A Word of Caution to PNMs - Page 4

Drolefille · #1 12-11-2010, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

My question is: how exactly is a PNM put in a bad situation by a parent who does not post their name, identifying information, or make stupid "that house must be skanks because they dropped my baby blah blah blah" comments?

I dislike the discouraging of parents who might legitimate questions or are excited for their PNM.

How is a PNM helped by having a minute by minute update of her recruitment on the internet even if you think* she cannot be identified. How is the parent even helped by that? There's looking for support and then there's recruitment threads. The two have been and continue to be very different on GC.

*And that assumption has been wrong very frequently.

Chicago88 · #2 12-11-2010, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jen

And be aware that if you DO ask about a specific school, you've now told all of GC where you go to school. This is why the search function is awesome.

True to a point but people ask about schools who haven't gotten accepted yet, like myself. And I agree about the search tool but in all honesty I dont go back more than three to four pages worth of threads.

knight_shadow · #3 12-11-2010, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicago88

True to a point but people ask about schools who haven't gotten accepted yet, like myself. And I agree about the search tool but in all honesty I dont go back more than three to four pages worth of threads.

90% of the threads start with "I'll be enrolling at University of State in the fall, and ____"

And the information is out there. If a PNM doesn't take the time to look for it, she can't expect GC to do it for her.

Alumiyum · #4 12-11-2010, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicago88

True to a point but people ask about schools who haven't gotten accepted yet, like myself. And I agree about the search tool but in all honesty I dont go back more than three to four pages worth of threads.

As long as you search first...it's true that in some cases there might be a thread, but it's three or four years old and might not be relevant now. Many of the questions that are asked have been answered already pretty recently, but there are definitely times when you need information that isn't there. That's when you ask.

DrPhil · #5 12-11-2010, 02:13 PM

Actually, constantly (versus when the context is appropriate) reminding people that something is their opinion and not everyone shares their opinion is extremely insulting and snotty whether done on GC or in real life. It assumes that people are presenting their opinion as the truth or speaking generally rather than individually. Bad assumption.

Alumiyum and some others don't mind the threads, some others don't like the threads, and there are others sitting on the fence. That reality of difference of opinions never ends a discussion unless people just get tired of discussing. LOL.

Alumiyum · #6 12-11-2010, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Actually, constantly (versus when the context is appropriate) reminding people that something is their opinion and not everyone shares their opinion is extremely insulting and snotty whether done on GC or in real life. It assumes that people are presenting their opinion as the truth or speaking generally rather than individually. Bad assumption.

Alumiyum and some others don't mind the threads, some others don't like the threads, and there are others sitting on the fence. That reality of difference of opinions never ends a discussion unless people just get tired of discussing. LOL.

I find referring to recruitment threads as "circle jerks"/"mental masturbation", PNMs as dumb, parents who post as helicopter parents, personal insults, and the assumption that recruitment threads have nothing at all to contribute to be extremely insulting and snotty. We all have our pet peeves and such.

Pretty much everything Drolefille, myself, and others have posted on the topic can be summed up in the bolded of your post.

DrPhil · #7 12-11-2010, 02:29 PM

That's why "insulting" and "snotty" are subjective.

Keep the party going.

Chicago88 · #8 12-11-2010, 04:35 PM

True. Ive also noticed that some threads pop up if a certain word is in the thread on page 6 of 22. I tend to skip those. Whoops?

DeltaBetaBaby · #9 12-11-2010, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicago88

True. Ive also noticed that some threads pop up if a certain word is in the thread on page 6 of 22. I tend to skip those. Whoops?

You should be able to search on thread title only.

Really, it's okay to ask questions. We all know that the GL website isn't always totally truthful when it comes to things like recs and outfits. I think the examples given above were good ones, and in my mind, it boils down to the difference between "I have questions about rush at XXX University" and "I have questions about MY rush at XXX University".

KSUViolet06 · #10 12-11-2010, 05:34 PM

Avoid asking any question starting with "what are my chances of getting a bid at _______?" and continuing with a list of your stats (GPA, how "cute" you are, how many friends you have in chapters, whether you're a legacy).

We do not know.

No matter how many "stats" you provide us, we still don't know.

Granted, there are SOME situations that are pretty black and white and we MAY be able to tell you (with some degree of certainty) that you really don't have much of a chance.

Example: "I'm going to SEC U, I'm a junior transfer, and I have a (insert min. GPA standard for recruitment here). I also have a 3 year old kid and work 3 jobs. What are my chances of getting a bid?"

But barring a few extreme situations like those, we don't know. So don't ask us what your chances are.

Chicago88 · #11 12-11-2010, 05:26 PM

Right. Its not important to me what sorority is most popular, or who likes blondes.. yadda yadda. What important is I find the right one for me.

Jen · #12 12-11-2010, 05:26 PM

I created a Search how to.

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh....php?p=2010891

Chicago88 · #13 12-11-2010, 05:30 PM

Ive been a lurker for a while now. I know how to use the search. As much as certain people preach and preach about the search function.. some just dont get it. Rather than writing back snippity, snarky, and sometimes bitchy comments to those don't search, how about they just dont get a response. Let them figure it out themselves.

Jen · #14 12-11-2010, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chicago88

Ive been a lurker for a while now. I know how to use the search. As much as certain people preach and preach about the search function.. some just dont get it. Rather than writing back snippity, snarky, and sometimes bitchy comments to those don't search, how about they just dont get a response. Let them figure it out themselves.

Thanks. I appreciate the comments. I still think the search thread is useful.

FleurGirl · #15 12-11-2010, 07:38 PM

For the most part, I found the recruitment stories on here really helpful when I was a PNM. Granted, some of them get rediculous and it's obvious that the person witing it is only looking for sympathy, but with most of them I really identified with the girl and reading about her recruitment helped me prepare. By the time I was going through, I had read about it many, many times, to the point that it felt like I had done it already -- for me, that was huge in helping me feel prepared and not panicked.
There's certainly a right way and a wrong way to do it. Identifying your school/the sororities/yourself is probably going to come back to bite you, no matter how positive your comments are. But honestly, if someone wants to share their story on here for someone to read in the future, I see nothing wrong with it.