In-law venting thread - Page 5

aephi alum · #61 10-03-2009, 10:19 PM

Damn, ASAlady....... you win.

txchrissy · #62 10-04-2009, 02:57 AM

Yup....... ASAlady, thats the worst i've heard.

KSUViolet06 · #63 10-04-2009, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAlady

Well, my husband who is in the Army gets deployed. As soon as he leaves, MIL tells me I had 3 weeks to be out of the house. She listed the house on the market and it sold within 5 days.

Wow. Did she give you any reason for why she was doing it?

Or does she just hate you?

ellebud · #64 10-04-2009, 04:35 PM

Your inlaws are quite a pair. Just wondering though: What did those letters say? (I have an inquisitive mind.) Depending on what was said I'd probably correct spelling/grammar and thought continium and THEN return them.

APhi Sailorgirl · #65 10-05-2009, 10:20 AM

Wow ASALady, that one does take the cake. Good thing for your DH sticking up for you though.

Jill1228 · #66 10-05-2009, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASAlady

I doubt I will ever see MIL again, I know he will never speak to her again, and if we have children, it's sad, but they will never know their father's family. Sad story but sometimes in laws can be like that.

OMG that is all types of levels of f*cked up! Good for him on taking your side! As far as having kids, it will be sad but IMO I would rather not have my kids to potentially be subjected to hurtful crap your Monster in Law does.

Are your DH's father or other siblings in the picture? I'd be dying to find out their outlook on this.

I can relate to the kid thing. I haven't really spoken to my father since 2001 (my parents are divorced). He has never met my DH. If we have kids, chances are, they will not know him

Estranged parents...that is a whole 'nother talk show!

Once this recruitment is over, should vent about my inlaws in detail (my BIL and SIL)

ellebud · #67 10-05-2009, 01:10 PM

Note to all: When I said, in my first post on this subject that when I am a MIL, I will think, "What would my in laws have done?" And I will do the opposite.

And since I am a lot closer to MIL status than most of you, I have seen the wreckage that their attitudes toward my children (who were seen when then were young as my extensions) have wrought. My children went dutifully to FIL's memorial. They NEVER call my MIL. She never called them. They gave money to my children for the holidays on a sliding scale. We evened it out. They plain don't care. And that is a shame.

ASAlady · #68 10-05-2009, 10:14 PM

It's kind of funny that I "won" the worst MIL because going through it I never felt like I won anything. Thank goodness I had my own family to support me. My parents have been awesome through this whole thing and I have definitely learned to appreciate them a lot more.

I never knew why MIL didn't like me other than she didn't think we were right for each other. She said that time and time again. She told me several weeks before the wedding that, "no offense, but I don't see the two of you lasting." Another reason she doesn't like me- my sister had a baby out of wedlock when she was 22 and MIL thought that was so shamefull and called her trash to my face and said my whole family is a bunch of sinners (she's Catholic, I am not). So I think it's a ton of things- we are just not good enough apparently.

I started dating my husband a year after his dad died, so I think that also has something to do with it. Not only did MIL lose her husband but she "lost" her son, too, because he wasn't around as much to be with her on Friday nights when she was lonely, help her around the house, etc. So psychologically speaking (I am currently working on my Master's Degree in Counseling) it must have felt like I took him from her after she suffered a devestating loss. Her husband's death was somewhat unexpected (stroke). So I can sympathize. But there really isn't any excuse for her poor behavior towards me.

I don't speak to any of his family- he has a brother and a sister but they live out of town. He does kind of speak to them but with being away with the Army there isn't much time to talk. He will be coming home for Christmas and I asked him what he wanted to do about his mom and he said he wants nothing to do with her. I don't love the fact that they don't speak, I would like him to have closure. At the same time he has a job to do with the military and really doesn't have time for her drama.

I have no idea what the letters said. He read a few and they were just the same crap how we aren't good for each other and he should take this separation to get over me, etc. At that point he just stopped reading them and sent them back undeliverable.

ellebud · #69 10-06-2009, 01:19 AM

There was a book that I gave my husband called Toxic Parents. It is probably available on Amazon used. It helped me understand my inlaws a bit. (Still didn't like them, but understanding what makes them tick and how to handle the situation does help.)

I hate to say it, but my expriences could probably go toe to toe with yours, a distinction that neither of us would like. But I will say again, whatever my in laws did I will do the opposite. Because if the marriage works I want to have the joy of seeing my child (ren) happy. If the marriage fails I want them to come to me and say thank you for supporting me and not making the situation worse.

AOII_LB93 · #70 10-08-2009, 11:09 PM

So my MIL is trying to get between my husband and I again. Gee, there's a surprise.

Man, I really dislike her. A lot.

KSUViolet06 · #71 10-09-2009, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

So my MIL is trying to get between my husband and I again. Gee, there's a surprise.

Random question: I don't know if you mentioned it or not, but do you know why it is that she doesn't like you (esp. if you have actually liked her and been really nice?)

WinniBug · #72 10-09-2009, 10:58 PM

My MIL is mad at us because we're going to visit his aunts and uncles who live 4ish hours away instead of coming to see her, I guess.

aephi alum · #73 10-10-2009, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilsunshine214

I have an evil in-law story from last year...

The morning of my big brother's wedding I was getting make-up done with the bridal party (my mom dragged me). Well I tell the girl that I don't want heavy make-up because I rarely wear make-up. My sister-in-law's mom sits next to me to get her make-up done and is like, "Don't listen to her! She needs heavy make-up so it shows up in the pictures." The girl kind of looked at me like, "Uhhh..." I looked straight at my big brother's future mother-in-law and asked her, "Are you my mom? No. Then be quiet." Her response was, "It's my daughter's pictures and her day so you do what I tell you to!" Yeah, I totally ignored her and even her OWN make-up artist told her that heavy make-up wasn't necessary due to the innovations of digital photography and editing.

Damn...

Passive-aggressive answer: Head directly to the nearest sink and wash it all off, then apply your own makeup to your own taste.

I've seen more than one "professional makeup job" that has left me wondering if I should call 911 and report domestic abuse because of the double black eye. Eye color should be applied with a brush or sponge, not a paint roller.

chitownxo · #74 10-10-2009, 07:56 PM

My husband's brother owns a catering business and a banquet hall. He's having a hard time, but came up with a great idea. BIL asked his dad to ask other family members to "donate" eight hours or so of work time to him so he can cut his labor costs. He'd like us to help out with prep work or serving. We told my FIL it wasn't gonna happen. BIL called last night and raged for 10 minutes about how selfish we were. Still not happening. He hung up after my husband told him again that with our jobs, my husband's schooling (my DH is in culinary school), an active 22 month old, and a new baby on the way, we just don't have time.

The best part of this? My in-laws are getting ready to take their RV across country for the winter (they'll be back in May) and are hosting a bon voyage dinner tomorrow. I can already feel the love coming my way.

AOII_LB93 · #75 10-10-2009, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Random question: I don't know if you mentioned it or not, but do you know why it is that she doesn't like you (esp. if you have actually liked her and been really nice?)

I honestly think it's because she thinks I'm not good enough for her son.