nolegirl88's FSU recruitment thread!

[NoleMom]

Nolegirl, you are no doubt exhausted beyond belief. Rushing has got to be such hard work, staying "up" and going at such a pace! You take heart, there is no right or wrong at this point - you just need some sleep. Say a little prayer, turn it over and you'll feel better in the morning. I'm sorry you were disappointed today. But remember that the rushers are probably exhausted too and surely didn't want to offend you or at least I hope not.
Just do your best and my best wishes will be with you tomorrow - take heart!

[violetpretty]

Keep your chin up and keep going. Pref night is really the best time to decide where you feel comfortable/if you want to go greek or not, since you get a more comprehensive view of the sororities, and since you'll be visiting chapters that want you there.

Showing interest is often a fine line between excitement and cockiness. A good way to show interest is to ask lots of questions and look happy to be there. Talk about what positions you could take--and maybe you are talking to a girl with a position, and she can elaborate on what she does. Interest in leadership is a good indicator that a PNM is interested and would be a good member. Obviously, if you're not interested in taking a leadership position, don't feign interest. You can ask about living in the house, too, if that interests you.

Ask about the new member period and if they have or what kind of big/lil activities. Ask the sister about her big or little. This is a good way to gear conversation toward something a little more meaningful, because you can get an idea of how strong their sisterhood is. Hope this helps, and stick with it, it's worth it at the end!

[adpiucf]

Don't take one bad day at a house you've loved up to this point to cloud your opinion of that chapter. FSU chapters house many, many members. If you join a sorority, you will be sharing membership with the other sorority sisters, but it is a virtual guarantee that you won't love every single one. There will be a few with whom you may have completely different views. That is normal and the way of the world in being a part of a women's organization, sorority or no. You won't click with every single person.

It could just be you spoke with someone today who isn't a good rusher, was tired, or just isn't someone you'd click with. Remember that you've had a great time with those women up to this point and don't let one bad experience ruin your experience overall.

If you're shy, it's ok to say so or to say you're feeling nervous. It helps to keep a smile on your face, a light squeeze when you're shaking hands and to be prepared with questions. Lean in ever so slightly when someone is speaking-- this, along with smiling, makes you appear interested. If you have something in common with your recruiter, like a love of a certain TV show or activity, you may find the conversations a little easier than dry discussion about dues and philanthropy events. When you're talking about philanthropy, maybe you can reference the community service you have done and express your interest in the sorority's philanthropy by asking thoughtful questions or expressing appreciation for the chapter's philanthropy activities.

Continue to keep an open mind. With over 100 per chapter, you could easily find a fit in any one, and make strong friendships to make your FSU experience very special, indeed!

[FSUZeta]

i am so sorry that you are feeling a little discouraged-but i have to say that your feelings are normal. you have been trooping around in the tallahassee heat, up and down the hills, from one end of campus to the other and back again. you have been rained on, probably cat called or whistled at by the boys and stared at by passers by. rush week is tough!!

someone said something that was less than impressive-i'll bet the person in question didn't even realize what she had said. when she thinks back about the conversation she had with you, she most likely will feel really bad. but then, maybe she did not have any negative intent with what she said.it does go to show us all that we should be careful about what we say-if someone does not know us well, they can misinterpret what we actually meant.

i hope that you will overlook it, especially since you have really liked the house up to now. wouldn't it be sad if you decided not to go back, and then your feelings changed a few months down the line?

it is also hard to hear that other girls have the maximum invitations each day while others don't. don't worry about those girls-just keep going to the ones who want to get to know you better.

i think that if you drop out of recruitment now, you will end up regretting it. many of these sororities recruit just once a year and this is the only opportunity fsu pnms have to join those chapters. if your heart belongs to a smaller group, you may be able to join via informal recruitment(which is much more relaxed and informal, hence the name:-) ) but even still, you are taking a chance-they might pledge up to quota/total and not participate in informal recruitment this year.

i hope that you feel better today and that the positive attitude you have exhibited all thru the week is back. hugs to you!!

[ThetaPrincess24]

I would highly encourage you to stick things out till the end. While there may be some houses now you dont feel like you mesh with (and we all do during recruitment) you never know when your opinion may change.

I wont give details about my recruitment here and what I ended up doing in the end, but after recruitment was over, school started, and I started getting involved with the other greek activities and what not that went on. My opinions about the chapters I didnt like very well during recruitment changed a lot. I changed my opinions on all them in fact. While I dont regret pledging my sorority in the least, I honestly think I wouldve fit in and had been just as happy in any chapter at my school. There are GREAT members in ALL of them. Try not to let one or two people that you talk to at one chapter and happen to not click with that one day influence you. They are one or two people out of a chapter of 100 or so, plus you'll have your pledge class sisters coming in as well. The members that you did talk to previously at these chapters that you liked are still there and will be there when recruitment is over.

[nolegirl88]

I got my invites back--dropped from all of my favorites, leaving only Germany and Mexico. It bothered me a bit, but my rho gam encouraged me to try them out. I had a better conversation in Mexico than I had the other two days, but I just don't feel that is the place for me. The girls were nice, but I think I'd be just 'settling' if I took that house..I really felt the place for me was Greece, where I could be myself and be comfortable. I have a few hours till I have to decide if I want to drop or not. Mexico, I still don't feel comfortable in and I know it's not the house for me. I'm really stuck--don't know whether to settle for a house and hope it turns out well, or to drop out and maybe try again next year (with better grades and such--which I think was a big part of the cuts I got). I'm kind of sad right now, I don't see what I could have done wrong in 13 houses to make them think I wasn't for them.

[ThetaPrincess24]

I would encourage you to go back to these two houses and still give them a chance.If at the end of preference night you still feel strongly about it, then simply dont sign any bid card/preference card after your parties are over so someone that wants to be there can get that spot.

[Ocalagirl]

OK if anyone knows how you feel its me. I kept getting dropped by my top two choices. But I gave the two chapters I chance that I kept getting invited back to and I must say I was pretty suprised how comfortable I felt at a place that just two days ago I did not want to go back to. A really good friend of mine told me to trust the sororities because they know better than you whether you will fit in or not. I know its hard to realize this while going through, but I swear now my rank of sororities would change which ones would be on top...not all the way but yes some now I'm not sure if I would fit in there. Keep going through it and hold your head up high. I wish you best of luck and hopefully everything will work out for you!

Ashton

[PenguinTrax]

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24

I would encourage you to go back to these two houses and still give them a chance.If at the end of preference night you still feel strongly about it, then simply dont sign any bid card/preference card after your parties are over so someone that wants to be there can get that spot.

I concur...I would attend preference if invited to do so. Each chapter here has amazing women in it and I truly believe you can have a positive outcome, even though it's hard to see it right now.

[pinkyphimu]

stick it out through pref. i would also encourage you to consider your reasons for not liking those two houses. i am not asking you to post your replies, but just give it some thought. do you feel uncomfortable at those houses because of negative things you have heard people say about them (they are the smallest, they are unpopular, anyone can get a bid there, etc. etc. etc)? do you feel uncomfortable there because the girls you talked to did/ said something terrible (made fun of other rushees, said your hair looked like a rats nest, etc.)? look at the reasons why you felt more comfortable at the other house...could it be the girls you talked to at the other house were more outgoing or you had more in common with them than perhaps the ones you met at the other houses? in the end, you should make your decision based on what you feel is best for you. i wish you luck! i have heard great things about all of the chapters there.

if you decide after the pref parties and after really looking at why you didn't feel comfortable there that you truly are not a fit, then don't fill out a pref card. then you will be eligible to participate in cob.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by pinkyphimu

if you decide after the pref parties and after really looking at why you didn't feel comfortable there that you truly are not a fit, then don't fill out a pref card. then you will be eligible to participate in cob.

I'm so sorry to hear about Greece. But pinkyphimu is absolutely right, go to the pref ceremonies. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. If things still aren't right then don't fill out a pref card. Don't fill out a pref card, because at a lot of schools, if you receive a bid from a sorority you preferenced you're bound to that sorority for one year (or some other period of time).

Good luck. My best friend, one of the wisest women I know likes to say "if it ain't right, it ain't over" and I think this is exactly what you need to keep in mind. I hope it turns out right for you sooner rather than later.

[Stef the Pef]

Amen on the part about giving pref a shot. What else are you going to do during that time? Pref ceremonies are powerful and are great ways to know whether or not you really "fit" with that chapter or not. If it feels right, fill out a pref card, but if not, don't. I didn't felt like the chapter I preffed was the one for me, but lo and behold, I was snapped up by the right chapter the next day. I'm not going to lie, though, that was one of the toughest decisions I ever made, but it's something you just "know" if you have to make it. If someone's interested in you, they'll let you know if they want you after formal recruitment's over. If not, try COR or colonizing events. Those are less formal and great ways to really get to know a chapter once formal recruitment is done. Just don't write off chapters before going to pref, though! They may win your heart tonight. Good luck!

[nolegirl88]

Well I went to pref at both houses. I enjoyed Mexico, but I still don't "feel it" as I did for Greece. I could not see myself at Germany, even after their pref..I know that's just not the house for me. I could settle for Mexico, or maybe rush again next year (knowing more people and understanding more about the process) and try for Greece (or some other house)..I feel like I was not given many options after the 10 cuts after the first round, so I might want to try again next year with a better GPA and more confidence (I was extremely nervous and sort of shy and awkward the first round). PLEASE give me somadvice on what to do!! My rho gam encouraged me to rank the two I went to and said I didnt' have to sign a bid card tomorrow if I don't want to..if I sign a bid (say, to mexico) and change my mind, does that mean I can't rush next year (sophomore) or that I could never join another sorority (npc) ever?? I don't think I'd want to do COB or informal, I might just want to be independant for a year and meet some people and get a better feel for each sorority on campus.

[pinkyphimu]

i am glad to hear that you did attend both parties and gave them a chance.

Originally Posted by nolegirl88

or that I could never join another sorority (npc) ever?? .

if you pledge a sorority and drop prior to initiation, then you are eligible to go through recruitement for another organization.

Originally Posted by nolegirl88

PLEASE give me somadvice on what to do!! My rho gam encouraged me to rank the two I went to and said I didnt' have to sign a bid card tomorrow if I don't want to...

someone with more experience on your campus can clarify just in case they do something different, but i believe that ranking the sororities after pref means that you will accept a bid from them. that is what binds you for one calendar year and makes you ineligible for cob.

Originally Posted by nolegirl88

if I sign a bid (say, to mexico) and change my mind, does that mean I can't rush next year (sophomore) I don't think I'd want to do COB or informal, I might just want to be independant for a year and meet some people and get a better feel for each sorority on campus.

you will be eligible for formal recruitment next year, just not cob this year.

i hope someone from your campus can hop in and clarify about the signing bids topic.

good luck and thanks for sharing your story.

[FSUZeta]

pinkyphimu was right on the money-if you pledge mexico and depledge you will be able to participate in formal recruitment next year.

if you do not sign your bid card and remain independent, or sign the bid card and depledge, be sure to become involved in some activites on campus-dance marathon, some volunteer organization, and work hard to make the best grades you can. sororities look for good grades and girls who want to make a difference in their community.

also get recommendations-it is not a guarantee you will be invited back, but for some houses, it is pretty much a guarantee you WON'T be invited back.

you know what is best for you-i think that you will make the right decision.