k_s... not about white or the "southern" way of doing things
I am wondering how I should approach this, if I decide to at all.
My husband’s brother (BiL) recently told my husband that he has bought an engagement ring and plans to propose to his live-in girlfriend. This is great news, because we really like her and her daughter, and we’re happy for them and for them to become a part of the family. However, I’m concerned about the timing and place BiL plans to propose to his GF.
Husband and BiL have a cousin getting married in Virginia the weekend before Christmas. Hub and I cannot go, but BiL and GF are going. BiL plans to propose to her the night before their cousins wedding. No one else in the family knows that The Ring has been bought, but GF knows, because she picked it out. I’ve always been taught that attention on a wedding day should be on the bride and groom (which is why you don’t wear white to a wedding, why you don’t propose to your girlfriend at the reception, etc.). If BiL proposes to GF the night before, in the hotel room, the same hotel that the bride and groom and all other out of town guests are staying at, the same hotel where the reception is after the church ceremony, everyone will know immediately on the day of the wedding as soon as she's seen wearing The Ring. Word will spread like wildfire. Supposedly The Ring is large (3.5 carats total) so it will be pretty noticable. While I think people will be happy and excited for them, I also think it will be taking away from the cousins’ special day.
Should I mind my own damn business? Is it bad etiquette on my part to say something? Or should I put a bug in BiLs ear that it might distract (detract?) from Cousins wedding day? The men in this family are not the type to think about this kind of stuff. When I said something to the Hub, even he was like "huh. Yeah, I guess when you look at it from that perspective..." but he refuses to be the one to say anything (spineless git). Note: BiL and GF go away for long weekends all the time, this particular weekend just happens to be handy for him.
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