Divorce or premarital Sex?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by aephi alum
But if a couple divorces and then one of them dies, the other is free to remarry, right? In the eyes of the Church they'd be a widow/widower, right? You can't reconcile with an ex who's dead.

That's why you kill your husband before you divorce him...

JUST KIDDING!!!! DAYUM!!!!

Anyhoo...

Wasn't Mary Magdelene a prostitute that was going to be stoned to death by many a man for whatever reason...

Then the men asked Jesus if he believed in capital punishment and Jesus said, "let no one without sin, cast the first stone..." because He knew that each an everyone of those men slept with Mary Magdelene... Then Jesus told her, "go and sin no more"...

The fact is, fornication is wrong... But in the Bible, there is a whole bunch of folks fornicating...

I think what is wrong with it is the "willy nilly" masterbationist jack-hammering only to suffice a need that can never be fullfilled--if you catch my drift...

See, if your body is your temple and your spirit resides in it... And the sexual organs that respond to intimacy, called errogenous zones, allows any old body to touch it and stimulate it as if it were an emotion being tossed to and fro in the wind of a storm, then it would seem that the reason for why sleeping around before you are formally committed to someone causes a kind of pain so damaging that one is in fact feels like he or she is in Hell...

In fact sex can become an addiction by power, by conquest, by out-manuvering your opponent, etc. And I do not think that is what God intended with sex--aside from it's procreative ability...

It is meant to share your innermost being, your essence, your sacred spot, your secrets, your hurts, your pains. Not to BE YOUR GOD--but to TOUCH THE VERY ESSENCE OF YOUR SPIRIT--some say your Godhead... That's why is knocks the socks off of some folks...

Wielding such power by throwing caution to the wind is the part I think that God wants folks to refrain from...

And the fact that there are no other gods before Him...

I think organized religions made it such that to repress women in such a way because it was believed that life comes ONLY from a woman... Yes, a woman carries out a pregnancy--but it takes 2 to tango... What got left over from years back was to suppress the very nature of woman--her sexual power making her in a subservient life--much like Mary Magdelene was before Jesus told her to stop sinning... Why? Because it would get her killed if she chose not to stop...

Does marriage cause one to stop sexual sinning? NO...

A marriage contract is a STATE INSTITUTION by the Federal Government--i.e. you need a license to be married... Otherwise, same-sex marriages would not be a big issue if it was only a religious affiliation...

However, the STATE does want to make the marriage institution more contractually binding... Meaning, think about who you are saying your "I do's" to before you marry them, are they worth it???

So, is divorce wrong? Probably not in domestically violent situations or situations that could escalate to that or in cases of straight up abandonment. Boredom of the other person and growing apart... I personally have a hard time believing... But given that I get bored with my husband sometimes, it doesn't seem too difficult to see that logic...

So, in a roundabout way, if you are going to have plenty of sex, do it right and always protect yourself at all times... But if you need that commitment marriage contract to have all the bucket wild sex you've always sought, think again...

AKA_Monet, I think me and you would get along quite well! I like your post!

[honeychile]

I feel the need to give valkyrie a big hug and tell her that she's good in my book!

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by ilovemyglo
This thread got me thinking.

You could've just said "Cashmoney got me thinking"

[Tippiechick]

To me, a sin is a sin and carries the same weight.

So, to answer your questions, they are both equally sins.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by valkyrie
This is not directed at anyone here, but in general, I have never understood how it is anything but hypocritical for practicing Christians to have premarital sex and act like it's okay and not a violation of Christian teachings and morals.

Me neither. Especially when these people wear their faith on their sleeves.

[irishpipes]

I grew up a Catholic in a VERY Catholic part of the country. As a young adult I moved to a very non-Catholic part of the country in the heart of the bible belt. I had to actually think about WHY Catholics do things in order to "defend" or explain it to non-Catholics around me who questioned it. I never had to do that growing up because virtually everyone was Catholic there. Later, I married a non-Catholic who converted. Through his conversion, I was fortunate enough to learn things I never understood growing up.

My point is that the Catholic Church does a poor job of teaching the religion to its followers and to others. There are so many misconceptions, and this thread is full of them. I don't profess to be the expert on Catholicism but I am now fairly knowledgeable, and I hope that those of you who have posted issues that you take with the church will take the trouble to follow up on them. You may be surprised at the answers you find. The problem is finding the proper sources for your answers because there is a lot of bad information out there. (And I am not arrogant enough to suggest that I am the right source, either.)

Also, as to why many Catholics are reluctant to change religions even if they are unhappy with the Church? I think there are many reasons. Primarily, the eucharist. If you believe in transubstantiation, NO OTHER religion offers this. There is also the cultural aspect of Catholicism (which could be described as ritual and tradition.) But there are many other very, very compelling reasons (primacy of Peter, sola scriptura, sacraments, etc.)

It is sort of like Greek life in that you can't explain it to someone on the outside looking in.

Side note: To the GCer who wondered if she is a bastard now that her parents are divorced/annulled. No. That is not what anullments do, and my parents are divorced/annulled as well.

[AGDee]

Originally posted by xo_kathy
Ah, but as our very knowledgeable friend MysticCat once pointed out:

"The older Protestant groups -- the Lutherans, Presbyterians and Anglicans -- all teach that the Body and Blood of Christ are received in the Sacrament. They may disagree with each other (and with the Catholic Church) about how this happens, but they do teach that it does happen."

But again, I guess it's in the details.

Next question -
So, my parents got married in the Catholic church and had my brother and I. Then they got divorced. Many years later my dad wanted to get remarried so he asked my mom to go through with the annullment. So, doesn't that make my brother and I bastards in the eyes of the church and make my parents real sinners?

Funny part of the annullment - it didn't go through in time for the second marriage. So, not only did my dad have to get married in a Presbyterian church (which is what my mom happens to be), but it was a female minister! We're lucky Grandma didn't have a heart attack that day!

In the eyes of the church you are not bastards even though your parents got their marriage annulled. But, I'll be honest. I had my first marriage annulled and was married the second time in the Catholic church again. I definitely have grounds for getting the second one annulled also, but it's not worth the trouble to me. To me, that's one of those things that is simply a red tape paperwork man made church thing rather than a "between me and God" thing. Ultimately, it's not the church I have to reconcile my actions with, it's God. And, that's how I think a lot of the so-called "cafeteria Catholics" feel (although I can't speak for them).

Dee

[AGDee]

Originally posted by aephi alum
But if a couple divorces and then one of them dies, the other is free to remarry, right? In the eyes of the Church they'd be a widow/widower, right? You can't reconcile with an ex who's dead.

That's correct.

ETA: I had a very fundamentalist friend tell me that I had Crohn's Disease because I wasn't praying hard enough. She had no idea how hard I was praying! No matter how Christian a person is, they are going to become ill at times and even die of something. Sometimes prayers help heal, but some bad things just happen and some things are even God's will. I will never feel quite comfortable around that particular person again because of that comment.

[ilovemyglo]

Originally posted by cashmoney
You could've just said "Cashmoney got me thinking"

My boyfriend hates when I think of all these other guys...

[honeychile]

Originally posted by AGDee
Ultimately, it's not the church I have to reconcile my actions with, it's God.

Dee

Faith in a nutshell!!

I think that's why I tend to be attracted (or take more seriously) the churchs which don't have some big Mother Church to answer to.

[LightBulb]

An interesting read (well, I didn't read the whole thing..) about the difference between transubstantiation and consubstantiation: http://www.christiancourier.com/ques...onQuestion.htm

Also, something I learned recently -
not sure if this is true for all branches of Christianity, but I know in the Catholic faith, the communion hosts (wafers) are required to have wheat in them. I learned this because one of the children at a First Communion I saw this past year was allergic to wheat. She got a separate host (it had been consecrated with the other hosts) that had only trace amounts of wheat. JTIS.

[christiangirl]

Ok, I've only skimmed this thread, so if I repeat somebody please excuse me.

From what I understand, fornication is a sin, perhaps not because of this, but this is an example I was given. In Genesis, God made Adam and Eve just for each other--she was his compliment and the two paired. This is the Bible's first "marriage." And in there it says something to the effect of, "And for this reason a man shall leave his family with his wife and the two shall become one flesh." Now, in I Cor. 6:16, a man "became one flesh" with a prostitute, so it's pretty clear what is meant by that phrase. That's why we believe you don't have sex before you're married, because God used A&E as an example of what marriage should be--you are paired up for life AND THEN have sex. It's not in some list of rules, but this is mentioned several times in the Bible so it's taken as such.

Having said that, I do believe fornication is wrong, therefore I have no intention of doing it. I believe it's wrong when people lose their virginity before they are married and I'll say so if I'm asked. Also (shoot me if you must), I go by a different rule for casting stones. I don't see it as no one can "cast a stone" at me if they've also done wrong. Just be prepared when I throw it back. So I don't think it's all that wrong for divorced people to talk about what you've done, that's their right to feel that way. But when you point out all of their dirt, they better not say a word about it. But honestly there is a disclaimer: if you didn't ask them what they think, they shouldn't be talking about it anyway.

[christiangirl]

*I'm putting this in a separate reply b/c this isn't something I've seen in this thread, it's something else I want to discuss. I'm really upset about something that happened a few days ago and need to vent.*

I also think that people assume that most Christians are putting themselves on a pedastal, but really they are the ones who put us there. Isn't assuming that I am judgemental passing a judgement on me? I have heard countless times that people didn't tell me they're having sex b/c "you'd just judge me for it." I don't get invited out with my friends, because since I don't drink, they "just know you'll be in our faces about drinking." Just because I'm God's child doesn't make me Jesus. Christians (especially virgins) are HUMAN--I'm in college, if I had a dime for every time I've wanted to do something I shouldn't, I could pay off my student loans. I think when people are disappointed in their own behavior, they assume others are as well (especially those who supposedly live by a higher standard) and end up lashing out at that person for having feelings when they never did. They protect themselves from what they think my reaction will be. And I resent that people's faith in my impartialness suffers because they feel bad about what they did. If I'm your friend, then I'll love you no matter what you did. A judgement and an opinion are 2 different things. I may not like what you did and believe you need to turn from it, but I'm not gonna beat you over the head with a Bible, and if you think I am, then don't try to punish me before I get even get that far. I hate having to find out that all my friends went out without me or that I missed out on some great girl talks because they assumed I'd react a certain way and tried to keep me from doing something that I'd have never done in the first place. This isn't always, but it happens too much for me not to be annoyed.

I know I didn't get around to the thread topic, but I needed that one. I'll post something that actually makes sense later, thanx for the air space.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by ilovemyglo
My boyfriend hates when I think of all these other guys...

Well if he ever sees me he'll have good cause. All boyfriends get jealous when they see their girlfriends talking to me.