Transfer Recruitment Story

[cinder1965]

Originally Posted by greekxgal

Honestly, I think that either one would be a good fit your you. I know that you say you keep "flip-flopping", but I woud say keep an open mind. Recruitment is hardly ever representative of what the sorority is really like. It's hard because you are judging on just a few things/people, but I truly believe either would be OK for you. I am hoping that you will get invited back to both for pref!

Me too!! It sounds like you have two really great options!! Good luck

[ALynnJ]

So this morning I got dropped by Daisy and invited back to Tulip. I was so upset. And unfortunately I went back to Tulip the first round, I wanted to have a break first to think it over and calm down enough so I wouldn't go in there looking upset. I stood in line waiting to go in the room and I thought, "I could drop out now and go to Daffodil's recruitment next week or I could wait until next semester and hope that Daisy does spring recruitment. But I've been waiting to do this for so long that I don't want to wait another week let alone another semester and there's no guarantee that Daisy will do spring recruitment (even though a lot of them do, including Daisy last year) and besides I feel like it'd seem desperate to go back."

I went into Tulip, and at first felt a little awkward, but I had a good conversation with the my favorite girl I met during recruitment. During the ritual I thought that I could see myself here, and when we left Mandy said, "I can see you in my letters" and I hugged her goodbye and then I decided that I'd go through and pref them.

I didn't get a call from my counselor so I knew I got a bid from Tulip. Our counselors called out our names and we opened our bids in front of them and told them whether we accepted or not. I got mine and I had barely opened it before I said, "Well, I already know what it is, so yes." But right before we ran out to our new sororities I started thinking, "What did I just do? Why did I sign the bid sheet? I should have just dropped and tried for Daffodil." I also kept looking at Daisy thinking, "I wish I was going there." When I ran to my new sorority I didn't feel excited. I didn't feel anything. I wanted so hard to love them immediately and I felt so awkward at the new member meeting. I looked around and I was only attached to Mandy (the girl from pref), Laura (a girl from my recruitment group), and Samantha (the girl who sat next to me during Daisy's sisterhood round). I liked my temporary big (I don't know what to call them without giving the sorority's name away), but I feel like she could tell I was "meh" about it.

I'm so upset that I wasn't immediately comfortable. I'm giving them a chance, but I don't know yet. All I know is that it's either Tulip or no sorority at all, because I can't accept a bid anywhere else for another year and there is no way I'm going through the stress of formal recruitment again. And besides, what's going to change in a year that would get me invited back to other sororities? My grades were good enough to get invited back to Daisy (the reason they were so picky is because they are very strict about GPA requirements), so it's not like the reason I got cut was because of my grades and if I improve them I'd have better chances. And why would I change my looks or attitude just to get different options? I don't want to spend the rest of my college career maintaining fakeness just to get in a different sorority.

For right now I'm not going to reveal the sorority yet (sorry). But basically I just would like advice for right now. Has anyone else felt this way about your sorority? Everyone seemed so excited, the new members and the sisters and I was just... there are no words. Maybe I just need to sleep on it.

[IndianaSigKap]

Yes, do sleep on it. Recruitment is an exhausting process, both physically and mentally. Don't be so hard on yourself. Every girl who goes through recruitment does not feel instant love with her chapter, I assure you it's an urban recruitment legend. Some relationships just take longer to cultivate. Does this make them any less significant? No, it just makes them normal.

Hang in there ALynnJ.

[candygirl200413]

I totally agree! I went through rush, and although I got my first choice, I was thinking "oh crap, like I can't believe I signed up for this!" But just like Indianasigkap said, it's okay for that to happen! I even told one of my sister's this and she totally agreed/understood! Now I'm totally fine, and I'm just about to enter the second week of being in the sorority. But it's okay that this happens and there is no need to be upset about it!

[ElieM]

I hope you read this thread that was recently updated by the OP

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=135496

[pinksequins]

ALynnJ. Do sleep on it. Then once you feel a bit better, you may wish to read HiThere's thread or Love2Read's thread.

[Missouri Ivy]

Would you walk into any other group full of people you've never met or only talked to for a few minutes and expect to feel completely at home? Relationships take time to develop. Relax and get a good night's sleep. It can be easy to second guess yourself, but had you dropped, there's no guarantee you'd have gotten a bid from the colony, or that any groups would be doing informal this spring. Starting tomorrow, make it your mission to start getting to know your new sisters. The best way to tamp down those thoughts of the "grass being greener" is to keep busy and appreciate what you already have. Congratulations on your bid. I hope you'll have a great time in your chapter.

[Wynter]

Originally Posted by Missouri Ivy

Would you walk into any other group full of people you've never met or only talked to for a few minutes and expect to feel completely at home? Relationships take time to develop. Relax and get a good night's sleep. It can be easy to second guess yourself, but had you dropped, there's no guarantee you'd have gotten a bid from the colony, or that any groups would be doing informal this spring. Starting tomorrow, make it your mission to start getting to know your new sisters. The best way to tamp down those thoughts of the "grass being greener" is to keep busy and appreciate what you already have. Congratulations on your bid. I hope you'll have a great time in your chapter.

I agree with this 100% I think during the excitement and stress and craziness of recruitment, with all of its pageantry, many PNMs forget that sororities do not mean instant best friends. Groups are complicated and it takes time and hard work just like any relationship.

But I have to tell you girl, being part of a sisterhood is the most amazing feeling in the world. Once you're in (initiated, if you choose to stay that is), it's something I can't even describe.

[*winter*]

The fun started for me when I got my Big. Until then, it was just kind of a blur of pledge (yeah- I'm old! LOL!) meetings and crafting events. We did a lot of get to know you, but I'm kind of shy so it took me longer to feel at home.

The bonds come from shared experiences- when you start studying with these girls, eating meals with them, meeting up at the gym and doing things on the weekends, you will begin to really feel like part of the group. Silly college things like group study sessions for midterms or late night trips to the 24 hour store or diner. Take every opportunity to be social with the girls, not only at the sorority events, but outside of them. Try to find a niche or group you feel comfortable with, or some other new members.

If all this happens and you still don't...you can decide what you want to do the .

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by *winter*

The fun started for me when I got my Big. Until then, it was just kind of a blur of pledge (yeah- I'm old! LOL!) meetings and crafting events.

This!

I have a horrible memory anyway, but what I remember the least of my collegiate sorority experience was my pledge period. It really is such a weird time, especially the first few weeks. You get a bid, you celebrate with people you don't even know, you're told to find a white dress, you go through a ceremony that you don't even fully understand, and you find yourself just kind of going through the motions. It's like settling into any new place; it's a little exciting, a little frightening, and you spend half your time trying to figure out what's going on and the other half trying to be sure you don't make a fool of yourself.

Eventually, though, you'll settle in, find some friends, learn about your sorority and what it means to be a part of one, and before you know it, the next group of new members will be going through their first ritual ceremony, and you'll laugh to yourself as you're reminded of how confused you were when you were in their shoes.

Just give it some time.

[ConfettiCupcake]

ALynJ - this was really how I felt on Bid day. I kind of felt like I was supposed to be happier than I really was I when I looked around I felt like everyone else was super hapy except me.

I'm still a pledge because recruitment was just earlier this semester, but I am soooooooo happy that I ended up where I ended up. It took a week or maybe even two for it to all seem right, but when I met the sister who ended up becoming my Big, I really felt like it all worked out just exactly right for me.

Don't force it. Just let it happen and try your hardest not to compare your experience to anyone else's. You really liked Tulip and when you step back and let all of the recruitment stress settle down, I think you will see that Tulip is the right place for you!

Hugs!

[AOII Angel]

Give it time. Having 3 people in the group that you know and like is a great start. Over time, they all will expand your reach in the chapter and introduce you to sisters who they know that are equally nice and fun. You made a quick decision at bid card signing. I applaud you for your mature behavior. Now, you have to follow through. That means putting your heart and soul into getting to know your new chapter with no reservations. Having some jitters is okay, but do yourself a favor and get over them fast because you're only hurting yourself. Good luck!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I got my first choice and STILL felt like an awkward outsider on bid day. It's just how it is, when you haven't had time to get to know everyone

[ALynnJ]

I slept on it and while I still not 100% sure yet, I know I'm going to continue with the new member period. I'm willing to give Tulip a chance. You all are right, it is impossible to fall in love with 100 girls at once, and I know that they like me because they chose me.

I'm still in the process of having a good cathartic cry that I've needed all weekend. Maybe once it's over I can finally go to class and have a clear head. Honestly, I think it's more of me getting over the rejection of Daisy. I need to realize that Daisy's decision should have nothing to do with how I feel about Tulip and I need to get over it. I've dealt with rejection my whole life so I thought I had thick enough skin to deal with the rejection of recruitment, but I'm human.

We have new member pinning tonight (maybe that's also another clue because I don't know if all sororities immediately pin their new members), so I need to find a white skirt or dress.

I can't wait to get over Daisy and focus all of my attention on Tulip so I can finally reveal which sorority it is!

[AOII Angel]

(((Hugs))). Rejection is tough. Even when you have a thick skin. I hope Tulip gives you a soft place to land.