Women should get free birth control, panel says - Page 4

DrPhil · #1 07-20-2011, 06:52 PM

I believe that partners should share expenses but consider whether he pays expenses, that benefit the both of you, that you do not pay.

AGDee · #2 07-20-2011, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I believe that partners should share expenses but consider whether he pays expenses, that benefit the both of you, that you do not pay.

Agreed. I was going to add that and couldn't figure out how to word it. Like, if he's popping $40 every time you go to the movies or out to dinner or.. $80 if you do both in one night, then he's contributing and feeding you!

DrPhil · #3 07-20-2011, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

Agreed. I was going to add that and couldn't figure out how to word it. Like, if he's popping $40 every time you go to the movies or out to dinner or.. $80 if you do both in one night, then he's contributing and feeding you!

LOL. That or more instrumental costs like groceries, house stuff, and even his own medical stuff that benefit the other partner.

thetaj · #4 07-20-2011, 07:00 PM

Who caaares who caaaares just gimme free birth control! YEEEEES

PiKA2001 · #5 07-20-2011, 07:45 PM

I agree with Ghostwriter about the "free" comment, but in a different way. As I understand the health care law, everyone who uses the system will have to pay to be part of it so women will be getting "free" birth control as part of the health care plan they have to buy. Right?

I didn't know there was such a vast array of birth control pills out there. The cynic in me says that it's probably going up to the government which birth control you get for "free". I can also see some people getting jealous and causing a stink that their blood pressure or diabetes medication isn't considered preventative.

DrPhil · #6 07-20-2011, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PiKA2001

I agree with Ghostwriter about the "free" comment, but in a different way.

Has Ghostwriter posted in this thread?

christiangirl · #7 07-21-2011, 01:37 AM

^^^That. Allat.

ETA: Dang you, Phil. That was meant for Rhoyal but you got there too fast.

DrPhil · #8 07-21-2011, 12:23 PM

Sometimes things are about how we present it rather than the overall point.

For instance, if someone thinks you can afford to pay but want the other person to pay half simply as a matter of principle, it can seem silly and like you're trying too hard to prove a point. If it isn't like you all are negotiating the things that he pays for in your relationship, but are only discussing birth control costs, he may wonder "why is THIS the thing that you want to negotiate?"

That can spark annoyance and he can feel like you need to just continue paying as you've always done and find something else to complain about (depending on the tone of your conversations). Afterall, responding to his resistance by saying you'll stop taking it and therefore sex will stop (I assume), is a threat and ultimatum that you have yet to act on. Threats and ultimatums, especially those that you have yet to act on, tend not to work well in relationships. They work better on children.

(Some couples share these kinds of expensives and some couples don't. There's no right or wrong, it's just a matter of what the couple negotiates.)

KSig RC · #9 07-21-2011, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Sometimes things are about how we present it rather than the overall point.

For instance, if someone thinks you can afford to pay but want the other person to pay half simply as a matter of principle, it can seem silly and like you're trying too hard to prove a point. If it isn't like you all are negotiating total costs of your relationship, but are only discussing birth control costs, he may wonder "why is THIS the thing that you want to negotiate?"

That can spark annoyance and he can feel like you need to just continue paying as you've always done and find something else to complain about (depending on the tone of your conversations). Afterall, responding to his resistance by saying you'll stop taking it and therefore sex will stop (I assume), is a threat and ultimatum that you have yet to act on. Threats and ultimatums, especially those that you have yet to act on, tend not to work well in relationships. They work better for kids.

Right - I agree, that's why I went with the "on face" caveat (also I have problems committing to a position, as you all know). The context is everything. I also wanted to brag about being SuperBoyfriend - where's that London barrister douche when you need him?

agzg · #10 07-21-2011, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSig RC

I also wanted to brag about being SuperBoyfriend - where's that London barrister douche when you need him?

Stop trying to impress me.

agzg · #11 07-21-2011, 12:25 PM

I don't take hormonal birth control for several reasons, so it's a little more "equal" between live-in and I on who buys the condoms, but it does irk me that in a lot of ways guys see the pill as the woman's business, while reaping all the benefits of having a relationship with a woman on the pill.

ETA: I would agree with you somewhat, DrPhil, but in this case, it seems like she's really having a hard time scraping together the money for the copay. Of course, my threat would be "help me or I'm out" with a follow-through, but I don't pretend to know what works in all relationships. I think if I were on hormonal birth control and in a serious relationship, it would be a dealbreaker for me.

DrPhil · #12 07-21-2011, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agzg

ETA: I would agree with you somewhat, DrPhil, but in this case, it seems like she's really having a hard time scraping together the money for the copay. Of course, my threat would be "help me or I'm out" with a follow-through, but I don't pretend to know what works in all relationships. I think if I were on hormonal birth control and in a serious relationship, it would be a dealbreaker for me.

I feel you.

The bolded works if you're prepared for him to say "peace out," not necessarily because he doesn't want to help you pay but because you suddenly became his parent.

I believe in a hiearchy of relationship concerns. Like you said, everyone/every couple has their own list and ranking of concerns.

ASUADPi · #13 07-21-2011, 05:53 PM

I'm totally for free birth control.

I remember when I started college, my dad had just started a new job with new insurance and my BCP wasn't covered, but Depo was. I started Depo.

A girl I went to high school with works for the AZ Legislature and she actually wrote and got a bill into the house and senate that required ALL forms of birth control for women to be covered by insurances in AZ. She did this because at the time not all birth control was covered but yet for some insurances Viagra was. She had a HUGE problem with that. Bill passed.

When I was on Depo my copay was $75, but I got the shot every 12 weeks. Now I'm on a generic BCP and I pay like $10 bucks a month. Even though it is only like $10 bucks, I'm a poor teacher, that 10 bucks can actually go a long way.

AlwaysSAI · #14 07-24-2011, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

When I was on Depo my copay was $75, but I got the shot every 12 weeks. Now I'm on a generic BCP and I pay like $10 bucks a month. Even though it is only like $10 bucks, I'm a poor teacher, that 10 bucks can actually go a long way.

I try to tell so many people this. Teachers can survive on not enough time and barely enough money. Everyone I've tried to explain it to has just rolled their eyes at me.

And, my copay just went up to $12. Thank you NC.

ASUADPi · #15 07-24-2011, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

I try to tell so many people this. Teachers can survive on not enough time and barely enough money. Everyone I've tried to explain it to has just rolled there eyes at me.

And, my copay just went up to $12. Thank you NC.

Oh god I'm in NC. But my insurance in federal so hopefully it won't go up.