Roommate horror stories?

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by FAB*SpiceySpice
These roommate stories are horrible, I'm so sorry!!!

I myself have had many roommies from hell but I am pretty sure Laura, the meth addict, who punched me in the face and broke my nose took the cake.

Oh my!!!

[1savvydiva]

I actually do have a bad roommate story. When I moved out of my mother's house when I was about 18, I moved in with my cousin(she was like 19). My cousin had a big house of her own, but she had kids. I didn't realize that one of the reasons she was so amped to have me there was because she was NEVER HOME!!! My cousin was a dancer (read=stripper), and she went to work usually about 8-9pm, sometimes the kids would go over her mom's, or sometimes she would ask me "Well if you are going to be home, can I just leave them?"

The problem arose when my cousin just lost ALL morals for herself and started not only dancing, but leaving the club with different guys and when I woke up to leave for work (I worked 7a-3p then), she wouldn't be home. I would be late for work getting the kids dressed and off to school/daycare. Or she would ask if I would be home and that she would be going to the "store", and come back hours later with no goods! I finally got fed up because I felt like I was the kids mother, I was taking the kids to the doctor when they were sick, I was cooking/cleaning/etc....not to mention by this time I had started back to school.

When she DID come home in the wee hours of the morning, there was usually some guy with her...there was always a different car outside(and I am talking big-money rides, Mercedes', mercedes trucks, lexus', BMW X-5, Yukon's, Cadillac's, etc..). One morning I woke up and went to the bathroom, (with only a night-T shirt on), and there was some strange dude laid out on the couch. Apparantly he was the friend to whatever dude my cousin was in there "befriending". So he's like "Damn, who are you..." He's all up on me, I guess he was thinking that "birds of a feather flock together", and that I was as loose as her...needless to say he got told real quick, and took his ass outside and waited in the car.

I finally found my own spot after like a year, and don't you know her younger sister moved into my room not even a week after I moved out...guess she needed another live-in babysitter.

[ZTAngel]

Here's a direct quote from a horrible roommate story Lifesaver told a few years back. I'm reposting it because I don't think anyone's roommate can compare to this. And, of course, I still laugh everytime I read it.

Here it is:


OK, back by popular demand, the bow and arrow story. After I moved out of the chapter house I got my first apartment (all of you who can remember what it was like to finally have your own apartment, off campus insert feel good feeling here - till the first light bill arrives) anyway, James (pretty much the character Cliff, from Dead Man on Campus) and I were brothers in the house but got tired of the crazyness and moved out. Well James had been about the wildest brother we had, but had tamed down considerably, due to the influence of a lovely young woman, Victoria. Anyway, I needed to move out and decide to take my chances with James. Well, we move in together and all seems cool, till I discover some unique traits James has. First, he loves to be naked. I could tell when he was home because there would be a line of clothes from the front door to his bedroom in this order, shoe, shoe, sock, belt, sock, shirt, pants, skivies. And there James would be, nekid (remember, this is the south) as sin, playing on the computer. Not too, too bad, since he was in his room. But it gets worse, Victoria was naked all the time too, and the slept with the door open, I got up before them, so each day I was greated with a new body part. I never saw so much sack and crack in my whole life. I don't think I know MY body that well. Not the first thing you want to see in the AM as you are trying to choke down out of date OJ.

Anyway, James' fav'o hobby was watching TV on the couch...naked. (We actually refered to him as Naked Boy) But get this he LOVED to play with his balls. No matter who was over. Sittin' on the couch strummin' his nuts. My bedroom door faced the couch, so everytime I'd come out of my room, I got the lovely nut shot.

He gets a snake, knowing I have this huge fear of them (I grew up here in texas. there are no GOOD snakes) and would emerge from his room occasionally with "the look", "uh oh, I cant find the snake." Whence I would evacuate the premises till said snake was found. (I later discovered this was a cruel rouse for him and Victoria to doink on my $350 Ralph Lauren comforter.

One week for initiation and pre-rit he decided to torture all of us (because of the close company the actives spend with each other that week) and not Shower for the ENTIRE WEEK. Let me tell you, this kid was one smelly bast*rd anyway. I can actually remember the last night of pre-rit him sitting on the couch at the house putting his hands in his pants, thumbing his nuts, and then marveling at how bad his balls smelled. he almost got his ass kicked after that stunt when he started putting his hands in other's faces. Anyway, the bow and arrow story.

After much drinking one night by James he decides to walk to the chapter house with his potato gun in hand (if you don't know what one is, it's a piece of PVC pipe with a flint in the end, you jam a potato in one end, open the flint end, spray some aqua net hair spray for propellent, seal it up and twist the flint, launching the potato about 200 yards) Anyway, some dudes we didn't know show up at the house and after they are asked to leave, start some crap. James emerges NAKED on the chapter roof with his potato gun and bow and arrow (a real hunting one) and trys to "defend" the house. Except he was shooting at everyone. (Read- Risk Managment Disaster waiting to happen here) I felt like I was in 1963 at UT when the bell tower guy went nuts. UPD shows up, along with about 25 other law enforcement agencies. James refused to come off the roof. After he had exhausted his supply (limited, thank god)of arows, he pulls out the bag o' potatoes. And procedes to fire them at the officers. They werent about to shoot him, it would have looked too bad in the papers, assualt by starch. So they wait till he uses up all the potatoes, and tackel him on the roof. (not a job I would have volunteered for). it should be pretty obvious james spent several days in jail for that stunt. The only reason he didn't go to the mental hospital is that his mom is a psycologist. After living with him for 9 months I felt like I needed a psychologist.

Oddly enough, the SOB is making like $250,000 a year in Seattle doing programming for Microsoft. Good luck Mr. Gates. You'll need it.

[sigmadiva]

Originally posted by ilovemyglo
Okay, I have to bust out the PSYCHO-Ashley story.. btw everyone that knows her refers to her as psycho ashley!

Wow, I thought I had bad roomies in college.

I had issues, not really problems, but issues with my very first roomie in college.

Picture me, well I know you can't but, picture me a happy and giddy freshman arriving at the dorm check in to get my room assignment. When I got it and walked into the room I saw my roomie, who is white, and she had a HUGE Confederate flag spread acroos her bed. My jaw dropped!!! I'm black. Loong story short for the most part we got along well. It came to an end when she started keeping her horse tack in the room. This was a tiny room that had two half beds and a sink, so there was not much space to begin with. Several angry notes later about the tack she decided to move out.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4

My first roomie used to turn the HEAT off and open windows in the dead of wintry nights in OHIO. I had a thin comforter. She had like 2 GREAT BLANKETS that were warm as hell. So we were always doing the Window & Heat Tango in the middle of the night. HA on her azz for getting mono. Oh and she played MEATLOAF to death that fall and then transitioned to Toni Braxton after I introduced her to Toni.

Ha ha...we would never get along as roommates. I keep the windows cracked and the fan on year round at NIGHT TIME. I'm just too hot. And, I'm a fan of some rock music, I have it blasting and I sing along with it....not that meatloaf crap though.

[amycat412]

OK, After Doggy to the pound and the clepto there was Southern Belle. (No Offense to all the southerners on GC)

She was a friend of my brother and cousin's from H.S. and had just graduated from GA Tech and moved to L.A. I offered my couch for a couple of weeks so she could scope things out and get the lay of the land.

Well, 6 weeks later, she's still there, we're having the I need you to leave conversations daily, where she claims she'll be out by the weekend.

So I go away for the weekend and come home at like midnight on Sunday night only to find her in MY bed with her MOTHER who was also staying in my TINY TINY TINY apartment and she 1. KNEW I was coming home that night 2. NEVER told me her mother was coming or 3. Asked if it would be OK if she stayed at my house and 4. if it would be OK if they slept in my bed. HAVE these people never heard of HOTELS?

SO I changed the locks a couple of days later. Good riddance.

I get the phone bill a week later. She rang up over $1,000 in phone bills calling her parents in Georgia and Florida.


And folks, I'm not done, there's a few more roomie from hells yet to come. A big reason why I have lived alone for the past 5 years.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

We have a distant cousin who overstayed his welcome. He is pretty rich and self-involved and didn't get the point that he should leave. He went to Ireland to visit my grandmother's sister. He wrote to her asking if he could stay for a short visit while he researched some family history. He arrived and never left. He never offered to pay rent or for food or anything. Now my great aunt was a wonderful and generous woman, but even she was getting sick of him. She finally had to tell him that he had to leave because they could no longer afford to feed him. Did he offer her money? No. He left after almost one year. Who does this? That reminds me of the play "The Man Who Came to Dinner" and never left!

That Lifesaver story is too much!

[Rudey]

I hated my roommate from first year. The place would be constantly trashed, they would smoke in there, and would just make life horrible for me. Add to this that the ass was a large dude.

Well there were a string of incidences that really irked me. One night i got home and i smell something bad. For those of you that have been on the subway in NY you know the smell. It's that disgusting urine smell. I had no idea what was going on. I find the other roommate (who was messy but not disgusting) who tells me to look in the bathroom. The bathroom is covered in newspaper. Yeah, you might be guessing it by now. The freak hick had pissed all over the bathroom and newspapers were put on the floor to absorb it. The newspapers weren't thrown out for 3 days. The kid was a frigging gerbil or something and the bathroom turned into his little cage with newspapers.

Another time I finally decide to use the shower in our place after like a month. I was essentially living with my girlfriend at the time and would rather deal with flowery soap than dirty bathroom. I get out of the shower and my foot is itching. When I wake up, my foot is all puffy. I have no clue what the hell is going on. I'm way too embarassed to tell anyone so I just suck it up and put on my sneakers. Well after loosening up one sneaker, it looked like my foot was about twice as large as yesterday. I have the most painful walk to class after I decide to "walk it off" and i'm sitting there in class constantly scratching my enlarged foot until it just starts to burn. I freak out and hobble over to the hospital. The nurse freaks out when she sees it and they bring me some sort of "specialist" who claims I have some strange heart disorder. Finally they figure out I'm just allergic to something and the something is mold. Yeah, I stepped in some sort of fungus colony in the bath tub. I never used that bathroom again.

Then there was the time that i bring a girl up into my bed (top bunk). She's about to get off the bed and falls over something on his chair and starts saying something about how she was all "wet". I'm thinking she's still horny and then i remember something; hick boy keeps a spit cup because he constantly spits up liquids of various colors of the rainbow. I can never again get with this girl because i know this and i break the news to her when i take her back to her room.

Then there was the porn found on my computer. We're not talking your run of the mill kind of porn. We're talking pregnant lady, old lady, and even rape porn. I start to freak out even more. I put a password on my computer. This causes him great distress as he pulls a knife on me that night. He relents but only to play hank williams jr. all day every day for the next 2 weeks. The only reason he stops is because i take his cd player apart and unhook a few wires.

-Rudey
--Did I mention I was put on housing probation for punching him at the end of the year?

Ever walked in on two of your FEMALE roommates eating each other out?

I did, in my 3rd semester of college.

I was so traumatized that I ended up moving back home.

[AXJules]

This was a post from me in December, about my old roomie who actually used to be my best friend.

Insomnia Queen
I've slept 3 and a half hours in 4 days.

Here's some background:
My roommate, whom I live in the same room with at my sorority house, used to be my really close friend until she went crazy a month ago. (One minute we're at the mall, 2 secs later she's yelling at me and saying how since I will never have as much money as her, I act like a spoiled brat to compensate. Then when she tripped in the parking lot, she said it was her attempt to kill herself and she blamed it on me.)
So we don't talk. At all. She doesn't go to class EVER so our favorite game to play goes like this:
12:30- Julie goes to bed.
1 am- PBR (psychobitch roommate) turns on lights
1:01- Julie turns them off.
1:01 and 10 secs- PBR turns on lights, tv, and stereo (Linkin Park, no less) and keeps everything on BLASTING until 5 am.
This is what we've done for the past month, except I don't do it back to her, I just lie in bed and pray that God will take me in my sleep.
Soooooooooooooooooooooo,
At the risk of sounding like a drug addict, SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME SOMETHING I CAN TAKE TO KNOCK MYSELF OUT!!!! Over the counter or something you've made up that works, please help.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So yeah, I never said how far her psychobitch abilities went. She also bounced $750 in checks to Wal-Mart (Wally world, for god's sakes!!!) and Chung's Chinese Buffet. The prosecuting attorney called my room every day looking for her. She had the second highest amount of parking tix and got her car towed. She refused to give me $$$ for our phone bill and explained that "It's not my fault you get monthly bills." Two weeks ago, she stole $40 from her roommate and said that their room had been ransacked. She cleaned up all the evidence "because she panicked" and fled to St. Louis. Yeah. And she's still living in our house.
She has told everyone that she misses me, but she hates me, and she doesn't want me to pity her which is why she's determined tomake my life a living hell. Not to mention the fact that she's a walking illegal substance drugstore.
Yeah, roomies are the best!!!!!

[starang21]

Originally posted by 1savvydiva
OMG....I would dropkick her ass!

i'm chokin' someone. you'll find my ass on the news "angry asian man kills roomate for urinating on bed. news at 10."

[AXJules]

I cannot believe I'm posting this.
When people ask why I was banned I'll just point to this thread.
-IF YOU GET GROSSED OUT EASILY, DO NOT READ THIS. THIS MIGHT BE THE SICKEST THING YOU'VE EVER READ. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.-

Ok so one of my sisters is notorious for having bad luck with roommates. She's very picky now, and has this questionaire thing you have to fill out if you wanna live with her. Here's why:
Our freshman year, she lived in the nicest dorm on campus. Her roommate, Renee, was super trashy. She was missing a tooth in the front, had greasy greasy hair, and smelled pretty bad (I met her).
It wasn't long before Britt knew that Renee was not her type of person to live with. Renee constantly burped, farted, whatever, and made no apologies about it. For some reason, even though Britt always picked on her, Renee constantly filled her in on stuff she didn't want to know, including sexual fetishes, like the fact that she liked to get peed on.
One night, Renee was like, Britt can I have the room to myself tonite? My fiancee is staying over.
Britt wanted to be nowhere near the room, so she agreed.
The next day, Britt came back and got a detailed description of how Renee had done it doggystyle for the first time last nite and she didn't like it b/c, well, it made her stomach uneasy.
The story ended quickly, however, b/c Renee had such bad cramps from it being 'that time of month' that Britt had to take her to the hospital.
Fast forward a month- they hate each other, Renee moves back to her trailor (literally) w/her fiancee. She's still keeping all of her stuff in Britt's room, though, b/c she's paying for it. (We still can't figure out how she swung paying for both locations, but whatever). There is this sickening smell in the room, and Britt cannot figure out where its coming from. She washes and cleans everything, has the room 'scent bombed' by res. life, and even looks in the walls and ceiling tiles for dead animals. No luck.
Finally, in a last ditch effort, Britt takes off Renee's comforter and sheets to wash them, thinking it's B.O.
She has a heart attack when she discovers a mattress full of brown, red, and yellow stains. Do the math- doggystyle position + being on her period + stomach problems + getting peed on= a stench that stank up an entire room.

And that is why I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever resort to living with a roommate I don't know. It really could be that bad.

[FAB*SpiceySpice]

Originally posted by AXJules

So yeah, I never said how far her psychobitch abilities went. She also bounced $750 in checks to Wal-Mart (Wally world, for god's sakes!!!) and Chung's Chinese Buffet. The prosecuting attorney called my room every day looking for her. She had the second highest amount of parking tix and got her car towed. She refused to give me $$$ for our phone bill and explained that "It's not my fault you get monthly bills." Two weeks ago, she stole $40 from her roommate and said that their room had been ransacked. She cleaned up all the evidence "because she panicked" and fled to St. Louis. Yeah. And she's still living in our house.
She has told everyone that she misses me, but she hates me, and she doesn't want me to pity her which is why she's determined tomake my life a living hell. Not to mention the fact that she's a walking illegal substance drugstore.
Yeah, roomies are the best!!!!!

Dude, that really sucks. I think Mizzou needs to screen their students better b/c seriously you and I have both had some weird ass roommates...then again there are a lot of weirdos on this campus.....

[FAB*SpiceySpice]

Originally posted by AXJules
I cannot believe I'm posting this.
When people ask why I was banned I'll just point to this thread.
-IF YOU GET GROSSED OUT EASILY, DO NOT READ THIS. THIS MIGHT BE THE SICKEST THING YOU'VE EVER READ. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.-

Ok so one of my sisters is notorious for having bad luck with roommates. She's very picky now, and has this questionaire thing you have to fill out if you wanna live with her. Here's why:
Our freshman year, she lived in the nicest dorm on campus. Her roommate, Renee, was super trashy. She was missing a tooth in the front, had greasy greasy hair, and smelled pretty bad (I met her).
It wasn't long before Britt knew that Renee was not her type of person to live with. Renee constantly burped, farted, whatever, and made no apologies about it. For some reason, even though Britt always picked on her, Renee constantly filled her in on stuff she didn't want to know, including sexual fetishes, like the fact that she liked to get peed on.
One night, Renee was like, Britt can I have the room to myself tonite? My fiancee is staying over.
Britt wanted to be nowhere near the room, so she agreed.
The next day, Britt came back and got a detailed description of how Renee had done it doggystyle for the first time last nite and she didn't like it b/c, well, it made her stomach uneasy.
The story ended quickly, however, b/c Renee had such bad cramps from it being 'that time of month' that Britt had to take her to the hospital.
Fast forward a month- they hate each other, Renee moves back to her trailor (literally) w/her fiancee. She's still keeping all of her stuff in Britt's room, though, b/c she's paying for it. (We still can't figure out how she swung paying for both locations, but whatever). There is this sickening smell in the room, and Britt cannot figure out where its coming from. She washes and cleans everything, has the room 'scent bombed' by res. life, and even looks in the walls and ceiling tiles for dead animals. No luck.
Finally, in a last ditch effort, Britt takes off Renee's comforter and sheets to wash them, thinking it's B.O.
She has a heart attack when she discovers a mattress full of brown, red, and yellow stains. Do the math- doggystyle position + being on her period + stomach problems + getting peed on= a stench that stank up an entire room.

And that is why I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever resort to living with a roommate I don't know. It really could be that bad.

ONCE AGAIN THIS JUST CONVINCES ME THAT MIZZOU HAS SOME WEIRD WEIRD PEOPLE!!! Omg I think I am going to go vomit.

[1savvydiva]

Originally posted by starang21
i'm chokin' someone. you'll find my ass on the news "angry asian man kills roomate for urinating on bed. news at 10."

You are a nut!

**details at 11...


____________________

Edited to add....WHAT THE FLOCK is up with these people who like to get pissed on? WHY is that enticing? What the hell? I have seen one too many stories about these crazyazzez today!