A Mad Men re-rushing story

[SC2013]

I'm SO SORRY! I've been bogged down with homework the first week back from break. Without further ado (again, sorry):

I got all dolled up for Pref and headed out. I was probably on the dressier end of what the other girls were wearing, which was surprising, but again I had absolutely no idea what to expect for Pref.

-Peggy Olson-My first house. I didn't recognize anyone outside. To be honest, tons of girls just looked pissed to be there. I, personally, was just a little surprised and apprehensive. I also hoped my friend would Pref me or something.
The girls filed out onto the lawn and lined the walkway up the house. Each girl was holding a flower. One by one, a girl say, "I would like to invite _________ to join us for brunch," (or something along those lines) hand her a flower and walk into the house.
A girl I'd never seen before called my name. We went into the house and I think she stood up to go somewhere for a second because I remember around this time my friend came up and whispered to me, "Yeah...I guess it didn't work out" in reference to trying to get me dropped. I had no idea what that meant--did everybody just really like me or something?--but now I'm thinking maybe they had to invite a certain number of girls back, and most girls had already dropped them?
The girls in the house all stood up behind the chairs and sang a song. I remember looking around the room and wondering if I was supposed to cry at this point. Some girls went up to the podium and shared how they felt about the sisterhood. I think they said things about how they felt comfortable and could share their experiences with the other girls and things like that.
Then we went into the next room to have brunch. I couldn't think of things to say, so I told her I was really tired, because at that point of rush week I think I was.
Then the bell rang and we were all ushered out. I remembered wondering if this is what Pref was supposed to be like.

-Joan Holloway- I remember the girl I'd met at Slideshow Day--who I adored and could imagine being my big--announce a girl in front of me. The next girl to step forward to announce a girl was the girl I'd met at House Tours and almost overran the party time with. She smiled and called my name.
It felt so surreal as we entered the house. She asked me what other house I'd been to. I told her Peggy but didn't want to say anything like "but I only want your house" because I figured that would be rude. We chatted for a bit about the Joan senior house she lives at not far from my housing apartment, and then some girls went up to talk about the house. I found both of the stories really heartfelt and hilarious. I hadn't been entirely sure if most sororities were right for me, but I knew despite the fact that my guy friends discouraged me, said "you can party without being in a sorority, why would you rush?" I'd wanted to rush because I wanted a group of girls I could bond with, spend time with, and another home.
Then the ceremony happened. I forgot who or what happened exactly, but I remember a girl tripping up over her words and laughing and the other girls in the house laughing along with her. I was laughing too...and I realized that Pref didn't have to be about being sappy and crying, but that it was about supporting your sisters...even with laughter. I guess that fits with my style, because I'm pretty goofy and not very solemn about tradition, and that was the vibe they gave off...that they were serious about their house, and about their sisterhood, but not necessarily about themselves. The ceremony ended, I was really drained by this point, and I did start to run out of things to say with my girl, but she hugged me at the door and that was that.

I was overwhelmed. I loved the ceremony. But I was also scared. It was down to the house I'd had a good hunch about even before rush, and then discovered I really liked during each round.

The girls at the party and I walked back to the library, where we would be ordering our Preferences. There was a bunch of girls I was walking back with who had also gone to the much sought after Midge Daniels. Another girl asked one, "what did you think?" And she had a look on her face..."Well, I'll take what I can get." It seemed like most girls wanted Midge, but they would list Joan second on their list because it was "still a respectable choice," plus as the Panhellenic girls had made sure we understood, listing two houses gave you a better chance at your first one.

This left me at a quandary. I wasn't down with Peggy. If I had been "able" to get dropped, I would've been a shoe-in for Joan. We're guaranteed bids if we go to Pref, and if you only go to one house...well then, you're set. BUT, most girls get their first house anyways, so I decided to follow Panhellenic directions and not drop Peggy. Besides, it seemed like most girls didn't want Joan anyways. Their loss!

I went in and signed my preferences:
1. Joan
2. Peggy
and left with a huge raincloud over my head.

One of my roommates, the one that went to Pref for Trudy Campbell, found out halfway through rush that since she had received a bid from Peggy Olson last year and didn't go to bid night, didn't have to attend Peggy parties during rush. So she was basically good to go with Trudy.

My best friend had been invited back to Trudy and Jane Sterling. She wasn't sure which one to pick. She didn't care for either at the beginning of rush (she wanted Midge Daniels, and like it seems with everyone, if she didn't "get" Midge she would settle for Joan, but that didn't work out either). She could see herself showing up to Trudy with sweats and hanging out, but she could see herself going out with Jane. Her family and relatives were really enthusiastic about her rushing, so she called a family friend who had Greek alumni at our school. They enthusiastically told her to pick Jane because she is "higher ranked." She was very unexcited for both but ranked Jane first, along with our friend in my rush group who had helped me get excited to visit our friends in Bobbie Barrett.

My roommate went to Trudy and Dr. Faye Miller. She was very open minded and sweet about the entire rush process but had like Dr. Faye from the start, and chose that as her first pick. (Angelic RA is also a Dr. Faye, for the record!)

Looks like if we all got our first choices...we'd be happy (or "higher ranked"?). But would we?

[victoriana]

Oh my gawd. You CAN'T leave it there!!! Your story is too good

[BraveMaroon]

You're killing me...I need closure!

[Regina.George]

Just finish it already!

[southbymidwest]

OK, I quit. I'm flouncing outa here. Tired of reading recruitment stories that drag on and never have an ending. But that's just me. Please finish it SOON for the others who have enjoyed and care about your recruitment.

[SC2013]

Originally Posted by southbymidwest

OK, I quit. I'm flouncing outa here. Tired of reading recruitment stories that drag on and never have an ending. But that's just me. Please finish it SOON for the others who have enjoyed and care about your recruitment.

Forgive me for holding off on the last post for so long, it's just I know this would be my longest post...

My rush group is, of course, unbearably anxious. Rachel Menken texts the hard-rushed legacy girl in my group, SO EXCITED that she's a Rachel Menken now (I guess they didn't know we were still waiting for the RC's?). So that's all well and good for her.

Finally, the RCs come out. We're dyyying!

One by one, we get our bid cards. Girls in front of me are screaming, jumping up and down!

Girls start running to the groups of sorority girls waiting with balloons and signs, welcoming them home.

It's almost my turn. The girl in front of me asks me about my houses and I tell her how nervous I am. She says I'll be fine, gets her bid card and starts screaming, jumping up and down.

It's my turn. There's a look in my two RC's eyes. Is that good?
Angelic RC hands me my bid card.

She squeezes me tight. "Congrats!"

I can't breathe, what did I get?

Peggy Olson.

Well.

All the other Midge Daniels fans, force smiles and walks to join the Joans anxiously awaiting them.

My best friend gets Jane Sterling. My friend in my rush group who helped me get excited for Bobbie Barret gets Jane Sterling. Her roommate, of course, gets Trudy Campbell. My roommate gets Dr. Faye Miller. Maybe it's the social circles I run in, but I have yet to meet anybody who didn't get their first choice, besides the girls who wanted Midge and got Joan.

My apartment finds each other in the midst of the screaming sea of girls. best friend's roommate hugs me. "I'm sorry, I know what it's like, that happened to me last year," she said, who had gone to pref with Trudy Campbell last year and finally was in her house.

They all went off to their house groups. I was left with a choice.

I made the choice that probably isn't popular on Greek Chat, I chose to not be Greek rather than give the house who gave me a bid a chance. Today I'm still a little unsure if I made the right decision, but I didn't go to bid night. I don't necessarily regret not going to Peggy Olson; looking at the pledge class, I don't recognize anyone, while I know tons of girls particularly in Joan Holloway and Jane Sterling--which doesn't necessarily mean much, but still means something.

But they gave me a bid! you say. They wanted me.

Maybe they did....but to be honest, that bid night...I didn't think so. I still don't think they really wanted me, because I was guaranteed a bid.

Apparently Peggy Olson had a much stronger rush this year than they had in previous years. And now I wish them the best. I have and do root for them to do well, especially in light of the ranking-crazy girls who, sometimes like in the case of my best friend (no harm meant), do get their way. But after Pref I didn't feel a thing. I felt like they had given me a bid because computers said that they should.

I wish I hadn't put them as my #2, but Panhellenic was so adamant on listing both houses that invited you to Pref. And I had believed that I would have been given a better chance at getting my first house, like so many other girls did, if I had been "run through the computer more times to get a bid."

I'm not saying I was #1 on Joan's first bid list or anything, but Joan had taken me to Pref. And I had felt a connection, I had met a girl I would have wanted to be my big. They can still cut girls on Pref by putting them on the very very last end of their lists, I understand that.

Funny thing is, apparently Bobbie Barret had to give snap bids. Again, there are many what ifs, but if I hadn't listen a second house on my preference list, I could have been eligible for that. Or for COB in the spring, in which yes, I would have been open to visiting Peggy to see if I could find a connection. But after Pref I had not felt a connection and would have not been comfortable going to bid night.

So there you have it. I am not in a Panhellenic sorority, despite being so close. It's tough because I found a house I was really in love with, they invited me to Pref, and then I got a bid from a house I had listed last each round. Maybe they did drop me after, I don't know why, but maybe they did. And I can't dwell on it.

Do I still want to be in a sorority? Kind of. I understand and love the values that they stand for. But I can't rush for a whole year, and at my school juniors are hardly ever taken during formal recruitment unless they're transfers.

But there are lots of things I learned just from my rush experience, which I would love to put in a separate post for future PNMs, about the rush experience itself and what I learned. I learned so much about myself, about facing rejection, about seeing beyond stereotypes and also how to find other ways to keep the goals that I set for myself. I do feel like I would have learned a great deal from being in a sorority, by going through recruitment on the other side and everything, but that's that.

Did I behave immaturely by not going to bid night, or was I justified in feeling like I had been guaranteed a bid to a house I didn't feel a connection with? Thoughts? Any other GDI's go through the same thing as me?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by SC2013

Did I behave immaturely by not going to bid night, or was I justified in feeling like I had been guaranteed a bid to a house I didn't feel a connection with? Thoughts?

Do you really want GCers to answer this? Are you trying to second guess yourself?

All we know about your place on Joan's list is that it was not high enough. However, if it makes you feel better, they would have been excited to have you as a sister, since it is possible that any PNM on a chapter's list can match.

Did you behave immaturely? I wouldnt say immature, since this is pretty common behavior for 18-19 year olds. Though not immature, I would say it was ill-advised.

Did you feel "tricked" or "forced" into ranking Peggy? Of course, Panhellenic wants every PNM to maximize her options so they can place every PNM and every chapter makes quota. The whole "ranking your second choice helps you get your first choice" is technically true in some cases, but misleading. Maximizing makes you eligible to be a quota addition, which means that you're more likely to get your first choice if you're too low on BOTH lists. Though, I am assuming that Peggy didn't make quota, so being a Joan QA wouldn't happen. I don't like to see PNMs rank chapters where they would just decline on the spot. It only inflates quota and creates false hope for chapters who matched quota, but only have a fraction of those show up on bid day.

I do think you should have gone to bid day. When you're bound for a year (and especially since you're a sophomore and it's your last decent shot at going Greek), why not try to find your place in that chapter? It doesn't matter if you decline on bid day or if you drop out right before initiation, you're still bound until Fall '11.

I am confused as to why you didn't go to bid day since you said you would have been open to visiting Peggy again via COB or spring informal recruitment....you could have actually experienced the chapter as a new member instead of in a recruitment setting and that could have made all the difference in the world.

Despite not giving Peggy another chance, I am glad that you moved on and found your niche.

[victoriana]

I really enjoyed reading your story, and I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I'm happy that you've found your niche in a business fraternity, though! I had a friend who got into the sorority of her choice at a school with a very prominent Greek system, and she ended dropping out and joining a business fraternity instead. She says it's the best decision she's ever made.

[KSUViolet06]

Just a note here: guaranteed placement guarantees that you will receive a bid to ONE of the chapters you Pref.

It does not mean you're guaranteed a bid to your #1 choice.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by SC2013

Maybe they did....but to be honest, that bid night...I didn't think so. I still don't think they really wanted me, because I was guaranteed a bid.

What with quotas and everything, I'm sure that group of girls that wanted literally the most wanted house (or at least #2 I'm sure) on campus ended up with the house that I had wanted because they were guaranteed a bid. And the house that I had become less and less attached to offered me a bid probably because many girls dropped them, and Panhellenic matches girls to get the maximum amount of girls to each house.

No no no no no. That's not how it works.

You did not get "shoved out" of Joan because there were girls who didn't get Rachel or Trudy or whoever. I think the way your Rho Chi told you was a little misleading. She should have said: if you are INVITED BACK by only one house, you are assured of a bid to that house. The way you put it makes it sound like she was saying "well if you would have blown off going to Peggy, Joan would have offered you a bid." That's not how it works. That would have gotten you kicked out of rush with no chance of any bid to anything.

Also, you were not high up enough on Joan's bid list to be a QA, which as vp said you would have been eligible for ONLY by putting down both groups. Basically you put down Peggy not because you could ever see yourself there, but because you thought it would help you get Joan.

I definitely think you made the correct choice in declining your bid.

[ellebud]

I'm sorry that things didn't work out the way you wanted. I hope that you stay here and give your insights to future pnms at your school. And I REALLY hope that the rest of your college career is fantastic.

[Low C Sharp]

Bobbie Barret had to give snap bids. Again, there are many what ifs, but if I hadn't listen a second house on my preference list, I could have been eligible for that.

I thought that ISPs weren't eligible for snap bids.
________

[Xylochick216]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

I thought that ISPs weren't eligible for snap bids.

If my memory is correct (it's been a few years since I worked in Greek Life) ISPs aren't eligible for quota additions, but they are for snap bids.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Xylochick216

If my memory is correct (it's been a few years since I worked in Greek Life) ISPs aren't eligible for quota additions, but they are for snap bids.

I think you are correct. A snap bid is really a COB, just given out right away.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Also, you were not high up enough on Joan's bid list to be a QA, which as vp said you would have been eligible for ONLY by putting down both groups.

Where she was on Joan's list doesn't matter quite so much as the fate of the PNM's #2 chapter. It is possible that the last girl on Joan's list could be matched as a QA, but her other chapter would have also had to have made quota. In order to be a QA, you have to maximize, AND be too low on BOTH of your chapters' lists to be matched during "regular matching" (strictly to quota). If Peggy made quota before getting to SC2013's name, THEN she would have another shot at getting Joan, as a QA. If Peggy didn't make quota, then of course SC2013 is matched with Peggy.

However, correct me if I am wrong, there are several factors that go into determining where the QAs go, one of which is current chapter size, so even if Peggy did make quota, SC2013 could have gotten Peggy as a QA, since Peggy is a smaller chapter than Joan.