rush at UCSB

[violets]

Leilanimoon,
I'm terribly sorry to hear of your disappointments. It sounds as if you're going through quite a lot. I'm glad you have such encouraging friends to help you continue with this process.
It's a very, very common occurrence to be released from chapters whom you respect and enjoy, (many, many pnms on GC have faced exactly the same situation) but as UF56 very wisely stated, "things happen for a reason." Unfortunately the reason can take time to reveal itself, and in the midst of our disappointment we can feel lost, but rest assured it is always there and you will, with time, be granted clarity about this situation.

My only suggestion is that you reflect back on the chapters that have invited you to their next event and think how you might see yourself contributing to their sisterhood. Much of the collegiate experience of sisterhood is about working with others to ensure the health of the organization. It's truly one of the joys of the Greek collegiate experience, and one that we, as members, sometimes forget to emphasize, as the work we do for our chapters eventually becomes second nature. But I would ask you, can you picture yourself participating in your prospective houses' philanthropic work, planning a sisterhood retreat, working on their house board, arranging a social event, etc? Do the sisterhoods have events and projects that you would enjoy participating in? Or, do you see yourself being able to begin new traditions and develop events and projects that you see they need? How can you use the skills you may have developed in other areas of your life to help develop the organizations that are considering you for membership?
I make this suggestion because I truly feel that when it comes to Greek Life, as in life in general, you get out of it what you are willing to put in. One of the most significant aspects of my collegiate experience was the WORK I did as a sister. Everything from raking the lawn at the Ronald McDonald House, to making scholarship application packets, to writing the Greek Week skit, to revamping our formal recruitment, made me value my wonderful chapter and sisters all the more and cherish the opportunities afforded me by my sorority. The icing on the cake was the fact that I learned so much from all the work that I did do within chapter, and I developed inter-personal and business skills that I use to this day.
I hope you will take this suggestion to heart and consider where you would like to contribute all your obvious good qualities.
I wish you all the best; I know that this will work out. Re-read some of the rush threads on this board, as I stated above it’s been an extremely common occurrence for those pnms posting on GC to be released from rush “favorites” however, if they entered the next rounds with open minds and hearts they were invariably carried gracefully into the arms of sisterhoods that welcomed them with love, sisterhoods they would never trade for their initial recruitment “crushes.” I wish the same happy ending for you.

Best Panhellenic wishes,
violets

[aephi alum]

I am so sorry you got cut by your top 2. Hoping you'll find your home with AXO or ADPi, or failing that, through COB.

I should clarify my earlier post about being saddened that you don't like AEPhi. AEPhi is not for everyone - the same could be said of just about any sorority. You gave them a fair shake, and decided AEPhi wasn't for you, and I respect that.

Good luck with your pref invites, and please keep us posted.

[MTSUGURL]

waiting to see what happens....

[APhiRattlerGal]

I back what Violets said about recruitment crushes. When I went through my formal recruitment I was convinced I wanted XYZ sorority. When i didnt get an invite back after the 3rd night I was so upset. I went through with the rest and gave the other chapters a chance. In that I found that A Phi was the best for me. And i look back on it now and I cant picture myself in that XYZ sorority now. AS someone else said earlier, things happen for a reason...and usually its for the best and its what was meant to be. you will see it after this is all over. Good luck with the rest of recruitment. Please keep smiling!!

Ili

[leilanimoon]

I spend my time yesterday afternoon calming my nerves, picking the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, jewelry, makeup....determined to go into it with the best mindset and what happens but I am DROPPED from ADPi and AXO. Tri-Delt and AEPHI, the two on campus who invite EVERYONE back, invite me back. I was extremely upset and felt that this was so ridiculous. I never went to any of their events after I knew they weren't the place for me and they still want me? Geez, I thought they would have more respect for their chapter than to invite people who were so obviously disintersted. I know this might sound like blasphemy to some of you, and I really want to apologize if it comes ouit sounding like that but what they're doing, to me, is analogous to an ex-boyfriend that just won't go away, no matter what. *Sigh*...

So I just return to my friends' place, change my clothes, and sulk for a bit. Then they do their best to try and cheer me up. They tell me to try and do open bidding to the houses I really love later because they're sure that most houses will not make quota.

They try and get me to take my mind off of things and to go party and for awhile I put things aside and really get into the mindset of,"Hey, if they don't want me, screw them", but as the night wears on I just become more and more weary. So I end up backing out of going out and partying and go confide in one of my other friends about my disappointment. I decide to just get some rest, I'm just so tired, exhausted, and ready to throw in the towel when I receive a call at 11:30 at night. It's Stephan, the Panhellenic advisor, and he tells me,"I just wanted to let you know that because you withdrew from rush, you are not eligible for a snap bid, but you CAN do open house"

Now, let me rewind this a little bit. At the end of the night, all the girls were supposed to return to IV Theatre and mark our number 1 and number 2, or else choose neither and withdraw. My Rho Chi had told me that if I withdrew, the sororities would all get a list of who withdrew adn at that time, they could offer a snap bid, so that is what I did, with that very thought in mind. So his calling me to tell me that exact opposite really shocked the **** out of me. I had been settling down to sleep and I hear THIS?!!? Outside of my friends window I hear my other friends out on the street below and run to them and by the time I relay this info to them, I am once again a bundle of nerves. My friend walks me to her house and I just totally break down. I had finally begun to get over the rejection and disappointment, and then the call happens to ruin my night. AAAGGHH...They tell me I should tell my rho chi what the panhellenic advisor said this morning, but when I tell her, she just kind of sideswipes the issue.

In a way, I still want to do open bidding, but in a way, I think I ahould have more pride and still say screw them. If they couldnt see me as their sister then, why would they now?!?! It's just so hard to know that you went to these houses, had awesome conversations, was invited back one more round, and then you're cut and you know that the other girls who kept getting invited back had the same great conversations as you did, and were greeted with open arms every round. Is it really just luck of the draw that one day you'll end up with great rushers and the next you meet up with someone who doesnt know how to keep the convo going, and they decide it mustve been you, and that you just weren;t right simply because they didn't know what to say? And it wasn;t like I just sat there waiting for their questions, I asked just as many when given the opportunity...uugghh..I dunno..right now I'm just feeling very down in the dumps..this has been something I've wanted for so long and to have it slip through my fingers is just so heartwrenching...i dunno.

[leilanimoon]

Now that my thought processes have become a lot more clear. I've been able to sift through things logically and now I'm kind of chalking up my experience to my juinor status in school. Since \i can't find anything that went wrong at the actual parties where I was cut, I'm kind of thinking that maybe that is what was working against me. <Maybe this is wishful thinking, or maybe I'm right on the mark, but I've decided that if the house I REALLY want does COB, I will try and do that. I have never wanted to go greek just to wear letters, I had definite favorites for a variety of reasons, not necessarily because they were the top dogs, because if I felt uncomfortable there, I don't care how creme of they crop they appear. I also am not blinded by things like that because I know that internally a lot of politics can occur. I've seen it happen with my friends.

Most people at this school don't always see the value of joining a sorority because in SB, it is totally true that you can have a VERY active social life without it, and the alcohol flows at non-fraternity parties MUCH more than at fraternities, since theyve made us a relatively dry campus. I've never been into it for that reason, I truly feel like I would have pride wearing the letters of a select few houses, and I would feel like I sold myself short by accepting anything else. I could easily have gone with one of the houses that prefed me, but I'd feel like I just did it just to be able to say I'm greek, which is juts not me at all. I;m just gonna follow my own philosophy that if I really want something, to go after it, but also to know when to say "when". The COB will be my last effort as an undergraduate, because I don't want to chase after any pipe dreams or become an annoying pest to a house I truly respect. Maybe they really DON'T think I'd fit, or maybe they'll remember that they liked me and the luck of the draw is what was against me. Thank you to all of you who have given me your whole-hearted support, if the house I want does do COB, I will keep you all updated on if it works out or not. Thank you all soo very much!!!

[Angels&Arrows]

leilanimoon,

I do not say this often... However, your posts and attitude have won my respect!!! (Not that is counts for much). Your posts have been honest, open, upfront, mature, to the point, etc. I am very impressed with your maturity and decisiveness. I truly hope the house you want does COB and if there is anything I could ever do to help, please PM me. I would do it in a heart beat.

Best Wishes,
A&As

[mmcat]

you are probably right that your junior status ultimately did you in.
my thought is definitely consider informal. also, contact with panhellenic about the apparent discrepency so perhaps you can get back in the snap bid race, or if not, at least no one else will get incorrect advice in the future.
it sounds like you have already got a solid circle of friends. it sounds like your classes are fine. now just relax and enjoy life. if things click, terrific. if not, you keep your head up and think about doing other stuff.
lol
feel better

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by leilanimoon
I decide to just get some rest, I'm just so tired, exhausted, and ready to throw in the towel when I receive a call at 11:30 at night. It's Stephan, the Panhellenic advisor, and he tells me,"I just wanted to let you know that because you withdrew from rush, you are not eligible for a snap bid, but you CAN do open house"

Uh....Ladies, I don't think this guy is right.
If you withdraw (and don't sign a Bid Card) then aren't you still open for COB? That is how I understand it.

I don't think this guy knows what he is talking about.
Just my thoughts..... We need some Panhel experts on this thread pronto to verify.....

[IowaHawkeye]

Originally posted by CutiePie2000


Uh....Ladies, I don't think this guy is right.
If you withdraw (and don't sign a Bid Card) then aren't you still open for COB? That is how I understand it.

I don't think this guy knows what he is talking about.
Just my thoughts..... We need some Panhel experts on this thread pronto to verify.....

Eh, from what I remember, which could be way off, it is late, is that a snap bid and cob are different. snap bids are eligible for girls who have rushed through pref. if a house goes through its bid lists and still has not made quota it can (snap) bid a girl who has gone through pref but maybe was cross-cut/suicided/or possibly dropped them prior to pref.
The advisor guy said she was eligible for open house - which i think means COB.

maybe Barb could clear this up

[ZTAngel]

I believe that if you withdraw from rush you can still do COB. Snap bids are only for those women who went to pref parties but did not receive a bid from any house.

[gphiangel624]

ZTAAngel is right- you can only do COB if you drop out of rush prior to signing the preference card. If you sign it, you can't rush for a year because any bid that's given is open for a year. If you sign the preference card and don't get a bid, then you're eligible for snap bidding from a chapter that didn't make quota.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally posted by IowaHawkeye


Eh, from what I remember, which could be way off, it is late, is that a snap bid and cob are different. snap bids are eligible for girls who have rushed through pref. if a house goes through its bid lists and still has not made quota it can (snap) bid a girl who has gone through pref but maybe was cross-cut/suicided/or possibly dropped them prior to pref.
The advisor guy said she was eligible for open house - which i think means COB.

maybe Barb could clear this up

Basically, each chapter is supposed to turn in a snap list in addition to their first and second bid lists. Theses lists include any girl who did not attend their pref, but to whom they are willing to offer a bid. They are listed in priority of how much the chapter wants her.

For some chapters, this may mean anyone who has attended a certain number of invitationals, legacies, friends from high school, etc. Any PNM can be on the list at the chapter's discretion, as long as they were registered for formal rush at one point.

After computer matching, AND quota additions, the snap list for any chapter that is below quota is cross-referenced with the girls who are not matched.

The Rho Chi should then call Suzie PNM and tell her that she did not match with any of the chapters on her pref card, but Alphas are willing to offer her a bid.

It is possible to be offered more than one snap bid, so the Rho Chi would tell Suzie PNM that Alphas and Betas offered her bids, and Suzie would choose. She would then be added to their list, and pick up her bid with everyone else in her pledge class.

Unlike quota additions, ANYONE who is registered for rush can be offered a snap bid, regardless of the number of parties or rounds they attended, or if they have formally withdrawn.

[leilanimoon]

Delta Beta Baby, that's exactly what I'm so confused about! I formally withdrew, because I wasn't feeling it at the two houses who preffed me. And yet he calls me and tells me I'm not eligible for a snap bid. I thought by withdrawing, the other houses would see my name on the list and they could go back and see if they had been interested in offering me a bid. That's why I kept asking my friends, is he going to put my card in some "off-limits" category, so that no one can snap bid me? I dunno..I'm just really confused by the whole process, so I'm just going to wait around until some houses start doing open house (yes, this is the same as COB, in a sense. They advertise in our student newspaper that their chapter will be holding an open house and they can continue from that night to either invite you to another night of open house and then eventually offer you a bid, or else sometimes, if you stuck out enough during formal, they will just show up at your door or your class and offer you a bid)

[GPhiBLtColonel]

...for sounding confused but I am old! What were the two houses where you attended pref parties, leilanimoon?