Would you date someone with a "mental condition"?

[CarolinaCutie]

Originally posted by ktsnake
Wow.. y'all would rank ADHD up there as a mental condition?

I think this is one, particularly, that depends on the severity. I dated a guy for about two years who was ADHD, and on mild medication. It affected some aspects of his personal life, particularly school, in negative ways, but it was never even an issue in our relationship. People with severe ADHD, though, I could see it being more of a potential problem.

Responding to the original question, I think the whole thing is really so subjective. I think it would be really difficult for me to date someone who is depressed- I don't deal well with those types of things. I also would not want to date someone who would potentially endanger my safety. Other problems, like mild anxiety disorder, might not be so hard to deal with. I agree with what AXJules said- if it affects the ability of that person to be a good mate, then I might have my doubts or concerns. But really, all mental illnesses at some point affect quality of life, don't they? I don't have very much experience.

Thanks Ginger for sharing your story.

[James]

Just out of curiosity. How early in your relationship with a new person would you reveal that you have a "condition?" Or would you not reveal it at all unless it somehow came up?

Does anyone think that its something that should be put on the table on maybe the first date? Just to get it out in the open?

I know some people are real sticklers for full disclosure.

[winneythepooh7]

Hi everyone. As most of you know, I am a Social Worker. I work in a mental health agency with people "diagnosed" with various mental health conditions. I see the struggles they go through in their daily lives and most of my clients are the strongest people I know, and also live very happy productive lives despite the struggles they are faced with. There is a great deal of stigma surrounding anyone labeled with a mental condition. What I have learned though in my work with my "clients" and in my own personal life is that NO ONE is completely "stable" throughout their life. WE ALL deal with problems and become "crazy" at times. NO ONE is perfect and everyone becomes "a little bit mentally ill at times". If anyone has any questions about mental illness, feel free to PM me, I would be glad to talk to you about what I do Also seeking help is sometimes the most difficult thing ANYONE of us will face in our life, and admitting we AREN'T in control of our lives anymore. Put yourselves in someone else's shoes. How would you feel if you had to ask for help or were the one with "the mental illness"? How would you feel if you didn't have support of your family or friends, or the people working with you looked at you as "a difficult client"? Just some questions for thought. Have a good weekend everyone!!!!

[swissmiss04]

I actually have a couple of times. This fact was not disclosed to me before I dated these people, but had I known it to be the case, I doubt I would have pursued a serious relationship with them. Mind you both of them had *unmanaged* problems. If someone is schizophrenic, bipolar, etc and it is being professionally managed (and managed well) then I would have no qualms about it. I would hesitate to marry them because of the prevalence of disorders in my own family, unless there was no possibility of children.
It's definitely tough, especially if he/she ever gets institutionalized (this happened w/ my h.s. b.f.). You deal with a lot of ups and downs, not to mention irrational behavior. Some people just aren't cut out to deal w/ stuff like this.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by James
Just out of curiosity. How early in your relationship with a new person would you reveal that you have a "condition?" Or would you not reveal it at all unless it somehow came up?

First, I will probe to see how educated he is about the conditions I have. If he is not educated, or worse, denies that my conditions even exist...then hasta la vista! I don't think a relationship will work with someone who cannot or will not understand me. If he is educated, I probably won't reveal it...verbally. He'll find out sooner or later.

[Pike1483]

I think it's sad that there is such a stigma about mental health. People with mental health problems suffer from a chemical imbalance , just like people with diabetes . They can't help it. It's not like they choose to have a mental illness. I can understand being frustrated with someone or not wanting to date them if they refuse to treat their illness, and hey, it's really your cup of tea who you date. I would just say that people need to realize that there are TONS of awesome people out there with mental illnesses that live very normal lives and are fine when they use the proper treatment, and you might really hurt someone's feelings by stereotyping them as "crazy" and stuff like that. You wouldn't make fun of a Diabetic, because they can't help having diabetes, just like you shouldn't make fun of people with mental illnesses, because they can't help it either.

Interesting fact: the most prescribed drugs in America are anti-depressants.

[Corsulian]

I dated a crazy girl for two years--it was not a good idea. (Clue #1: the multiple scars up and down her wrists) However now many girls now seem pretty sane in comparison.

[sairose]

Originally posted by Pike1483
I think it's sad that there is such a stigma about mental health. People with mental health problems suffer from a chemical imbalance , just like people with diabetes . They can't help it. It's not like they choose to have a mental illness. I can understand being frustrated with someone or not wanting to date them if they refuse to treat their illness, and hey, it's really your cup of tea who you date. I would just say that people need to realize that there are TONS of awesome people out there with mental illnesses that live very normal lives and are fine when they use the proper treatment, and you might really hurt someone's feelings by stereotyping them as "crazy" and stuff like that. You wouldn't make fun of a Diabetic, because they can't help having diabetes, just like you shouldn't make fun of people with mental illnesses, because they can't help it either.

Interesting fact: the most prescribed drugs in America are anti-depressants.

Jared (Pike1483) speaks the truth. Why? Because he's one of my best friends, and he's seen me with and without my meds, good and bad, and stayed my friend anyways. Even when I had an episode. I'm glad he's smart enough to know that I'm not "crazy" or "weird". (Love ya, Jared!)

Yeah, I said meds. I am bipolar. I have been for YEARS, but unfortunately, was no diagnosed until I was 19 (I'm 21 now) I do great on my medicine, and you probably wouldn't know that I had the condition unless I told you. However, I'm extremely open about it to try to get people over the ignorant stigma.

Dionysus, did you ever think that most people with mental problems take medicine and/or have counseling, and lead normal lives? And still you wouldn't date them? Would you date a diabetic? Just a thought.

WHoever said you would date someone perfect, anyways? You should love someone just the way they are, illnesses and all.

I find some of the posts here extremely hurtful. I have dealt with this condition for years, and it has hurt aspects of my life. Before I was treated...I was fired from a job because of my episodes; I totalled my car because I was having en episode and couldn't focus; I lost several friends because they didn't know how to deal with me. Once I was diagnosed, and started medicine, I was FINE. And I still am.

I never chose to be this way. And it isn't my fault. I have an imbalance, just as real as a diabetic does. Instead of giving myself shots, I take meds every morning and have periodic counseling to see how I'm doing. I am not ashamed to have this condition, either. I'll talk about it to anyone.

To answer the question, HELL YES I would date someone with a mental problem. You'll never find a perfect person to date. Everyone has faults, or whatnot. Not that being bipolar is a fault. But, I'll love someone just the way they are.

[sairose]

Originally posted by Corsulian
I dated a crazy girl for two years--it was not a good idea. (Clue #1: the multiple scars up and down her wrists) However now many girls now seem pretty sane in comparison.

She wasn't crazy; it's called self-mutilation, and is a very real mental condition. I don't appreciate you calling her crazy for it.

[Lady Pi Phi]

I love the comparisons between diabetics and people with a mental illness.

I have both a mental illness and diabetes.

Is that why I am still single???

(Sorry just thought I'd add a little humour)

[James]

You are single because you are too good looking to go out with, its intimidating

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I love the comparisons between diabetics and people with a mental illness.

I have both a mental illness and diabetes.

Is that why I am still single???

(Sorry just thought I'd add a little humour)

[swissmiss04]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I love the comparisons between diabetics and people with a mental illness.

I have both a mental illness and diabetes.

Is that why I am still single???

(Sorry just thought I'd add a little humour)

No it's because all Singletons have scales underneath their clothes

[AXJules]

Originally posted by sairose


I find some of the posts here extremely hurtful. I have dealt with this condition for years, and it has hurt aspects of my life. Before I was treated...I was fired from a job because of my episodes; I totalled my car because I was having en episode and couldn't focus; I lost several friends because they didn't know how to deal with me. Once I was diagnosed, and started medicine, I was FINE. And I still am.

I never chose to be this way. And it isn't my fault. I have an imbalance, just as real as a diabetic does. Instead of giving myself shots, I take meds every morning and have periodic counseling to see how I'm doing. I am not ashamed to have this condition, either. I'll talk about it to anyone.

I really haven't seen anyone in this thread blame anyone for having depression or any other mental illness. No one is saying it's your fault, and no one thinks you put yourself in that situation.
Using much of the same logic, I don't think you can blame a person for knowing how much of something they can handle. Yes it's not your fault...is it mine? I consider myself a compassionate person, and god knows I'm not perfect. But I just did a relationship for two years where he desperately needed the correct anti-depressants and didn't get them...and I will NEVER go down that road again.
Some of you are so quick to say, "It's not my fault! How dare you be so judgemental!" Ok, then...blame it all on me, I really don't care. I'm too weak a person and do not have the mental strength to deal with someone like that.
(Again, I'm not using a blanket theory and including every person who has any type of mental ailment...more the people who refuse treatment or have a more severe condition.)

[sairose]

Originally posted by AXJules
I really haven't seen anyone in this thread blame anyone for having depression or any other mental illness. No one is saying it's your fault, and no one thinks you put yourself in that situation.
Using much of the same logic, I don't think you can blame a person for knowing how much of something they can handle. Yes it's not your fault...is it mine? I consider myself a compassionate person, and god knows I'm not perfect. But I just did a relationship for two years where he desperately needed the correct anti-depressants and didn't get them...and I will NEVER go down that road again.
Some of you are so quick to say, "It's not my fault! How dare you be so judgemental!" Ok, then...blame it all on me, I really don't care. I'm too weak a person and do not have the mental strength to deal with someone like that.
(Again, I'm not using a blanket theory and including every person who has any type of mental ailment...more the people who refuse treatment or have a more severe condition.)

Notice I did not say anyone SAID it was my fault. I was telling my story, trying to get people to understand.

I think most of us agree that someone who refuses to take their meds is a completely different story, because it's just stupid NOT to take them. And in that situation, there is only so much a person can take. THAT isn't offensive to me at all, because it pisses me off when people won't take their meds. I didn't mean that it's wrong to feel that way when the person won't get treatment.

MY point is people that refuse to date those that ARE on medication and are fine. I think it's inconsiderate. Others may disagree, but if they put themselves in my shoes, they might understand that I'm not any different than the next person. I've had to deal for a long time with people with those false ideas about mental conditions. The stigma doesn't go away. In another thread when I mentioned being bipolar, a certain GCer said, "hey, skip your meds and post on here! Because I've seen bipolar people post during their manic episodes and it's hilarious!" Well, nice that someone thinks a manic episode is hilarious, cause I sure don't.

Am I sensitive about this issue? Extremely so. And threads like this just reinforce the insecurities I have about having this problem.

[sairose]

Originally posted by AXJules
Tourette's? No, and only because Tourette's is usually not controlled very well, even with meds.

Actually, although it's not usually controlled well, people with Tourette's all act different. I have a friend what just married a guy with TOuerette's, and you barely notice his. When he has a tick, he usually just blurts out a random word, or maybe jerks his hand or something. But it's very mild.