Abortion... please don't flame! - Page 4

valkyrie · #46 08-22-2003, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Which is why I say that none of us in here who have NOT had an abortion can really say anything to anyone about whether or not to have one... We have not encountered that situation nor do we really know what one goes thru one's mind to consider such an issue...

All we can say it what each of us individually would do if we were to find ourselves in that situation...

And I am still waiting for a woman on GC to proclaim she has had an abortion and to give us her reasons as to why she made that choice. Hey, yes, it is none of my business. And really I do not care. But this issue from all the posts that I can deduce begs the question, should a woman be ashamed of getting pregnant out of the boundaries of a commited relationship--nuclear family and stuff--and then deciding to have an abortion?

That's a very good point. I'm very bothered by people who want to tell other women what they can or can't do, especially when those people have never been in the situation to have to worry about it.

I do think that nobody can say for sure what she would do unless she has experienced it. I just read an article not too long ago (and I wish I could remember where it was) where a woman said that she was "pro-life" but when she became pregnant she almost immediately changed her mind. Funny how that can happen.

I do not think that a woman should be ashamed of having an abortion. Unfortunately, with all of the stigma and controversy surrounding the topic in our society, I'm sure that most women would be afraid to admit it in a public forum. Although I've never had an abortion (thankfully I've never been pregnant) I admit that I would consider it but I take precautions to do the best I can to make sure that I'm never in that situation. It's a very scary possibility for a woman like me who never wants to have children.

Lady Pi Phi · #47 08-22-2003, 11:49 PM

After reading Valkyrie's post. She said that she didn't want children.
While I have said on many occasions that I don't ever want to have children, my mind isn't completely made up. But for those women or men for that matter on GC (who of course would like to share) that have chosen to not have children and are completely sure of this, have you considered more permanent forms of birth control like vasectomies or tubaligation (sp?)?

GeekyPenguin · #48 08-23-2003, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
After reading Valkyrie's post. She said that she didn't want children.
While I have said on many occasions that I don't ever want to have children, my mind isn't completely made up. But for those women or men for that matter on GC (who of course would like to share) that have chosen to not have children and are completely sure of this, have you considered more permanent forms of birth control like vasectomies or tubaligation (sp?)?

I would love to have my tubes tied (I can't think of the right word either) but my doctor says I'm too young for the procedure and that I'll change my mind and want children.

There is no way it would be fair for me to give a child my health history, let alone the fact that I do not like children in the least. I wish society in general was more accepting to the fact that not all women (and men) have an overwhelming desire to procreate>

MTSUGURL · #49 08-23-2003, 01:10 AM

This is going to seem like an extremely personal post, but this is something I have shared with groups of teenagers that had hundreds of people, so I can share it easly without pain.

When I was 22 years old, I was raped by an exboyfriend, and was terrified I was pregnant. I skipped 3 periods , and then started all of a sudden one day. When my best friend asked me if I wanted to have any abortion, I said no. I have always been against abortion because of religious reasons and seeing the effects of abortion on a few of my friends, but it ocurred to me: Was having the abortion going to "unrape" me? Of course not. But, there existed the huge possibility that I would be adding guilt to what I was already feeling.

I am not in favor of abortion at any time. I would never tell another person that they were evil or bad or anything else for having one; I have sat through 2 with girls that I counseled. Yes, I tried to talk them out of it, but when they still went through with it, I was there with them - supporting and loving them, but not their decision.

You wouldn't believe how often I am attacked for my stance, and how many times I've heard the question: "What if you were raped?" Well, I was, and my stance still held.

GeekyPenguin · #50 08-23-2003, 01:14 AM

Crystal, thank you for sharing that - I am sorry to hear about your experience but I think you've grown into a wonderful young woman and I am glad things turned out for you.

aggieAXO · #51 08-23-2003, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet

One thing to consider:

For the ladies:

If none of you have been pregnant, then you really don't know what you will do until you are in that situation...

you are correct about this but who am I to say what someone that is pregnant should do or what they can or cannot do? -it is not my place to say no you have to have this child no matter what.

I am completely pro-choice in any situation. I hate to see all of these neglected children and if an abortion keeps one more neglected child from coming into this world then so be it. The pope doesn't want abortion to be legal or birth control but I don't see him over here or anywhere else adopting children left and right that are homeless or in orphanages. I could go on but I get too fired up on this subject.

aggieAXO · #52 08-23-2003, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
wish society in general was more accepting to the fact that not all women (and men) have an overwhelming desire to procreate>

AMEN to that!

valkyrie · #53 08-23-2003, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
But for those women or men for that matter on GC (who of course would like to share) that have chosen to not have children and are completely sure of this, have you considered more permanent forms of birth control like vasectomies or tubaligation (sp?)?

Yes, I have considered it and am planning to do it. Of course, I'd prefer that my boy have a vasectomy because it's less invasive, but ultimately I respect the fact that he might not be willing to undergo a permanent procedure at his relatively young age.

Unfortunately, it is very difficult for a woman who has not had children to find a doctor willing to perform a tubal ligation -- they seem to often think that we are fragile, emotional creatures who can't think straight and need them to protect us because of course we will eventually change our minds and want children. Because I am older than most of you, this shouldn't be as much of a problem for me, but it's still a problem. The other big problem is money. I'm about to lose my health insurance (because of quitting my job) but if I can do the operation before then and if it's covered, I'm going to do it.

KillarneyRose · #54 08-23-2003, 07:16 AM

I realize that a few women have shared some personal and painful memories with us in this thread. Ladies, you'll never know who you may have helped by doing this. Thank you for being brave enough to put your experiences "out there" for others to read about.

PM_Mama00 · #55 08-23-2003, 10:04 AM

I also want to say thank you to everyone for having such a mature conversation for once.... on BOTH sides! For once I'm actually very proud of GCers.

Lady Pi Phi · #56 08-23-2003, 01:17 PM

I think it's unfortunate that those women who have chosen not to have any children are being turned away by doctors for procedures because the doctor thinks that they know best. It seems to me that if a doctor will perform an abortion but not a tuballigation, that doctor is being a hypocrite. While one way is permenent, the women does not want to be pregnant and that should be her choice, not the doctors.

On a side note, I also read that after having an abortion it becomes increasingly difficult to conceive (naturally). Does anyone know if this is true or not. Also in my biology class I read that your chances of becoming pregnant (naturally) were 23%. Your chances increas with different methods, ie. In Vitro.

aephi alum · #57 08-23-2003, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
On a side note, I also read that after having an abortion it becomes increasingly difficult to conceive (naturally). Does anyone know if this is true or not. Also in my biology class I read that your chances of becoming pregnant (naturally) were 23%. Your chances increas with different methods, ie. In Vitro.

I'm not sure about that, but I do know that if you've ever had an abortion, every subsequent pregnancy is automatically considered high-risk - meaning, among other things, that you should be under the close supervision of a doctor and you are strongly encouraged to give birth in a hospital (rather than at home or in a birth center).

Multiple births are also high-risk as are certain medical conditions.

Munchkin03 · #58 08-23-2003, 01:52 PM

Many doctors are not willing to give unmarried women without children long-term BC methods like the IUD or Norplant, "too risky, in their terms.

I read somewhere where a woman tried to sue her doctor because he gave her a tubal when she was 24 and when she was 35, she got married and wanted kids...the lawsuit didn't stand, but still...with liability insurance becoming so prohibitively expensive that amazing doctors are retiring

, I can't blame them for not wanting to step in the line of fire in that regard. I still think it's a pretty shitty situation. Sometimes, they are unwilling to perform ligations on relatively young women (under 30) who have had children!

Jill1228 · #59 08-23-2003, 02:01 PM

Thank you! What she said!

Quote:

Originally posted by aggieAXO
I am completely pro-choice in any situation. I hate to see all of these neglected children and if an abortion keeps one more neglected child from coming into this world then so be it. The pope doesn't want abortion to be legal or birth control but I don't see him over here or anywhere else adopting children left and right that are homeless or in orphanages. I could go on but I get too fired up on this subject.

adduncan · #60 08-23-2003, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aggieAXO
you are correct about this but who am I to say what someone that is pregnant should do or what they can or cannot do? -it is not my place to say no you have to have this child no matter what.

I am completely pro-choice in any situation. I hate to see all of these neglected children and if an abortion keeps one more neglected child from coming into this world then so be it. The pope doesn't want abortion to be legal or birth control but I don't see him over here or anywhere else adopting children left and right that are homeless or in orphanages. I could go on but I get too fired up on this subject.

I'm not weighing in on this discussion per se, but I'd like to know if it is at ALL possible to NOT attack the pope personally every time a moral issue comes up.

Perhaps aggie AXO isn't aware of Catholic Charities and other church run organizations that DO help w/ adopting children.

This is called Catholic Bashing and it is a form of bigory, just like racism and sexism. If you do it, you are a bigot, case closed.

This is where flame wars begin.

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