"You'll end up where you were meant to"... - Page 4

Peaches-n-Cream · #46 01-29-2002, 02:00 AM

First of all, I loved my sorority experience. I found a home away from home where I made friends, had fun, and developed leadership skills. I joined one of the smallest sororities in the country and on my campus. Unfortunately for some reason small in size equals weak. Meanwhile back in high school, small meant elite. While I was active, we never made quota or total and were about half the size of the larger sororities. From my perspective, we had a small number of extremely active, enthusiastic, and involved sisters who cared about our sorority and liked each other. Of course, low numbers at formal rush were disappointing to us, but we maintained our membership and slowly grew. When it came to greek-wide events, we had the same number of sisters attending as other sororities even though they were twice our size.

aggieAXO · #47 01-29-2002, 04:17 AM

I just have to say that I am soooo glad A&M does not have homecoming and that we don't have cheerleaders-thus no bickering or pressure among the sororities to fill a certain number of cheerleading spots or run for homecoming queen etc...

We had yell leaders-hot guys in uniforms from the corp of cadets my cousin is a yell leader rt. now.

justamom · #48 01-29-2002, 02:18 PM

KilarneyRoseI've read in some posts that at some of the more competitive rush schools, the PNMs come into rush already having visited the campus and making a point of getting to know sorority members. Do you all think this is a bad thing?

This is exactly what MANY do from our town. I would think it would give an edge, but still, if they didn't like you, you wouldn't be offered a bid no matter HOW many times you visited. Some of the girls who did visit before hand still got cut.

One girl I mentioned during Tiger Days visited LSU and when she saw that it was a duplication of her HS, she decided to go to another school. It has been mentioned on this thread and others that girls often want a chance to recreate themselves,maybe NEED to recreate themselves. When you know a fair amount of members, you may be stuck in your HS niche. That can work against you as easily as it can work for you.

If this posted twice, I deleat one!

ErikaXO · #49 01-29-2002, 07:47 PM

Killarney--yes, you remembered correctly. I grew up right near my campus and spent many years at KSU with my mom when she was a student. I did some "investigating" before I started my freshman year and I went into rush knowing that I was only interested in 3 of the 7 sororities. I don't think that there is anything wrong with this.....as long as you get accurate info. I was lucky in that the things that I heard prior to starting school were pretty close to the truth, plus I had seen a lot of the members walking around in their letters and had gotten to make casual acquaintances from both the Kent and Akron sororities over the years.

My only problem with the way NPC rush is handled is that all of the restrictions make it very difficult for the chapters and rushees to see and know each other well enough to make an educated choice. I feel that if things were more relaxed and girls were able to approach the chapters they were interested in everyone would come to the rush parties and selection sessions much better equipped to make decisions. Could this offer an advantage to the more outgoing rushees? Sure. But that's real life. If you want something you have to take your opportunities and make the most of them. The whole sorority experience is supposed to help prepare you for life, and part of that is learning to overcome your shyness. Could this offer an advantage to the more "popular" chapters? Possibly, in that a lot of rushee effort and attention would most likely be aimed towards those chapters over others. But the "popular" chapters would still be restricted to the same quota as all the others, and just because more girls are interested in them does not mean that they would be interested in all of those girls.

I thought it was difficult enough to be realistic and cut through the red tape of my own chapter's rush rules and selection process. I am sure that most of the other NPC groups use a similar procedure, and it doesn't need to be made more restrictive by NPC rush rules. As it is, sometimes it would be just as effective to put names in a hat and draw.

"Letter pimps" are a problem, often for the strongest chapters. The "weaker" chapters may complain that things are unequal and unfair, but let me tell you, even the strongest chapter is affected in a negative way by Letter Pimps. We had our share of these and they were dead weight, plain and simple. We had a theory that a chapter of 70 really dedicated, fantastic sisters was far preferable to a chapter of 100 where 30 of them were dead weight and thus caused problems with participation numbers, etc. So we found ways to "weed out" the problem children. But it wasn't always easy. It seems to me that often the so-called "weaker chapters" have stronger membership in terms of dedication and purer motivation for being there.

I wish it could be fair for everyone. I wish that everyone's dream could come true with rush. But it doesn't. Even when everything seems perfect and a girl breezes through and gets her first choice, sometimes things just don't work out and she isn't happy. We don't always know what is best for us. Unfortunately we do not live in a world which guarantees our happiness at all times. But I think rush is a very realistic microcosm of society as a whole, and it acheives it purpose--to help prepare and equip these girls for what they are going to face in life after college.

FuzzieAlum · #50 01-29-2002, 08:20 PM

Very well said, Erika!

ZetaLuvBunny · #51 01-29-2002, 11:07 PM

Bravo! Encore!

justamom · #52 01-31-2002, 08:06 AM

ErikaXO, I have to say you have been sharing some wonderful opinions. I really enjoy reading your posts on the different aspects of Greek issues.

shadokat · #53 01-31-2002, 11:10 AM

Erika--

Your post was great, with the exception of one thing I'd like to comment on. Do you honestly believe that recruitment is a microcosm of society? I mean, yes, there are similarities, but if life was like an SEC recruitment, I'd have shot myself by now

Recruitment is helpful in that you learn skills on how to deal with people you don't know and how to get to know folks, but it hardly compares with the real world.

Guess I just have a different perception.

Heather

LeslieAGD · #54 01-31-2002, 11:18 AM

In a perfect Greek world where there were no elite sororities and rush infractions/dirty rushing didn't happen, we wouldn't need so many recruitment rules and "no contact" policies. As I have mentioned before (see my Rho Chi Point of View thread), my campus has 8 national sororities and 3 that are considered "the big three" during recruitment. When I was a Rho Chi, my partner and I made it very clear on the second day that in order to find the sorority that best fits you, you must be willing to see past the "happy recruitment facade" and judge these chapters fairly. Out of my entire group, 15 girls stuck with recruitment and only was was dropped the day of preference. I am proud to say that these 14 girls are doing great and as far as I know, they are all very committed to their organizations and none of them has dropped. My point is that I don't think it's unfair to say that most girls will end up where they are meant to be if they actually give each house a fair shot before and after they get a bid. Now, remember that I am speaking from a mid-size Michigan school, not a large southern school where the massive amount of PNMs can cause complications.

ErikaXO · #55 01-31-2002, 11:41 PM

Heather, I agree that SEC rush is especially tough....but I believe rush is a lot like real life. Think about it...you are going for a job. You are up against countless other faces, some more qualified, some less. It will all come down to who the interviewer clicks best with. May not be the most educated or even most qualified. Same thing with the whole dating scene. Does a guy really pick you (initially) on your entire spectrum of inner qualities? No.....there is something, usually physical, that draws him to you over the numerous others he could go for. I guess the greater meaning of what I intended is to say that life is not fair. Ever. And the way rush is conducted is a pretty good example of that. But I respectfully acknowledge your opinion and if I had gone to an SEC school I might see it differently.

amycat412 · #56 02-01-2002, 12:36 AM

Erika-- GREAT MINDS think alike! See my post in the Dartmouth thread, I said practically the same thing!

amycat412 · #57 02-01-2002, 02:53 AM

My big sis' best friend (and my best friend's big sis) Susie was a double Chi O legacy, both her mom and grandma were not only XOs, but XOs from our chapter. Both were past Presidents of the chapter.

Susie grew up with Chi O this and Chi O that and spending weekends around the house helping her dad and brothers paint, etc.

She wanted to make her own choices, and she cut XO at first opportunity, thinking that was what she had to do to make her own choice, not have it made for her by the weight of her family's legacy on our campus.

Well, as it turned out Susie pref'd two houses and got cross cut.

XO snap bid her and she went on to be President of our chapter as well.

I am not a fan of the whole "you'll end up where you were meant to" thing at all-- too many people can drop thru the cracks or have an off week and rush badly and have it devastate them. The smallest thing can throw off someone's rush.

But like h2oot said, the system, in spite of its flaws, works and the majority of PNMs get placed. You may not get your first choice--but in those early stages, I do believe you could be happy in a number of different chapters, not just one or two, its once we've been in our chapters for awhile that we find they've become a home and we couldn't imagine ourselves anywhere else.

But again, that's not to say the system is perfect or works for everyone. That is obvious. But i think it works more often than it doesn't.

shadokat · #58 02-01-2002, 06:32 PM

I guess our recruitment is just different from what you all experienced. With 10 sororities and 150 girls going through recruitment, nobody slips through the cracks or gets lost. On our campus 100 girls signed up for recruitment. First round was on the 30th. Only 64 of the 100 came. So, now you have 10 sororities vying for only 64 women. If you're lucky, you'll get 80-85% return rate to second round, and hopefully do as well for prefs. But trust me...the bigger sororities don't cut anyone because they know that the more women that want them, the less chance they have of missing quota. It is sad the number of women who go through recruitment making it all the way to prefs and never even getting a second thought for a bid. I remember one year, we had 85 girls go through recruitment and one of the sororities had 80 of those women come back for prefs. There is NO WAY that should happen.

So as for you all who go to big schools and have all that hub bub that goes with recruitment, congrats, and enjoy it. You could be fighting for 6 women.

LeslieAGD · #59 02-02-2002, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by shadokat
I remember one year, we had 85 girls go through recruitment and one of the sororities had 80 of those women come back for prefs. There is NO WAY that should happen.

Whoa! We have a policy where you can only invite a certain percent back to each round so that those kinds of situations don't happen!

PiPhiERDoc · #60 02-02-2002, 10:09 PM

You're absolutely right about that -- it should NEVER be that "strong" house ends up with that many girls on preference. The way it works with our Panhell (and I think this is, or should, be pretty standard) is that your invite number is based on the precentage of rushees who have returned for the last three years. I.E. if quota is 20, and you have had an 80% return rate for the past 3 years, you would get to invite back 44 (so hopefully you will have 2 parties of 20 rushees each).
This is such a difficult issue, and I really see it playing out on our small campus. When you only have 5 houses, it is pretty easy for rushees to figure out who the "top"houses are. We have lost 1 chapter in the last five years, and another is really struggling...but of course if that one goes, then someone else has to be on the bottom, and I feel like our greek system is slowly being chipped away. While we have been lucky to be one of the strong houses on campus, as I look at this now from the prospective of an advisor, it makes me really sad to see that this happen because one house's struggle (or loosing a chapter) makes us ALL weaker. To be the last house standing is NOT the goal. And I also get a chance to work with the other advisors and know that every house on our campus has something to offer. However, I also know that this is easy to say when I was lucky enough to pledge the house of my dreams...it would have been hard to join a chapter that you weren't sure was going to be around in a year or two. Ugh! No good solutions.