People you don't want as sisters

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by starang21
my thing is, if you really don't like a person, what's the point of letting them in and dealing with their crap? cut them and call it a day. they'll be pissed whether or not you told them nicely.

Hey wait a second -- isn't that what everyone is saying? I think that most people here are saying that if a PNM is not liked, in all likelihood she will get cut. Nobody wants to invite someone she doesn't like into her sisterhood.

I don't necessarily think it's true that people will be pissed whether you're "nice" to them or not. If someone says, "Hey, sorry, you're not going to get a bid," I think it's less likely that the person would be pissed than if she was told, "Hey, we think you suck, now go away."

I don't think that telling someone she's wack does anybody any good. If she's *not* really wack (in an objective manner that could be diagnosed by a psychiatrist), she's going to be pissed, and if she is, well, who knows what she will do, but I doubt it's going to be anything good.

I think that, as greeks, it's our job to give everyone a fair chance, but it's not our job to fix the world. It's a nice thought, but anyway, we're not qualified.

[Shelacious]

Originally posted by dzrose93


I know that NPHC orgs have different policies concerning Rush, and I can certainly understand that. I have the utmost respect for NPHC organizations, and I'm sure that they handle rushees in a way that is best for them. Please understand and respect the fact that we in the NPC have different policies, and that what works for you may not work for us.

I wouldn't say it's a NPHC policy to state our reasons publicly for denying an applicant. I can say certainly that "I" have never had to provide our reasons for denial to any aspirant, although I have upon occasion if appropriate (grades, units, and other objective criteria). I think one of the main differences between the two rushes are that we don't usually bring in first semester freshman, so we've usually had at least one year to observe an applicant, and to possibly notify them of potential behavior that may prohibit them from receiving an invite. Even this is not obligatory though--some chapters may help out an aspirant they really like to "smooth the edges", while others may never say a word to the aspirant and simply never extend an invitation to the person. Some aspirants may get rejected the first year, work on their issues with assistance from the chapter, reapply and be accepted, and others will never reapply or never be accepted no matter how many times they apply. It really depends on the make-up and tradition of that particular chapter, I suppose.

I doubt very seriously if my organization would ever tell an aspirant they were denied for subjective reasons, because it is simply our prerogative to not accept everyone who applies—it is the basis of a social sorority. There is no need to be ungracious about it either—they simply weren’t a good fit for my sorority, but it has nothing to do with them not being a cool person— I was taught that not all your friends will automatically make good Sorority members anyway.

[AOX81]

Recently we has a girl go through rush that seemed "normal" and we gave her a bid, she pledged, and she was initiated.

A few months later she starts stirring up MAJOR drama (I have written a couple previous threads about this) and decides she is going to go inactive. She basically put every member down, did some "un-sigma" like things with a sisters boyfriend (who just happens to be her big sister) and then turns around and wants to come back active again. Lets just say it was a unanimous NO!

We had to learn the hard way.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally posted by starang21


uhh, yea. last time i checked, i was.

Sorry, smartarse, my bad. My ESP doesn't work over the Internet.

[dzrose93]

Originally posted by Shelacious


I wouldn't say it's a NPHC policy to state our reasons publicly for denying an applicant. I can say certainly that "I" have never had to provide our reasons for denial to any aspirant, although I have upon occasion if appropriate (grades, units, and other objective criteria). I think one of the main differences between the two rushes are that we don't usually bring in first semester freshman, so we've usually had at least one year to observe an applicant, and to possibly notify them of potential behavior that may prohibit them from receiving an invite. Even this is not obligatory though--some chapters may help out an aspirant they really like to "smooth the edges", while others may never say a word to the aspirant and simply never extend an invitation to the person. Some aspirants may get rejected the first year, work on their issues with assistance from the chapter, reapply and be accepted, and others will never reapply or never be accepted no matter how many times they apply. It really depends on the make-up and tradition of that particular chapter, I suppose.

I doubt very seriously if my organization would ever tell an aspirant they were denied for subjective reasons, because it is simply our prerogative to not accept everyone who applies—it is the basis of a social sorority. There is no need to be ungracious about it either—they simply weren’t a good fit for my sorority, but it has nothing to do with them not being a cool person— I was taught that not all your friends will automatically make good Sorority members anyway.

Shelacious,

Thanks so much for offering an NPHC perspective. For the most part, it seems as if the NPHC and NPC share a similar viewpoint on this issue. And your last sentence sums up my sentiments exactly!

[KillarneyRose]

Can someone tell me what "wack" means in regard to this thread?

Thanks!

[FuzzieAlum]

"Wack" is not bad hair, fitting in better elsewhere, or having funny clothes. It's not having a GPA too low or two few activities - I would have to agree although that it is generally AXD's policy not to say why a girl did not get a bid, if it was something like GPA and we really wanted her, I would tell her to bring the GPA up and try again.

"Wack" is having serious mental problems - and not even something like depression, which I know many wonderful sisters cope with, it's more like torturing squirrels and dogs.

It's someone who has depledged from several groups in the past, or quit several student organizations after causing internal dissension.

It's a girl you know has a serious problem with drugs or alcohol to where it impairs her ability to cope with everyday life.

It's the kind of girl who, if you do bid her, causes PNMs to say, "I like your group, but I don't want to be known as X's sister."

It's the kind of girl whose ex-boyfriends put restraining order out on.

Or it's even someone who is so negative she will tear apart your organization. Formal rush sucks, this school sucks, my roommate sucks, our bid day t-shirt sucks, I should have joined XYZ instead, I hate it here, I hate my pledge class - all the time, until you wonder why she was interested in the first place.

At least, that was the sort of thing I was thinking of when I posed the question.

[KillarneyRose]

I see, thanks FuzzieAlum!

[starang21]

Originally posted by Shelacious


I think one of the main differences between the two rushes are that we don't usually bring in first semester freshman, so we've usually had at least one year to observe an applicant, and to possibly notify them of potential behavior that may prohibit them from receiving an invite. Even this is not obligatory though--some chapters may help out an aspirant they really like to "smooth the edges", while others may never say a word to the aspirant and simply never extend an invitation to the person. Some aspirants may get rejected the first year, work on their issues with assistance from the chapter, reapply and be accepted, and others will never reapply or never be accepted no matter how many times they apply.

true, this is something that NPHC groups really don't have to worry about. by the time that person had decided to intake, people in the organization already know who that person is, and what that person is about. working on their issues is also a way of trying to help them be a better person. you can't just sit there, let them continue to be at fault. if i'm not going to say anything, someone is, and chances are, that someone isn't going to say it as politely as i am. might as well try and solve the problem now instead of letting it get worse. being blunt is just a way to say things, some people might have other ways. but shelacious is right, that depends on chapter to chapter.

[starang21]

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80


Sorry, smartarse, my bad. My ESP doesn't work over the Internet.

hahaha. but anyhOW, this is a thread on sororities issues, not fraternities. i'll OWt.

[ZetaLuvBunny]

Hopefully I won't be in this type of situation next fall... One of my new housemates wants to go through NPC recruitment next year. However, she said she was denied that oppurtunity this fall because her GPA was too low, so perhaps she won't be able to rush next year either. Oddly enough, at first glance she seems more like the "anti-Greek" type.

Anyhow, if by some strange chance she does raise her GPA enough to rush, I will DEFINITELY alert my sisters as to her character. I doubt she'll be able to, though, because she told me she "could care less about grades" (NOT something you should tell a sister if you are thinking of rushing).

Aside from this, she openly told our other roommate and I about some of her FREQUENT promiscuous escapades: "10 minutes after I met him (on Spring Break) we slept together", her multiple piercings in unmentionable places, and her "love affair with Jack Daniels and Budweiser" (she has GIGANTIC alcohol posters hanging all around her bedroom). She even admitted to being an alcoholic! Basically stated, she is NOT someone I would deem worthy of my letters-or anyone else's letters for that matter.

[RockChalk]

I've really enjoyed reading this thread. It's interesting to see all the different ways people have dealt with this type of situation.

This is probably obvious to most of you, but I'm going to say it anyway. If a person who you don't want in your organization asks you for information about joining, please don't just ignore them. Tell them whatever you think is appropriate, but don't just blow them off like a bad blind date. As has often been said on this board, rush is a bit like a job interview. Most job hunters prefer a firm "yes" or "no" to being left hanging. I'd wager most rushees would too.

In my opinion, being rejected is far worse than being flat-out ignored.

[JonInKC]

Years ago, I found out this girl I sat by in one of my classes was the pledge educator for one of the sororities on campus. I asked her do you have a girl named so and so? She said yes, and I told her about how her pledge dated one of the guys at the house. While I was being initiated, she stood outside the house yelling for her boyfriend the entire time. When I think of ritual, I'll always remember her dumb ass outside yelling the whole time. A short while later, an ambulance had to come take her because she swallowed a bunch of Benadryl.


I don't know if that girl wound up going through initiation but that had to be an interesting conversation between her and her pledge educator.

[FSUZeta]

Yikes Jon! I hope that sorority was able to depledge her.