Brainy women have trouble finding men

[starang21]

Originally posted by James
You know. Sometimes I wonder if the definition of brainy makes things a little confusing.

In studies of gifted people, they are usually giften in everything including social situations. Gifted being in terms of native aptitude versus studying hard, working hard, or being credentialed.

In facted gifted people gneerally fail of their full potential because they get caught up in the social aspects of life.

I think that when we are thinking of brainy, we tend to think in terms of credentials, and maybe over achieving. In which case it still comes down to social skills.

If you have good social skills, it doesn't matter what other things are going on.

The proverbial audio-visual kid often has less native aptitude than a popular bright kid that lazed his way through school because he/she didn't need to study. Even though the popular bright kid may not have had as good a GPA.

does the definition even matter? a lot of men are intimidated by a successful woman egardless of whether or not they have social skills because they are weak minded and they feel that such a woman would emasculate them.

a lot people who overachieve aren't inept in the social atmosphere that's like me saying that the biggest losers as far as academic achievement are always the coolest people. you're just assuming that they don't have the requisite social skills because they do well in school, regardless of their natural ability. that's a fallacy of logic. one does not equate the other.

[carnation]

I have a Ph.D. When I was in my twenties and guys heard I was working on it, I did indeed see some literally back off.

All of the women I teach with who have doctorates are married too but we all got married in our late twenties. We have often discussed whether it takes some men until their late twenties or older to not be scared off by women with a string of degrees. It always makes for interesting conversations!

[trojangal]

Originally posted by carnation


We have often discussed whether it takes some men until their late twenties or older to not be scared off by women with a string of degrees. It always makes for interesting conversations!

This seems to be so true! I was 28 when I got married and mr. trojangal was 32, and I had finished my Master's before we got married. Those of us who are married later tended to marry older men as well. Several women from my women's group at church seem to follow this same pattern as well. Many of us seem to hold the same opinion!

I wonder what the average marriage age is for women with advanced degrees.

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by starang21
a lot of men are intimidated by a successful woman egardless of whether or not they have social skills because they are weak minded and they feel that such a woman would emasculate them.

hmmmm . . . then:

Originally posted by starang21
you're just assuming that they don't have the requisite social skills because they do well in school, regardless of their natural ability. that's a fallacy of logic. one does not equate the other.

I'm pretty sure it's just as wrong to assume 'most men' are indimidated by successful women. Even if every other dude you know is, it's still anecdotal and a really weak assumption (and it's a self-perpetuating cycle, for the women who believe it).

[starang21]

Originally posted by KSig RC
hmmmm . . . then:






I'm pretty sure it's just as wrong to assume 'most men' are indimidated by successful women. Even if every other dude you know is, it's still anecdotal and a really weak assumption (and it's a self-perpetuating cycle, for the women who believe it).

lol, well you got me on that...but actually, there is more basis for that assumption (regarding weak minded men) in that thread considering the responses than the assumption that high achieving women are socially inept.

[aephi alum]

Originally posted by carnation
We have often discussed whether it takes some men until their late twenties or older to not be scared off by women with a string of degrees. It always makes for interesting conversations!

This is so very true! A lot of men, especially younger men, seem to be intimidated by women who can hold their own intellectually and don't need a man to support them financially.

During my freshman year, I went to a fraternity party at MIT (the fraternity shall remain nameless, but it was one of the "top" houses). One of the brothers was chatting me up, and everything was going great... until he asked me where I went to school. "So, do you go to X or Y?" X and Y are area universities, well-regarded but not MIT or Harvard. When I told him I went to MIT, he ran away so fast he left skid marks!

This fraternity, and a handful of others, flatly refused to mix with any of the MIT sororities. They'd hold mixers with BU sororities or groups at Wellesley, but never MIT. I guess we scared them...

[alphaalpha]

Originally posted by aephi alum


This fraternity, and a handful of others, flatly refused to mix with any of the MIT sororities. They'd hold mixers with BU sororities or groups at Wellesley, but never MIT. I guess we scared them...

I had a sociology teacher who went to college in the sixties and told us (through a long story) that men don't like to date the women they compete with academically. Guess that might still be true for some men.

I think that is sad. I have met lots of guys who like that i am intilligent (biology and sociology degrees), but these same guys seem to think that as soon as i get married that i am going to stop working and stay home and take care of him, because that is what his mom did. Well i have to say that if it is statistical for smart women to have a "harder time" getting marrier, maybe it is because those of us that are smart are intelligent enough to not take crap from men and actually have no reason to get married other than to have a equal partner. So us smart women who cant find an equal partner cause those guys (at least where i live) are hard to find and we have the intelligens to realise that we are worth more.

I don't get along with my family, one reason is cause the women don't seem to understand that the reason that i am not married is cause i DONT WANT TO BE. I am smart enought to find a job and take care of myself.

Its nice to find a thread with women who are scientists and achievers in their field.
debbie

[kddani]

Originally posted by alphaalpha
I have met lots of guys who like that i am intilligent

snark.

sorry, couldn't pass it up

[Optimist Prime]

Originally posted by Taualumna
The article says that men want women to be a copy of their mothers. Younger men probably had moms who worked, so does that mean they want a wife that works or one that is an opposite of their mom?

I want a woman that works

actually, I wouldn't marry anyone who didn't have her own career. Would need to be able to discuss something other than what happend on full house