My son is going to flunk 1st grade

[MissMonika]

If he is not interested in reading. he may be really good at it, but not interested. I am not saying to not go to testing, but it may be an option.

Also, If you are a member of a church with an education center, You could probably talk them into starting a book club.

[Dionysus]

I'm assuming since this is a thread about a boy with reading difficulties and some posters worrying about labels being slapped on him, that the label is dyslexia. If I'm right, there is NO evidence that dyslexia is being overdiagnosed. There is also no evidence that every child that goes through testing will get falsely diagnosed with someting. Testing is used to RULE out problems.

[ilovemyglo]

Wendi you know your son, we don't.

I will say this,
My brother had to go through all those "tests" and they wanted to retain him, but my parents wouldn't let them. They worked with him at home and basically after two years it all came out- He was a good reader, didn't have any problems, but he was bored with the material. At home my parents had him reading books about bears eating at picnics in the park and at school he was reading about Little Susie and her puppy, but when they switched to ghost stories and action type books, my brother would whizz through them.

It can honestly be something that simple.

Some testing is okay, but I know some of those tests are VERY invasive (they totally wipe out a kids' motivations for awhile). I remember my brother coming home (keep in mind he was ADHD without any medication) and going straight to bed. He sort of got depressed because they gave him the "There is something wrong, we don't know what". Kid's pick up on that.

Say some prayers, talk to the teacher, get the principal involved, but definitely look at all of your options before jumping on a promise of a miracle.

BTW- My brother is a chemical engineer now, so not holding him back didn't hurt him one iota.

[MysticCat]

Originally posted by cashmoney
I'd just like to point out one important fact here....

All these people saying "get your son tested" are all females who obviously never were a little boy in the 1st grade who had these problems. Its kind of funny how the two guys here telling you what you ought to do, who have been through this stuff personally, are the only ones telling you not to do it and rather spend more time with him yourself along with your husband and fix the actual problem.

OK. Here's another guy, with a son, who says stop making completely baseless assumptions about whether Wendi and her husband are spending enough time to "actually fix the problem."

Wendi says that her son does very well socially and in math, but has trouble reading, especially recognizing sight words. Saying that testing might be called for in no way suggests that he's retarded or has ADHD,nor does it suggest that she and her husband aren't doing all they can. It does, however, recognize that there just might be a reading disability at the root of his reading problems. All the "time with him yourself along with your husband" to "fix the actual problem" in the world will be a waste of time if someone doesn't have an accurate read on what the "problem" actually is. That's all anybody who has suggested testing is trying to say, you can't fix the problem if you don't know what it is.

Of course, you are right is that the first course is to talk to the kid to really try to understand what's going on with him. Just don't assume that Wendi and her husband haven't been doing a lot of that.

I can tell you from experience that parents can invest a great deal of time talking with their kids and working on the problem, but it goes a lot better if you know what the problem is, and sometimes you need professional assistance to figure that out.

Yes, some doctors/professionals are always going to diagnose something -- that's why parents have to be careful whom they seek help from and always remember that they know their child better than anyone. But I also know from experience that sometimes the professional help is needed to help school personnel understand what your child's specific challenges are and how to work with them. Sometimes teachers form their own opinions and make their own "diagnoses" and it takes the professional (who may be the school counselor) to say, "no, that's not what's going on here."

I will agree, again from my own experience, that women often really do not understand how a boy's mind and interior life work. There are a few books that I think can be very helpful on this front:

Raising Cain : Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

and

Speaking of Boys : Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons.

Parenting isn't easy, and everybody is more than willing to tell you how to do it and what you're doing wrong. And no offense, Craig and Rudey, but most parents I know basically pay little attention to the advice of people without kids unless the advisor also has special skills or knowledge that gives credibility. Otherwise, no kids = no credibility. May not be fair, but that's how it tends to work.

Wendi -- the best advice I have is

(1) Hang in there;

(2) Remember that you and Dad know your son better than anyone else;

(3) Set up a meeting with the teacher, principal, the reading resource person and the school counselor as soon as possible to talk about your son's reading. Explore options -- some schools set up "teams" or teachers from a variety of disciplines that look at a child's particular challenges and try to help the teacher and parents come up with strategies that work for that kid; and

(4) Don't let anyone tell your son that there is something "wrong" with him. If I had to guess, I would guess that's why you didn't see the note for a while -- embarrassment.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes. In case you can't tell, this one hits close to home for me, so feel free to PM if you like.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by MysticCat81
And no offense, Craig and Rudey, but most parents I know basically pay little attention to the advice of people without kids unless the advisor also has special skills or knowledge that gives credibility.

1) What did Rudey say? I asked a question.

and

2) I'm the smartest person on this website and that gives me great credibility. :P

-Rudey

[MysticCat]

Originally posted by Rudey
1) What did Rudey say? I asked a question.

Sorry if I lumped you in without warrant. I was referring more to Craig's post that I quoted: "Its kind of funny how the two guys here telling you what you ought to do, who have been through this stuff personally, are the only ones telling you not to do it and rather spend more time with him yourself along with your husband and fix the actual problem." I was thinking you were the other guy, but maybe my brain slipped during the long, drawn out post I posted.

(2) I'm the smartest person on this website and that gives me great credibility.

Can't argue with that one. Or, at least, I won't.

[pinkyphimu]

as a special educator...here is my two cents...


1. do the testing...and rule out a reading disability now. don't wait until your son is in 5th grade to find out that he had a reading disability.

2. speak with the reading recovery teacher as well as his classroom teacher. perhaps he needs a different type of reading instruction (there are several methods for teaching reading) and he might do better with a different method.

3. DO NOT HIRE high schoolers to teach your kid to read. most people don't realize how difficult it is to teach reading and you don't want an untrained person doing it.

4. definately get a hold of the teacher and discuss the problem, but make an appointment shortly thereafter to meet with the principal. bring the note along. unfortunately, the principal needs to know that a teacher did this. in my school system, we can not even discuss with a parent that we might like to retain a child unless we have had a zillion meetings with the principal, guidance councilor, sped teacher, etc. etc. etc. and then there is a specific procedure. no where in that procedure does it say to send a note home in a backpack....

5. good luck!

[winnieb]

I received an email from my son's teacher today. She told me that my son’s situation went before the review committee. He will be advanced to 2nd grade.

The teacher’s email said the committee felt that my son’s performance is all other areas warranted his being advanced. He will be “red flagged” for next year so he may receive extra help with his reading and spelling. She again confirmed that his social skills, math skills and everything else necessary to succeed are above par.

The teacher said his reading recovery teacher has noticed an improvement over the past month. I have also noticed an improvement as well. My son and I read together every night, and anything that he brings home I have him attempt to read to me and I read it aloud to him and he repeats the words as he points to them. We have worked a lot together.

Regarding testing for disabilities. I would never subject him to unneeded testing, such as those for ADHD, I know my child doesn’t have it and there is no purpose going thru it and listening to a suggestion that he be medicated. The testing we (the teacher and I) have discussed is to test him for dyslexia. According to the teacher it is a medical diagnosis and not a learning disability therefore, the district won’t test for it. Does anyone know how correct that is?

Thank you all for your support and suggestions—they are appreciated.
wendi

[kddani]

If I were you i'd still raise a little hell at how this was handled and how things were communicated to you. Yuck

[MysticCat]

Originally posted by alphagam-alum
I received an email from my son's teacher today. She told me that my son’s situation went before the review committee. He will be advanced to 2nd grade.

. . . .

The testing we (the teacher and I) have discussed is to test him for dyslexia. According to the teacher it is a medical diagnosis and not a learning disability therefore, the district won’t test for it. Does anyone know how correct that is?

Glad to hear it! And glad to hear that you and the reading recovery teacher are seeing progress.

As far as whether testing for dyslexia is a medical diagnosis, I don't know for sure, but I would guess that it might be. ADHD is a medical diagnosis. You might give your pediatrician a quick call to enquire about it.

[CSUSigEp]

Send him to Derek Zoolander's Center for kids who want to learn to read good and do other stuff good too.

[DolphinChicaDDD]

Originally posted by CSUSigEp
Send him to Derek Zoolander's Center for kids who want to learn to read good and do other stuff good too.

LMAO

I LOVE ZOOLANDER!!!!!
What is this? A center for ants? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?

[pinkyphimu]

Originally posted by alphagam-alum
Regarding testing for disabilities. I would never subject him to unneeded testing, such as those for ADHD, I know my child doesn’t have it and there is no purpose going thru it and listening to a suggestion that he be medicated. The testing we (the teacher and I) have discussed is to test him for dyslexia. According to the teacher it is a medical diagnosis and not a learning disability therefore, the district won’t test for it. Does anyone know how correct that is?

Thank you all for your support and suggestions—they are appreciated.
wendi

both adhd and dyslexia are medical diagnoses. the school district can not label a child with any disabilty, including adhd. for example, i have a student in my classroom who has never been formally evaluated by a neurologist. we all know that his diagnosis will be mental retardation, but we are unable to give him that label. the school district can do academic testing and write a report which they will ask you to share with his pediatrician or other doctor. speak to your pediatrician, he/she can probably reccommend someone in your area who can evaluate your son. given the information you shared, a clinical psychologist would probably be recommended.

best of luck!
pinky

[PsychTau2]

From a Master's in Counseling Psychology degree-holder (and one who could be a Licensed Psych Examiner if she takes the exam...)

I guess they consider ADHD and Dyslexia as "medical diagnoses" because they are differentially diagnosed and are listed in the DSM-IV. However, an MD isn't the one qualified to test and diagnose these conditions...someone with a Psychology/Psych Examiner Degree is. This would include a School Psychologist (the one who does the Special Ed testing).

Learning disabilities are also in the DSM and when diagnosed are listed on Axis I (same as ADHD and Dyslexia). Now that I think about it, exactly what did the school mean when they said that ADHD and Dyslexia were "medical diagnoses"...why did they refer you to an MD? If they work with Special Ed or School Psychologists, seems like they should know better.

i have a student in my classroom who has never been formally evaluated by a neurologist. we all know that his diagnosis will be mental retardation, but we are unable to give him that label. the school district can do academic testing and write a report which they will ask you to share with his pediatrician or other doctor.

See, that's weird to me. A school psychologist with a PhD (or a Master's level person supervised by a PhD) who works for the school CAN give that diagnosis. A teacher can't, but a licensed psych examiner can (at least in most states). A general MD/pediatrician would have no clue on how to diagnose MR...it takes an IQ score below 70 AND significant limitations in adaptive functioning in two skill areas (like communication skills, self care, home living, social skills, etc.) which means it takes a battery of tests to diagnose.

In any case, Wendi...you know your son the best. If you carefully observe him and his patterns, you could probably figure out what works for him and what doesn't without any sort of testing. You could also do some of your own "tests" by experimenting with different reading material, different patterns/routines at home, etc. to see what helps him excel.

Good luck on this!!
PsychTau

[cash78mere]

Originally posted by PsychTau2

See, that's weird to me. A school psychologist with a PhD (or a Master's level person supervised by a PhD) who works for the school CAN give that diagnosis. A teacher can't, but a licensed psych examiner can (at least in most states).

although technically maybe they can, they are not permitted to as a school psychologist (as far as i know). i don't know if it's for legal reasons or what, but parents have to go to outside practices to begin inquiring about getting a diagnosis.

as a teacher, i am not allowed to even HINT that a child may have add/adhd/learning disability. it really is hard because there are many children that can be helped if the teacher can put the parents on the right track. i can suggest they see a medical doctor to see what they recommend, but can be fired and/or disciplined if i mention he might be LD. although i am the person who teaches the child all day and would probably know best about his learning style, i have to keep my mouth shut. it's a shame, but for legal reasons, i understand why i have to do it.