Pregnant and in a sorority - Page 4

ztaberry28 · #46 01-13-2008, 05:55 PM

I think Ill probably wait until late february to announce my engagement, I just told my big sister at lunch today and her and I are gonna really think about how to best break the news to my chapter, if we should do the candleight, but she is very happy for me, but understands that the whole chapter might not be so supportive. Our biggest concern besides the baby is the reputation of our chapter, we are in very high standings at our school and i would hate to jeopardize that, especially before spring rush. Im sure most of you guys understand how competitive it can get.

I absolutely love zeta and I really hate the thought of dropping, I wish there was some way to have the best of both worlds but my priorities are changing so much! On the brightside if its a girl it would be a legacy and if its a boy it would be a triple legacy for pi kappa phi, so itll be very greek... If only i could name it themis... haha

ZLAM

KSUViolet06 · #47 01-13-2008, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

Our biggest concern besides the baby is the reputation of our chapter, we are in very high standings at our school and i would hate to jeopardize that, especially before spring rush.

Something to think about, just because you tell your chapter, does not mean the whole entire Greek community needs to know you're pregnant. Your sisters should respect you enough not to tell anyone outside of Zeta, because it is of no concern to anyone else at your school except those you tell.

ZTABullwinkle · #48 01-13-2008, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

I absolutely love zeta and I really hate the thought of dropping, I wish there was some way to have the best of both worlds but my priorities are changing so much! On the brightside if its a girl it would be a legacy and if its a boy it would be a triple legacy for pi kappa phi, so itll be very greek... If only i could name it themis... haha

ZLAM

Remember, you aren't dropping ZTA. You are taking early alumna status. Two very different things.

Good luck with everything. As for names for a girl, you do have some founders you could name the baby after!

FSUZeta · #49 01-14-2008, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZTABullwinkle

Remember, you aren't dropping ZTA. You are taking early alumna status. Two very different things.

Good luck with everything. As for names for a girl, you do have some founders you could name the baby after!

i am so glad you brought that up. going early alum. just grants you alumna status ;you are still a zeta! you just don't have the obligations of attending weekly chapter meetings, socials, sisterhoods or paying dues-which will be a blessing because babies cost a lot-diapers, stroller, diaper bag, clothes, crib-it goes on and on, but is so much fun to shop for them!

i am sure that your chapter will let you participate in anything that you would like to-and as for recruitment, you could assist as an alumna and go home after the last party and not have to stay up all night voting!

mystikchick · #50 01-14-2008, 12:47 PM

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy and engagement. I just wanted to say, I highly doubt the older girls will condemn you for being pregnant - being wild/sleeping around and getting pregnant by accident and having a baby within a committed relationship where marriage is intended are two VERY different things. I would hope that even those sisters who look down on the behavior of the younger members can remember that and not be judgmental.

Good luck for a safe, healthy and happy pregnancy, and hopefully your sisters will be thrilled for you and help you celebrate. Plus you'll have a guaranteed pool of babysitters!

joliebelle · #51 01-14-2008, 08:37 PM

one of our chapter members is pregnant and announced it during a candle passing at Chapter. She was engaged beforehand, and this was just another new suprise for us! We're all very supportive of her, as I'm sure your sisters will be of you

ztaberry28 · #52 01-15-2008, 12:26 AM

hey everyone I wannna express my gratitude to all of you for your supportive emails and replies.

Tonight I stood up in front of my chapter and told them first that I was engaged and then that I am expecting. I told them how much they mean to me and how much their sisterhood has meant to me, but because Im on a 18 hour course load ( A BIG COURSELOAD!) and Im dealing with the stresses and pains of pregnancy it is best for me drop. I told them that even though I am no longer gonna be an active member than I will always consider them my sisters and I hope that they will always consider me their sister.

After I told them they all came and gave me hugs and asked to see the ring ( 3 carats fyi) and told me congrats and that no matter what I am always their sister. I chose not to go alumna because it really isnt something that interests me at this point in my life and I have much bigger things to worry about than being in a sorority. It doesnt change how I feel about my sisters and I firmly believe thats how they feel about me.

And to add a little twist to it, when i got home I had a message on my facebook from another sister in the pledge class above mine telling me she is also pregnant and got engaged! Our due dates are only 4 days apart and her and I are gonna help each other and continue our sisterhood!

Again thanks to you all and wish me luck as i start this new chapter in my life!
ZLAM

SthrnZeta · #53 01-15-2008, 12:34 AM

ztaberry, as much as I'm sure you've thought about this and as much as I want to support your decision as your sister, I am really saddened that you are dropping rather than going alum. Many women later in life regret this very decision and it is much harder to try and get reinstated than it is to just merely get involved in a local alumnae chapter after having been inactive for a while. I urge you to reconsider this decision - being considered alum does not mean you have to continue to give up much of your time as your chapter dictates in undergrad. The saying that you get what you put in applies even more to women who are alumnae. Of course no one will be upset if you go alum and are not able to give to ZTA what you have been so far - you have a lot on your plate, but that's not to say that in the future you won't be able to or want to participate and contribute to ZTA. True, sorority life may not "interest you" right now, but you don't know how you'll feel in 10 years. Before you go through with de-badging, think hard about what brought you to ZTA. I'm not saying that the women you call sisters now won't still love and support you as such when you leave, but being an alumna, you will continue to meet other sisters who will love and support you also and I for one could never imagine giving that up, at least not for good. I think FSUZeta had a good point: "i am so glad you brought that up. going early alum. just grants you alumna status ;you are still a zeta! you just don't have the obligations of attending weekly chapter meetings, socials, sisterhoods or paying dues-which will be a blessing because babies cost a lot-diapers, stroller, diaper bag, clothes, crib-it goes on and on..." Don't forget - Zeta is forever!

ZLAM,
Melissa

melsigkap · #54 01-15-2008, 04:00 AM

3 carats! Geeeeez!
ETA: I don't quite understand why you'd drop. Sisterhood is for life, and while pregnant, I can't imagine ZTA would expect too much from you during this busy period in your life.

kddani · #55 01-15-2008, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by melsigkap

3 carats! Geeeeez!
ETA: I don't quite understand why you'd drop. Sisterhood is for life, and while pregnant, I can't imagine ZTA would expect too much from you during this busy period in your life.

3 carats? Guess they won't have to worry about how to provide for the baby. Even if the diamond is of poor quality, that's 10's of thousands of dollars. Not too shabby for a college kid. Though who would want to wear that every day...

This thread was believable until the 3 carats came in...

WhiteDaisy128 · #56 01-15-2008, 07:53 AM

Please consider going alum. As an alum, you do not have to give any time to the organization...but if you ever want to, you can. The benefits of having sisters all over the world is amazing...later in life, when you move, etc. it's nice to have some roots already in place. And you are taking away legacy status from your baby if it's a little girl.

It is your decision, but I don't see what it would "hurt" to go alum.

AlphaFrog · #57 01-15-2008, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kddani

3 carats? Guess they won't have to worry about how to provide for the baby. Even if the diamond is of poor quality, that's 10's of thousands of dollars. Not too shabby for a college kid. Though who would want to wear that every day...

This thread was believable until the 3 carats came in...

Exactly what I was thinking. Unless it was 3 carats worth of little diamonds (not sure how that would fit on a ring, unless it was a 3-stone)....even that would be pretty expensive though...

ETA: The fact that she's got a chapter sister who's also pregnant and due within 4 days is also a bit suspect. O RLY?

DaemonSeid · #58 01-15-2008, 08:29 AM

Dang...who got you pregnant?

Donald Trump?

SthrnZeta · #59 01-15-2008, 08:32 AM

Maybe her fiance told her it was 3 carats and she doesn't know better...? J told me I had a total carat weight of 1.25 and then told me that the center stone was 0.75 and the side stones were 0.3 each, then the stones in the band equaled 0.25. Doesn't add up does it? Luckily, I knew better and called him on it - he didn't even know what he bought! He thought it was a platinum band until I looked at the receipt and saw 18 kt white gold! Poor guy, LOL. At least he bought with his heart. So, that may be the case...?

AlphaFrog · #60 01-15-2008, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SthrnZeta

Maybe her fiance told her it was 3 carats and she doesn't know better...? J told me I had a total carat weight of 1.25 and then told me that the center stone was 0.75 and the side stones were 0.3 each, then the stones in the band equaled 0.25. Doesn't add up does it? Luckily, I knew better and called him on it - he didn't even know what he bought! He thought it was a platinum band until I looked at the receipt and saw 18 kt white gold! Poor guy, LOL. At least he bought with his heart. So, that may be the case...?

I would think a woman would know what 3 carats look like... But I guess it could be a 3-stone that's 1 TCW, and that's where she got 3 carats from.