The importance of conversation/personality during recruitment

[KSUViolet06]

Upping since we've kicked off recruitment season.

[KSUViolet06]

Bumping because you can do everything right as a PNM in terms of grades and such, but will have a hard time if you are unable to hold a conversation.

[KSUViolet06]

Carnation, I think this is sticky-worthy. As if we have room for anything else to stick! But really, I think that girls get so locked in on "omgrecsclotheshairjewelry" that they forget that they actually need to TALK to these women in order to get an invite.
Then they don't get one, then it's all "but I have recs to everyone and a 4.0!" But they fail to consider that their conversation skills/personality just didn't make them memorable.

With bigger recruitments, if you don't have personal connections with sisters, you NEED to have conversation skills to go with your recs/awesome outfits, ladies!

[tld221]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

2 words.... ACTIVE LISTENING

Don't go into a party with a list of canned questions. Just enter into a conversation naturally and LISTEN to what the other person is saying. Base your next question (or comment) on something she said.

Example:
"What did you do with your time off this summer?"

"Oh, not much -- just worked and went to see my grandparents."

Next question...ask about work or where her grandparents live, etc.

Active listening is the key.

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Can I just say this is great advice even for guys pursuing NPHC fraternities.

Originally Posted by honeychile

Not about conversation, but Dale Carnegie advises that you wear your nametag on your right side. The reasoning is that you extend your right hand to shake hands, and it's easier to see that way.

These are also awesome tidbits. I do workshops on active listening with my students and I think it's so important for a generation of me-me-me millenials. Are cell phones prohibited from rush parties? I know some freak OUT without their phones glued to their hands or in their pockets. They legit cannot function, let alone converse without needing to Instagram whatever is nearby.

The nametag bit I learned working in HR/recruitment, and carried over to recruiting in greek life. Nametag on the right and hold any items given to you in your left, so your right hand is always free to shake hands. A woman came to my office and extended her left hand and it completely disoriented me. Do people really not know that it matters?

Lastly, YES to this info being just as important for NPHC. As members, we're actively listening and archiving in our brains how we may consider you not only as a potential member but as our sister/brother. (Not that NPC members aren't doing so during rush, just saying since NPHC interactions with potential members are more spread apart)

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by tld221

These are also awesome tidbits. I do workshops on active listening with my students and I think it's so important for a generation of me-me-me millenials. Are cell phones prohibited from rush parties? I know some freak OUT without their phones glued to their hands or in their pockets. They legit cannot function, let alone converse without needing to Instagram whatever is nearby.

Cell phones are not permitted at my alma mater or at any other recruitment I've worked with. Most recruitment counselors collect and redistribute at the door or something like that.

I DO notice that while they are not permitted in parties, PNMs whip them out like, the EXACT second that they get out of the party to share their opinions with the world. Ex: They get out of the party and immediately text/tweet their thoughts instead of just letting it marinate.

[BadCat25]

Have great conversation skills or be gorgeous.

[elizey7]

Originally Posted by sceniczip

this is probably some of the best advice I've heard! I can't tell you how many times I've asked questions and had a girl give a one word reply even if it's a question that should have had a much longer reply!

Also make sure not to use the typical words like nice and fun when answering questions because those don't tell the sisters much!

When asked why I want to join the sorority, could I say something like this?:

I see a lot of great leadership opportunities that can come from being in a sorority. Additionally, I really admire and aspire to be a part of a strong sisterly bond like yours.

If these are not good or need to be improved in any way, please let me know with examples.

[KSUViolet06]

I think the second phrase sounds a little extra and rehearsed.

You want to answer the question without sounding rehearsed and like you have been practicing that response all day.

You know how the Miss USA candidates sound when answering the interview question? You don't want to give an answer that sounds like that.

[carnation]

Bringing this worthy thread to the top again!

[NYCMS]

Originally Posted by elizey7

When asked why I want to join the sorority, could I say something like this?:

I see a lot of great leadership opportunities that can come from being in a sorority. Additionally, I really admire and aspire to be a part of a strong sisterly bond like yours.

If these are not good or need to be improved in any way, please let me know with examples.

You can find leadership opportunities in all campus organizations so I think this and the other statement both sound generic.

If I were talking to you in person and asked you why you want to be part of a sorority, what would you say? I suspect you'd say something personal which then communicates real-ness.

For me it had to do with seeing the lasting friendships and fun that my aunt has had from being in a sorority and hearing her stories of when she was an active (and even as an alum) - I wanted that. I was able to say something like that - without disclosing her sorority - when I rushed and then that often opened the door to an active saying "oh my aunt (or mom or sister) was in a sorority too which is why I wanted to be part of one too." You gotta make it real, even though what I said could be generic, it was authentic since it was about my aunt and her influence on me to go through rush.

[Cookiez17]

Gonna bump since spring recruitment is coming.

[funinthesun]

I have a daughter who is only a sophomore in HS. She has the 4.0 GPA, tons of community service hours already, and I know I have mom goggles on, but she is a very pretty girl. And I think she will do terrible in recruitment... She is quite shy. She speaks softly and quietly, and she gets nervous and self conscious in big groups. She has a heart of gold, is an excellent friend and listener, lots of fun and witty once you get to know her. I want to help her now. NOT because of recruitment, but I think overcoming this kind of shyness will help in general. Any advice would be appreciated.

[carnation]

This is what happened to 2 of mine. They had top activities and the whole bit but they were shy around total strangers. I did make them rehearse practice conversations before they left for recruitment.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by carnation

This is what happened to 2 of mine. They had top activities and the whole bit but they were shy around total strangers. I did make them rehearse practice conversations before they left for recruitment.

Shy girls are total gems in the rough if you can pull them out of the shell or see their potential but usually there is not enough time.

[NYCMS]

Originally Posted by funinthesun

I want to help her now. NOT because of recruitment, but I think overcoming this kind of shyness will help in general. Any advice would be appreciated.

I've read several people give the following advice to those who are on the shy side:

Practice talking to strangers. In line at Starbucks or at school. Volunteer (she already be) in a place where you get to be in a "client facing" position - talking with the donors, or the people the charity is helping. Those are good places to practice and get more comfortable with talking to strangers.

I'd also have her do anything that will help push her out of her comfort zone - anything. As people break through comfort zones, they usually develop more confidence in other areas.

Good luck to her.