Rush - What to NOT do or say

[USChica06]

Originally posted by JohnsDGsweethrt
Welcome back USChica! We've miss you!

Why thank ya dahling!

[sbhill2]

I agree with most everything that has been said so far. I was told during recruiment on both sides not to talk about the 3 Bs: Boys, Boos and Bible...stay away from talking about guys, drinking and drugs along with religion. Also stay away from topics where you could get very defensive about your point of view as you want to be open to what the sisters have to say.
Good things to talk about are questions about that particular sorority, ask questions about the school and activities beyond Greek Life too.
Wear comfortable shoes too - no one is concerned with what you are wearing so just be comfortable but appropriate for that round. Your Pi Chi / Rho Chi should be able to tell you if something is appropriate to wear or not.

[meridionaleDG]

If someone asks on the third day "Do you remember talking to me?" just say yes.

On about the 3rd day, I was so tired and had so many names and faces running through my head, and a girl I had talked to on the 1st day ask me that. I didn't think about it and just automatically said "no, I don't think so!" I wasn't trying to be mean, I didn't mean to say it. But anyone who has been through recruitment knows that after you meet a bunch of different sorority girls, by the end of the week everything becomes cluttered.

I felt awful about it, and unfortuantly I was cut the next day. I don't really blame them. My feelings would have been hurt if I was that girl.

Ah well.

[MTSUGURL]

Something I do when it is important that I remember names of people I meet after activities: (I work with freshmen and transfers for another campus org, and I meet LOTS of people)
As soon as you can, write the person's name, one thing that you talked about, and a couple of physical characteristics (long curly blond hair, freckles). This usually helps me. I hope I have time to do this during rush...

[adpiucf]

DO be polite and courteous. You are a guest in their house.

DO find something in common with the person you are talking to.

DO find time to learn about the person you are talking to and her sorority, and DO make sure to toot your own horn so she knows all about your 4.0 GPA, the time you met Justin Timberlake, your major/hometown, and your community service experiences. Ok, maybe she won't care about your casual run-in with Justin. And maybe some GC'ers are rolling their eyes-- but the point is-- every PM coming in has a high GPA, community service, looks her best and wants to join-- what is YOUR narrative hook? Did you dance for royalty, travel the world, found a student organization or cure cancer? There is something memorable wonderful and special about you-- your mom has been telling you for years how great you are-- believe it! Give the sororities a (true) story so they remember who you are--- there are a million Jennifers and Amys going through recruitment. But I am sure there is only one Amy at your school who was captain of a nationally ranked FILL IN THE BLANK group who won FILL IN THE BLANK.

DO remember: You are rushing to make friends--- if the conversation is dull and you are really reaching... well, it's no skin off your back to cut or be cut-- you are saving yourself from 4 years of having nothing in common with your collegiate chapter (and by then you'll be too resentful to want to enjoy the benefits of alumnae membership!)

DON'T Rush to join the "top house," whatever that means. Rush to make friends!!! When you click with a chapter, you will know it is meant to be. And a chapter is only as strong as the friendships and cooperation of its members-- so when your recruitment counselor tells you to follow your heart in selecting your bid, it isn't a canned answer at all!

Good luck to all of our PM's!

[MSKKG]

Originally posted by adpiucf
DO be polite and courteous. You are a guest in their house.

DO find something in common with the person you are talking to.

DO find time to learn about the person you are talking to and her sorority, and DO make sure to toot your own horn so she knows all about your 4.0 GPA, the time you met Justin Timberlake, your major/hometown, and your community service experiences. Ok, maybe she won't care about your casual run-in with Justin. And maybe some GC'ers are rolling their eyes-- but the point is-- every PM coming in has a high GPA, community service, looks her best and wants to join-- what is YOUR narrative hook? Did you dance for royalty, travel the world, found a student organization or cure cancer? There is something memorable wonderful and special about you-- your mom has been telling you for years how great you are-- believe it! Give the sororities a (true) story so they remember who you are--- there are a million Jennifers and Amys going through recruitment. But I am sure there is only one Amy at your school who was captain of a nationally ranked FILL IN THE BLANK group who won FILL IN THE BLANK.

DO remember: You are rushing to make friends--- if the conversation is dull and you are really reaching... well, it's no skin off your back to cut or be cut-- you are saving yourself from 4 years of having nothing in common with your collegiate chapter (and by then you'll be too resentful to want to enjoy the benefits of alumnae membership!)

DON'T Rush to join the "top house," whatever that means. Rush to make friends!!! When you click with a chapter, you will know it is meant to be. And a chapter is only as strong as the friendships and cooperation of its members-- so when your recruitment counselor tells you to follow your heart in selecting your bid, it isn't a canned answer at all!

Good luck to all of our PM's!

Standing ovation!!! Excellent post with timeless suggestions.

meridionaleDG, shame on that active who put you on the spot!

[momoftwo]

Reading through this thread, I've noticed lots of advice to stay away from talk about drinking during recruitment. My daughter and I were talking about the drinking aspect of sorority life last night. She's a pretty, bright, well-rounded kid (but I'm biased) who, up until now has had no interest in drinking. However, there are a lot of aspects of Greek Life that appeal to her. She doesn't want to end up in a house where she'll feel like an outcast because she doesn't drink. How would you all suggest she approach figuring out whether or not this would be the case? I've suggested she bring the question up with her Recruitment Advisor. Did anyone here have similar concerns?

(She's going to a large state school that doesn't have a reputation as a real party school. My understanding is that, while some girls don't get bids, sorority recruitment at this school is not really cut throat.)

[DZHBrown]

momoftwo: While you'll find many people in Greek Life drink, you'll also find that many don't. My chapter had quite a few girls who didn't do the whole party scene, didn't drink at all or didn't drink much, etc. and there's not a problem with that! At least there wasn't in my sorority. I would think that her sisters would respect her decision and respect her enough as a sister to not make her feel like an outcast.

[justamom]

Originally posted by MSKKG
Standing ovation!!! Excellent post with timeless suggestions.

meridionaleDG, shame on that active who put you on the spot!

MSKKG! I agree, GREAT post, adpiucf! I really like how you summed it up-
"DON'T Rush to join the "top house," whatever that means. Rush to make friends!!! When you click with a chapter, you will know it is meant to be. And a chapter is only as strong as the friendships and cooperation of its members-- so when your recruitment counselor tells you to follow your heart in selecting your bid, it isn't a canned answer at all!

Good luck to all of our PM's!"

[carnation]

Originally posted by momoftwo
Reading through this thread, I've noticed lots of advice to stay away from talk about drinking during recruitment. My daughter and I were talking about the drinking aspect of sorority life last night. She's a pretty, bright, well-rounded kid (but I'm biased) who, up until now has had no interest in drinking. However, there are a lot of aspects of Greek Life that appeal to her. She doesn't want to end up in a house where she'll feel like an outcast because she doesn't drink. How would you all suggest she approach figuring out whether or not this would be the case? I've suggested she bring the question up with her Recruitment Advisor. Did anyone here have similar concerns?

Momoftwo, I have dealt with this too. My oldest was terrified of feeling like an outcast since she doesn't drink either. Luckily, she hasn't felt like one yet and she's now a college senior.

BlazerCheer doesn't drink either and hopes to find a sorority home where no one will be mean enough to give her grief because she doesn't. We finally decided that she shouldn't bring it up because during rush, members aren't going to admit that they drink or bother people who don't.

One alum told me that she figured out where drinking wasn't a big deal by looking at the various groups' party pictures. That's a good idea--most GLOS' scrapbooks and displays practically advertise how they have fun.

So...about the best my husband and I can do is train our daughters to be tough about resisting peer pressure. Whether or not they go Greek, there will always be other college students who will try to get them to drink.

[MTSUGURL]

adpiucf, justamom, carnation, and all the other alum here - you gals are awesome! Keep the advice coming!

Same top all of you wonderful actives who are helping us PNMs prepare. You are all wonderful representatives of your orgs!

[jharb]

The best advice I got during recruitment was to appear interested in what each girl is saying and to smile and get excited over skits. Also make sure to show emotion when it's appropriate! Don't be fake but when you're at party #5 out of 6 you will be tired and you might not appear to be enjoying things as much as you actually are. Be genuine and sincere with feelings, especially since you might be crying on pref night (I was as a PNM!).

The girls in each chapter have put a lot of work into their skits and just recruitment in general and even if they aren't 100% awesome you should still act like you are interested. It takes a lot of guts to get up and sing and dance for hundreds of girls that you don't know!

Jess

[adpiucf]

To our PNMS,

I love coming on GC and reading through the posts. The Recruitment Forum is definintely of interest to me, because our new members are the life blood of our organizations: you!

Some things to keep in mind-- you can severely analyze the recruitment process to death, but when it comes down to it: this is a mutual selection process. Just as every sorority has their mathetmatical/scientific/slightly qualitative nonbiased method of selection, every PNM has her own method for determining if she likes a sorority. Maybe it's the friendly faces who greet you as you enter the party, or their impressive awards, the fraternity socials they have to offer, maybe its their high GPA, their philantrhopy, their colors or you are attracted to the "status." (!) Whatever the reason, you have your own methods when you choose the houses, too.

Keep in mind: the women on "the other side"-- those sorority sisters-- they are SOOOO nervous! Yes! In some cases, more nervous than you. They have their off-days (I'll never forget a woman from my chapter introducing herself to a PNM as, "Hi I'm Brie-- you, know, like the cheese!" You get the picture!) All summer, the sorority women are pouring over your recruitment applications, trying to get an idea of who is coming through. Some of us meet someone and develop a "rush crush," and believe me, if you cut their chapter or you are cut from their chapter, they are devastated. They cry.
They are just as stressed as you. I just want you to know that NO ONE has an upper hand in this process-- so don't feel anyone has an advantage over you.

There are some great books out there, some really old ones, too (LOL)-- about sorority/fraternity recruitment, the art of interviewing, the art of conversation, etc. Of course it is helpful to read those, just as it is helpful to read these boards, talk to your campus Greek Life office, and review the websites or literature available regarding the GLO's on your campus.

Recruitment is a lot like business networking and interviewing for a job. You meet tons of people, shake hands and mutually, you must decide if this is the right place for you.

First impressions DO count. It's not a matter of being superficial. You should strive all your life to be something better than who you are today. You don't have to be a pencil-thin blonde beauty queen who has worked overseas in pursuit of world peace. But looking your personal best, listening and asking thoughtful questions, finding a common bond with the person you are speaking to and tooting your own accomplishments will get you far, both in recruitment and in life.

One thing you should not compromise or change: who you really are. I do say be your personal best, but don't be anyone but yourself. Doing anything less is only cheating yourself. If the formal recruitment process is not something that you feel is working for you, informal recruitments are just around the corner. If you get cut from a house you like, its not the end of the world. And as we say in Greek Life, "Everything happens for a reason." I like to reference one of my best friends, who went through a sorority colonization, hoping to be a founding sister of XYZ. She got cut right before their preference ceremony and was so upset. The following fall, however, she decided, she really wanted to try fall recruitment... she ended up getting a bid to XYZ and became a member of their very first new member class!

Everything works out in the end. So have faith in yourself, and faith in the Greek System. We at GC are all rooting for your to find your home as a Panhellenic Sister We can't wait to see what lies in store! So remember, and I can't say this enough-- be true to yourself. Your "Sisters" will see this.

[momoftwo]

Originally posted by carnation
Momoftwo, I have dealt with this too. My oldest was terrified of feeling like an outcast since she doesn't drink either. Luckily, she hasn't felt like one yet and she's now a college senior.

BlazerCheer doesn't drink either and hopes to find a sorority home where no one will be mean enough to give her grief because she doesn't. We finally decided that she shouldn't bring it up because during rush, members aren't going to admit that they drink or bother people who don't.

One alum told me that she figured out where drinking wasn't a big deal by looking at the various groups' party pictures. That's a good idea--most GLOS' scrapbooks and displays practically advertise how they have fun.

So...about the best my husband and I can do is train our daughters to be tough about resisting peer pressure. Whether or not they go Greek, there will always be other college students who will try to get them to drink.

Thanks for the advice, and the personal experience.

I think concern over fitting in is my daughter's biggest fear about going away to school. We moved when she was in fourth grade and she was miserable for almost a year until she clicked with some girls who are still her close friends. She was kind of shy in unfamiliar situations--and is pretty bright--so her new classmates thought she was "stuck up" about being smart. She's really a very down to earth person. Fourth and fifth graders are so kind and understanding! It's funny how those painful moments of our lives come back...

I keep telling her to be herself and she'll be fine. Thanks for confirming that for me!

[adpiucf]

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