Time Cover

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

@IrishLake, I don't think so...

I work with a woman who adopted a newborn about a year ago. She told me horror stories about women (complete strangers, mind you) berating her about giving her formula. Some people have no common decency.

Wait---she adopted a newborn and was giving it formula and people berated her about it? She adopted the child...so what was the child supposed to eat exactly then? I wasn't aware milk could just magically appear from nowhere in a boob?

I was adopted at birth and it was a private adoption, meaning my folks had no contact with biological mommy. All contact went through lawyers, etc. I was soy formula fed. I think I turned out alright. While I have major issues with my mother now, it has nothing to do with the fact I was bottle fed vs breast fed and everything to do with her choice to stop living after the divorce and then going bat-poop crazy and basically wanting to become an invalid.

My sister tried hard to breast feed but she was too nervous and I believe my nephew sensed it and contributed to him being upset his first couple of months. Once he was switched to formula and we helped her get him on a regular sleep/eat schedule both became quite happy and close. The kid will turn 6 in August and is almost as tall as I am (4'9).

I think breast feeding is a personal choice as far as what works best for the family. If a mom can and wants to do it great. If a mom cant or chooses not to for whatever reason, then I think that's okay too. I must agree with others on here that have stated if a child can come around asking for table food or milk, then it's probably a good time to get the kid off the nip.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24

Wait---she adopted a newborn and was giving it formula and people berated her about it? She adopted the child...so what was the child supposed to eat exactly then? I wasn't aware milk could just magically appear from nowhere in a boob?

It can be done. It is a lot of work, but adoptive mothers can breastfeed.

[AnotherKD]

I think it was that people assumed the child was biologically hers. Which was none of their business. Parents shouldn't have to advertise that their children are adopted in order to not be harassed by strangers.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

Parents shouldn't be harassed by strangers.

FYP

Maybe it's just my ignorance, but I never understood why folks even concerned themselves with the breastfeeding habits of others. If it works for (general) you, then YOU do it. Don't worry about what Nancy Newmother is doing.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Maybe it's just my ignorance, but I never understood why folks even concerned themselves with the breastfeeding habits of others. If it works for (general) you, then YOU do it. Don't worry about what Nancy Newmother is doing.

Because there are woman who think that anyone who was truly educated about the benefits of breastfeeding would never make any other choice.

Because there are women who think that women who are unsuccessful just didn't try hard enough or have access to enough information.

Because there are insecure women who need to have their every life choice validated by other people making the same choice. They are too insecure to allow other women to make different choices.

Ad nauseum...

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

It can be done. It is a lot of work, but adoptive mothers can breastfeed.

"Even men's breasts can be induced to lactate!" EW!

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24

"Even men's breasts can be induced to lactate!" EW!

I agree. For both men and women, I find this practice strange. You may produce milk but do not produce colostrum which is the beneficial, antibody rich milk touted by breast feeding advocates.

[pbear19]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

FYP

Maybe it's just my ignorance, but I never understood why folks even concerned themselves with the breastfeeding habits of others. If it works for (general) you, then YOU do it. Don't worry about what Nancy Newmother is doing.

But then shouldn't this sentiment be applied to those who breastfeed their 3 year olds?

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by pbear19

But then shouldn't this sentiment be applied to those who breastfeed their 3 year olds?

I'm assuming this was meant as a general comment? I haven't commented on this current "issue," as I honestly don't care lol

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by pbear19

But then shouldn't this sentiment be applied to those who breastfeed their 3 year olds?

If a woman wants to breastfeed her three year old in the privacy of normal life, it's really none of my business. When she puts the poor kid on the cover of a national magazine with his mouth on her breast, then I think people have the freedom to criticize her choice.

[DrPhil]

Dr. Bill Sears of Attachment Parenting is on The View right now. You will be able to view it here in a few days.

I am always amused by the people (all over the Internet and in real life) who claim not to care about or judge parents for what they do with their children in the privacy of their own home. I keep hearing people (in real life) say "parents need to do what parents need to do...who are we to judge?" I have heard fools apply that to leaving a 3 year old child home alone while the parents are at work.

Sure, breastfeeding a child up to the age of 3 is not the end of the world so that is not the biggest issue. But, whether or not you care or judge about that is because of the topic of breastfeeding a toddler itself rather than the fact that the parents are doing that with their own children and in the comfort of their own home. There are other things that parents do with their own children in the comfort of their own home that you not only care about but judge and even want the law to step in.

[ASTalumna06]

Amen to this.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kriste...b_1510807.html

[DrPhil]

Sure, the battles of relatively privileged people who have enough time and resources to engage in Nipplegate is of little concern in the grander scheme of things.

Yes, there are parentless children and at-risk children.

However, I must call bullshit because it seems as though some people are missing the middle ground. Parentless children and at-risk (does the author care to share what "at-risk" means in this context?) children do not become as such by mysterious and unknown forces. They become as such because it matters what parents and adults-who-don't-deserve-to-be-called-parents (across demographic characteristics) do both inside and outside of the home. We all have topics that we care about regardless of its larger impact. People who claim not to care what parents do with their children are only saying that because it has yet to reach a level that they deem worthy of attention. And who is to say what that level is?

And, no, I do not assume that the mothers who are engaged in Nipplegate are all "competent mothers" as the author seems to think.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Sure, the battles of relatively privileged people who have enough time and resources to engage in Nipplegate is of little concern in the grander scheme of things.

Yes, there are parentless children and at-risk children.

However, I must call bullshit because it seems as though some people are missing the middle ground. Parentless children and at-risk (does the author care to share what "at-risk" means in this context?) children do not become as such by mysterious and unknown forces. They become as such because it matters what parents and adults-who-don't-deserve-to-be-called-parents (across demographic characteristics) do both inside and outside of the home. We all have topics that we care about regardless of its larger impact. People who claim not to care what parents do with their children are only saying that because it has yet to reach a level that they deem worthy of attention. And who is to say what that level is?

And, no, I do not assume that the mothers who are engaged in Nipplegate are all "competent mothers" as the author seems to think.

I think the whole point is that a competent mother who is raising their child as they see fit shouldn't be arguing with another competent mother about how she's raising her child. Let's be honest.. if you (general you) never breastfeed, and another mother yells at you for this, will you suddenly start breastfeeding?

As others in this thread have said, people get outraged over the wrong things. There could be legitimate reasons why a mother isn't breastfeeding.. or why one does longer than the average woman. Whatever the reasoning, it shouldn't be anyone else's business.

If you want to stand up and fight for anything, stand up and fight for something that's worth it. Because demanding that another parent raise their child in the exact same manner as you is ridiculous.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I think the whole point is that a competent mother who is raising their child as they see fit shouldn't be arguing with another competent mother about how she's raising her child.

What is this assessment of competency based on?

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Because demanding that another parent raise their child in the exact same manner as you is ridiculous.

I agree if we are talking about Nipplegate for children under the age of 5.

In a larger sense, which is what my post is talking about in response to that author's assessment of what "really matters", let us get rid of some of these norms and laws. We should not be able to tell a parent that things such as leaving a 5 year old child home alone while they are at work is problematic. I have actually had arguments with people about this. It is amazing how far people go to not only defend parent rights but to defend the diversity of parenting practices. "Parents have to do what we have to do...don't judge because there is no right and wrong."