Please don't stalk the PNMs

[epchick]

Originally Posted by shadokat

Blondie, post count doesn't matter I agree with what you're saying here, and it's a good thought. Why is it that members on this board feel the need to say "hey kate1214, i know what school you're at!". PNM or not, I find that sorta creepy. Why do people have to go there with a PNM, instead of just sitting back and letting her tell her story?

There are 2 different reasons why people do the whole "I know what school you're at."

1. Either the PNM is not using a lot of discretion, and it's more of a cautionary "watch out, I know what school your at and there might be actives looking at this board"

2. Just cause they want to.


I can't speak for anyone else on this board, but I hope that when I see a "I know what school your at" it's for reason #1. I agree with you people who do it just to do it (like reason #2) is creepy and they accomplish nothing from saying it except to maybe scare people off.

But as much as I, or you, or anyone else might not like it, people here are going to continue to do it.



And sometimes "stalking" (if that what people wanna call PM'ing a PNM about info from their rush) is a good thing. Anyone remember katiebug319472 or whatever her username was? She kept claiming she was gonna go through recruitment at Macon State, then it was FL. When I finally pm'ed her she was already an AGD @ UGA. But she was perpetrating Phi Mu as well? She ended up being a fake, but noone would have known unless they PM'ed her (like I and several other GC members did).

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I hadn't intended to say anything else on this thread, because I could personally give a rat's behind if UGA or KSU believe a word I say. It's laughable to me that people come crawling out of the woodwork to bash on someone who is voicing their viewpoint, and THEN tell them they aren't credible because they don't have 5,000 posts in 2 years.

My point was that within the last several years, what used to be a forum that told recruitment stories at all sorts of universities, large and small, has become a forum where PNMs hide under the guise of the flavors of Bath and Body Works scents and hope nobody figures out their university or the sororities, because SOMEONE ultimately may come out and spill the beans about who/where they are, and then they could be royally screwed in their recruitment pursuits.

I have had several PNMs PM over the past couple of years asking me recruitment related questions, and I have advised many of them not to post their stories until after they were finished because some folks on here tend to be a bit overzealous on recruitment threads.

Call me incredible, call me a bitch b/c I say I think people can and will stalk someone based on a couple of details, but you can't deny the fact that girls aren't posting their stories anymore in the record numbers that they used to, and the reason isn't because there aren't as many PNMs here. So if those of you who have large post counts discount my theory, feel free to add your theory, and have a discussion about why this is happening instead of a shit throwing contest picking at someone's character.

Thank you.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I hadn't intended to say anything else on this thread, because I could personally give a rat's behind if UGA or KSU believe a word I say. It's laughable to me that people come crawling out of the woodwork to bash on someone who is voicing their viewpoint, and THEN tell them they aren't credible because they don't have 5,000 posts in 2 years.

My point was that within the last several years, what used to be a forum that told recruitment stories at all sorts of universities, large and small, has become a forum where PNMs hide under the guise of the flavors of Bath and Body Works scents and hope nobody figures out their university or the sororities, because SOMEONE ultimately may come out and spill the beans about who/where they are, and then they could be royally screwed in their recruitment pursuits.

I have had several PNMs PM over the past couple of years asking me recruitment related questions, and I have advised many of them not to post their stories until after they were finished because some folks on here tend to be a bit overzealous on recruitment threads.

Call me incredible, call me a bitch b/c I say I think people can and will stalk someone based on a couple of details, but you can't deny the fact that girls aren't posting their stories anymore in the record numbers that they used to, and the reason isn't because there aren't as many PNMs here. So if those of you who have large post counts discount my theory, feel free to add your theory, and have a discussion about why this is happening instead of a shit throwing contest picking at someone's character.

I may have missed something, but I don't think I've been picking at anyone's character, and I'm not sure why I'm getting caught up in this sweeping generalization.

I have no well thought out theory why fewer PNMs are posting.

I tend to think it's because the girls going through recruitment are much savvier about the real life implications of what you say on the internet generally. And then of course, there are very frequently a chorus of warnings that occur at the start of every thread about what could happen if you say too much.

I'd rather see the PNMs err on the side of caution too, so I'm not in any way in disagreement with that.

But none of this changes the fact that specific evidence of bad stuff that has happened is more convincing generally than just making general claims, IMO. And I'd say that's true no matter how many post you've made, but I'm more accepting of some claims by people whose posts I'm familiar with, as faulty as that might be.

[DrPhil]

I'm just glad you all are discussing this without sock puppets.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I'm just glad you all are discussing this without sock puppets.

Although the irony of talking about credibility as a sock puppet is pretty amusing

This is one of those threads where I can't quite figure out why it went in the direction it did.

If what I said was said to me the same way I said it, I don't think I'd be insulted or angry.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

Although the irony of talking about credibility as a sock puppet is pretty amusing

This is one of those threads where I can't quite figure out why it went in the direction it did.

If what I said was said to me the same way I said it, I don't think I'd be insulted or angry.

That would be funny.

As an outsider swerving into your lane for the 4th time, I don't know, either.

It could go back to how people interpret things differently.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

That would be funny.

As an outsider swerving into your lane for the 4th time, I don't know, either.

It could go back to how people interpret things differently.

I typically enjoy swerves, unless someone is giving out bad advice to people who aren't going to know better.

[33girl]

If I say to anyone "I know what school you're at" or "be careful" - it's because I'm worried about her, not because I'm going to call up the ASA chapter at that school and tell them not to give her a bid. (Like they would give a rat's ass what I said anyway.) There have been people on here who have been indiscreet enough to use their real names, their real IMs or a username they use frequently on other boards (I think we all know who I mean) and it's had a negative impact on them in some way or another, whether that be rush or AI or things that happened afterwards.

I know there was a girl on here who wrote a quite frank but still polite story and used real names, including ASA. I was not in the least offended by the things she said, but it was not my chapter and I'm not an active. Actives are such raw freaking nerves during rush that just reading something like "the singing was a little too loud" is enough to make some people go over the edge and say "THAT WHORE SKANK IS NEVER JOINING MY SORORITY." And those aren't the women who are going to sign on to GC and post.

There was also a girl going thru rush who was bold enough to use the sorority she wanted as her username, pretty much spit in everyone's face when they gave her advice, and got a bid to that sorority anyway.

I would much rather hear stories with real names in them, but it's not worth even one girl being cut because of it.

[Zillini]

I've only ever investigated a PNM who posted here once. She had named the school (where I advise), her hometown, and listed a slew of other info. She proceeded to be rude, obnoxious, combative, and insulting to GC members who offered her advice. A classic case of asking for help and then getting nasty because it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

Because she had provided so much info it wasn't difficult for me to figure out who she was. I never had to say a word about her antics here because I discovered that my members didn't like her either and she was released.

Would I have said something if they had liked her? I honestly don't know and am glad I didn't have to find out.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Actives are such raw freaking nerves during rush that just reading something like "the singing was a little too loud" is enough to make some people go over the edge and say "THAT WHORE SKANK IS NEVER JOINING MY SORORITY." And those aren't the women who are going to sign on to GC and post.

IMO, this is the important point to be made about warning pnms. It is not the regular GCers who are the danger. Every time I sign in, there are far more people listed as "Guests" who are on this site than registered users. Those guests could be anyone , anywhere, doing anything...

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

Every time I sign in, there are far more people listed as "Guests" who are on this site than registered users. Those guests could be anyone , anywhere, doing anything...

That's the scary thing about boards that don't require registration to be a voyeur.

[ellebud]

I absolutely do not understand someone calling a Panhellenic office to see if someone pledged "their" house (or even a house) based on postings on GreekChat. I do understand people saying cautionary things to pnms. I remember reading the beginnings of a thread (about UT) where the girl's ideas about life and recruitment were close to social suicide, not only for recruitment, but for life in general. No one can "fix" that except the young lady and the time it takes to grow up.

[carnation]

...here's a thread for PNMs to think about...

[AOII Angel]

Thanks, Carnation. I have a few times PMd a PNM to tell her that she has given way too much information and should be more discrete. Usually this is when they've given their name, school or region/state and other identifying specifics that could make them easily identifiable. I just let them know that they may want to edit the information or be really careful what they say here so they don't ruin their recruitment. An ounce of prevention...

[carnation]

Thanks, AOIIAngel, for doing that for them! PNMs, if your name, hometown, hair color, birthday, whatever, are in your user name pleeeease take them out.