Adopted??

[SSS1365]

I'm "half" adopted. Meaning I don't know my biological father, but I always lived with my mom. She got re-married when I was 3, and when I was 6 my dad (meaning the man who raised me) adopted me. I found out about a year and a half ago that I have 6 half-sisters out there

Originally posted by mu_agd
this may be a stupid question, but when a newborn is adopted is a new birth certificate issued with the adoptive parents names on it?

I don't know about that specifically, but I think so. A new one was issued for me when I was adopted, even though my mother remained the same.

[AlethiaSi]

Originally posted by AggieSigmaNu361
Wow,

Carnation, I just want to tell you what an immense amount of respect i have for you. Adopting children and giving them a better life is probably the greatest gift you could ever give. We definately need more people like you and your husband in this country.

Only a narrow-minded idiot couldn't see that it takes a big heart to raise children right, and an even bigger one to welcome children into your family who aren't biologically yours.

I cherish every time my Kindergarterners come to PE. I was always the guy that was like, ugh, kids, but i've definately changed. The little ones just melt your heart, especially up here, where a lot of them don't enjoy the same luxeries that i had growing up. Just having them say, "hi coach K" and wave to me when i pass them in the hallways, or have them all get excited when they come into the gym is enough to make me look forward to the day when i've got my only little tykes.

I've been thinkin about adoption lately, mostly cuz i look at the kids in my school and think that some of them deserve better life situations. Hopefully someday when i've got my little brood, i'll be able to adopt a child from up here and give them some of the advantages i had growing up.

Seriously, if you don't get a warm-fuzzy feeling being around little kids you're probably working with a smaller heart than the grinch. Again, carnation, you are an awesome woman and i'm sure a great mother

Kitso
KS 361

I completely agree with this kitso- I have such a profound respect for you carnation its unbelievable! I never really liked kids until my dad got remarried and had two girls- (they are now 4 and 5) I ADORE them and can't wait to have kids of my own- but i'm most definately adopting kids no doubt about that Thank you for your story carnation- some people think I'm weird for wanting to adopt- and knowing so young that I want to eventually (i'm almost 21) but I know in my heart that its what I'm meant to do

~maggie

[lifesaver]

My roomate / fraternity brother is adopted. He knwos nothing of his birth mom - except that she was well off, white, live in Southen california and wasnt expecting him.

[Jill1228]

Not a stupid question but the birth cert has the adoptive parents name on it. My husband's has his adoptive parents

Originally posted by mu_agd
this may be a stupid question, but when a newborn is adopted is a new birth certificate issued with the adoptive parents names on it?

[33girl]

My cousin is adopted. His parents said they would help him to find his bio parents if he wanted but he said "you're my parents" and that was the end of it - he had no interest whatsoever. My mom said one of her friends hinted one time that she knew who his bio mother was and that she was from a prestigious family in town - Mom basically did the "hands over ears la la la" because she definitely didn't want to know if he & his own parents didn't!

[KellyB369]

Originally posted by SSS1365
I'm "half" adopted. Meaning I don't know my biological father, but I always lived with my mom. She got re-married when I was 3, and when I was 6 my dad (meaning the man who raised me) adopted me. I found out about a year and a half ago that I have 6 half-sisters out there

SSS, your story sounds EXACTLY like mine. I too am half adopted. My mom and father split before I was one and my mom remarried when I was three. When I was five my parents told me that my new dad wanted to adopt me. That meant no more contact with my real father (that's the law and he wasn't really ready to get out of college party mode yet anyway), but that was ok with me because I was really too young to understand and I liked my new dad. That year my parents had twins so I have twin half-brothers. I would think about my father occasionally growing up and sometimes I struggled with the issue. I decided I want to meet him when I was a senior in high school. It probably would have been a while before that happened if it weren't for him becoming terminally ill with brain cancer. So I met him once before he died and then met his son (my other half brother) at the funeral. My "new dad" and my twin half-brothers are like real family to me and always have been. I am sure one day I will see the other half-brother again but right now he's still too young to understand - I think he's about 11 now.
All of this probably sounds kind of crazy to those of you who haven't experienced anything like it, but it's really not a big deal to me. I have always said I'd rather have my situation than have divorced parents who don't get along and me have to split my time between the two.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by KellyB369
SSS, your story sounds EXACTLY like mine. I too am half adopted. My mom and father split before I was one and my mom remarried when I was three. When I was five my parents told me that my new dad wanted to adopt me. That meant no more contact with my real father (that's the law and he wasn't really ready to get out of college party mode yet anyway)...

Really? That's the law? I find that a little odd.

My uncle is now married for the third time and his new wife already had a son. He later adopted him, but he still see his biological father on a regular basis.

I know the laws differ from state to state, country to country, etc, etc, but I still find it a little odd that the law would keep you away from a biological parent.

[mu_agd]

Originally posted by Jill1228
Not a stupid question but the birth cert has the adoptive parents name on it. My husband's has his adoptive parents

ok, thanks. definitely answers some questions i had.

[cash78mere]

the one thing that is sad is how hard, long and expensive the adoption process is. there are so many loving couples who are dying for a child that just can't afford the thousands that it costs. it makes me sick that some junkie can go out and kill her newborn baby just because she doesn't want it, but a friend of mine is waiting desperately for a baby.

************************************************** *
which brings me to my next point....

i just thought i'd throw this out there. my friend, who teaches kindergarten with me, is trying to adopt a baby with her husband. they are financially able to afford an adoption, but can't find a birth mother. she has asked us all to be on the "lookout" for pregnant moms that can't keep their child.

anyone out there know of anyone looking to give their baby up for adoption? i'm serious. if you do, please PM me. thanks

[SSS1365]

Originally posted by KellyB369
That meant no more contact with my real father (that's the law and he wasn't really ready to get out of college party mode yet anyway), but that was ok with me because I was really too young to understand and I liked my new dad.

I don't know if that was the law here, but I do know that my biological father was supposed to show up for the hearing, and he never did. So basically the decision was left up to me (a 6-year-old). I remember the judge taking me to his chambers and asking me if I wanted Mark to be my daddy. Well, he was the only dad I'd ever known, so of course that was what I wanted! I've always borne resentment towards my biological father for the awful things he did to my mom, the fact that he never cared about me, and the fact that after he tried to contact me a year and a half ago I found that he's in trouble in NY for some sex crimes.... but if I want to look on the bright side, I guess I could say that his not showing up for the hearing was the best thing he ever did for me!

[KellyB369]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Really? That's the law? I find that a little odd.

My uncle is now married for the third time and his new wife already had a son. He later adopted him, but he still see his biological father on a regular basis.

I know the laws differ from state to state, country to country, etc, etc, but I still find it a little odd that the law would keep you away from a biological parent.

Sorry, I should have said that the law was that he was not to contact me, only I could contact him if I chose to. There wasn't a hearing with mine, or at least I don't think there was. My biological father agreed to sign the papers (I like to believe he did because he knew it was best for me) so I think it was all settled out of court. I vaguely remember someone (probably a social worker) coming to talk to me and I was all for my mom's husband being my dad so it was a pretty easy process.

[MTSUGURL]

Originally posted by SSS1365
I'm "half" adopted. Meaning I don't know my biological father, but I always lived with my mom. She got re-married when I was 3, and when I was 6 my dad (meaning the man who raised me) adopted me. I found out about a year and a half ago that I have 6 half-sisters out there

You're the only other person I've heard call it that. I'm also half adopted. My mom left my father when she was pregnant (thank God) and remarried when I was 2. He had visitation until I was 6, when I was adopted by my daddy. I knew about one sister, but found out about another when I was 19, and I also have a four year old brother that I'll never know. That's the stuff that sucks - knowing that there are people that are a part of me that I'll never know. I had contact with my bio father for a little while when I was 19, but I only saw him twice and spoke with him a few times. I have room in my life for one father, and that's who raised me.

When I was adopted I was issued a new birth certificate with my adopted father and new last name. My little brother had a difficult time understanding until he was older... he thought since I was adopted he was as well...

[HBADPi]

I have a lot of adopted friends and worked with some when I was a counselor at a summer camp. I'll never forget the one girl I met my last summer. I worked with 11-12 yr olds and she came in half way through the summer. She immediately attached herself to me on the first day and at lunch sat with the counselors instead of the kids. She told me how she was adopted and just recently found out. She's the youngest of three, has two older brothers who are biological and one day she was fighting with her middle brother when he turned around and says "Yeah well at least I'm not adopted." She thought he was just teasing her and just brushed it off but he wouldnt let it go so she finally asks her parents and they explain to her (finally) that she was indeed adopted. She wanted to find her birth mom but I really don't think she will be able to because from what she told me her birth mother left her on the steps of a church wrappe up in a blanket. Her adoptive parents went to the church and decided to take her in. My heart went out to the girl and I was so angry at her parents for the longest time. No child should learn they are adopted that way!!

[SSS1365]

Originally posted by MTSUGURL
That's the stuff that sucks - knowing that there are people that are a part of me that I'll never know.

I totally agree. I really would love to meet my 6 half-sisters, but in order to do that, I'd have to meet my biological father... which I don't want to do.

[GeekyPenguin]

There's an article in this month's issue of Real Simple about adoption that was really interesting to read. The basic premise is that a girl started searching for her adoptive parents at the same time she was trying to conceive. She found out her father had been killed in a plane crash of his college's football team, but got to meet his parents - it turned out her father was in the same fraternity (PiKA) as her husband, which was a cute little twist. She still hasn't been contacted by her birth mother, who does not wish to meet her.