AIs: "First meeting, now what?"

I have lived extensively because I haven't had the easiest of a life but that's a whole different story that's just not worth getting into. I have had a lot on my plate for a long, long time and hate it when people tell me that I haven't lived yet and don't know what lies ahead of me.

The best thing is that I have survived and am proud to say I am a survivor.

I relish in the fact that I will be the sole person taking on the responsibility of "the real world." As I see it and after all I have been through, I see the things I will be facing as a breeze. I have enough money saved in the bank to pay a hefty down payment on a house and I am only 22. Yes, I will have to make more payments but not many (thank you Lord!) My parents are buying me a new car because the one I have now is really bad. I will have the insurance and taxes to pay on it because my parents are paying it all off as a reward for being the very first person in my family to graduate from college. I probably won't have to have a house payment because the CIA will pay for my living quarters and bills associated with it so that money I have in the bank will just be sitting earning a good bit of interest.

[kateshort]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by scpiano211

#1: I am not going to have a family simply because the job I will get will not be suitable for a family. I am joining the CIA after I graduate from graduate school.

#4: No, shockingly, I will not be joining an alumnae group BECAUSE OF MY JOB for heaven's sake.

Um, as someone who grew up in the DC area and has relatives in many of the agencies down there, I can tell you that being in the CIA doesn't mean that you don't get a life.

I mean, most people who participate in alumnae groups do so once or twice a month from September through May. It isn't a once-a-month thing. I believe that since you're in college, you *don't* *know* what the real world is like.

I mean, duh, we've all been there. Even if we weren't in sororities in school, most of us were in some collegiate organizations and balancing work, school, and activities.

I was in a local, and they went national, so I was able to affiliate with ADPi. I haven't been active in any of the three local alum groups for the past two years because I've been working and going to grad school. And, this year, singing in my church choir. I don't have kids yet, because I'm busy enough as it is!

#5: Most people don't have as many things going on in their lives as much as a college student does. They have a family and maybe a job. WOO HOO! Wish I only had 2 things that stressed me out on a daily basis. The other things that stress people out are self-imposed.

I hate to tell you this, but if you have any sort of a life, you will have a lot going on! You won't have the stress of grades, but you will have the stress of having to stay late at jobs during big projects, or the stress of friends having an argument, or the stress of leading some organization or another, whether it's a church group or book club or whatever. Or the stress of losing a job, or not making enough to cover your rent or mortgage payment.

Heck, some people join AI because they *like* being busy! They like both being able to help the community, get to know a group of like-minded people, and help out collegians in the process.

#6: I have to have a job (to pay for school stuff), I have to go to school because it surprisingly enough isn't the 1950s anymore where the woman is severely opressed by her man, and yes, I chose the sorority stuff because I wanted to have a life outside the work and school realms.

Which is the same reason that some people go AI-- they want to have that same life outside of work and family.

Also, if you want to discuss this further, you can PM me but this is getting ridiculous because all I did was state my opinion and everyone got their panties in a wad.

All you did was insult a bunch of people. There are ways to state your opinion *nicely*. Instead of being reasoned and polite, you basically accused people of taking the easy way out for joining a sorority. Saying that other people are getting their panties in a wad is not very nice. You might want to check your own underwear, methinks?

No, my panties are just find. In fact my panties don't even ride up my butt. Maybe you bunch of people are way too sensitive. Plus, I don't beat around the bush nor should I. This is the end of this discussion. If you want to continue this discussion, do NOT include me in it.

DO NOT say anything that might be arugmentative because I am one of those people that has to respond to something like that and like I said I don't want to be involved anymore because this is taking up way too much of my time. Time in which I don't have.

[pialpha92]

Just so all you AI's know - When I was in college I worked full time, went to school full time, was chapter president, etc. - and I think AI is just fine!!! My chapter has initiated 2 (I even initiated one myself ) and to me it is just another opportunity to welcome some more wonderful sisters to the family.

Not everyone has to agree with that of course but I thought I'd throw out my support to all the AI's and PNAM's out there...

now let's all get back to the original topic ....

I'd drop them a note at the beginning of the summer and maybe another one right before recruitment wishing good luck or even offering to help if it feels appropriate.

[adduncan]

Originally posted by pialpha92
now let's all get back to the original topic ....

I'd drop them a note at the beginning of the summer and maybe another one right before recruitment wishing good luck or even offering to help if it feels appropriate.

Thanx, pialpha both for the support, and for the advice.

It's coming down to how you communicate--and figuring out what is appropriate and what isn't.

I hope to have more progress reports some time soon. I might just have to wait it out through the summer. But hey, I've waited about 15 years, a few more months won't kill me, right?

Adrienne (PNAM-2003)

[CutiePie2000]

Yes, Adrienne, it might seem like there is not much activity going on in the summertime as people go away in the summer months and what not. However, I think a little friendly "reminder" as to who you are in the form of a beautifully written card or note is always appreciated and welcomed.

[bruinaphi]

Originally posted by scpiano211
If you want to continue this discussion, do NOT include me in it.
DO NOT say anything that might be arugmentative because I am one of those people that has to respond to something like that and like I said I don't want to be involved anymore because this is taking up way too much of my time. Time in which I don't have.

I assume that you are another personality of a current GC troublemaker, but I will respond anyway since I obviously missed the memo on your appointment as law maker for the Alumni Forum. I assume that because you are new you don't know any better than to come in and criticize other people's membership paths and other organizations' standards for membership. Your posts and approach are not appreciated.

I am not an AI. I pledged before starting college, was very active as a collegiate and am now very active as an alumna. I believe that we need to recruit members who understand that membership is a lifelong commitment -- something you obviously missed out on in your new member ed session.

I have to admit that as a collegiate I didn't understand why anyone would want to partake in AI. As an alumna whose best friends are now members of the same GLO who are all from different chapters or AIs, I don't understand how anyone can berate AI. My best friend in the world is an AI. She lives approximately 3000 miles away from me about 3 days straight driving according to mapquest). She was a member of a colony that didn't get installed before she graduated. She is also now a member of our International Executive Board and numerous committees in our Fraternity. She is the most dedicated Alpha Phi I know.

As for the issue of stress you are in for a rude awakening when you graduate. Right now your stress centers on you. YOUR grades, buying books, paying your rent or dues. What are you going to do when other people rely on you to keep them alive? After all, if you are going to work for the Agency, your every decision could put others in jeopardy. Personally, I think that's a little more stressful than attending college. Maybe I'm delusional.

Regarding bonding, we all hope to live a long time after we graduate from college. My chapter sisters are wonderful people with whom I have a lot of history, but I have many more sisters who have been there for me through much more tragic and trying times in my life. We have vacationed together, worked together, visited one another and cumulatively, probably spent more time together or on the phone than I spent with my chapter sisters when I lived in the chapter house.

Laura

[KillarneyRose]

I am sure they have more time than I do. My mother did.
Then your mother obviously sat on her a** all day eating Doritos.

#1: I am not going to have a family simply because the job I will get will not be suitable for a family. I am joining the CIA after I graduate from graduate school.
That's well and good, but I know from personal experience that candidates for Central Intelligence Agency training must complete an extensive battery of psychological testing in order to be considered. Perhaps you should work on dislodging that chip on your shoulder before you apply?

#2: As for the mortgage, most people that have one have jobs that pay much more than mine does and they work the same amount of hours as I do but don't have to go to school.
If you can't afford a mortgage, you shouldn't take one on. It's called being "house poor".

#3: As much as school was very much of a choice for me as it was a necessity, it is a CHOICE to have a family. People do NOT have to get married and/or have kids.
Many people feel as strongly about marriage and a family as you do about school.

#4: No, shockingly, I will not be joining an alumnae group BECAUSE OF MY JOB for heaven's sake.
One does not preclude the other. It sounds like you are insinuating that women who doin alumnae chapters don't work outside the home. That's terribly insulting as well as untrue. The reason I no longer work is not because I can't find the time to hold down a job because of my sorority commitments. It is because my husband makes a lot of money and I can afford the things I need and want without working. Sorry if that sounds bitchy, but you pulled the bitch card way before I did.

#5: Most people don't have as many things going on in their lives as much as a college student does. They have a family and maybe a job. WOO HOO! Wish I only had 2 things that stressed me out on a daily basis. The other things that stress people out are self-imposed.
Sweetie, take a reality pill PLEASE! In a few years when you are out there in ADULTLAND, you're going to look back at the statement you made and you're going to be embarassed at what an all-knowing, self-important little twit it makes you sound like! If you are this stressed out handling class, work, volunteer work and your sorority, maybe you belong behind the counter at Burger King 40 hours a week; not in college.

#6: I have to have a job (to pay for school stuff), I have to go to school because it surprisingly enough isn't the 1950s anymore where the woman is severely opressed by her man, and yes, I chose the sorority stuff because I wanted to have a life outside the work and school realms.
Then quit yipping about everything you "have" to do!

#7: My parents pay for tuition so loans from my college will not be seeking payments for that. I have to pay for everything else (i.e. car insurance and gas, textbooks, sorority bills, apartment, etc.).
You know hunny, a lot of people would say that you're a pampered little lamb because mummy and daddy pay your tuition. Ooooooh, you pay for your car insurance! Ooooh, you pay for gas, Oooooh, you pay for textbooks, blah, blah, blah!!! You think those things make you independant???? Pleeeze! Sure, it's nice that you chip in, but you're not paying the brunt of it. You're still dependant on your parents.

Also, if you want to discuss this further, you can PM me but this is getting ridiculous because all I did was state my opinion and everyone got their panties in a wad.
If anything, I'm embarassed for you. You can't express yourself in any meaningful, eloquent way, you come off as a whiny, sniveling little snot, and it is very clear that you have little or no idea what you're talking about.

Just to note, you're not the only person who handled class, job, sorority and volunteerism. I did that, in addition to holding an editorial staff position on my college newspaper. And I paid the tuition my scholarship didn't cover. And I did a public relations internship. And I graduated early. And I snagged a plum job that was creatively and financially rewarding (though demanding; 60+ hours a week). And I still remained active in an alumnae chapter because being a Delta Zeta does not end when college does. And I paid back my student loans all by myself. And I'm sure I'm not the only woman who has ever done that. So do get over yourself.

But, I'm sure you're, um, a nice person. Afterall, you DID manage to get in a sorority the second time around! Oh, and please don't post explaining how you didn't get a bid the first time because you missed Prefs due to the fact that there was an international crisis and you had to brief the President on the state state of US/Saudi relations or something equally ridiculous and self-serving. 'Cause no one could possibly be as important as you seem to think YOU are

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by scpiano211
thank you. I just didn't want to drag MY specific letters in it. Even if I weren't in my particular sorority I would probably see it the same way because I know lots of people not join because they didn't join in college. I didn't even really know it existed until we initiated a lady as an alumnae and I didn't agree with initiating those out of school. To me, people can see it as an "easy in" if they don't join while in college and they'll in turn pay much cheaper dues. Also, I just don't see it as fair to people like myself that had to go through Recruitment 2 times to get into a sorority. I mean I have to work a job, maintain 15 to 17 hours worth of school, volunteer, and do things with my sorority. Whereas someone that's an alumnae, they will just deal with a possible career and a possible family.

First of all, if you think that getting initiated as an alumna is easier than going through rush, that shows how little you know about the process. Go through and read some of the threads about women who have initiated as alumnae. During my collegiate rush experience, all I had to do was go to some parties, make small talk and then I got a bid. These potential alumnae initiates must go through a process which is far more involved, far longer, and most of the time more difficult than collegiate rush. It is not "the easy way out." Were you subjected to a full background check before recruitment? Probably not. Did you have to spend months waiting to see if a group was going to invite you back? No. Were you only supposed to approach one group (or at the most, maybe two) at a time? No.

Not to mention that a family is a full-time job, 24 hours seven days a week, especially if you have young kids. And those who also have a job outside of the home will be working 40-60 hours a week. Personally, I think that's a little more stressful than college, and this is coming from someone who goes to school just as much as you do, balances homework, volunteer work, a boyfriend, and sorority, and has worked a job while at school in the past (although I don't currently). I think you are going to be disappointed if you expect "the real world" to be less stressful than college.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by scpiano211
No, my panties are just find. In fact my panties don't even ride up my butt. Maybe you bunch of people are way too sensitive. Plus, I don't beat around the bush nor should I. This is the end of this discussion. If you want to continue this discussion, do NOT include me in it.

As my mom says, "Let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya!"

DO NOT say anything that might be arugmentative because I am one of those people that has to respond to something like that and like I said I don't want to be involved anymore because this is taking up way too much of my time. Time in which I don't have.

*counts the number of times she's responded in this thread*

Yep.. sure does look like someone who is pressed for time.

[Sistermadly]

Originally posted by adduncan

It's coming down to how you communicate--and figuring out what is appropriate and what isn't.

Excellent advice.. one wonders if "Spy Barbie" had enough time to read it.

[Sistermadly]

Killarney, I could hug you after that post.

[KillarneyRose]

SPY BARBIE!!!!! Sistermadly, you crack me up!!

SPY HARPIE is more like it, though.

You know, after my 7 year-old daughter saw "Spy Kids", she wanted to be a spy too. Now she wants to be a ballerina. Kids are so fickle!

DO NOT say anything that might be arugmentative because I am one of those people that has to respond to something like that
Boys and girls, can you say "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder"? Or how about "Don't say anything to disturb the crazy lady"

Well, this was all fun but I want to go watch "Will and Grace" now. Ciao!

[precious25]

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
[But, I'm sure you're, um, a nice person. Afterall, you DID manage to get in a sorority the second time around! Oh, and please don't post explaining how you didn't get a bid the first time because you missed Prefs due to the fact that there was an international crisis and you had to brief the President on the state state of US/Saudi relations or something equally ridiculous and self-serving. 'Cause no one could possibly be as important as you seem to think YOU are [/B]

LOL best post ever

[Beryana]

Originally posted by scpiano211
And no I am not talking about anything in hypothetical terms. I really do have to work, maintain 15-17 hours, volunteer, and do things with my sorority. I do not think it's fair for us collegiates to pay such high dues and AIs can go in and not pay such high dues. I mean once I graduate I will have invested over $2000 in this thing and it's just not fair.

I know that I'm a little behind so I apologize for bringing up something that might be 'dead' two pages from when initially posted.

I am a proud AI of AOII. I was in a local as a collegiate, moved to Michigan and wanted to get back involved in Greek Life. AOII and I found each other, the rest is ongoing history. I just wanted to add my two cents worth that even though I am an alumna initiate, I still gave a LOT to my chapter of initiation. When I was chapter adviser (1.5 hours from where I was living), I was a full-time+ graduate student (15 hours graduate level classes), a full-time job, a full-time graduate assistantship (20 hours per week), AND weekend volunteering at museums and various living history events. If that is not making time for AOII because I wanted to - despite not having the time, I don't know what is. I am a dues paying alumna and if I had been given the opportunity to be a part of AOII or another NPC sorority while an undergraduate I would have done that - and still have given the time that I have.

Sarah
AI - 2000

P.S. I also wanted to add some comments to those that I found amusing. I paid my own way through undergrad (private college) as well as grad school (along with buying my own car, insurance, books, entertainment funds, study abroad, apartment/dorm, etc). I have a mortgage (because it is cheaper than an apartment - seriously!) and I earn enough to pay bills and put a very little aside for asthetic work on my house (talk about stress some times!). Basically I have been on my own financially for the past 11 years since graduating high school so be VERY thankful that your parents are providing what they are to you because it is RARE!