma.org

www.omegaphialpha.org

If your main reason for wanting to AI is philanthropy - you might check out the above orgs, as that is their focus. I'll be honest - many NPC Alum Associations don't do much philanthropy. There are some exceptions, but on the whole, this is not the purpose or the focus of Alum Assoc.

Not to go on a mini hijack to long, but wouldn't it strictly depend on the alum association? I know that I'm trying my hardest to do philanthropies for my AA but getting alums involved has been harder than heck. What I would give for a sister like the PNAI above. Most of the time I honestly have to relay on the collegians.

But I do generally think you are right. I'm sure more than not spend their times not doing philanthropy events.

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

Not to go on a mini hijack to long, but wouldn't it strictly depend on the alum association? I know that I'm trying my hardest to do philanthropies for my AA but getting alums involved has been harder than heck. What I would give for a sister like the PNAI above. Most of the time I honestly have to relay on the collegians.

But I do generally think you are right. I'm sure more than not spend their times not doing philanthropy events.

In the case of my AC, our Grape Escape Fundraiser/Silent Auction is pretty much the only big fundraising event we have annually.

A lot of our alums are pretty stretched out and committed to various other community philanthropies (Junior League, Salvation Army Womens' Auxiliary, etc.) but are still called on when the collegians need help staffing various events.

[twocutetx]

I know that many alum groups are not so into their philanthropy -- I also know that some are -- it does vary by group, region, etc. etc.

Ironically -- I'm already apo *laugh* from my first time around in school. I didn't "rejoin" this time because they told me they'd have to transfer my membership from my previous school and it just got complicated from there. I did opt instead to join a "local" spirit and service organization.

That all being said, the philanthropy is only a part -- it's the whole package I'm interested in. Supporting the collegians, having the sisters, being a part of the larger whole . . . I think the one thing I didn't say, is that yes, every group, at every school, and every alumni association is different.

*smiles*

And no, I'm not Greek ignorant *laugh* Hubby is a PiKA from a gazillion years ago. We both know the benefits -- the friendships and bonds -- that come with. I regret not having been able to rush and join a house my first time around in school -- and this time around being a married woman with two kids there wasn't much point in rushing.

~B.

[Sister Havana]

hijack...

Come say hi in the APO forum here!

/hijack