Sorors, SFs, One & All - Page 4

Salience · #46 01-26-2002, 09:44 PM

Hello, SFs!

It's been more than a minute, because I'm prepping for my comprehensive exams. But I just HAD to reply to this timely thread!

Bitterness is a natural feeling, as is anger. Vent. By all means, VENT! You are entitled to your feelings, they should not be invalidated.

Just don't sink into it as a bad habit. That's when you start "hatin on folks" and it brings YOU down, not them! They could care less about (y)our hurt feelings, and may revel in them, if they have some insecurities of their own.

I was rejected in college, and when ladies say they don't know why, perhaps they REALLY don't know why. I don't, seven years later. And that's okay to express, as well. It isn't always the prospective's fault, let's be honest.

So, if you aren't bitter or depressed, etc., then fine! Great! But if you are, feel it, express it healthily, then bring yourself back up. It's hard. I know it is. I know. But you can do it. I did it.

Now, no I am not a member. I graduated with honors, am in grad school, do my public service, and whatever else needs doing. I am also in OES, so I consider myself a well-rounded individual. All I can do is keep on keeping on and wait. And so I do.

Virtual Violet · #47 01-26-2002, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
Hello Everyone,
It is that time of the year again. Some prospectives are getting acceptance letters and others are being rejected.

I have some questions for ALL BGLO sorority members. Did YOU join your sorority through a collegiate or alumnae chapter?

For those who joined via the ALUMNAE chapter,
A. Did you apply for membership during your college years?
B. While waiting for the chance to join, what did you do in the meantime?
C. While others around you were becoming members, how did you stay focused on the mission of joining the sisterhood that you felt lead to pursue?

To ALL BGLO Sorority members, what advice would you give those who were not chosen this year for membership?

For my SFs who are waiting/hoping to become a member what are you doing to keep your interests and to increase your attractiveness?

My Words of Encouragement:
1. Sometimes a DENIAL is a DELAY.
2. Ecclesiastes 3:1 -- There is a time for EVERYTHING, and a season for EVERY ACTIVITY under heaven.

A. Yes, I applied my senior year, spring semester. My roommate was in the chapter at the time, and I was looking forward to my limited time in the chapter...however it didn't happen...I wasn't accepted. It hurt, (only for a minute

---I still had love for those girls! ) but, I knew I still wanted to be a Delta. So, I sucked it up, supported the campus programs, as always, and looked towards an alumnae chapter after graduation.

It was the collegiate chapter that set the example for what I wanted out of a sorority...and I KNEW that I wanted to be a DELTA, PERIOD.

As for what I did the the meantime, I was lucky enough to be accepted at the alumnae level the spring following my graduation, so I didn't have to wait long. Anyway, I fine tuned my public service, and did what all other college grads did, FIND A JOB!!!

I stayed focused because I knew what I wanted to do, and I just found a way to do it. There was plenty of opportunity to join other Greek or Greek-like groups campus, but that wasn't what I wanted. So even though Delta "escaped" me on the college level, I wouldn't have settled for anything else.

Ironically, I was part of a "mixed" line that included charter members of a collegiate chapter, so I got the opportunity to have a "collegiate" experience with my college "ships" after we crossed. I wouldn't have traded my experience for anything.

My advice would be, follow your heart, and be patient. If you truly have it "in your heart" for the org you seek, then rejection should not change your mind. Just look at improving your credentials and try again, even if it means you have to wait for years. If it is meant for you, it will happen! Good Luck!

DableST_1 · #48 01-29-2002, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Virtual Violet

A. Yes, I applied my senior year, spring semester. My roommate was in the chapter at the time, and I was looking forward to my limited time in the chapter...however it didn't happen...I wasn't accepted. It hurt, (only for a minute ---I still had love for those girls! ) but, I knew I still wanted to be a Delta. So, I sucked it up, supported the campus programs, as always, and looked towards an alumnae chapter after graduation.

It was the collegiate chapter that set the example for what I wanted out of a sorority...and I KNEW that I wanted to be a DELTA, PERIOD.

As for what I did the the meantime, I was lucky enough to be accepted at the alumnae level the spring following my graduation, so I didn't have to wait long. Anyway, I fine tuned my public service, and did what all other college grads did, FIND A JOB!!!

I stayed focused because I knew what I wanted to do, and I just found a way to do it. There was plenty of opportunity to join other Greek or Greek-like groups campus, but that wasn't what I wanted. So even though Delta "escaped" me on the college level, I wouldn't have settled for anything else.

Ironically, I was part of a "mixed" line that included charter members of a collegiate chapter, so I got the opportunity to have a "collegiate" experience with my college "ships" after we crossed. I wouldn't have traded my experience for anything.

My advice would be, follow your heart, and be patient. If you truly have it "in your heart" for the org you seek, then rejection should not change your mind. Just look at improving your credentials and try again, even if it means you have to wait for years. If it is meant for you, it will happen! Good Luck!

See God does answers prayer!!! If first you don't succeed, pick yourself up and try again.

BTW: What collegiate chapter were you apart of soror???

Virtual Violet · #49 01-30-2002, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DableST_1

See God does answers prayer!!! If first you don't succeed, pick yourself up and try again.
BTW: What collegiate chapter were you apart of soror???

I wasn't in a collegiate chapter. My line sisters chartered Pi Omega chapter at Aurora University in Illinois.

Tenacious1922 · #50 02-09-2002, 11:42 AM

Hello Everyone,

When I became a soror of SGRho, I went in as an undergrad. But I had expressed interest a year before I was actually chosen to became a member. I had to wait that long, in part of my grades!!

(Hopefully my honesty will help others who wish to join a sorority) I left my freshman year with a terrible average, came back three years later to the university...with the same sorry average, but a whole new attitude about earning my degree! Anyway, to make a long story short, I did ALOT of RESEARCH before making my decision to go on my quest for Sigma. I found out what the requirements were; and made sure I went well beyond the minimum. I also talked to the advisors, and members so that I could get a feel for them as well and vise-versa. And what ever SGRho had going on, I was there, so that they knew my interest was FOR REAL!!

As far as advice, for those who wish to become a part of a sorority...I believe that you must really sit down with yourself and decide which one is for you! Please do not get caught up in the hype etc. (especially if you want to go undergrad). Greeks do more than just step. It is a WHOLE LOT of WORK being a PRODUCTIVE chapter member especially if you get in a position of leadership. You have to know when it is time to study and when it is time to party etc. Because it is so much bigger than just what you see, make sure you know what you are commiting to. Once you become a soror of a Black Greek org...that is it!! You can not go back and change your mind later on. Next, get and keep those grades up. I wish I could say SGRho helped me in employment..but actually my degree did that for me!!

Also don't just do your research on the net!

Talk to those on campus, go to the sororities' events..show your face and interest..let them get to know you. And when it is time to apply...have your stuff TOGETHER!! I mean grades, community service, rec. letters or what ever else is required. There is nothing worse than someone who claims to want to be a part of your sorority, but puts in little to no -effort to make it happen. And if you get rejected...pick up that lip and try again. And know that there are no guarantees even if you have the perfect GPA etc., that you are just a shoe-in for membership. I have known of people who had to try twice and more to get into the sorority of their choice, but they did it...because it was TRULY in their hearts. So I know it would hurt, but press on....

Tenacious1922

ChaosDST · #51 02-12-2002, 10:06 AM

I really enjoyed reading the posts. Sorors and Sisterfriends alike, have exibited true determination in reaching their goals. Most of us don't make it our first time(s) for various reasons. Our goal is NOT to just be in any sorority, but to be in the one that is dear to OUR hearts (whether it be DST, Zeta, SGRho, or AKA). What an inspirational way to start off my morning

phive2life · #52 02-12-2002, 12:58 PM

My MIP was undergrad and I wouldn't change it for the world. If you're not accepted the first time, re-evaluate yourself and try again. Don't be discouraged b'c I would rather you try again for the org that's in your heart instead of trying to get in the one that you think will easily accept you.

....Remember..........you must go through in order to get to!

ChaosDST · #53 02-12-2002, 05:54 PM

re-evaluate yourself and/or re-evaluate that particular chapter (you know how things are sometimes). I like the "you must go through in order to get to," go head!

Quote:

Originally posted by phive2life
My MIP was undergrad and I wouldn't change it for the world. If you're not accepted the first time, re-evaluate yourself and try again. Don't be discouraged b'c I would rather you try again for the org that's in your heart instead of trying to get in the one that you think will easily accept you.
....Remember..........you must go through in order to get to!

1Babygirl2000 · #54 02-13-2002, 07:08 PM

I became a member via an Alumnae Chapter. I chose to
do it this way, because changed my major my 2nd
semester of my Freshman year, and I knew that I would
be about a year behind because of the classes I had to
take. God made it possible for me to graduate on time
with my class. I could have joined undergrad, but I
felt that with my tight schedule, I could nit give the
time necessary to my school work or to Delta. So I
chose to wait. I also wanted to make 110% sure that a
Delta was truly what I wanted to be for the rest of my
life.

In the meantime, I kept up with my community service
activities and stayed involved in activities that were
going on in my area. I also kept doing my research
and reading any and everything I could get my hands
on. While others around me were becoming members, I
stayed focused by just saying to myself. If it is
meant to be God will handle it.

To those sisterfriends who are hoping to become a
member of ANY BLGO, I say to you keep your eye on the
prize. If becoming a memeber is truly in your heart
it will happen. Just continue the learning experience
and if it is meant to be, God will handle it.

CrimsonTide4 · #55 09-08-2002, 01:58 PM

Looks like that time of year is back upon us. Please read this thread and maybe it will help this fall's prospectives.

miss priss · #56 09-08-2002, 03:23 PM

This thread IS truly inspirational! I personally am having problems coping with the idea of MIP....let me explain...I come from a lonnnnnnng line of XYZ members and they are having a line in which I have been informally invited...everytime that the subject of MIP comes up I get fearful because it reminds me of the first MIP I attended..socially accepted, grades caused rejection.(I had the overall but not the semester G.P.A. and yes my overall was more than minimum)...I spent too much time on NOT being humble and focus on what was important....At the time I was bitter and angry plus hurt and confused...moreso at myself because I felt that I should have known better... recently I feel "pressured" because of the anticipation that my mom and other family members are EXPECTING me to do this.....Don't get me wrong I want to, it's just that I am nervous...to put it frankly I just fear the rejection....

JinglesSpr99 · #57 09-09-2002, 12:58 AM

Nice Topic!
I feel like I got the best of both worlds. I am a charter member of an undergraduate chapter. So we were pledged by the alumnae chapter. 8 members of my line were pledging the alumnae chapter. And 8 of us were for an undergrad chapter. So we ranged in age from 19 to 51! The 51 year old made tried before but Delta was in her heart and she felt the time was right to try again. All I can say is be you and if you really want it keep trying and have patients.

Krisco · #58 09-09-2002, 02:41 AM

Miss priss, the fear of rejection is a completely natural emotion. I too had that fear when my time came. But I did prevail, I was so happy because I'd been waiting for it seemed so long! Don't let your fears get in the way though, if you believe in yourself others will also. That belief is no guarantee of your acceptance, but it wil give you a sense of peace about the entire situation. And recognize that ALL humans get discouraged and rejected at various times in our lives. Take me for example, I wanted to be a cheerleader IN H.S. but I didn't make the squad, I tried out for the drill team and Made it, I met a great person in my life that I would have otherwise never truly known from that rejection. It was only God's way of intervening, humbling me and setting me up for his great blessing. When we get rejected, somtimes its our fault, sometimes its not. Don't worry if its not, just keep improving on what you do have, try again and let God be your guide on the mission. Whatever happens live a fun, fulfilling life, and when your head seems to drop and heart slowly sinks with it, find you an activity, a person, a goal to focus your attention on, the blues go away with the desire to see OTHERS excel and prosper.

miss priss · #59 09-09-2002, 10:09 AM

It seems so much easier said than done...I mean my family members are DIE HARD members of this org. They are so die hard that they have a special room and car dedicated to it. OFF Limits of course.

When they speak to you somehow, XYZ org. WILL come up. They went to the nationals this summer(yes they were delegates and one is a ug advisor) and brought back those cute MY MOM IS.....t-shirts. They always talk about "THE BOX"....and this all seems just to overwhelming....I just keep thinking if I don't make it I have disappointed them once again....
That L word prevents me too..... I have never wanted to mention it ...but somehow someway they always find out....I want to be known for me not "that's sisterfriends daughter" or "she THINKS she's in because she's so and so's child"...when I don't feel that way at all.

Love_Spell_6 · #60 09-09-2002, 09:21 PM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
[B]Hello Everyone,
It is that time of the year again. Some prospectives are getting acceptance letters and others are being rejected.

I have some questions for ALL BGLO sorority members. Did YOU join your sorority through a collegiate or alumnae chapter?

For those who joined via the ALUMNAE chapter,
A. Did you apply for membership during your college years?
B. While waiting for the chance to join, what did you do in the meantime?
C. While others around you were becoming members, how did you stay focused on the mission of joining the sisterhood that you felt lead to pursue?

I joined the sorority through an Alumnae chapter, and I would NEVER trade my experience for anything! I did not apply as a collegiate member, and in hindsight, I am glad that I did not. I have friends to this day that did not get accepted (through alumnae and undergrad chapters) , and they are still trying. They definitely do not want to be "T-Shirt" wearers, they want to work!!! I stayed focused because the process judges each individually. Although we all just knew we'd be crossing those sands together, it was not up to us. After many tears, and long times where we didn't talk, we still have our friendship and they don't have to worry about searching for an ACTIVE Delta to help them in their process!

If a prospective wants to be a part of Delta for the right reasons, they must continue trying no matter how many times they're rejected. A rejection is not going to deter a determined woman.

Just keep your goal in sight and know that there will be plenty of work to do in DST if and when you arrive!!! And let me stress that there is so much work to be done!!!