In-law venting thread - Page 4

dreamseeker · #46 08-26-2009, 11:12 AM

AOII_LB93- cracking up @ ur signature. lol

MysticCat · #47 08-26-2009, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOII_LB93

MC, No, no, not lumping them in...it's just more to add to the host of issues the guy already has, that my SIL doesn't want to deal with yet complains about constantly. If you had a daughter (which I don't remember if you do, but I remember you mentioning a son? . . .

I have a daughter and a son (with ADHD and a few other challanges).

Quote:

Maybe I'm crazy) would you question her choice of marrying a guy who has no career prospects(he currently makes minimum wage), that was an ex-addict, was emotionally abusive to her, whose family has a history of mental illness, ex-con/addict, etc...? And she wants to make kids with said guy and thinks she's going to be a stay at home mom?

I would definitely question that, and would be very concerned.

I'm probably being a little overly parental in other ways, though, because if my daughter added ADHD or OCD to her list of complaints, I would feel the need to remind her that her brother has ADHD, or that a cousin she loves (who is doing very well) has OCD.

I get what you're saying, though.

CutiePie2000 · #48 08-26-2009, 11:24 AM

Where is KillarneyRose? I know that she has a monster in law too.

WinniBug · #49 09-04-2009, 11:09 PM

So apparently, Mr. WinniBug's family doesn't communicate.

I bought his mom some pictures of Annalisse for her birthday about a month early, I even asked SIL which pictures MIL might prefer. About a week before her birthday, hubby tells me SIL texted him about us going in with her and BIL to get the MIL a digital picture frame. I asked him if he told her we already had a gift for his mom, and he hemmed and hawed and basically told me "idk" (this is becoming his answer for EVERYTHING lately, but that's another story...) I told him that he needed to tell her that we already had her birthday gift ordered. I got a "yeah, yeah, yeah" as a response.

Well, ffwd a little bit. Hubby works Sundays, so does FIL. So what does BIL do? He plans MIL's b-day dinner for Sunday. I told him Joel had to work; he replied that "no one else planned anything, so I did." We end up meeting MIL, FIL and 16 yr-old BIL for lunch on Saturday, and told her that her gift had been ordered and was on its way.

A couple days ago, hubby and I both receive fwded texts from MIL thanking us for the digital picture frame. I told her that she hasn't gotten her gift from us yet. This prompts her to tell SIL God-knows what, but hubby gets a text asking why we weren't going in on the picture frame.

So TODAY, MIL sends us both a text "SIL is depending on you to go in one the gift since she was told you would."

What business is it of hers?? Back your nosy ass out of shit that doesn't concern you!

I told her we ordered her b-day gift over a month ago, but that we'd just save it for Christmas.

AOII_LB93 · #50 09-24-2009, 07:16 PM

Survived the visit...and she is still talking shit on me, isn't that great!? *sigh*

ellebud · #51 09-24-2009, 09:17 PM

Hijack: A dear friend's son just got married to the daughter in law from hell. I can see how some of this starts. The DIL wanted her in laws to write her a blank check for their wedding. They agreed to an amount and the the DIL threw daily temper tantrums to her future MIL. The wedding was a nightmare. Our friends weren't allowed to give a toast, get pictures, do a mother/son dance. Nothing. (The amount the dear bride, who's mantra was, "IT'S MY DAY!!!!" was well over $50,000 plus a wedding present, engagement party AND rehearsal party.)

I have learned much from this wedding.

AOII_LB93 · #52 09-24-2009, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud

Hijack: A dear friend's son just got married to the daughter in law from hell. I can see how some of this starts. The DIL wanted her in laws to write her a blank check for their wedding. They agreed to an amount and the the DIL threw daily temper tantrums to her future MIL. The wedding was a nightmare. Our friends weren't allowed to give a toast, get pictures, do a mother/son dance. Nothing. (The amount the dear bride, who's mantra was, "IT'S MY DAY!!!!" was well over $50,000 plus a wedding present, engagement party AND rehearsal party.)

I have learned much from this wedding.

Hate to say it, but they should not have contributed money...it added to the pre-existing condition. Their bad on that one. She may be a bitch but they didn't have to foot the bill.

ellebud · #53 09-25-2009, 12:37 AM

You are correct. They refused to give more than they originally "promised". The engagement and rehearsal dinners (which were lovely and attended by 180 people) and they paid for the honeymoon. When their offer, to the bride and her mother, of $10,000 for flowers was rejected as paltry (their words) that was the end of the detente.

The bride's family gave the groom's family 60 places at the dinner, to their 240. It was an awful situation.

WinniBug · #54 09-25-2009, 07:04 AM

I invited hubby's inlaws up for a surprise birthday party last Friday night. (Invited them 2 weeks in advance)
MIL texted me Friday morning to tell me she was going to try to ride up with hubby's brother. FIL and youngest BIL didn't come; they stayed in town to watch the football game. (BIL doesn't play) Even my dad skipped his football game, and he's been religiously attending for 15 years.

ForeverRoses · #55 09-25-2009, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WinniBug

I invited hubby's inlaws up for a surprise birthday party last Friday night. (Invited them 2 weeks in advance)
MIL texted me Friday morning to tell me she was going to try to ride up with hubby's brother. FIL and youngest BIL didn't come; they stayed in town to watch the football game. (BIL doesn't play) Even my dad skipped his football game, and he's been religiously attending for 15 years.

My SIL and her husband (BIL-IL?) and their three kids can't make my son's 4th birthday party on Sunday because they have decided to go to a volleyball game.

No, their children are not playing in the volleyball game.

They live in the same city that we do, yet my kids see my sister (who lives on the other side of the country) and her family more than they do my SIL and her family.

APhi Sailorgirl · #56 09-28-2009, 11:07 AM

Flame away, but I told DH that if we don't get our promised 1st anniversary gift from MIL that she is no longer welcome at our house. He can see her, whatever, but she cannot come by here and I will not be going to her home.

She used it as an excuse for why she couldn't bother to give us a card, but 2 weeks after the wedding gave BIL and SIL a digital camera.

I don't care, I'm tired of this shitty people getting away with it. At least this should make holidays easier if we can just cut them out of the rotation. I already told DH that I will be working christmas eve and that his family can either coordinate appropriately or he can go by himself. That would work a whole lot better for me anyways.

ellebud · #57 09-28-2009, 02:06 PM

Let me make a suggestion: And I am saying this a DIL who ONLY received two presents from my inlaws...from a Thrift store....and they are VERY wealthy people. In the 30 years of our marriage I never received a birthday card from them. When my parents died they were too busy to call with condolences. And they employed BIL for 30 years, built him a business AND they are constantly broke despite a hefty (in the milllions, low millions, but millions...) and come to my husband for free legal aid....Okay I know what kind of people you are dealing with.

Sweat the big stuff. A stupid wedding gift, so what? A digital camera...penny ante crap. Your inlaws are probably (not in your estimation but in reality) quite young. Fifties, sixties? You are the hated daughter in law. Don't give them a reason to hate you more. Be polite. In a few years, fewer than you think...they will need their children. And then, in your husband's eyes (which is all that counts) you will be a saint. Act like a bitch now...sweetie...you may not have a husband. (I am speaking as a DIL who was once a young bride.) I faced far more insults than a camera or lack thereof: How would you like it if your husband's family refused to "let" you sit at a family table...or....go to a family reunion? Happened to me.

Now I'm the (quoting my MIL) "rich DIL who is the classiest and nicest...I always take her out beautifully..."...and I bite my tongue the whole time.

AOII_LB93 · #58 10-01-2009, 06:30 PM

I'm with ellebud on this one....there are much bigger fish to fry ultimately. If you want to stay married, sometimes it's better to just swallow it and smile.

KSUViolet06 · #59 10-03-2009, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilsunshine214

In response to that she posted something really snarky on my Facebook wall that said, "Not like I'll be consulted anyway, but I hate those baby names and oh, you know that baby name that you once told me that you love, it suxxxxxxxxxxxx (yeah, she put that many x's)." I was like, O_O "What did I do?!" This is TOTALLY not like her!

Shot in the dark, but maybe someone else was using her Facebook? That doesn't seem like something an adult MIL would say, esp. if you say she is nice otherwise?

ASAlady · #60 10-03-2009, 08:27 PM

I don't know, but I think my MIL story may just take the cake. My MIL never liked me or my family and never really gave me a reason, either. When my husband and I got married we were given a family house as a "gift." I was 100% against the idea. They wanted to keep the house in the family because it was the grandparent's house and grama died and grampa was in a home but they couldn't bear to sell it. So they asked us to live there and become "caretakers of the estate" where we didn't pay rent or mortgage but we paid upkeep, repairs, utilities, insurance, to the tune of $800/month.

Well, my husband who is in the Army gets deployed. As soon as he leaves, MIL tells me I had 3 weeks to be out of the house. She listed the house on the market and it sold within 5 days. I had to call the American Red Cross to track down my husband and I asked him what to do- our lives had been in this house for years. I got out of there in time and never looked back, nor have I spoken to my in laws since. They all turned on me and never gave me a reason other than "they don't think we are right for each other." My husband took my side and refuses to speak to his family. His mom wrote to him for awhile and he just sent the letters back. It's sad that it came to this but at the same time it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from both of us. I doubt I will ever see MIL again, I know he will never speak to her again, and if we have children, it's sad, but they will never know their father's family. Sad story but sometimes in laws can be like that.