Controversy

[sugar and spice]

Thanks for setting the story straight.

[blueGBI]

I'm not sure if this has been posted before but from personal experience, its not always the sororities fault. I know on my campus that if you are Afro-American and you rush a PHC sorority, the majority of Afro-Americans on campus will not talk to you. Many think that since there are the 4 NPHC sororities and one Latina sorority (no disrespect to the NPHC and the MGC, much love for them), there is no need to even think of joining a "white" sorority. Then the same people will complain that the system is discriminatory. Its a double edge sword; blame rests on both sides, but the girl utimately makes the final decision. I know for me, this fall, screw what everybody says, i'm looking for a sisterhood that suits me.

[2blue]

2,525 guesses

[astroAPhi]

Originally posted by blueGBI
I know for me, this fall, screw what everybody says, i'm looking for a sisterhood that suits me.

Good for you! Make sure to keep us updated with how it goes!

[Sistermadly]

Ditto what my sister astroAPhi said - I look forward to your rush thread!

[Firehouse]

I'm glad to see this thread and pleased to see your responses. When I was in college, the fraternity and sorority chapters were completely segregated. Now, that is not the case. In fact, race seems to be a fast-fading issue in rush and the greek system is much better because of it. The established Black sororities, plus a growing number of multicultural sororities are strong and flourishing. The effect is an increase of minority women in the system, and to create more interest by minority women in Panhellenic sororities.
What I do not understand is the wording about no discrimination on the basis of personal appearance, intelligence or "personal beliefs". What worthwhile sorority eager to maintain high standards will not discriminate against someone of low intelligence, or poor personal appearance that is the result of sloth, or "personal beliefs" of the sort that would create distress in the chapter? If you don't choose your members with care, then you offer nothing different from an apartment complex or dorm.

[pinkyphimu]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
The NPC is NOT the only thing that needs to change in this scenario.

sistermadly, you are now my favorite poster on gc!!!!

i think, as with everything...there are always 2 sides. both sides have to meet half way in order for a change to happen. should the npc tie up black women, dress them in lilly's and force them to go through recruitment??? no. sometimes i wonder if the nphc doesn't have the right idea about recruitment (*note: i really don't know that much about the process, but from what i understand, there is a much different focus than npc rush).

Originally posted by Sistermadly
This kind of bonding has to happen organically. And that starts when some "sister" at some university decides to sign up for NPC recruitment. Shake the haters and the detractors -- on both sides. Eff all those people who tell you that you're "selling out" by signing up. Even if at some point you decide that the NPC isn't for you - GO THROUGH IT ANYWAY. Don't stand on the outside, rolling your eyes and saying "they don't want me" - give them the chance to want you. And if the b*tches in that particular chapter decide to act a fool, then don't let that one incident of discrimination define the rest of your life. You are more than that - you are worth more than that - and trust - you will rise above it.

i think that this advice really applies to all women going through recruitment!!! don't spend the rest of your life feeling bad about not being an abc bc they are the ones who clearly are losing out!!!

[Sistermadly]

Thanks for the support, pinkyphimu!

[UA_GammaPhiBeta]

Thanks for setting the story straight.

No problem! That's what I'm here for.

[WhirlwindTNX]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
I had to jump in on this comment (but not on you Whirlwind, cause I think you made some excellent points...)

But *sigh* I'm going to say this and put on my asbestos suit. It has to be said.

The NPC is NOT the only thing that needs to change in this scenario.

What also needs to change is the mindset of young black women. Young black women need to understand that in this day and age that no LEGALLY mandated system of segregation exists. This is 2003, not 1953.

Young black women need to understand that they can find a place for themselves within the legacies of Alpha Phi, AOII, Chi Omega and the rest of the NPC, every bit as much as they can among Zeta Phi Beta, Delta Sigma Theta, Sigma Gamma Rho, or Alpha Kappa Alpha.

They need to see that there are some of us who have found places for ourselves here, and are thriving within this conference.

It's not about being "black" enough. It's not about being "white" enough. It's about being YOU enough, and secure in YOURSELF, your IDENTITY, and your integrity. It's about realizing that as a person who grew up in (North) America, you have more in common with those who look different than you than surface realities might lead you to believe.

People keep saying that the NPC needs to reach out more. And you know - we do. But at some point, that "reaching out" starts to sound like "pander to" or "bend over backwards and make them feel special" - and that makes me uncomfortable. I don't need to have Alpha Phi donate a check to the United Negro College Fund to make me feel more welcome. I don't want my sisters to feel like they have to be on eggshells whenever I'm around just because "I'm different". I've felt like a token more than once or twice in my life, and let me tell you - it's a sh*tty way to feel. Any forced attempts at integration will backfire - because the non-black members of that chapter will come to resent the black member, and the black member will come to resent her sisters for keeping her outside of and apart from the rest of the chapter.

This kind of bonding has to happen organically. And that starts when some "sister" at some university decides to sign up for NPC recruitment. Shake the haters and the detractors -- on both sides. Eff all those people who tell you that you're "selling out" by signing up. Even if at some point you decide that the NPC isn't for you - GO THROUGH IT ANYWAY. Don't stand on the outside, rolling your eyes and saying "they don't want me" - give them the chance to want you. And if the b*tches in that particular chapter decide to act a fool, then don't let that one incident of discrimination define the rest of your life. You are more than that - you are worth more than that - and trust - you will rise above it.

Okay, I'm tired now.

I wish I would have responded to this sooner. . .I completely agree. . .if I wasn't so tired of posting I would have said almost the same things myself.

[justamom]

Sistermadly and firehouse-I like BOTH of your posts!

My mother (75) and I were discussing this last night. I know the change seems slow to most people, but there IS change. Here is some honesty for you-I grew up not liking the segregation I saw in the smallest aspects of daily life, but it became the norm. I never took up a crusade, but griped about it. Then my daughter became friends with the most wonderful young woman who happened to be black, I'll call her Linda.
One day Linda was the subject matter of her fellow black students in Journalism class. They were popping off how Linda was trying to be white. My daughter responded-WHY, because she doesn't have 6 inch long nails-use the "f" word or like rap music? Of course she didn't stop there. The point is Linda was being criticized because she was friends with white girls, had her own sense of style AND because she would not be intimidated by either "side". She sought her own success based on WHO SHE WAS. At the end of HS, one of those "bitter sweet" moments came. Linda gave my daughter a card that said how much thier friendship had meant...it had two little puppies on it, a black one and a blond one. She also said their paths would lead them different directions.
Now, BOTH are at LSU. They BOTH pick and choose when and where they meet for lunch or visits. There are places NEITHER would go with the other. I know if Linda were to rush, my daughter and probably many in the group would LOVE her. Could she get in? Who knows. She is such a powerful, intelligent WONDERFUL example of not only a black woman, but of WOMANHOOD. I think the day will come when percentage wise, integration in GLOs will be the norm. I also think there will remain "nuts" you just can't crack.

[Dove Gal]

I just had a thought, and please do not take this the wrong way.

I am an African American young women in a NPC sorority. Let's just say that I did transfer to Auburn and I wanted to be active with my sorority there. Do you think that my house might get looked upon differently by the other sororitites because I am African American? Do you think that there my be more African Americans going through rush at Auburn, because there is an African American in a sorority there? Would it help or hurt my chapter during the rush process? I just want to see your thoughts on this.

I know that I may be stretching the truth, but IT could happen.

This senerio applies to the southern schools in question, not just Auburn.

[astroAPhi]

Originally posted by Dove Gal
I just had a thought, and please do not take this the wrong way.

I am an African American young women in a NPC sorority. Let's just say that I did transfer to Auburn and I wanted to be active with my sorority there. Do you think that my house might get looked upon differently by the other sororitites because I am African American? Do you think that there my be more African Americans going through rush at Auburn, because there is an African American in a sorority there? Would it help or hurt my chapter during the rush process? I just want to see your thoughts on this.

I know that I may be stretching the truth, but IT could happen.

This senerio applies to the southern schools in question, not just Auburn.

It kills me that you even have to worry about it, but I understand why you do. I would HOPE that it would not matter, but because I do not attend Auburn or any of the larger Southern schools (and remember, some people think that Florida is not part of the south! ), I honestly couldn't tell you.

[Nhfulmer]

I've just begun reading this thread and must comment on a couple of things. In the article from Time, it said that Bama had adjusted the dates of rush. Rush at Bama had historically been before classes began. Just a few years ago they began rushing later in the semester. This year they have gone back to rushing before classes because so many parents and students complained that the rush schedule and preparations left little time for study and grades were suffering. It had nothing to do with the subject of the article.

Now, don't blame all of the NPC groups for not having black members. The member of the administration who is responsible for Greek Affairs at Bama explained that to my husband recently. He said that there is even a name for the reason - "crabbing". Have you ever seen a bucket or net of live crabs? When one of them attempts to escape, it is pulled back into the mass by the rest. He says that if a black girl/guy attempst to rush a predominantly white group, it is well known that if she/he doesn't get a bid, she/he will NEVER get a bid from a predominantly black group. Quite a bit of pressure for an 18 year old, wouldn't you say? I don't know for sure, but I would venture to say that there are no white members of the predominantly black groups at Bama. I may be wrong and if I am, please correct me.

My own sorority, Zeta Tau Alpha, has black members (as well as many other races) all over the country - but no blacks at Bama. I still stick to my belief that each chapter has the right to choose its members. Who on earth would want to belong to a group where they were not wanted? And what group would want to pledge a person who was not a "fit" with their chapter. We do not discriminate based on race but sometimes that enters into the reason that a girl would not fit into a chapter. It is naive to think otherwise.

By the way, I am a proud alumna of Nu Chapter of Zeta Tau Alpha at the University of Alabama.

[zchi2]

Originally posted by Sistermadly


The NPC is NOT the only thing that needs to change in this scenario.

What also needs to change is the mindset of young black women. Young black women need to understand that in this day and age that no LEGALLY mandated system of segregation exists. This is 2003, not 1953.

Young black women need to understand that they can find a place for themselves within the legacies of Alpha Phi, AOII, Chi Omega and the rest of the NPC, every bit as much as they can among Zeta Phi Beta, Delta Sigma Theta, Sigma Gamma Rho, or Alpha Kappa Alpha.

They need to see that there are some of us who have found places for ourselves here, and are thriving within this conference.

It's not about being "black" enough. It's not about being "white" enough. It's about being YOU enough, and secure in YOURSELF, your IDENTITY, and your integrity. It's about realizing that as a person who grew up in (North) America, you have more in common with those who look different than you than surface realities might lead you to believe.

I agree and I disagree with you. I definitely think that the mind sets of some black women need to change but also some white women. When a person was raised in an environment where they were raised with a majority of a certain race, why would I come to college and flip the script? What I mean is... Take me for example. I was raised with ALL black people. My church was all black, my neighborhood was all black, my dentist was black, my doctor was black, and my school had over 650 in the graduating class and I could count on one hand how many non-black people graduated with me. After coming from a background like that, what would make we want to seek out a system that was 95% a different race than me?

People are going to join a group that they feel comfortable in. Most black people that are used to being around all white wouldn't think twice about joining a black sorority and a white person who is used to being around all black people would probably never join a "white" sorority. I don't think the answer to segregation within the greek system is outreach, but I think that people need to be conscious that when someone comes to rush who is "different" that them make sure that they treat them the same as everyone else. This means black, white, handicapped, etc...