PNM advice: the importance of personal connections in recruitment

[Titchou]

Aha! Nothing like getting railroaded by a "whop, whop" mom....

Mom, if your daughter wants to ask us a question, we're more than happy to answer. As for you, take a cue from the directions for the mother of the groom - wear beige and be quiet. Just tell her that you love her and know she'll make the right decision. It's time for her to do that and you to be be supportive of whatever she does.

You may feel differently when you have an 18 yr. old daughter, if you are that fortunate... Sorry you are already so bitter and angry. I was warned about this site,
should have paid attention.

[andthen]

Originally Posted by Life is good

You may feel differently when you have an 18 yr. old daughter, if you are that fortunate... Sorry you are already so bitter and angry. I was warned about this site,
should have paid attention.

This coming from someone who gets on this site and immediate starts making ignorant and snarky comments. Granted you did apologize, but unfortunately you didn't get off to the best footing with others on this site.

[pinksequins]

They do have daughters, so the assumption is wrong. Many are also quite informed about the respective organizations. They are not bitter. They are calling the facts as they see them, which is probably a bit more objectively than you are doing at the moment. Two extremely good pieces of advice have been tendered that can be helpful to you and your daughter. First, don't overstrategize. That approach often backfires. However, don't allow the pendulum to swing the opposite direction with rose-colored glasses. Your daughter seems to be managing the process well thus far. Don't risk overstrategizing and later regrets. Second, repeating that your daughter seems to be managing the process well thus far; kudos to her. She seems from your description to have a level head, which is quite an attribute for an 18 year old. This is exactly what she needs. Encourage her to talk out her reasoning, which is often more important than coming up with "the answer". She's tackling the process well. Again, don't overthink and don't overstrategize. And avoid rose-colored glasses. It's a balancing act, and not an easy one -- particularly for IU.

[carnation]

TTT!

[elizey7]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

If you're talking January recruitment, you should already know sorority members as you've had plenty of time.

Now if we're talking SEPTEMBER, anything you're really going to do to attempt to get to know someone is kind of "too little too late." You can try, but "Hi I'm Suzie" in class two weeks before recruitment is different from having known the member you're speaking to from last semester.

So I know a few girls in the sorority, since I rushed last year and didn't get a bid. Am I at a slight disadvantage since I don't know EVERYBODY?

[FSUZeta]

Most chapters are so large it is near impossible for a non member to know all the members. It may be helpful that you do know some members, but they can help you best during rush by talking you up to their sisters, making sure that you meet lots of members yet still have time for meaningful conversations during the parties, and by being your champion during the voting process. However, please understand that no matter how close the connection, no matter how valiantly they may advocate for you, it boils down to what you have done to pave the way( your GPA, your activities, your reputation, your appearance, your recs, and how you present yourself) and the way the chapter votes.

[33girl]

^she's rushing at a small school with 2 local sororities. I don't think the chapters being immensely large is a concern.

[navane]

The one, more established sorority at her school appears to have about 50 members.

[cebrain]

My daughter is starting her senior year of high school and is working her way through all of the advice here. She knows she will want to pledge wherever she decides to go to school. Since she is a CIT this summer at her camp I encouraged her to take note of the older girls she meets and find out affiliations, ask questions (but not be obnoxious) and keep a list of people for possible recs. This way we can start a small database of potential people when we begin rec packets around Christmas time. We already have a beginning list of family, friends, and know to contact the local panhellenic to register in the fall. Is there any other prep work we could be doing at this stage? Thank you ladies for all your helpful advice

[FSUZeta]

It sounds good to me. If her college has a meet the greeks day it might be fun for her to go. The GL office often plans a separate info session for the parents, so you would also have something to do.

[AZ-AlphaXi]

Another thing to keep in mind, once you find someone to write a rec, ask them if
they know someone from groups you don't have covered. Sorority women know
other women from many groups, not just their own.

[Sciencewoman]

Also, some groups don't allow collegians to write recs (I know Pi Phi doesn't), and those that do generally only allow collegians to write them for women going through recruitment at other schools (such as my sorority). So, while making connections with camp counselors who are sorority members is helpful, this is probably not the actual rec-writing pool she'll need. She will need alumnae rec writers for most sororities.

[KSUViolet06]

Bumping!

[carnation]

Bumping again!