Before you get married...

[Eclipse]

Originally posted by DeltAlum
Of all of the above, the one I absolutley agree with is living on your own.


To me, what makes marriages work or not work is a commitment to staying married. Nothing else. Not living together beforhand, not classes, no long talks into the night, not psychologists, not wealth, not romance -- nothing.

I've been married for almost thirty-five years, and at some points it has been really hard for innumerable reasons.

Fortunately, there have been good reasons to stay together as well.

While all of the ideas listed are good, not a single one of them will hold a marriage together without a solid commitment to the institution.

So, my suggestion of what to do before marriage is to mentally check your personal commitment to "Till death do we part."

Nuff Said. So true. I think we have a lot of divorces today because people aren't willing to put in the hard work and some folks are just generally selfish.

[kappaloo]

What's the one thing everyone needs to do before they are married? Learn who they are.

Originally posted by imsohappythatiama
When just living together, you don't have that same committment that you do when you're married...so your coping strategies are *utterly* different.

That is so untrue. Commitment is a frame of mind. It is not where you live or a piece of paper or a ceremony. Marriage doesn't make you commited - being commited makes you commited.

For my thoughts on living together see this:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...286#post543286

[Hootie]

Originally posted by kappaloo
What's the one thing everyone needs to do before they are married? Learn who they are.




That is so untrue. Commitment is a frame of mind. It is not where you live or a piece of paper or a ceremony. [/URL]

Main Entry: com·mit·ment
Pronunciation: k&-'mit-m&nt
Function: noun
Date: 1621
1 a : an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1) : a consignment to a penal or mental institution (2) : an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee b : MITTIMUS
2 a : an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; especially : an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b : something pledged c : the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled <a commitment to a cause>

But it can be a place you live, a piece of paper or a ceremony. These things are affirmations that you are committed to do something. Just as in baptism, it is your parent's pledge (or committment) to bring you up in Christ. Just thought I'd point that out.

But I do agree...committment is committment. For some words and paper don't mean SH*T!

[kappaloo]

Originally posted by Hootie
Main Entry: com·mit·ment
Pronunciation: k&-'mit-m&nt
Function: noun
Date: 1621
1 a : an act of committing to a charge or trust: as (1) : a consignment to a penal or mental institution (2) : an act of referring a matter to a legislative committee b : MITTIMUS
2 a : an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; especially : an engagement to assume a financial obligation at a future date b : something pledged c : the state or an instance of being obligated or emotionally impelled <a commitment to a cause>

Touché! I guess I should have looked that up.

[/B] But I do agree...committment is committment. For some words and paper don't mean SH*T! [/B]

Umm... I think that's more of the point I meant to bring up...

[Eirene_DGP]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
You can always keep your credit histories separate, even after you marry. If I get married, I'm going to keep my credit record separate from Mr. Munch's. Not because our respective records are bad, but just because I want to have my own credit. The fact that I'm keeping my last name should make that easier.

Yeah that is a great idea until you buy something jointly like a house or car....In some states your credit is automatically merged when you marry anyway, so I guess there is no real way to get around it.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by Eirene_DGP
Yeah that is a great idea until you buy something jointly like a house or car....In some states your credit is automatically merged when you marry anyway, so I guess there is no real way to get around it.

Um, no. You're wrong about this one. I worked in credit counseling for a few years, and there IS a way around it. In fact, there are multiple ways around having credit merged at marriage--regardless of what state you live in. But, I understand where you're coming from. I had to do a goodly bit of research before I knew that it was an option.